So we all know that Palpatine was playing literally everyone all the time to get to the top and stay there, but it's strange exactly how much of that time was spent trolling Vader. And I don't mean just to turn him to the dark side, but all purely to piss him off
First he's sticking Vader in a suit that doesn't fit right, is old, and apparently beeps for no reason. Then when he asks about his wife he's straight up telling him "Nah man, your wife and kids are dead. Better get pissed about it, buddy."
Then he's like "Hey man, want a ship? Here's your wife's. Remember? That one you murdered?"
Then Vader wants a planet and Palpatine tells him it's gotta be one that pisses him off (because why would you ever want to relax, Vader? What are you, a weak-ass punk?), so obviously he goes with Mustafar
Fast forward some time later after the first Death Star blows up. Vader starts getting upset because Palpatine isn't returning his calls, so he goes on a little adventure to find out what's going on. Lo and behold, Palpatine's been having some new Vaders made
Vader demands to know what the fuck is up, and Palpatine doesn't even care
For 20 years. He's basically been training replacements since Vader showed up.
Cut to Empire Strikes Back where Palpatine reveals "Nah man your kid's been alive this entire time. Go kill him." That's probably gotta be a lot to take in for Vader, don't you think? Well no time to think about that because now his kid's kicking his ass in Return of the Jedi. How does Palpatine react to this? "Good job Luke, kill your dad." We can't see Vader's reaction under the helmet but it's probably gotta be something like
Luke, not being nuts, says no. Palpatine now fully expects Vader to stand there and watch him electrocute his son to death. Vader, by now having hit his trolling breaking point, chucks that asshole down a hole.
But that wasn't it. Palpatine had the greatest troll left in the event of his death
"Hey, if I die, just burn it all down. All of it. Fuck all y'all."
And then that asshole ain't even dead
And let's not even get started on what he did to poor Maul
Is Palpatine quite possibly the largest troll in fiction?
First he's sticking Vader in a suit that doesn't fit right, is old, and apparently beeps for no reason. Then when he asks about his wife he's straight up telling him "Nah man, your wife and kids are dead. Better get pissed about it, buddy."
Then he's like "Hey man, want a ship? Here's your wife's. Remember? That one you murdered?"
Then Vader wants a planet and Palpatine tells him it's gotta be one that pisses him off (because why would you ever want to relax, Vader? What are you, a weak-ass punk?), so obviously he goes with Mustafar
Fast forward some time later after the first Death Star blows up. Vader starts getting upset because Palpatine isn't returning his calls, so he goes on a little adventure to find out what's going on. Lo and behold, Palpatine's been having some new Vaders made
Vader demands to know what the fuck is up, and Palpatine doesn't even care
For 20 years. He's basically been training replacements since Vader showed up.
Cut to Empire Strikes Back where Palpatine reveals "Nah man your kid's been alive this entire time. Go kill him." That's probably gotta be a lot to take in for Vader, don't you think? Well no time to think about that because now his kid's kicking his ass in Return of the Jedi. How does Palpatine react to this? "Good job Luke, kill your dad." We can't see Vader's reaction under the helmet but it's probably gotta be something like
Luke, not being nuts, says no. Palpatine now fully expects Vader to stand there and watch him electrocute his son to death. Vader, by now having hit his trolling breaking point, chucks that asshole down a hole.
But that wasn't it. Palpatine had the greatest troll left in the event of his death
"Hey, if I die, just burn it all down. All of it. Fuck all y'all."
And then that asshole ain't even dead
And let's not even get started on what he did to poor Maul
Is Palpatine quite possibly the largest troll in fiction?
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