As a straight (i.e., only attracted to men) trans woman not into casual sex, dating can be fraught with heartbreak. So-called "tranny chasers" are everywhere and will objectify you as a "magical unicorn" all you could ever want, but they're not after anything more, and are usually seriously toxic people to have in your life. Sadly, because we tend to have zero self-esteem and are often certain that no "normal" guy could ever want any part of us, many trans women seem willing to settle for this kind of dating partner. I've personally known hundreds of trans women and can't think of a single instance where one of them seeking something more substantial than a casual hookup dated a chaser and ended up happy.
In my case, once I had finally decided to transition, I too resigned myself to the likelihood that I would likely never find love again. I had just left an eight year relationship with a woman whom I had loved deeply, but was not attracted to, and had a great many difficulties in getting along with, besides. As such, I decided that focusing on my transition and enjoying being single for at least the first six months going forward was the best policy.
I'm so glad I did, because this six month period of not worrying about any relationships besides friendships was pivotal in me finding myself and gaining the self-esteem I needed for choosing the right partner. Always extremely shy and withdrawn prior to my transition, I discovered an outgoing side to myself, and ended up making lots of friends in my trans support group; and, subsequently, the club scene they introduced me to. During this time, I had many chaser types pursue me, but I wouldn't give them more than the time of day. I was having too much fun with my girl friends to care about them.
As it turned out, my single period ended up lasting quite a bit longer than six months. (Other than an out-of-state "boyfriend" I had for a couple months and only saw twice before he moved across country.) But that turned out for the best when deciding not to compromise my standards led me to end up with the most amazing guy in the world. As fate would have it, we met at a cast party a community theatre friend invited me to (even though I had no involvement in their production!). He had never actually dated a trans woman before and subsequent behavior showed he was definitely no chaser. We started out as good friends for a few months, became romantic after that, and have now been together very happily for 2 1/2 years. From day one, he's always treated me as a woman, first and foremost, and has never made my being trans a big thing. He loves *me*, not some "unicorn" quality I ostensibly possess.
Admittedly, I've been incredibly lucky in landing this remarkable man. However, I tell my story as a testament to my fellow straight and bi trans sisters that finding true love is possible. (Although good men are admittedly very rare, they're out there.) Just never, ever settle for less than what you deserve, which is someone who loves and respects you for *who* you are.
