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'Silicon Valley' star Thomas Middleditch says swinging 'saved' his marriage (Update: They've seperated)

Paquete_PT

Paquete_PT

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
5,395
Nothing against swinging and I believe people and couples are free to fo whatever the hell they want but this guy talks like a creep and the way this interview went is very fishy. It does indeed sound like he made her an ultimatum and was a jackass about it. "Darling, I need to fuck other women in order to save our marriage".
But maybe is just the wording and she loves swinging, it's a weird thing to discuss after the wedding
 
Gaf Zombie

Gaf Zombie

The Fallen
Dec 13, 2017
2,239
More power to them and I genuinely wish them the best. I just feel that open relationships hardly ever work out in the long term.

Cheating on the other hand...that shit can save marriages.
 
Doomguy Fieri

Doomguy Fieri

Member
Nov 3, 2017
5,297
The article is like that twitter joke.

No one:

Absolutely no one:

Not one single soul:

Thomas Silicon Valley: swinging saved my marriage. it's incredible the number of women that want nothing more than casual sex with me. my wife complains about it sometimes but we make it work.
 
Darkstar0155

Darkstar0155

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,171
Some people in this thread need to seriously grow up and realize not every relationship is the same, and others don't place such a emotional connection on sex.

Some people CAN completely separate emotions from sex. And this is usually people who have had a good amount of sex so its not as "special" anymore and its more just a physical thing..

I've been in a O.R. before with no issues (reason it didn't work had nothing to do with the sex), and ive been with MANY couples that are swingers with just as strong marriages as non-swingers.

OT, the way the dude says it is a little sleazy, but its hard to really get a good grasp on their relationship from a small playboy article where its only him being interviewed.
 
Truly Gargantuan

Truly Gargantuan

Still doesn't have a tag :'(
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
8,034
Buncha relationship experts in here telling a man his marriage ain't gunna work based upon a single article smh.
 

Deleted member 4321

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
895
"We have different speeds, and we argue over it constantly, but it's better than feeling unheard and alone and that you have to scurry in the shadows," he said. "By the way, it's now called being 'part of the lifestyle.' The term swinging is old."
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Yeah, get to fuck other people without having to deal with the guilt or hassle of cheating. What a victim he was before.
 
Krauser Kat

Krauser Kat

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,720
he phrased things weird but they probably had a longer discussion about being open and its challenges and the rules they live by. Differing libidos is a hell hole.
 
Nappuccino

Nappuccino

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
13,114
El Bombastico said:
"Honey, you're the love of my life and I want to spend the rest of our lives together...

...BUT, I really wanna fuck that hot bride's maid over there, too! Whaddaya say to a compromise?"
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Her: "Great, because your father in-law has always piqued my interest, and I didn't want to be the first to say something . . ."
The priest: "I've never heard vows quite like those before."
 

Ghost_Protocol

Member
Dec 1, 2017
109
Doomguy Fieri said:
The article is like that twitter joke.

No one:

Absolutely no one:

Not one single soul:

Thomas Silicon Valley: swinging saved my marriage. it's incredible the number of women that want nothing more than casual sex with me. my wife complains about it sometimes but we make it work.
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Click to shrink...

Longer excerpts from the article are out there and he only sounds worse with additional context. He seems to really think he was doing his wife a favor by not cheating on her and instead "offering" the swinging compromise. What a guy.
 
LGHT_TRSN

LGHT_TRSN

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,210
Yeah, this idea that monogamy is the only "real" way to have a marriage is such an outdated concept that traces back to patriarchal power over women's bodies. Let's be real, marriage never stopped men from fucking around. It was all about preventing your wife from fucking around.

If you go back to the roots of our species, people weren't monogamous. They fucked around. It's how you increase genetic diversity/health. Children were raised by the group as a collective because group survival was more important than the individual. It's only when we as a society started isolating ourselves that monogamy became important for woman, because there was nobody to help raise a child if the man ran off with another woman.

Acknowledging our physiological, deeply-rooted human desires can be very healthy...if you have the right partner, which does NOT seem to be the case in this situation.
 
Dixie Flatline

Dixie Flatline

alt account
Banned
Sep 4, 2019
1,892
New Orleans
subpar spatula said:
using this as a gateway to find someone better. back pocket. hmm. so she is purposely staying in a relationship she wants out, and using it as a way to get someone better? how does staying in this relationship get someone better?

like, you're not making a whole lotta sense with this defense.
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It's a common phrase in the dating "world." Here's the urban dictionary for it. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=In+my+pocket&amp=true

If you still think it means gold-digging, not sure what to tell you.
 
LuigiMario

LuigiMario

Member
Oct 28, 2017
3,941
I think it's cool to have a minor celebrity speak openly about a poly lifestyle warts and all. Probably not the most eloquently he could have put it, but I want this type of thing to be more normalized and less "taboo"
 

Deleted member 17092

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
20,360
Paquete_PT said:
Nothing against swinging and I believe people and couples are free to fo whatever the hell they want but this guy talks like a creep and the way this interview went is very fishy. It does indeed sound like he made her an ultimatum and was a jackass about it. "Darling, I need to fuck other women in order to save our marriage".
But maybe is just the wording and she loves swinging, it's a weird thing to discuss after the wedding
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Eh, I don't really think it's that weird. People think the whole monogamy thing is what they should do because its what everyone else does but after years of fucking the same person they figure out it isn't. Like I'd imagine that's how it happens pretty often.

I don't think he phrased it well especially if that's literally verbatim how he talked about it with his wife, but I would think this scenario is actually probably pretty common, at least for married swingers.

It comes up, the feeling is either mutual or it isn't, and it goes from there.
 
Border

Border

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
14,859
Doomguy Fieri said:
The article is like that twitter joke.

No one:

Absolutely no one:

Not one single soul:

Thomas Silicon Valley: swinging saved my marriage. it's incredible the number of women that want nothing more than casual sex with me. my wife complains about it sometimes but we make it work.
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Except that a Playboy Interviewer asked him point blank about his involvement with swinging?
 
ElectricBlanketFire

ElectricBlanketFire

What year is this?
Member
Oct 25, 2017
31,944
Who has time for swinging? My wife and I barely have enough energy to stay up until 10 and watch Kitchen Nightmares with our poke bowls on an average day.
 
subpar spatula

subpar spatula

Refuses to Wash his Ass
Banned
Oct 26, 2017
22,187
Dixie Flatline said:
It's a common phrase in the dating "world." Here's the urban dictionary for it. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=In+my+pocket&amp=true

If you still think it means gold-digging, not sure what to tell you.
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You keep trying to back peddle and make it something else. You said she was using this as a gateway to something better. How? How does her being in a relationship she doesn't want to be in lead to someone better? Why doesn't she leave? Why keep him in her pocket if she doesn't want him anymore? You know these answers but you are conveniently side stepping because you know you fucked up your statement. It's too obvious and your squirming is kind of awkward.
 
Pwnz

Pwnz

Member
Oct 28, 2017
14,279
Places
I have friends that are swingers. They are happy at a baseline in the relationship, the way the article reads this couple is not.
 
Dixie Flatline

Dixie Flatline

alt account
Banned
Sep 4, 2019
1,892
New Orleans
subpar spatula said:
You keep trying to back peddle and make it something else. You said she was using this as a gateway to something better. How? How does her being in a relationship she doesn't want to be in lead to someone better? Why doesn't she leave? Why keep him in her pocket if she doesn't want him anymore? You know these answers but you are conveniently side stepping because you know you fucked up your statement. It's too obvious and your squirming is kind of awkward.
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No I'm not? You said I claimed she was gold digging. I didn't. Honestly, it seems like you misinterpreted "in her pocket" as gold-digging instead of its commonly known meaning and now you don't want to address that after I showed you that's not what it means.
 
mnk

mnk

Member
Nov 11, 2017
6,412
Well now that this is out and most people seem to be judging the dude and presuming he pressured his wife into it, maybe she'll feel like she needs to clear the air to defend him and we'll have the other side of the story too.
 
Biske

Biske

Member
Nov 11, 2017
8,290
brokeastronaut said:
Dude speak for yourself.
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Dont get me wrong, does it work out that way for some people, maybe a lot of people? Sure. The majority of marriages? Fuck no. There is a reason there are so many unhappy marriages, divorces, cheating etc.

This idea that our dumbasses have successfully picked the one person who's gonna do it for us our whole life and never want or dream of something more or different is a farce.

Billions of people on this planet and we have access to view and interact with a good fraction of that. If we are gonna say we are actually satisfied with one person and dont day dream, dream, fantasize about others, its bullshit. It's an unrealistic inhumane standard to try and pretend.

Porn is a thing for a reason.
 
subpar spatula

subpar spatula

Refuses to Wash his Ass
Banned
Oct 26, 2017
22,187
Dixie Flatline said:
No I'm not? You said I claimed she was gold digging. I didn't. Honestly, it seems like you misinterpreted "in her pocket" as gold-digging instead of its commonly known meaning and now you don't want to address that after I showed you that's not what it means.
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You literally bring up a very suspect statement with very suspect wording about a woman in a relationship in a thread about the husband wanting to swing. Yeah. You sure just meant something else.

Like, you even say she is using this as a gateway to something better. That implies she is trying to work her way up the social and economic ladder through relationships. That she keeps him in her back pocket until that better relationship happens (a very common stereotype about women who enter relationships for financial and status reasons). Like, You say this what being in pocket means:

Dixie Flatline said:
Um, not that? Having someone in your pocket means you're holding onto them as a backup in case your plans don't work out. It's a common tactic for one-sided relationship.
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Why the living fuck would someone be in a bad relationship but keep them in their backpocket until something better comes along? Considering your chosen words, it's very evident what you meant. You got caught. Accept it.
 
Mr Spasiba

Mr Spasiba

Banned
Oct 26, 2017
1,779
I'm no expert but I've seen open relationships that work and ones that don't, and the way he's talking about it here doesn't make it seem like the healthiest implementation of the concept.
 

Deleted member 36578

Dec 21, 2017
26,561
Biske said:
Dont get me wrong, does it work out that way for some people, maybe a lot of people? Sure. The majority of marriages? Fuck no. There is a reason there are so many unhappy marriages, divorces, cheating etc.

This idea that our dumbasses have successfully picked the one person who's gonna do it for us our whole life and never want or dream of something more or different is a farce.

Billions of people on this planet and we have access to view and interact with a good fraction of that. If we are gonna say we are actually satisfied with one person and dont day dream, dream, fantasize about others, its bullshit. It's an unrealistic inhumane standard to try and pretend.

Porn is a thing for a reason.
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It's not unrealistic at all. The thought of being with anyone other than my partner is repulsive. Again, don't lump everyone into some weird vision you have. Everyone is different at all varying levels and to call monogamy an inhumane standard is absolutely insane. If it doesn't work for you then by all means say that. Not everyone is like you.
 
CitizenVectron

CitizenVectron

Member
Oct 27, 2017
5,435
Conal said:
I'm all for open relationships but the way he went about it sucks and she seems much less happy about it than is framed in the article with the term 'it saved our marriage'.

To be honest the guy comes off as a massive dick who's patting himself on the back for not cheating on his wife.
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Yeah, it seems that it saved his marriage in the sense that he would have left her if he wasn't able to sleep with other people, or she didn't have sex with him more often (which may not be possible due to the schedules of being an actor).
 
Dixie Flatline

Dixie Flatline

alt account
Banned
Sep 4, 2019
1,892
New Orleans
subpar spatula said:
You literally bring up a very suspect statement with very suspect wording about a woman in a relationship in a thread about the husband wanting to swing. Yeah. You sure just meant something else.

Like, you even say she is using this as a gateway to something better. That implies she is trying to work her way up the social and economic ladder through relationships. That she keeps him in her back pocket until that better relationship happens (a very common stereotype about women who enter relationships for financial and status reasons). Like, You say this what being in pocket means:



Why the living fuck would someone be in a bad relationship but keep them in their backpocket until something better comes along? Considering your chosen words, it's very evident what you meant. You got caught. Accept it.
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No, I wasn't caught? You misinterpreted "in my pocket" for gold-digging. Now you're brushing that aside and claiming when I said "looking for something better" that I meant gold-digging. "Looking for something" better doesn't mean gold-digging.

You misinterpreted a phrase and instead of just saying "oh sorry thought that meant something else", you're seeking other things I've said attempting to link it to meaning gold digger.

And it seems like you have a problem with the practice of "in my pocket" more-so than with me.
 
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