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Unvaxxed Grand Parents (My parents) insisting again to come to kids bday party
- Thread starter captive
- Start date
I'd disagree in that it's not dangerous anymore, it's not as dangerous to those who've vaccinated for sure but it can still affect people pretty severely.
Side note I'm still mad your thread about the tape was locked.
I am not disagreeing with you about January numbers and overall severity, but fatality numbers have plummeted currently. Average daily deaths are at around 400 per day nationwide. If your kids and other guests don't have crazy co-morbidities or are immunocompromised, it is not at all likely someone is going to die or even be hospitalized at this point. January was still in the grips of a massive wave, and that wave is just not happening right now in America.
But, as I said: it's your house, your rules. I would still be more worried at this point at them passing on crazy conspiracy theories, or other insanity.
Yeah. OPs parents should get vaccinated, but at this point COVID seems to spread regardless of vaccination status of not. Especially BA2. Of course the difference is in immune protection.
Nothing wrong with doing both. The unvaccinated by choice should be excluded from everything possible.
People in this thread advocating for caving to anti-vaxxers because "family first" are strange to me.
If the grandparents don't respect OP's wishes or his family enough to get vaccinated, it goes beyond a public safety issue, and more about them just being assholes.
They can kick rocks.
If the grandparents don't respect OP's wishes or his family enough to get vaccinated, it goes beyond a public safety issue, and more about them just being assholes.
They can kick rocks.
Which is still higher than last summer, pre DELTA. Deaths are certainly low, but we actually don't know what case levels are at. Testing is at such a low point, with so many just doing home tests or even just ignoring it, there's no real way to say how much COVID is out there. Notably though, with hospitalizations at the lowest point in the entire pandemic now (though they are starting to rise again, BA2 is going to cause at least a small wave), deaths seem to be higher than we'd expect, which calls into question the idea that Omicron is far less severe that has been touted.
A lot of people in this thread who just want to pretend COVID is over. It isn't. Yes, its in one of the better states currently of the pandemic. It is however still very much a threat, and future waves are still going to come. A lot of people are still dying. We should absolutely still be getting vaccinated and trying to convince those who haven't to do so. The unvaccinated are still very much a danger to themselves, but also those around them as while breakthrough cases certainly happen, the vaccine does significantly lower your risk of getting COVID and thus your risk of catching it. Not as much as it did pre Omicron, but still significantly.
I'm not advocating those who are vaccinated continue to live like its April of 2020. I'm going out and doing things at this point. I ate breakfast at a VERY popular, VERY crowded place on Saturday. My server was not wearing a mask. I did until I got to my table, and I waited outside until my place in line was close to being up, but I still went. Even 6 months ago this would have seemed inconceivable, but now I go with it. I'm going to go see Doctor Strange 2 in a couple weeks. Not on opening night, I'll wait until its been out a week or so and then go to a day time showing, but I'm going to go do it. I'm moving into a new house in a week and I will have movers coming, who I'm not planning to make mask up because they'll be doing heavy physical work which I know might be tough with that. I will certainly be wearing one though and they are of course free to do so if they'd like to. (my hunch is they won't) I had 6 people over to my new place to see it last week. There's room to move on, but there's also room to still take precautions and try to limit exposure as much as you can. You still shouldn't want COVID, even vaccinated long COVID is a risk and can be pretty brutal.
Even beyond that though, I don't get the whole let's just forget about the last 2 years and go back to normal thing. Those who still aren't vaccinated (outside of those who medically can't of course or small children) spent the last year and change basically telling you that they don't care about your safety or health. They weren't willing to get a freaking shot to protect the people they love. Why would you want to forget that? I'm lucky that most of me and my wife's family got vaccinated, with the majority even being boosted now. Her dad and step mom though have continued to refuse to do so, so we continue not to see them. After we refused to see them and my wife got upset that they wouldn't get vaccinated, they also cut off contact by phone even, telling everyone they knew that my wife had disowned them. (Which was never said, or even implied) Why would we want to go back to having those people in our lives? When people show you who they are, believe them.
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If they don't care enough to get vaccinated, they don't really care about their grandkids. It's pretty simple. Ground rules have been set in place and you either follow them or you don't. If you don't, there are consequences. They're apparently not making an effort to reach out to the kids and talk to them in general, so I don't think your children are missing much by not interacting with them.
well for starters the birthday already happened.
It was also a gymnastics place with no open internet.
Children under 5 aren't able to be vaccinated, so there's not much that can be done for kids other than to minimize their exposure risks as much as possible.
Testing would be a good compromise, so long as it was a PCR test rather than the at-home version. Given OP's parents, I doubt they would be willing to do that either.
It's a solution for the next your celebrations) I don't think that your parents will want to get vaccinated...
The ability to pretend anti-vaxxers ONLY have poor opinions about that ONE subject is one hell of a leisure huh?
Your family comes first. Either they see it that way or they care more about their stupid anti-vax stance. Don't budge an inch.
I mean, they could just get the jab, OP shouldn't bend over backwards to accommodate insanity.
This topic seems incredibly polarized when there's no need. The real question to the OP is: do you think it is important for your parents to have a relationship with your children? If you do, there are many ways to have such an interaction safely remotely or in person, even without your parents being vaccinated.
And it's ok if you are the one coming up with the suggestions. "They never asked" doesn't mean a whole lot, and it's a phase that often undercuts the the amount of control we have over our lives.
And it's ok if you are the one coming up with the suggestions. "They never asked" doesn't mean a whole lot, and it's a phase that often undercuts the the amount of control we have over our lives.
I don't think this is fair inasmuch as it seems clear the OP's parents don't want a relationship in the first place.
At this point the fear (for me at least) is way more about long Covid than it is death or hospitalization. The stats on that are a lot murkier but every time I hear about someone who had a mild case of Covid but still has fatigue and bouts of brain fog months later it scares the shit out of me.
Sounds like the parents are neck-deep in FoxNews & Qanon conspiracy theories.
On top of not being vaxxed, I would be very wary of exposing your kids to their mindrot if they ever start babysitting them in 5 years or so.
On top of not being vaxxed, I would be very wary of exposing your kids to their mindrot if they ever start babysitting them in 5 years or so.
But normal gatherings with vaccinated people can still have required tests. I did that the past few get togethers when infection rates were high as shit.
I don't understand. If they're negative, how are they harming your kids? Like I said above, I've hosted and attended events where you had to test negative, vaccine or no.
Well, good luck!
Love the posters throwing shade at op for doing the best to keep their family safe. Good look.
Good on you sticking to their guns op. If they care as much as they act like they do they would have gotten their vaccines. They can pound sand. I have a similar hard line with some family members. Not budging.
Good on you sticking to their guns op. If they care as much as they act like they do they would have gotten their vaccines. They can pound sand. I have a similar hard line with some family members. Not budging.
Lmao the line they threw in about all their friends being vaccinated makes it even worse. All the friends haven't spontaneously combusted from their shots, what reason do they have to not get vaccinated?
OP and posts like these make me feel better. This happened to my wife and I JUST YESTERDAY. Her family wanted an Easter Lunch. Mother-in-law called the wife and asked her to come, and made a point to say that her brother (not vaccinated) will be there. She declined. Mother-in-law starts giving her shit that "everyone else is vaccinated so it's fine."
No....... no it's not "fine."
I made it a point to my family that I wouldn't go on vacations with them if my brother was going due to their anti-vax status. And my wife made it a point to her family about not being around her brother due to his. This was made clear 2 years ago. To the posters saying that we're "punishing" these family members at this point.......sure, fine. I'll concede that at this point, I most likely am. But why shouldn't I? They didn't do their part during the height of all this bullshit.....but they still want to reap the rewards of a familial relationship when we're the only ones putting in the effort? (This argument sounds awfully familiar) No, fuck that.
"Our family won't ever be together in the same place again" her father tried guilting my wife just a week ago. Like it's OUR fault. No. This "problem" can be easily rectified by one simple action and the onus is not on us.
"Why won't you let us continue to be selfish and only think of ourselves!"
That's fine. If you feel you need to punish them, punish them. Only you know your family and your situation well enough to make that determination. I've been in countless similar situations and eventually learnt that all these pyrrhic victories were not really worth it and resulted in me punishing myself at least as much as the person who wronged me. I'm glad I realised this before it was too late, but everyone's situations are different.
Because you don't know they're negative. Rapid tests/home tests are much less accurate with Omicron and even before that, there was generally a several day period near the beginning where you could still test negative and be contagious. You could take 100 tests and it wouldn't necessarily mean you actually didn't have COVID. It's why we keep seeing these events where everyone has to test still turn into spreading events, like the recent Gridiron Club dinner in Washington.
Testing is certainly better than nothing. It will catch a lot of people who are positive. It doesn't mean you don't have it in any definitive way. It's only lowering the odds, not ruling them out. And not in one of those 99/1% lowering the odds sort of ways, but more in a 60/40% sort of way.
Combine testing and vaccination and you start getting to a pretty good place. Just testing, definitely better than nothing but still not that great.
It's your family and what they're doing is completely unreasonable on a number of levels. Stand your ground or they'll just keep not respecting boundaries.
let me guess, both parties just move on like nothing is wrong and yall pretend to be happy around each other?
I think this is important too. It isn't just this issue. This is them not respecting ops boundaries. And it's important that that's a them problem. Not an op problem.
I guess I don't know what it's like to have crazy grandparents. Because if it were me, married with a 7 year old daughter, I want her grands and my grands to be in her life as much as possible. A lot of my grandparents have already passed away, and my grandmother, who turned 80 recently, is vaccinated and boosted.
But if she wasn't, I'd just test her and move on. We have precious little time on this Earth and I'd like to make the most of it by not "punishing" my old ass grandparents. But everyone's family is different and only they can navigate that situation.
I wish captive the best and hope his grands fucking get over it and get the vaccine.
Not wanting to punish someone does little to avoid the spread of a deadly disease, or keep your family safe.
I also think the framing you're using is really disingenuous. OP isn't punishing them, they're punishing themselves. The OP has set a boundary, a completely reasonable and easy to meet one. They could meet that boundary any time they choose, quickly and easily. That they won't do so is no one but their own fault.
Call it what you want. To me, to say no after two negative tests feels like a punishment for not getting the vaccine.
how do you know they'd be willing to get two negative tests?
just for some context, they used to have season tickets to the Astros, last year after they said fans will be allowed back in, but with masks on. My mom said "well im just gonna sit with a diet coke the whole time so i dont have to wear my mask"
I don't know if they'd be willing. It wasn't offered to them, right? I doubt they'd do it after that context (wow) but it's fully putting the ball in their court.
Are they even pleasant to be around?
Well are they? No one knows anything about the situation other than what you've told us.
Have they refused to get tested? If so, I'd say that's pretty much the end of it.
yes.
but they have little interaction with my kids. Like they want them to come over and be in their house, but their house is filled with antiques and so the kids have to be careful around everything. They dont have activities planned to do anything.
In fact its rather annoying, cause they now live on a golf course so you can step outside the back and within 70 or so feet you're literally on a fairway.
It's sad to see people dismissing COVID with " oh, we have the least death since x!!" like.....it stil is a fucking pandemic!!!
an average of 488 deaths per day is still fucking high.
an average of 488 deaths per day is still fucking high.
At least there's that.
That sounds annoying. Another issue on top of this. Having no activities is one thing, but the golf course is worrying. I'd almost be more concerned about this… gotta make the kids wear helmets out there.
makes good sense.
you've done the right thing OP.
also wondering about the people here who seem concerned with the notion of "punishing" the grandparents. there are a million different examples in most cultures of irresponsible behaviors having social consequences. not to mention that a more organized and concerted effort to punish unvaccinated people in the first place might have saved hundreds of thousands of lives.
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I agree with you and honestly respect that email was I honestly would have probably been a little bit more emotional and not as concise.
I don't have kids but I'm close with a cousin of mine who is a custody of a couple of my second cousins and lately one of them got sick so they've been very protective since then.
My mother insist on trying to visit but he is thoughtfully anti-vax and give her things like colloidal silver and Bull shit like that. Both myself and my cousin have told her no uncertain terms that there would be no way and my cousin who's a bit more hot headed than I actually went a little bit more personal with her, but I honestly understand.
I don't have kids but I'm close with a cousin of mine who is a custody of a couple of my second cousins and lately one of them got sick so they've been very protective since then.
My mother insist on trying to visit but he is thoughtfully anti-vax and give her things like colloidal silver and Bull shit like that. Both myself and my cousin have told her no uncertain terms that there would be no way and my cousin who's a bit more hot headed than I actually went a little bit more personal with her, but I honestly understand.
Good for you OP. Everyone has a level of safety they are willing to accept, and while my wife and I don't have children, we have the same philosophy. My wife's family is largely anti-vax, conspiracy theory nutjobs. My brother-in-law's wife died of COVID on New Years' Day this year (the whole family got it, she got it the worst), and he still won't get the vaccine (there was a short period after her death where he seemed to be considering it, but that has since gone by the wayside). I had to work, so I couldn't go, but my wife refused to attend her "celebration of life" ceremony because they were all unvaccinated and she didn't want to even risk the low chance of catching it or, god forbid, passing it on to someone else.
It's your kids, your house, your rules.
It's your kids, your house, your rules.