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What are your red flags during a first date
- Thread starter Cryptosporidium
- Start date
OP
OP
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Some guys take it personally Ive found
Also is that Susumu Hirasawa in your ava? Cuz Ride in the Blue Limbo is perfection
1, talking about an ex
2. beiing rude to others or talk bad about others (this in general is the absolute low point)
3. heavy hints about what they like to do in bed
4. too much talking about themselves, not asking about me or even interupting me
Had it all
2. beiing rude to others or talk bad about others (this in general is the absolute low point)
3. heavy hints about what they like to do in bed
4. too much talking about themselves, not asking about me or even interupting me
Had it all
Oh, picking up is totally fine if it's family. She needs to know whether it's an emergency. But if it's a social call she needs to go "I'll have to call you back, I'm busy right now".
Imagine having a conversation with someone and then suddenly a third person interrupts you to talk about something completely different. Picking up the phone while on a date is exactly that except worse. The person picking up has the option of not picking up and carrying on with the conversation.
It's like a lot of people have an ingrained belief that it is rude NOT to answer your phone when it rings. It isn't.
Talking about the ex.
Saying "I like to have fun" and then not really elaborating on it. Nothing more bland.
Repeating themselves 3-4 times and asking if you understood.
Swearing that a restaurant you know has awful food is, in fact, the bomb and has the dopest *insert awful variation of a classic*.
"I don't like spicy food"
"You need to meet my brother/sister/best friend next time", because it always comes across as being something they dictate the next few dates by. I hate people who only go by their friends and family's approval.
"You see, I'm not technically employed, per se, but...*insert elaborate way of saying they don't work or make any sort of income*"
Trying to hide the fact that they do serious fucking drugs by lying about the severity of things like why they use a prescription drug like Suboxone.
Saying they don't do kisses/sex/whatever until a set number of dates. I'm not on a timer.
Telling me that they only do whatever their best friend tells them to do. Basically, any time someone tells me that another person dictates every choice they make in life.
Implying that any hobbies I might have are for losers, and, without interruption, following it up with "and i'm not saying saying you are, or anything, it's just that...". Thanks.
Implying that my salary or something I do makes me beneath people or is irrelevant.
Saying "I like to have fun" and then not really elaborating on it. Nothing more bland.
Repeating themselves 3-4 times and asking if you understood.
Swearing that a restaurant you know has awful food is, in fact, the bomb and has the dopest *insert awful variation of a classic*.
"I don't like spicy food"
"You need to meet my brother/sister/best friend next time", because it always comes across as being something they dictate the next few dates by. I hate people who only go by their friends and family's approval.
"You see, I'm not technically employed, per se, but...*insert elaborate way of saying they don't work or make any sort of income*"
Trying to hide the fact that they do serious fucking drugs by lying about the severity of things like why they use a prescription drug like Suboxone.
Saying they don't do kisses/sex/whatever until a set number of dates. I'm not on a timer.
Telling me that they only do whatever their best friend tells them to do. Basically, any time someone tells me that another person dictates every choice they make in life.
Implying that any hobbies I might have are for losers, and, without interruption, following it up with "and i'm not saying saying you are, or anything, it's just that...". Thanks.
Implying that my salary or something I do makes me beneath people or is irrelevant.
You can date me any time and I'll even let you pay for my meal. Lol
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This is where we differ.
Unimportant things don't cause calls in my life. They cause texts.
If I get a call, no matter who, I'm picking up 99% of the time. If they take the time to call, I have the time to at least pick up, see if its important, and then tell them I'll call back if it isn't urgent.
Ugh.. Yes. I had a date once where the girl told me her parents picked out her mobile phone and data plan. Maybe she just meant they know more about that stuff but it came across as "hehe, don't ask me.. I'm just a girl". I knew the date was over at that point.
Hey! If you put something somewhere and it falls down 3(!) times it simply ceased its right to exist on this world in my eyes.
Oh I forgot pseudo philosophical/spiritual shit and being a bit too hard into "natural" stuff like pseudo science etc. The reddest of flags.
Wow, you found a girl who wants to experiment in the bedroom and you said no??? Y'all missed out.
I have a friend who is talking about how many pairs of ears to bring 8 months before her trip.
There is liking Disney and then there is, "I don't want to listen to Disney sing along songs for 6 hours straight for the nth time, Sarah". There are a lot of people out there on par with the worst Fandoms, but get a pass since it's Disney.
I remember, not even during a date, just hanging out, when a girl told me about how aspartame destroys the brain.
That was a tiny and deeply orange flag. More importantly, and this killed the interest in even friendship for me, she then told me about how she'd never trust a child with a male kindergarten teacher or primary school teacher. Because those men are obviously and guaranteed pedophiles.
That was a tiny and deeply orange flag. More importantly, and this killed the interest in even friendship for me, she then told me about how she'd never trust a child with a male kindergarten teacher or primary school teacher. Because those men are obviously and guaranteed pedophiles.
-Only being interested in a relationship if you drive a BMW
-Making "plans" about becoming a pop star
-Always having your twin sister around you
-Worshipping the devil
-Being the reincarnation of Joane of Arc
-Dating while your still-spouse is on death row
-Making "plans" about becoming a pop star
-Always having your twin sister around you
-Worshipping the devil
-Being the reincarnation of Joane of Arc
-Dating while your still-spouse is on death row
I don't think he said they did.
Seeing no kiss as a sign of a failed date is unreasonable in my eyes, but your interpretation is quite extreme
Never said they did. That's a weird way to view that statement.
Having height issues or being enamored of the Disney protagonist.
I like women who are their own self. They don't need me 24/7.
But it feels like we've been told as a society that's the ideal.
I like women who are their own self. They don't need me 24/7.
But it feels like we've been told as a society that's the ideal.
Okay, let me explain my interpretation of your original post:
"If we don't kiss on the first date, it must not have gone well, so there won't be a second date"
This assumes that, in order for a first date to be successful, there MUST be a kiss. This immediately throws out all of the peoole who might prefer to move slower when dating, before committing to something like a kiss. It sets an expectation, therefore my statement "your date doesn't owe you a kiss"
Misleading images before date
Doesn't offer to split bill
Smoker/drug user (like if they even mention it)
Cannot go a date without looking at her phone.
Doesn't offer to split bill
Smoker/drug user (like if they even mention it)
Cannot go a date without looking at her phone.
No. I've just found if myself or them or both aren't willing to kiss by the end of the date there generally isn't enough chemistry to lead to a second date. I've found this to be true 100% of the time where I live.
It's 2018, bud. Everyone, and our parents are looking at our phones during dinner.
It's not a faux pax .
I mean, whatever works for you. I still disagree with that sentiment, but regardless, sorry for calling you creepy.
Kissing at the first date could feel like rushing imo. Second date feels better. There's exceptions ofc.
I'd say if you're looking at your phone too much on a date you're having a date with your friends, not with the person you're currently with.
Obviously. But it could also mean you're disinterring and not at all engaged in in topics at hand.
I don't know anyone who looks at their phone during dinner.
True, and at that point the date is effectively over :b
Did you live in Japan? In Finland it's extremely common.
Well this thread has completely put me off wanting to date ever again.
I saw somebody earlier saying wearing jeans is a red flag. What's wrong with jeans? I don't think men have many alternatives for what to wear. I sure ain't wearing smart trousers on a date.
I saw somebody earlier saying wearing jeans is a red flag. What's wrong with jeans? I don't think men have many alternatives for what to wear. I sure ain't wearing smart trousers on a date.
Regarding the cellphone: I assume that if we are going to spend time on a date together, it is to learn about eachother. If one or both persons aren't willing to have a conversation and prefer to check out their phones regularly (or, worse, browse the internet or post on ResetERA), then the date is a failure.
Don't worry, most posts seem extremely picky and exaggerated, that's not the reality of dating in general. People usually want to like the person they are going on a date with.
Uhm, in a 1 on 1 date? Yeah no.
Sure, read a message on the lock screen or check the time or something but dicking around on your phone on the first date just means either you're boring as fuck or she's just rude.