Not well off/struggling-ERA, do you get salty at seeing other posters with nice things?

[Valkerion]

I get jealous when I see people post they bought a new house in a safe quiet neighborhood. Same with a good PC set up/work space.

Makes me wonder what life choices or opportunities they had to get to these places so early in life. The causal luxury car posts are meh though, I'm on the "theres no point in a consumer car that can hit 220 when the speed limits and in general most roads are not conducive to excessive speeds.

 

[Berserking-Guts]

Allow me to introduce you to Dan Ryckert OP.

 

[FUME5]

Not being "well-off" is no excuse for not working hard for the things you want in life.

Let me tell you a bit about myself. I currently work as a software engineer on a six-figure salary for one of the largest corporate IT firms in my country. I live in my own apartment, own every major console as well as a gaming PC, have no debts, and have plenty of money sitting in my savings account.

But would you like to know what else is true about me? I grew up in a dirt poor family where there was very little food and I was constantly hungry. I was physically and sexually abused repeatedly growing up as a child. I ended up homeless at the age of 17 as a result of the relentless abuse, and I was living on the streets for almost 2 years where I was again assaulted by druggies and other homeless people. It took me several more years to pull myself out of it, with almost no support from anyone else, and I still bear the physical and mental scars of all the shit I went through.

Everything that I now have, I had to earn through my own blood, sweat and tears. Nothing in life was ever handed to me, and I had to claw and scrape my way through literal hell to get to where I am today.

This is why I laugh every time any one of you starts whining and crying about your trivial first-world problems and how unfair you think your life is. The vast majority of you here have never experienced genuine hardship, and will never be able to comprehend what real unfairness is. As other have already mentioned, if you want things in life you have to work for them, no excuses. Stop wasting your time being jealous of what other people have, and start getting out there and doing something about it. If someone like me, who came from a background of nothing but suffering and misery can somehow find a way to succeed in life, then you have no excuse to be whining about how unfair life is. So get off your arse and work for the things you want. Period.

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I don't believe a single word of this shit. If you had lived those experiences you wouldn't be shitting on people, because you would know how powerless you are on the other side.

 

[capitalCORN]

Every time I see that Italian meal I feel furious that some people can afford delivery, where all I had for dinner was some sauteed peppercorns.

 

[zoukka]

There's good and bad kind of jealousy. The bad kind is where you think there is no justice in the world and you deserve that shit more than others. The good kind is where you think that it would be nice to have those things and you start working for them.

Accept the fact that you have zero clue how those people got where they are right now and what their current struggles (despite their fancy room and equipment) are. You will become a better person.

 

[Apathy]

I'm weird about this. I really don't covet what others have.

 

[sonnyboy]

My track coach taught me to always run my race, don't look to the other lanes... It'll f*ck your stride up. Someone who is ahead of you today, may be years behind you tomorrow. Just do the best you can, work as hard as you and avoid the BS as best you can.

 

[ultra bawl]

I don't believe a single word of this shit. If you had lived those experiences you wouldn't be shitting on people, because you would know how powerless you are on the other side.

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Nah, I believe it. I imagine it would be very easy to become callous towards others after struggling and succeeding, and it's not uncommon for people to think only their hardships are unique and genuine and that nobody else shares their experience or faces barriers in life. Lecturing others about their laziness and telling them their hardships don't count compared to your own inspirational bootstraps story is the ultimate ego boost - why be jealous of what others have when you can get high off of judging others for their failure to emulate your success?

 

[Gelf]

As long as them talking about it is not combined with poor shaming comments I don't really care how much cool stuff people have.

 

[Deleted member 11819]

I used to get a little jealous. The most important thing I learned in this social media age is to stop comlaring my private life to people's highlights.

Heck, you'd be surprised at just how many people are lying. I was recently at a birthday party and this one person there just looked like they were bored out of their mind, except when they were snap chatting. I was amazed at how animated and happy they were for 3-10 seconds and then sunk back down into boredom after they were done. It was all fake, just to show other people how much "fun" they were having and how good their life was.

 

[Thatonedice1]

I don't really focus on what other people have honestly.

 

[Dicer]

From someone that had some nice stuff and saw it all slip away...it's all just stuff in the end.

I literally only have a $25 phone as my link to the outside world, and well...it's not ideal but at least it's something. I've never been one that wants to be uber rich, just enough to cover my basic needs, but if you have it and want nice shit, more power to you.

 

[hipsterbodega]

The "tough love" stuff in a thread discussing a real human emotion feels kind of gross. "I grew up on the streets and now I have a six figure salary." lol what the hell. You can't drill sergeant the jealousy out of people.

I was very active in the "look what I bought" video game collecting circle on YouTube and I'd often feel a small pang of jealousy over other peoples' collections. Of course, folks with collections smaller than mine felt that way about me. Once I realized it was actually kind of really shitty chain, I stopped feeling jealous and started feeling content. Guilty too, actually, that I contributed to it. But it's a learning process.

 

[Masquerader]

I admit, I do get a little jealous of people with a house and a significant other. Doesn't affect much, though.

 

[Deleted member 32374]

I feel less envious of what people have as to their positions of personal success that I haven't achieved yet. I can t be distracted by self hatred.

Also, I don t pass judgement on what others suffer or their work ethic, I just don't think like that. I just think that they re more intelligent, better focused and more capable. I ve been trying to find my place all life and it never fucking ends. The worst isnt not knowing what you want to do It's finding it and not having the money/time/energy to pursue it and get were you want to go.

 

[acheron_xl]

I'm not so jealous of possessions. I'm jealous of the people that have life-enriching experiences.

 

[El Mariachi]

Do be OP. Most people bragging with their shit are miserable.

Why would someone happy with his life/possessions need validation from others? Think about it.

 

[RandomDazed]

i LOVE when i see people post pics of cool shit they have, or pics of awesome places they have been.

There are so many cool things i've picked up over the years and places i've been from having chats with people who have shared their joy.

Even if it's something you are not in a position to own / do right now, you can work towards it.

Achieving something you've worked hard to get feels great. It's normal to want to share that with others.

Remember that person has worked hard to get where they are so they are in a position to do cool shit or buy amazing stuff.

Don't shit on their parade because you feel jealous. It's not a reason to try and tear them down.

 

[Cien]

Can I ask something? What is your job?

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I work as a Junior Systems administrator at a school. Due to some circumstances i am pretty much the sole income earner in my household, so there is very little spare money. Right now, trying to move up and make some more money, but again circumstances are working against that, so simply picking up and moving, just "getting a better job" isn't really an option. So i have accepted my fate.

 

[entremet]

Nah. Finery and such never appealed to me. I just think it's cool. The setup thread is cool for getting ideas, but I never envy any of it.

 

[tiebreaker]

I love it. I like to see how people live. Jealous maybe sometimes when I see younger people having luxurious houses and I don't even own one.

 

[Skulldead]

I'm not jalous for expensive thing, luxury thing, i mean i've decide to live in a life with 0 debt other then my house, i'm fine with that. But I can be jalous sometimes for Rare/Collectable items in videogames, but at same time my rational side just accept it, it could be me, but it's not...next.

 

[Deleted member 32374]

i LOVE when i see people post pics of cool shit they have, or pics of awesome places they have been.

There are so many cool things i've picked up over the years and places i've been from having chats with people who have shared their joy.

Even if it's something you are not in a position to own / do right now, you can work towards it.

Achieving something you've worked hard to get feels great. It's normal to want to share that with others.

Remember that person has worked hard to get where they are so they are in a position to do cool shit or buy amazing stuff.

Don't shit on their parade because you feel jealous. It's not a reason to try and tear them down.

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Putting someone on ignore isn t something that is a personal attack. I m most likely on dozens of users ignore lists at this point and hey, it helps keep the peace.

It isn t about the things, it's about the comfort and position in life that I hate myself for not achieving and feel hopeless and hateful toward myself for not being able to achieve bow or in the future.

A lifetime of shitty choices is coming to roost in my 30th year. I d give up ever knowing my GF and all of my friends for a chance to go back to the first day of college and choose differently.

And yes, I am ignoring certain users out of spite. I ll admit it.

Btw, fuck pep talks. The world doesn't work that like

 

[Deleted member 3815]

Not really money can't buy you happiness nor can you take it with you when you die. Plus comparing yourselves to other is a sure fire way to depression and that a deep dark hole that you don't want to be in.

Nah, it's the fuel I use to motivate myself lol. Always remember that there are people worse off than you.

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This pretty much.

A lot of people are really salty here with jealousy I've noticed. There was one user who told me that I was lying about my age and my marriage and that I was actually a "12 year old who wants to have sex with their mom" because I said I fell head over heels for my wife the second I saw her, followed by them calling me an "immature paynis." It was pretty remarkable how bitter the person was, hahahaha.

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Yeah that was dumb immature comment made by that poster.

Couple of things i've learned in my almost 50(!) years on this planet.

1. There will always be people wealthier than you, no matter how rich or successful you are.

2. Almost everyone has shit they are dealing with, wealthy or not. I know a number of stupidly wealthy people that have some problems I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

A screenshot into someone's life doesn't even come close to knowing who they are or the issues they deal with.

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This pretty much, circumstances can change as one person may be wealthy now but they could one day lose that.

 

[Gordon Shumway]

lol..Nah. Good for them.

 

[tiebreaker]

Not really money can't buy you happiness nor can you take it with you when you die. Plus comparing yourselves to other is a sure fire way to depression and that a deep dark hole that you don't want to be in.

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But lack of money can be a source of stress. But I do agree, comparing yourselves to other is rarely a good thing.

 

[Deffers]

I get twinges of that feeling. I feel repulsed at myself after because I strive to be unfazed by material things and hold money in contempt-- I shouldn't want cash, and I shouldn't want material goods.

What's a double-edged sword most of the time is I don't want the thing people are showing off, usually. Like, a fancy car? It takes a lot to get me drooling over one of those. A good PC gaming rig? Mine's good enough. It's double-edged though because usually I start thinking "What would I do if I had that money-- just a fraction of that money, even!" And that's... at least I'm not feeling jealous at the person, yunno? But I'm like... still filled with frustration over what I don't have. I'd like some machines that help with maker stuff, for example. Or to have some money squirreled away to pay off college loans for a few months and keep those off my back. Just a few months of peace. And it's a sense of anguish having that over my head. Even though I strive to be anti-materialist as possible.

Sometimes I feel like "Well hey, at least some of the people on this forum're wealthy. There's opportunity there of some kind." But no real plan forms for a way to actually do anything with that information, yunno? What'm I gonna do, come in and beg cap in hand for cash? If I had something more concrete, then maybe-- and yeah, duh, I'm looking for a fuckin' job most of the time instead of pinning my hopes on nebulous ideas. Don't fucking worry, my plans A, B, C, or D through Z do not involve using ERA to catapult my way to fortune. It's an obviously illogical impulse with no actual concrete actionable basis. It's just as irritating, in some ways, as that twinge of envy or frustration I get. And I can't tell if it's any better or worse than those feelings either. I don't want my relationships with people to be transactional, to be "what can I get out of this person." How's that any less materialist than being jealous of someone's computer rig?

Reflecting on this just deepens my suspicion that money tends to be an inherently dehumanizing thing, for people that have it and people that don't.

 

[Randroid]

This reminds me of that thread of the guy who got uncomfortable talking about his expensive boots, heh.

But yeah OP, just just remember that people who post pictures like that aren't necessarily a happier person than you. Who knows what they might struggle with in their personal lives?

I do admit to getting a little jealous of nice houses / places some of my friends / family lives in. But I'm confident that one day I'll get get there too.

 

[Dragonyeuw]

No, but I'm not someone that craves for 'nice' things. Jealousy leads down a path I don't want to travel. Sure I wouldn't mind a bigger house, but I'm content with what I have and I have what I need, with a bit leftover for 'luxuries'( travel, occasional dining, hobbies like gaming etc) and saving for the future. My family is most important to me, really don't give a fuck about much else and what I don't have that others may have.

 

[SturokBGD]

It could be worse, you could have no arms.

 

[Unaha-Closp]

No. Assuming I have what I need to exist and not be in any pain or stress others can do or have what they like. Knock themselves out. We don't live very long so I'd much rather be content with who and what I am and have than always be jealous of what others have. We all die anyway - makes no difference what you did or had in the long run.

 

[Vish]

Not really because since I have the basics, the rest is extra. I have a good functioning car and as much as I would like a jaguar aye riding in one, I don't need it. I have a blender for making smoothies, I would like a vitamix but I don't need it to make smoothies.

I do have what I like, a hot adventurous girlfriend who loves sex, lol.

 

[RandomDazed]

Putting someone on ignore isn t something that is a personal attack. I m most likely on dozens of users ignore lists at this point and hey, it helps keep the peace.

It isn t about the things, it's about the comfort and position in life that I hate myself for not achieving and feel hopeless and hateful toward myself for not being able to achieve bow or in the future.

A lifetime of shitty choices is coming to roost in my 30th year. I d give up ever knowing my GF and all of my friends for a chance to go back to the first day of college and choose differently.

And yes, I am ignoring certain users out of spite. I ll admit it.

Btw, fuck pep talks. The world doesn't work that like

Click to shrink...

Honestly, i think it's about perspective.

Someone could read that reply and be jealous of you for being 30 if they are a lot older. Jealous that you have a GF if they are alone. Jealous that you have friends if they don't.

No matter how much you have, someone will have more.

If you understand some choices you made in the past were wrong, set your own goals to make things better, go at your own pace and feel good if you make progress. Don't get too down if you don't succeed straight away.

Life is hard enough without comparing your self to others mate. You'll always feel less if you look at others with more and wish you were them.

Either way, i hope you feel better soon and not hate your self for not achieving as much as other people. Just be you.

Sorry if that sounded like a pep talk. I just hoped a different perspective could help in some way.

 

[Deleted member 9932]

Yes I can get a bit envious. Most board is from US, which tends to have a decent purchasing power, so its pretty noticeable the difference to my lifestyle.
On the other hand, reading about a pair of boots costing 1600$ is repulsive.

 

[Deleted member 8861]

It did 5 years ago when I was barely staying a float working a full time job, but it just further motivated me to save up my limited funds to get back to school, finish my diploma, and find a good paying job which I'm about 2 weeks away from doing.

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Whoa, congratulations!

 

[Marshall]

I steer clear of any "pick up" threads because they're just thinly veiled excuses to show off one's wealth.

Edit: Also the "what car do you drive" thread. No way I'm ever clicking that one, hoo boy.

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Cars are by far the worst item people love to over spend on. So many around me drive really expensive vehicles. Decked out pickups that I know cost $50k+, higher end Mercedes, etc. My $17k Focus gets me to the same destination any of these other cars do.

So yes, I'm a bit envious of nice rides, but at the same time feel awesome for not foolishly spending on them.

 

[Prax]

I am envious of the ability to afford all the stuff and the lifestyle perks, also just general interest in what should or shouldn't be considered "quality" stuff/experiences and why, but usually I end up just wanting know the "scerets" of how the person got to where they are and if those strategies are applicable to me or something I am willing to do. Turns out I am not willing to do or be a lot of things to get at this ability so there is no point in being salty at others or myself. :P

On the other hand, I am preeeety judgmental and full of disdain at people who achieve such privilege (especially unearned, like random inheritance or corruption/criminal) who fail to be decent human beings and stomp on the dignity of others. I don't mind arrogance or some self-centeredness, but as soon as it turns malicious (e.g. abuse of power), I do wish great ill on them lol. Also if it happens that all their cool stuff falls into my lap, even better! haha

 

[vrcsix]

I'm jealous of people who got to have a stable childhood with two loving parents (who realized the emotional needs of a developing child). They tend to be well-adjusted people.

 

[TarpitCarnivore]

The best piece of advice I read when working through finance stuff was to never look at others around you and think "How" because it's very possible they're either A. not actually happy or B. in tons of dept

 

[New Fang]

The best piece of advice I read when working through finance stuff was to never look at others around you and think "How" because it's very possible they're either A. not actually happy or B. in tons of dept

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This is very, very true.

 

[Duane]

Other people online? No. Partners in the small company where I've worked and helped build for many many years? Yes. >:(

 

[Pila]

I don't get jealous much by possessions, more like the time people have to enjoy themselves and travel and all of that

Click to shrink...

Same.

 

[TarpitCarnivore]

Same.

Click to shrink...

My suggestion on this is to find ways to make the time. The biggest thing I've noticed in the last few years is people always harping on how busy they are or the time they don't have, when the reality is that they just aren't making it. If you really want to do something then you will always find a way to make the time.

 

[shaneo632]

Nah, unless they're being overly showy or making some wider jab at less well-off people I'm happy for them usually.

 

[Deleted member 11985]

I only don't like it when the person accompanies it with shitty life advice. Like one guy was humble bragging about all the vacations he takes, and was trying to convince people to stop saving money and spend it all on vacations now while you're still young.

 

[SixtyFourBlades]

I do get jealous sometimes. I feel like I've been working hard for years and I still don't have any kind of disposable income. It irritates me sometimes when I hear people say, "Well just work hard and you'll get there." It's not that simple. You have to factor in circumstance, recognition, pure luck (being in the right place at the right time), privilege, etc. Of course there are some people who overcome those conditions, but they are not the majority. Plenty people work their butts off without catching a major break their entire lives.

I'm trying to put myself in a position where it doesn't go that way for me and my family.

 

[honest_ry]

A bit.

I see people talking about buying $3000 mattresses and $2000 chairs and i think, what the fuck?

I'm struggling to eat here and struggling with mental health issues (suicidal on a weekly basis) but everyone is talking about buying a stupid $1000 phone or something.

 

[Rhomega]

I tend to not want things other people have.

 

[Pila]

My suggestion on this is to find ways to make the time. The biggest thing I've noticed in the last few years is people always harping on how busy they are or the time they don't have, when the reality is that they just aren't making it. If you really want to do something then you will always find a way to make the time.

Click to shrink...

It's a good suggestion :) you gotta ask yourself how you can improve your own situation and work about that, being salty about friends playing tennis on a thursday morning is pointless.

But I am salty dude, I don't give a shit about 4K TVs or whatever but people who can take three weeks and see the world really trigger me, real talk.

 

[Turbo Tu-Tone]

I steer clear of any "pick up" threads because they're just thinly veiled excuses to show off one's wealth.

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ding, ding, ding!