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NYPD on Twitter: "We regret to inform that Desmond Amofah aka Etika has been found deceased." (See guidelines before posting)
- Thread starter JB2448
- Start date
Like it or not, that thread was representative of this community.
I doubt you'll find a significant crossover for many threads on this website, due to how large it is. Doesn't change the fact that the response to Etika's suicide was absolutely representative of ResetEra, especially since people weren't punished for their cruelty.
Pretending to argue otherwise will just perpetuate the problem.
Fine, I'll be the jackass edgelord who points out the issue:
Era had no shortage of topics where we talked about Era's empathy problem (usually towards women and minority issues)
We had various members leave this site due to the frustration of it.
I constantly bitch about it every 5th post of mine.
So why are we NOW saying that Era needs to take a look at itself because trolls, with a vendetta, are using a man's death to go "Nyah Nyah, you're not all that"
Where was this call to sympathy for Era members who left?
Liam's not arguing in good faith. Boogie isn't arguing in good faith.
Era had no shortage of topics where we talked about Era's empathy problem (usually towards women and minority issues)
We had various members leave this site due to the frustration of it.
I constantly bitch about it every 5th post of mine.
So why are we NOW saying that Era needs to take a look at itself because trolls, with a vendetta, are using a man's death to go "Nyah Nyah, you're not all that"
Where was this call to sympathy for Era members who left?
Liam's not arguing in good faith. Boogie isn't arguing in good faith.
I suspect they've taken that stance with this thread, which is why it's still up despite this discussion being what it is.
They may not have started off with that stance, but it's hard to imagine that it's not the one they're taking now, at this second.
RIP. Really sad to hear this has happened. Depression is serious and no one should have to go through that pain.
Very good post. That's what annoys me the most about "waah stop generalizing all men" posts trying to hijack discussions on why toxic masculinity is incredibly harmful to men themselves in particular. There is a genuine and educational debate to be had but we rarely if ever get to that point because threads (heck, debates in society at large as well) devolve into that garbage and create an extremely toxic space. The flip side is if those dismissive attitudes were instead taken at face value and welcomed they would instantly turn on avoiding self-reflection and deflecting the subject at hand as seen on pretty much every other large gaming forum. Honestly not sure what can be done aside from even stricter moderation which apparently lots of people already feel is too strict? I dunno.
Anyway, men need help. Unfortunately, most of us are doing pretty much what Etika did and shutting ourselves off from others in order to not appear as vulnerable. It's just incredibly sad, honestly.
...Have you seen the threads on feminism on here? There is no way to make the post you just made if you have. Letting concern trolls hijack every conversation does not equate to an open discussion. I wish it did, but it really doesn't and I've seen it happen so, so many times. For all it's faults, this is the only large gaming forum that comes even close to productive debates about those subjects precisely because it locks down trolling to a decent extent.
Like I've already said, I agree with you that there should be a platform for this issue being discussed in good faith, and I'm pretty sure the mods agree? The problem is how to implement it while avoiding the former. It seems like we can't have both and I understand why.
You know, I could offer some examples, but that would be calling out.
I am going to say that it's fairly easy to go into the [linked thread](https://www.resetera.com/threads/etika-nintendo-gamer-youtuber-just-made-an-apology-video-that-seems-to-be-very-suicidal.124467/), click on the post history of users and look who posted here. You might be surprised about the kind of tunes some fly in each of the threads.
I see why you would have an issue with that but it's not like that was the whole point of my post. It was a sidenote, nothing more. Regardless I apologize to you and anyone that I may offended.
Because it's something most people can't afford to ignore anymore.
My heart just sank. I hope his family gets through this ok. RIP, I hope he's at peace with whatever religion/God he believed in.
User Banned (3 days) Off site drama, inappropriate comment in a sensitive thread.
Also, since they wanna watch us since they have nothing better to do:
Fuck you NeoGAF
Fuck you Evilore you dork boy sexual predator
I'm glad you permabanned me after calling your ass out. Just remember no matter how shitty Era gets, at least we aren't your garbage asses.
Fuck you NeoGAF
Fuck you Evilore you dork boy sexual predator
I'm glad you permabanned me after calling your ass out. Just remember no matter how shitty Era gets, at least we aren't your garbage asses.
Re Etika: I only really became aware of him a year or so ago, but I loved his reaction videos. His passion for gaming reminded me of a time when I was truly excited about following this industry. In a very cynical world, this lad was a shining light, and I will certainly miss him, his enthusiasm and his energy. I hope wherever he is now, he's finally at peace.
Re Resetera: The simple fact of the matter is that nothing will change as long as it continues to be the case that those posting in good faith and those in bad faith are treated as equals. A good example is the recent MatPat thread. It's fine for people not to like MatPat, it's fine to disagree with what he says, it if you're going into a thread jsut to type things that basically come down to "lol fuck MatPat" then what's the fucking point? The fact that moderators have continued to allow so much drive by shit posting, despite it being very clearly against the TOS, is exactly why people think that if they frame their posts in just the right way, they can get away with posting anything. The majority of those posts in the old Etika thread could all be seen as on topic, but they were so obviously done in bad faith to either come off as some sort of edge lord or get a rise out of others that it should have been really obvious that they needed to be nipped in the bud.
I don't doubt moderating forum like this is tough, but not talking about this sort of stuff now whilst it's raw is a bit like the old "thoughts and prayers" after yet another perfectly preventable massacre.
Re Resetera: The simple fact of the matter is that nothing will change as long as it continues to be the case that those posting in good faith and those in bad faith are treated as equals. A good example is the recent MatPat thread. It's fine for people not to like MatPat, it's fine to disagree with what he says, it if you're going into a thread jsut to type things that basically come down to "lol fuck MatPat" then what's the fucking point? The fact that moderators have continued to allow so much drive by shit posting, despite it being very clearly against the TOS, is exactly why people think that if they frame their posts in just the right way, they can get away with posting anything. The majority of those posts in the old Etika thread could all be seen as on topic, but they were so obviously done in bad faith to either come off as some sort of edge lord or get a rise out of others that it should have been really obvious that they needed to be nipped in the bud.
I don't doubt moderating forum like this is tough, but not talking about this sort of stuff now whilst it's raw is a bit like the old "thoughts and prayers" after yet another perfectly preventable massacre.
Fuck this fucking sucks. He was always so energetic, always so hype for Smash and other shit. RIP. Really sucks when someone chooses suicide. A lot of us probably know how it feels to be on a brink, It fucking sucks and I was really hoping he wouldn't be gone, and would have gotten the help he needed. Fuck.
I wish they would split the discussions if that were the case. As people say, this is after all the thread about the sad death of a person and the fact that we have to discuss here if we want to discuss at all is saddening.
He clearly gave a damn about how people reacted to his outbursts online. The man lived on the internet, it clearly got to him. Fuck the people making memes out of his struggle. Fuck the people "cancelling" him. Fuck all of this.
ERA is the most empathetic board on the internet. But we can always do better. Inevitably there have been failures — the way those cruel mobs were allowed to continue unchecked being one failure that may have directly or indirectly contributed to Etika's death. But we can learn from that by having a discussion about how we do things here. We won't improve if we act like we're already the best.
It was representative of how this website and it's members treat homophobia, racism, etc., NOT how this website treats mental illness. It would not be a reach to guess that the reason many people flock to this website in the first place is due to having first hand experience with what was being said, and for many, they didn't take the context of mental illness seriously enough to see it as a call for help or an episode caused by a legitimate mental illness that wasn't being treated as much as it could've, (a failing on multiple avenues that Desmond could've gone for for help considering US laws in relation to mental illness).
Too many are treating this as a black and white situation when it's probably the most nuanced "controversy" in the site's history.
I agree but it is something that a lot of people go through and will continue to do so. Mental health issues are not going to go away, if anything it's something coming up more now than any other time. Seeing it so much with people very close to me or through people I know of. It's terrible and everywhere.
I was wearing one of his "Joycon boyz" shirt for the Nintendo E3's Direct this year. I'll keep wearing it for Nintendo Directs.
Damn, I'll miss him. Poor dude.
A few hours ago I just posted a "RIP man" because I didn't knew what to say, horrible news. It's just terrifiying, to think that some people are enduring this pain, that some people just look over a bridge and decide to put and end to his own life. No one deserve to feel this way. At any age it's a tragedy, but still, he was so young...
Can't imagine how his mom must be feeling right now. Hope that all his family and friends will be strong.
Damn, I'll miss him. Poor dude.
A few hours ago I just posted a "RIP man" because I didn't knew what to say, horrible news. It's just terrifiying, to think that some people are enduring this pain, that some people just look over a bridge and decide to put and end to his own life. No one deserve to feel this way. At any age it's a tragedy, but still, he was so young...
Can't imagine how his mom must be feeling right now. Hope that all his family and friends will be strong.
I won't link it but it's interesting how in the previous thread the first page is literally people clamouring over each other to shit on a suicidal man, as if it's a competition.
Respect to Etika, can't even begin to imagine the suffering he went through.
Respect to Etika, can't even begin to imagine the suffering he went through.
I just think Era could do with allowing a bit of nuance in terms of moderating discussions, where now a "correct" view is decided and anything going against that is bannable.
Sometimes there's a correct view, a correctish view, a total grey area, a wrongish view, and a wrong view.
I imagine that's pretty hard to moderate though.
Sometimes there's a correct view, a correctish view, a total grey area, a wrongish view, and a wrong view.
I imagine that's pretty hard to moderate though.
About to have tears.
Finally off work and home and it's hitting like bricks. RIP to the young black man Desmond. No matter the struggles he carried, he still attempted to maintain his positivity. Pure genuine hype with the shadow of pure dark depression. The internet cheered his demise. And now that he is at rest, now, is where the internet begans to stop and think...somewhat. Life is lost and the support that was originally dulled by thread locks and assumptions is now full force.....somewhat... But the bans that I haven't seen on here is telling. The rebuke that is met with a pat on the shoulder rebutal is telling. The promise to do better only once the brother is lost for 3 days, is telling. But my thoughts are not worthy of expression today.
RIP to the young black man Desmond. Rest now.
Finally off work and home and it's hitting like bricks. RIP to the young black man Desmond. No matter the struggles he carried, he still attempted to maintain his positivity. Pure genuine hype with the shadow of pure dark depression. The internet cheered his demise. And now that he is at rest, now, is where the internet begans to stop and think...somewhat. Life is lost and the support that was originally dulled by thread locks and assumptions is now full force.....somewhat... But the bans that I haven't seen on here is telling. The rebuke that is met with a pat on the shoulder rebutal is telling. The promise to do better only once the brother is lost for 3 days, is telling. But my thoughts are not worthy of expression today.
RIP to the young black man Desmond. Rest now.
I have a big case of depression. Not sure how bad it is cause I don't have insurance to help me pay for it and get help, but I do know that I have it cause it was confirmed a while ago.
And while I don't always post like many of you do here, this site helps me out so much with dealing with it. I've been with Era a month or two after it broke off from GAF and honestly it's helped me out a lot. We may disagree a lot on things and sometimes we argue, but just seeing people post, seeing some hilarious responses, and knowing more about daily life apart from games has really done a lot for me. I lurk half the time because I don't know what to say, but I really do love it here.
And even though we may not always get along like I mentioned earlier, I love you all. And I really hope you all know that no matter what problem you have, know that someone really does care for you. Another member here said it better earlier (can't find the post), but you're all awesome people. And I hope that we continue to try to get along.
And once again, RIP Etika. Really man. Rest in peace. I can't imagine what your family must be feeling right now but I hope they also know that lots of people are with them mourning. And I hope you are finally able to rest from your depression. I hope for that day for me too!
And while I don't always post like many of you do here, this site helps me out so much with dealing with it. I've been with Era a month or two after it broke off from GAF and honestly it's helped me out a lot. We may disagree a lot on things and sometimes we argue, but just seeing people post, seeing some hilarious responses, and knowing more about daily life apart from games has really done a lot for me. I lurk half the time because I don't know what to say, but I really do love it here.
And even though we may not always get along like I mentioned earlier, I love you all. And I really hope you all know that no matter what problem you have, know that someone really does care for you. Another member here said it better earlier (can't find the post), but you're all awesome people. And I hope that we continue to try to get along.
And once again, RIP Etika. Really man. Rest in peace. I can't imagine what your family must be feeling right now but I hope they also know that lots of people are with them mourning. And I hope you are finally able to rest from your depression. I hope for that day for me too!
I wasn't even a fan of his or whatever but I'm heartbroken. Fucking tragic. He needed help but it all feels so hopeless and bleak as a bystander. Like there really is no stopping someone that far gone. Somebody that committed. Like once they reach a certain point they know exactly what to say, when to say it and who to say it to. To push the exact people they need completely out. There might be "red flags" or maybe there won't.
I'm terrified thinking of my friends with depression. I hope I can be there for them but I've never felt so powerless and useless. Condolences to his family and friends who are feeling this now x1000. I'm so sorry.
These posts hit the nail on the head — well said. Dismissing change and constructive discourse as impossibilities, and shuffling all website concerns off-site (or derailed tertiary threads like this), is a self-fulfilling prophecy of impotence.
ResetEra was founded on communal good will, in belief in our capacity to do the right thing, and in transparency. Eschewing those leaves us where, exactly? If we can't talk about things openly for the betterment of our community — for fear of trolls, of all things — how do we change?
Relegating constructively critique to behind close doors, in private one-on-one PMs or official emails, goes against the core notion of this place being a community.
Absolutely. I cried my eyes out watching that video because I've been there, but luckily had incredible friends and family that have went above and beyond dealing with my bullshit that protected me and pressured me to get help. Also your takes on masculinity are incredibly spot on for what I went through. It's incredibly hard to make yourself vulnerable and to appear so weak. Excellent post.
No, she's fine. Trying to punish her cuz she didn't take your side. Whatever.
Man that video was hard to watch.. I never really knew he guy,the only time I saw him was from the Direct reaction videos but still,so sad it had to end like this. He clearly was struggling and may have been saved with the right professional help.
I checked out of following him when he torched his youtube account but I was wrong to assume it was just a show to get his fans to donate. He really did need help and unfortunately the combination of lack of resources and the pressure to not take help got to him.
I think a lot of people here could do to take a little while and understand the context behind actions. Like I remember a large reason a lot of people here on ERA hated him was because he dropped the f-word and said a bunch of bigoted shit during one of his public mental breakdowns - that's obviously a horrible thing to do, but the man was also having a massive crisis of mental health while also having access to an incredibly popular Twitter account, a very unfortunate combination. He obviously wasn't in his right mind and he should have been forgiven, because in cases like that, it's more important to make sure that the person has the help and support they need first, and to talk with them about the actions they took later.
It was pretty disheartening to see posts writing off Etika's last video based on that. It's shortsighted and almost dehumanizing. I hope, at the very least, what happened today will help people better navigate the crossroads between mental health, the elevated position of internet icons (a place of power and visibility we can't even come close to being able to relate to), and the context behind actions taken during times of mental distress. I think we can do that.
It was pretty disheartening to see posts writing off Etika's last video based on that. It's shortsighted and almost dehumanizing. I hope, at the very least, what happened today will help people better navigate the crossroads between mental health, the elevated position of internet icons (a place of power and visibility we can't even come close to being able to relate to), and the context behind actions taken during times of mental distress. I think we can do that.
Totally agree. I think what it comes down to is that debates are largely a bad format for discussing social problems, save for a few very formal, usually written styles like dialectical analysis, scientific articles, etc. that most people wouldn't recognize as a debate. Because the decisions we make concerning these topics should never come down to who speaks more confidently or gets in more zingers, but they often do.
And none of them even got a ban.
One person even posted "No one cares". Like fucking hell.
Why are treating it like its mutually exclusive? ResetEra being a safe space for minorities doesn't give those same people carte blanche not to treat people who are suffering from mental illness with human decency. I also emphatically disagree with your assertion that Desmond "could've" gone for help, considering his mental illness has altered his judgment to the point where he could not properly get the help he needed on his own + there was nobody around to give him the proper treatment he needed either (his stays at the mental health clinics were pretty much a catch and release)
The people saying ResetEra is garbage are. But the people who are arguing like myself, Chariot, Dusk Golem (a mod) and others absolutely are not.
You're not giving the people in this thread enough credit.
I have mixed feelings about this post.
For one I believe cutting off a mentally ill person's income and the way they earn their living, at least in a vacuum, is likely to exacerbate their condition than it is to help them. Having said that, I do agree that being a public figure the way he was probably greatly contributed to worsening of his condition as well. So there's a conflict there at least, is all I meant. I understand the inclination to believe that supporting what looked to be a public meltdown was unhelpful.
In regards to the first quoted post - I definitely agree as someone who also suffers from very severe mental illnesses and disorders, we still are responsible for our actions and how we effect people. I wholly reject the idea, however, that offensive behavior like Etika engaged in can't be attributed to mental illness, because to be blunt, it absolutely can. If you are a person who has also had breakdowns like you said (and like I have), then you understand, sometimes you *cannot* be cognizant, sometimes you *do not* have control and there is nothing you can do about it. That's a simplification of the complexity of his actions and the context that they occurred in, but I feel like I need to point that out at the very least.
Yeah it hits for me hard too because I have someone really close to me who had to go through that and I had to pull em out and they are way better now and got their life back on track. If people take it seriously and try to help you can really change these people lives, but so many just brush it off as jokes or whatever. When someone is saying some serious sounding shit, even if it's a joke, people should take it seriously. Sort it out later if it turns out to be not true, but people are there are hurting everyday and having one person give a fuck can sometimes change a lot.
I agree with everything you wrote 100% except the "cancelling" part to an extent. I guess some of it was malicious but my personal gut reaction (which I didn't express at the time because it wasn't my place to) was to not further enable his self-harm when it became apparent literally because it was the only way I could imagine being able to help him from where I sit. Like, I didn't want to cancel him, but I did want to cancel the culture surrounding him and turning his situation into the memes you describe. Seeing that stuff honestly just broke my heart. For all the shit I fucking hate in this world, I still hope there's a special place in hell for people knowingly acting as cheerleaders for someone spiraling out of control emotionally.
I've never really watched any of the guys material but damn, this is some way to go and an utter shame and tragedy. It's always hard when people feel like they need to escape through suicide, what they must be keeping inside must be harsh and a truly great struggle. I may not have known the guy, but he was still young and had his life ahead of him. I have no doubt that he will be missed my friends, family and fans. May he rest in peace.
Wow, YouTube is at it again trying to bury this video just like they did to the original. Absolutely disgusting.
Fuck YouTube. It will never be deleted forever.
Then where were these people during this topic that cause the OP to leave this site for awhile?
Again, this "shame on Era" movement is not in good faith.
Also keep in mind, the negative reaction from Etika in that other topic was partly because he was spouting racist/homophobic slurs. Of course, people would not give him the benefit of the doubt. (And before you try to go through my posts, odds are, I was one of people too)
At least you openly admit not giving a shit. Wish people had your honesty Mr. "I don't see what's wrong with how people reacted in that thread."
I don't think your stance is wrong but to act willfully ignorant and imply people over invested is kind of shitty. Lots of terrible things were said in that thread.
Just saw the "I'm Sorry" video for the first time today and damn it was hard to watch. I know I posted in the second thread when he had his Twitter outburst since it wasn't his first time, and thought he was just looking for attention to gain more subs. Hindsight it looks really bad since it was a cry for help. I don't know what else to say except for RIP. Condolences to his friends and family.
the saddest part of all this is that he probably used the youtube video to hold himself hostage to actually committing suicide. he has probably attempted/planned suicide before but always back out. due to the controversy his multiple periods of mental health outbursts - and subsequent denials and playing it off - i'm sure he posted the video in order to solidify his commitment to ending his own life. 'if i don't actually do this, everyone will be super angry at me again thinking i was joking and wanting attention, so i better do it'. i could not be right about it but i have read where people committing suicide start giving their stuff away or performing acts similar to 'making sure everything is settled'. for everyone saying the hospitals failed him, i agree and disagree. he had two trips to the psychiatric department of hospitals. both times, he left and - i assume - played off the whole thing. i am not saying this is his fault but one of the hardest aspects of mental health is getting help. the individual has to be willing to seek and receive help, which is not an easy thing to do.