Just became a registered nurse, my wife doesnt want me to get a job

Deleted member 4452 · Apr 1, 2020

Healthcare workers on the line are risking their physical and mental health right now, every bit helps. If the system relies on the same people holding it together for the next (few? many?) months on end without any reinforcements, it will not be sustainable.

Your wife is not wrong. But will she also ask you to sit out the next pandemic?

Scuffed said:
It depends on where you are and what medical staff is treated like there. I am reading all sorts of stuff about some places having no ppe at all or having benefits cut and all sorts of mistreatment. If you are in one of those places then wait it out until there is more ppe and better support. If you are in a place where medical staff is seemingly treated with respect and where the ppe situation is at least modest then join up. As much as you want to jump in and help if you are given terrible support you can't do that anyway.

This is also true. If you're not even provided proper PPE, screw that. You're not just some sacrifice for an administration's incompetence.

Muu · Apr 1, 2020

This is going to be an ongoing issue. If you want to work, at least wait till you start hearing from your friends that PPE shortages are no longer an issue.

EVIL · Apr 1, 2020

Is the chance that you will get sick, even with protection a real threat? sure. but on the flip side, there are people out there that don't have the choice to sit at home and be with the family. everybody is sacrificing something this year, and coming together and fight this together is the best thing in humanity right now, and I am pretty sure you did not invest all of this to just sit on the bench when push comes to shove.

I absolutely understand your wife, but it is a bit selfish to keep a trained medical on the bench who could be out there and make a difference, help and be a change for even a low percent. again I assume you went into this field for a reason, and I am pretty sure it was not about the money, or about sitting at home in times of crisis making sandwiches.

BringBackSonics · Apr 1, 2020

Work.

Maccix · Apr 1, 2020

One thing to not forget about this is that if you get the virus and spread it at home,your wife can't work anymore either. Apart from the issues of the virus itself it's also the question if your family could handle a situation like this from a financial standpoint.

devenger · Apr 1, 2020

zerocalories said:
Sure I'll type some stuff up when I'm home in a few hrs. But where did you want to start working ? What's your background, did you like your previous jobs, and where are you looking to apply

I have no med background besides clinicals. Not interested in ER, loved ICU, PCU, med/surg. Im in DFW Tx, so there's many great hospitals to choose from.

My working classmates have had no PPE issues so far, but Tx hasnt been completely ravaged yet.

The wait and see approach makes no sense to me. This is going to be ongoing, we just dont know how bad its going to get.

Look, Im not really torn here besides listening to my partner and saying "ok yeah we'll give it a few weeks." Thats up this weekend, and I cant see anyway around saying "I have to work, I'll be careful and sterilize everything, but I can't sit here anymore."

nampad · Apr 1, 2020

This is the wrong place to ask for such a question I would say. We don't know anything about you.

W-00 · Apr 1, 2020

devenger, I understand that you feel like you need to be helping now. I would counsel that you might be of more help if you waited a while longer. Staggering the entrance of new medical professionals would reduce the chances of everyone getting sick at the same time.

But on the side of "just plain stay home," it's also important to remember that while younger people have a lower mortality rate than the elderly, COVID-19 can still kill them. If you brought it home and it killed your wife or kid, could you take that? Losing a loved one and knowing that you could have easily avoided it?

devenger · Apr 1, 2020

No... I dont want to kill my wife or kid.

Sorry, Im super frustrated. Thats certainly the ultimate risk keeping me from jumping in.

Bulerias · Apr 1, 2020

Hey OP, I just want to add that I think it's pretty unfair to label you wanting to work as a "fear of missing out." Wanting to help out on the front lines amidst a global crisis isn't "fear of missing out," it's a genuine desire to do what you went into the medical field to do.

Deleted member 4452 · Apr 1, 2020

devenger said:
No... I dont want to kill my wife or kid.

Sorry, Im super frustrated. Thats certainly the ultimate risk keeping me from jumping in.

No healthcare worker wants to "kill their wife or kid".

devenger · Apr 1, 2020

Llyranor said:
No healthcare worker wants to "kill their wife or kid".

I was just asked if Id be ok with that, so I answered it. Then apologized for the snark. I appreciate the responses, think I'll go to the suggested med professional thread when I clear my head.

BasilZero · Apr 1, 2020

My wife is in a similar situation

She passed the nclex exam and has been applying but hospitals aren't hiring according to what I hear - they are holding off applications - want people to still send it in but won't do anything at the moment due to the situation - that was like 3 weeks ago

She's 50/50 on the situation - she wants to work but is worried about the virus - this especially with the rumors of equipment getting low and on top of that we have two elderly people living with us that have chronic conditions.

JeTmAn · Apr 1, 2020

I wonder if there are any telemedicine opportunities available for you as a new nurse?

Raydonn · Apr 1, 2020

I have one more perspective for you.
If you did catch COVID-19, and you passed it on to your wife since you could be asymptomatic about it...

Would your wife still get paid? Would it adversly affect her workplace? Would you be able to survive on whatever savings you currently have, since you wouldn't be able to work either until you are cleared of the virus? What about groceries and such? Is someone going to buy stuff for you?

There is more to this than "helping others, making money, getting others sick" meets the eye. You also need to think of the subtle issues that may arise and assess if the risk is worth it.

BobLoblaw · Apr 1, 2020

At least wait until after the expected peak within the next 30 days. That'll buy more time for more PPE, which is in short supply right now.

grand · Apr 1, 2020

Considering the dire need for more RNs before the epidemic, this is actually the perfect market to strive for your dream job. It would be foolish to not jump in the job market

devenger · Apr 1, 2020

A 30 day wait to measure out the peak might be warranted. I agree its the best time jobwise to jump in... unless it got my family sick.

Orb · Apr 1, 2020

You are uniquely qualified to help in a situation where most people aren't. I agree that you have a moral obligation to get to work if you're needed. Surely your wife must understand this is what you trained for, right? This is the risk you agreed to take. If it wasn't COVID it'd be something else.

Antrax · Apr 1, 2020

I personally wouldn't risk it. Your own life is your prerogative, but if you did go in, you should be prepared for the "Honey I'm showing symptoms so I might've had it for awhile. You and our kid might have it now too" conversation.

If I was her and I got it (or my kid) because you went out when you didn't have to, I can't say I'd be super chill about it!

Maccix said:
One thing to not forget about this is that if you get the virus and spread it at home,your wife can't work anymore either. Apart from the issues of the virus itself it's also the question if your family could handle a situation like this from a financial standpoint.

Excellent point. Is your wife's job totally secure if she catches it?

Strangiato · Apr 1, 2020

Stay home. You'll be going through a 2-3 month orientation anyway, or whatever that would mean during this time. You're probably actually a bigger help to the world staying home and reducing the spread honestly. I'm an ICU RN and honestly wouldn't want to be orienting someone right now anyway. It's an added stress for the preceptor and the orientee.

LifeLine · Apr 1, 2020

You can chose what floor to work on/apply for. Go for low risk floors. Plus no one's going to have new nurses still orienting working on CVOID pts, unless the shortage get that bad.

Sub Boss · Apr 1, 2020

STAY AT HOME

vitamind · Apr 1, 2020

Bulerias said:
There is truth to this but also exactly because of the "all hands on deck" mentality, there are actually medical schools that are graduating students early so that they can jump into residency and help. We really do need all the help we can get.

As coronavirus patients surge, medical students rushed into practice to fight pandemic

Medical students nationwide, just months away from becoming resident doctors, are eager to alleviate the pressure on health care professionals.

abcnews.go.com

So that they can do what? 50% of intern year is trying to figure out how to order a test. I wouldn't trust a new intern to do anything beyond maybe replace electrolytes and even then. Ive seen physicians that can't perform donning and doffing correctly. We are already shifting subspecialty/outpatient/non-IM docs into inpatient roles and they are having a difficult time. We are throwing bodies to just throw them. The situation is serious but let's not endanger people (interns)just because.

Make sure the situation is right with available proper PPE. Being called a hero is dehumanizing and allows people to beat you over the head with if you aren't doing X you are not a hero. Being called a hero allows admin to hand wave away legitimate concerns and fire you when you stand up. Sorry for going on a rant, but this hero business is bullshit.

Deleted member 6215 · Apr 1, 2020

Lopez said:
Shes being selfish

No she isn't. She's thinking of her family. And the OP is 46, not 26, so it's a very good reason to give pause before diving into the thick of it.

Sub Boss · Apr 1, 2020

my daddy didn't listened and is now in Heaven 😢

hordak · Apr 1, 2020

Compass said:
Some good money to have right now with 4-5k+ a week to work in NYC. I'd work

not until they get more facemasks and protective gear.

Illusion said:
Coronavirus right now is an Avengers level threat. Just wait it out right now unless your committed to helping people.

Yeah i know you want to help, but your family is your first priority. It's one thing to rush into a burning building to people out of a fire. it's another to work in a overcrowded hospital with a very very infectious and deadly disease

AzVal · Apr 1, 2020

Why did you chose this path then? it was always a risk, if not now a similar situation may break some point in the future. if the profession risks are a deterrent, then should have studied for fair-weather sailor.

CarpeDeezNutz · Apr 1, 2020

fester said:
No she infan isn't. she's thinking of her family. And the OP is 46, not 26, so it's a very good reason to give pause before diving into the thick of it.

+ 1 it would be worse if the whole family got sick.

beelzebozo · Apr 1, 2020

you are a good person for even wanting to. if they need you, i would go.

faceless · Apr 1, 2020

if it were me, i would work, but i wouldn't judge anyone that decided not to.

PoppaBK · Apr 1, 2020

Do you have childcare? 11 is probably too young to stay at home alone.

vitamind · Apr 1, 2020

AzVal said:
Why did you chose this path then? it was always a risk, if not now a similar situation may break some point in the future. if the profession risks are a deterrent, then should have studied for fair-weather sailor.

Oh please there's absolutely nothing wrong with his wife wanting him to stay home and him choosing his family.

thewienke · Apr 1, 2020

bionic77 said:
I don't know how anyone could give you advice with this problem OP.

Kinda where I'm at.

I also lean toward going with whatever your wife feels comfortable with at this time. Jobs are jobs and family is always most important.

Officer Big Mac · Apr 1, 2020

JeTmAn said:
I wonder if there are any telemedicine opportunities available for you as a new nurse?

As a new nurse he will be doing the shitty jobs (pun not intended) but are nonetheless necessary.

RedMercury · Apr 1, 2020

Travel nurses are making bank right now. But, if your wife isn't comfortable it would be not good to go ahead anyways.

bionic77 · Apr 1, 2020

thewienke said:
Kinda where I'm at.

I also lean toward going with whatever your wife feels comfortable with at this time. Jobs are jobs and family is always most important.

Yeah I don't want to tell someone to take a risk that could result in them or someone they love dying or getting hurt.

Thats beyond my authority on internet message boards.

GiantEnemyCrab · Apr 1, 2020

I don't know. If every doctor and nurse who have a family stayed home now we would kind of have a problem now, no?

Deleted member 4452 · Apr 1, 2020

Officer Big Mac said:
As a new nurse he will be doing the shitty jobs (pun not intended) but are nonetheless necessary.

Things aren't going to manually disimpact themselves

jb1234 · Apr 1, 2020

Since you don't need the money, you could always rent an apartment. That'll keep your family safe while you work. The downside being you won't be able to see them.

night814 · Apr 1, 2020

If you want to help get out there and help, if the risks are too much then don't take them if you don't need too.

Petruccis Biceps · Apr 1, 2020

My wife is an RN and she's having a ridiculous time right now and we dont even have kids. If your wife is making enough money for all you to survive, I would hold off for now. Sure, nurses and med professionals are needed right now, but in this case, I think it may be more of a risk to just start out now. Plus you'd have to go through orientation which will likely be a trial by fire. I would wait for now imo.

blitzblake · Apr 1, 2020

Yeah tough time to do your grad year.... I'd wait if you

mikeys_legendary · Apr 1, 2020

Have you considered working in Psych?

There is less risk of catching the disease in a psychiatric facility. Hell, it might even be safer than being out in public.

devenger · Apr 1, 2020

Thanks for the responses again. I really dont think its going to get any easier or better. Yeah, I want to work, yeah I know there will always be the threat of bringing it home and I dont have to do that right now. I will most likely reach out to a few profs that wanted to hook me up with a job and ask them their opinion.

I eventually would like to be a psych nurse, but that's more school and hard to get into without experience.

Codeblue · Apr 1, 2020

vitamind said:
So that they can do what? 50% of intern year is trying to figure out how to order a test. I wouldn't trust a new intern to do anything beyond maybe replace electrolytes and even then. Ive seen physicians that can't perform donning and doffing correctly. We are already shifting subspecialty/outpatient/non-IM docs into inpatient roles and they are having a difficult time. We are throwing bodies to just throw them. The situation is serious but let's not endanger people (interns)just because.

Make sure the situation is right with available proper PPE. Being called a hero is dehumanizing and allows people to beat you over the head with if you aren't doing X you are not a hero. Being called a hero allows admin to hand wave away legitimate concerns and fire you when you stand up. Sorry for going on a rant, but this hero business is bullshit.

Do you feel like this thing is going to be going on for long enough that ultimately those having a hard time currently will wind up being a net positive after they find their footing?

RyougaSaotome · Apr 1, 2020

There are a billion more factors here to consider than just "morale rightness" or "safety of family."

If you bring it home and you're A-symptomatic , if your wife catches it and can't work anymore will that be a problem? Will you be making enough to cover for that gap? What will you do to take care of the child if your wife or you both have to be quarantined potentially? Do you have systems in place to handle that scenario?

These are all things that need to be decided as a family. I think you understand that this isn't your decision to make alone, regardless of what some of the folks on here are telling you.

Have you ever considered options like moving out of the house for the time being while you're working at the hospital? Something like that maybe.

Tapiozona · Apr 1, 2020

It's a good thing the medical professionals currently working aren't nope-ing out of it. It's hard not to think about your family in this but this profession you chose requires selflessness, especially during difficult times

vitamind · Apr 1, 2020

Codeblue said:
Do you feel like this thing is going to be going on for long enough that ultimately those having a hard time currently will wind up being a net positive after they find their footing?

More likely than not it will. The question is do we have a plan for them now opposed to figuring out how to best optimize their role before throwing people in? I have a feeling we don't. We will rush to "on board" them in attempting to find their way through cumbersome EMR and then what? It's easy to say they're now interns, but what exactly will that mean in their role as part of the team.

Nabbit · Apr 1, 2020

My wife is an NP and when I told her about your thread, she recommended you consider seeking out a online job that requires an RN for patients who trying to find out from their provider if they should go get tested for COVID or not. There are are a bunch of jobs like this popping up and that way you get to be in the fight without putting yourself at risk that your wife isn't comfortable with.

Just became a registered nurse, my wife doesnt want me to get a job

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