Trump takes to the stage and spreads his arms open, imitating Jesus on the cross. As he opens his flabby, denture-filled mouth, a deep, guttural scream emanates from his lips:
"I HEARBY DECLARE THE ECONOMY....OPEN!!!"
As he says it, a grin creeps across his face. He believes himself to be triumphant. The greatest leader in the history of the world. Surely this will solve the deep economic problems facing the nation, and thereby his re-election chances. As he is basking in his glorious moment, a secret service agent leans over to him, whispering quietly in his ear, to ensure only he can hear.
"Sir...this is a Wendy's..."