How much should you actually spend on an engagement ring?

[GuiltyGB]

Spend what you can. This is the key though. TALK to your partner and see what is the best outcome. My wife and I spent 1000 on both our rings and spent the rest on the honeymoon and our house instead.

it's about communication and making sure you both put your investment into what matters most to BOTH of you.

edit*
I will say though that since you earn 10k in two months your spouse is likely expecting you to spend something similar if she knows how much you earn. It's not about the money. It's about the TIME your spent to earn it. The money you spend 'can' be symbolism for how much you think she is worth to spend the rest of your life with her/them.

 

[demosthenes]

Got a white sapphire ring. Was $950 or so. She loves it.

 

[Zetta]

As many quarters as it takes you to get one from here. If none around than a checks worth should good fine.

 

[Clay]

None of those answers... spend what you are comfortable with.

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Edit: Never mind, I completely misread this post, sorry! I thought you were talking about the other posts in the thread, I didn't notice there was a poll.

Now that I see the poll, yeah, the options are just ridiculous. Buy something nice that you can afford. I really don't get the point of an arbitrary spending amount like 2 month's salary, though I'm sure the execs at De Beers are thrilled that you're contemplating them.

 

[Foot]

I'm not picking any of those poll options.

 

[Sheepinator]

Adjusted for inflation, I spent just under $10K. Check if your partner would prefer one ring or two (engagement + wedding). Mine preferred just one so she got this nice one.

 

[Skel1ingt0n]

This forum would have you believe that nobody should or does buy expensive rings. Let me be super clear - it's not even KIND of bad to save on a ring by purchasing an alternative rock or opting to go with some kind of affordable band. The key is do what makes sense for you and your SO, but also be certain - fair or not - to understand your SO will most likely be showing off to friends and family and is going to be answering questions about her new gift. Again, don't spend more to impress other people than your fiance'.... just be certain they are *truly* okay with a more affordable option if that's the route they're going.

short version: feels like RE is like 90% "don't buy an expensive diamond...." but IRL I'd say of my white collar friends making at least an average HH income, like 80%have spent at least $3-$4k on a ring, and some significantly more.

These poll options suck, though :p Don'tbut based on a multiple of your pay. Figure out what you and her want and go from there. Depending on how much you make that might be half a paycheck or five.... I just can't get on board with a flat multiple.

 

[UnpopularBlargh]

The rule is nonsense. Just buy something you both like for how much you feel comfortable.

 

[Sayre]

Wedding rings are a racket as people as mentioned but even still, your future wife may still want the traditional ring. You know her best, but go with the cheapest she would be happiest with, (within reason)

I personally would have gotten a lab made diamond that is indistinguishable from a natural one.

 

[Deleted member 3183]

This forum would have you believe that nobody should or does buy expensive rings. Let me be super clear - it's not even KIND of bad to save on a ring by purchasing an alternative rock or opting to go with some kind of affordable band. The key is do what makes sense for you and your SO, but also be certain - fair or not - to understand your SO will most likely be showing off to friends and family and is going to be answering questions about her new gift. Again, don't spend more to impress other people than your fiance'.... just be certain they are *truly* okay with a more affordable option if that's the route they're going.

short version: feels like RE is like 90% "don't buy an expensive diamond...." but IRL I'd say of my white collar friends making at least an average HH income, like 80%have spent at least $3-$4k on a ring, and some significantly more.

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Yup. I spent about $5k on a Tiffany solitaire ring. Was it a lot? Yeah. She liked the design though and I liked buying it for her.

Talk to your S/O and figure out what they want! Communicate! It's a good lesson now and after you're married.

 

[Borman]

Have a discussion with your to-be and see what she is looking for, she is the one that is wearing it, and balance that with what you are comfortable with spending.

 

[bionic77]

No rule applies to everyone. For some people $50, for others much more.

I'd spend about how much money my fiance is worth to me on the open market.

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:lol

I wouldn't go about it like that.

I am married and have gone through all of this. Money definitely doesn't buy you happiness but I would say I agree with what the OP is doing. More than the money you want to make these things memorable. I liked the space rock idea. Or maybe get a fake stone and spend $1000 to make the proposal memorable. And apply that to the wedding and pandemic honeymoon too.

 

[KoopaTheCasual]

Are wedding ring tattoos super corny?.... Because I've really been thinking about wedding ring tattoos if my future SO would be down.

 

[CNoodles]

Complete waste of money. What can u do with it besides show it off? 10k can buy u a lot of things that can bring u more joy so I would spend 250-500 max

 

[Deleted member 4367]

Are wedding ring tattoos super corny?.... Because I've really been thinking about wedding ring tattoos if my future SO would be down.

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Bad juju.

 

[Carn]

short version: feels like RE is like 90% "don't buy an expensive diamond...." but IRL I'd say of my white collar friends making at least an average HH income, like 80%have spent at least $3-$4k on a ring, and some significantly more.

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Well, since we're using anecdotals; my whitecollar-with-above-average-income friends have spend way way less. Most of them just spend a lot on the party and/or honeymoon, but I don't know anyone of them who spent more than 2k on a ring, I wonder if they even went higher than 1000.

 

[NookSports]

The rules of how much should spend were literally made by the jewelry and diamond industries. You should spend what is responsible for you for any other cosmetic / fashion product; and in these times, I think you're better off putting the better part of that 10K into a down payment or as a rainy day fund

 

[KoopaTheCasual]

Bad juju.

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Really? ))))))))):

 

[grmlin]

I decided to ask her on the top of a mountain after hiking for some hours. All I had was some tinfoil and the world lying at our feet :)

Worked great, we had our 10th anniversary last week :)

 

[kyle mechlachlan]

If you don't know then it doesn't sound like you've done the proper amount of discussion with your partner to understand what they would want.

Like, I wouldn't be going down this road until I'm reasonably sure what they would want or expect. Asking a bunch of randos online isn't going to help you

 

[Pocky4Th3Win]

I spent 2 month salary but only paid for the diamond. Which is what I recommend. Most diamond jewelry stores will give you a basic setting if you buy a good stone.

I asked my wife while playing L4D2. 8 years and counting.

 

[Chocobo Blade]

As little as you can on something you'll both like. Don't support that scam industry.

 

[Foot]

I decided to ask her on the top of a mountain after hiking for some hours. All I had was some tinfoil and the world lying at our feet :)

Worked great, we had our 10th anniversary last week :)

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I like this!

 

[Sunster]

The one I want to get her is like $1,100. For me that is like 2 weeks pay on most months.

 

[MatchaMouse]

Really depends on what your girlfriend is like. Some people don't care what they get, some would rather have money go toward the honeymoon or wedding than an expensive ring, some will feel insulted if you don't go for an expensive ring, some are cool with antiques. It's really all over the board and depends on personality. If she is into diamonds, they can get pretty pricey.

 

[Good4Squat]

Depends on your budget I guess. But honestly I could think of a million better things to spend that kind of money on, but obviously everyones priorities are different. I would talk with your significant other about it.

 

[entremet]

This forum would have you believe that nobody should or does buy expensive rings. Let me be super clear - it's not even KIND of bad to save on a ring by purchasing an alternative rock or opting to go with some kind of affordable band. The key is do what makes sense for you and your SO, but also be certain - fair or not - to understand your SO will most likely be showing off to friends and family and is going to be answering questions about her new gift. Again, don't spend more to impress other people than your fiance'.... just be certain they are *truly* okay with a more affordable option if that's the route they're going.

short version: feels like RE is like 90% "don't buy an expensive diamond...." but IRL I'd say of my white collar friends making at least an average HH income, like 80%have spent at least $3-$4k on a ring, and some significantly more.

These poll options suck, though :p Don'tbut based on a multiple of your pay. Figure out what you and her want and go from there. Depending on how much you make that might be half a paycheck or five.... I just can't get on board with a flat multiple.

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I think we agree actually. The issue with the multiples rule of thumb is that it does rely on other metrics, such as net worth (salary is not net worth), debt to income ratio, job market stability, wedding costs.

Also the average American, can't handle a 400 emergency outside of credit. Together, this is why you see the response to the silly multiples rule.

The OP didn't even mention is entire picture. He doesn't have to, it is business, but the critiques of the multiple rule is rather obvious.

The multiples rule is flawed and created by the sellers in that industry. It's important to know this.

 

[admiraltaftbar]

As other have mentioned, it come down to what you are comfortable with spending and what you know your SO is expecting (and by this I mean discuss expectation if they'll be different from what your SO has hinted at/told you they want). Also don't get a titanium ring as some has suggested they're historical very difficult to cut off in situations where you risk losing your finger or getting de-gloved.

No matter what you do, make sure you get your ring appraised by a source other than where you bought your ring from. This will be required to have it covered by personal item insurance which if you're spending any sort of money on the ring, is necessary for piece of mind.

 

[Isilia]

Pay what you can afford. Your partner should understand.

 

[Dyno]

Are wedding ring tattoos super corny?.... Because I've really been thinking about wedding ring tattoos if my future SO would be down.

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They're a bit more of a pain to take off if it ever goes south

 

[Weeros]

Here it's considered presumptious and arrogant if the man were to buy the engagement ring without consulting the tastes of the bride-to-be.

We bought the three rings (my engagement/wedding ring and her engagement and wedding rings) basically together and shared the costs (like other wedding related costs), which were maybe around 450 euros total? Seemed insane for us to splurge more than that, it mattered more to us where we bought the rings together as well as spending the money on an awesome party with our loved ones.

 

[Deleted member 4367]

Basing it on budget makes way more sense than on salary. Somebody making $30k is less likely to be able to afford 1-2 months salary than somebody making $100k.

 

[TheZjman]

Spent £400 on my wife's engagement ring and our rings were under £50 each. Don't believe you have to spend loads to get a nice one, unless your girl is a princess who wants a massive stone, in which case you might not have a choice!

 

[Servbot24]

For those of you who shopped with your partner, did it make the actual proposal less exciting? I haven't actually decided how or when I'll propose... was hoping to do it on vacation. :P

 

[yogurt]

Good grief, don't spend $10k

Spend like $1K MAX. There are plenty of beautiful options well under $1K.

 

[Quantum Leap]

Only like $500 for something different like these
http://etsy.me/1UjFxPU
https://etsy.me/2TrPZwH

 

[Lemony1984]

As little as you can get away with.

 

[Deleted member 4367]

For those of you who shopped with your partner, did it make the actual proposal less exciting? I haven't actually decided how or when I'll propose... was hoping to do it on vacation. :P

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You can propose without a ring or with a stand in if the surprise is important to y'all.

 

[Deleted member 9241]

It was more than 15 years ago. I don't even remember. I have bought her 4 more diamond rings since then and it all becomes a blur.

 

[Deleted member 8468]

Not much. Just speaking personally, I wouldn't want to be with someone who put that sort of emphasis on any ring, especially a diamond.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

I spent $5 a couple months from a wholesaler. Would've cost almost double that if I bought at Mayors or some fancy jewelry store. That's the benefit of using a wholesaler. No overhead. Also he's ranked one of best in the city, and my fiancé knows him through mutual friends.

 

[kyle mechlachlan]

For those of you who shopped with your partner, did it make the actual proposal less exciting? I haven't actually decided how or when I'll propose... was hoping to do it on vacation. :P

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I think the core issue here is that you don't know what your partner wants or expects in a proposal. Have you never talked to them about this in the past? Do you not have any clue about what they're opinion of the diamond industry is? What kind of jewelry they like and buy?

 

[Merrill]

Avoid paying for a real diamond. Get a moissanite instead. It's still a real gem and looks as good if not better than a diamond. Plus you pay a fraction of a bullshit diamond.

 

[Deleted member 12833]

I spent a months salary. Custom made with a 1.3 carat natural ruby, hand engraved, and a bunch of smaller diamonds.

A unique and beautiful ring was really important to her so I had no issue paying more.

 

[astro]

A token amount. It is just a ring, a symbol, what it stands for is the important thing not the material wealth of the thing itself.

That money could be far, far better spent on something practical when setting up a new life together.

 

[Servbot24]

I think the core issue here is that you don't know what your partner wants or expects in a proposal. Have you never talked to them about this in the past? Do you not have any clue about what they're opinion of the diamond industry is? What kind of jewelry they like and buy?

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I know the style they like, and now that this thread has confirmed I'm not crazy in regards to price I am thinking something like this (they love dragons): https://www.etsy.com/listing/541711...f=sr_gallery-1-2&organic_search_click=1&frs=1

We definitely want to get married but we haven't specifically talked about a proposal. I always thought it was suppose to be somewhat of a surprise after you're confident they would say yes.

 

[Weeros]

One more thought - isn't the point of expensive ring being kind of an insurance for your wife anyway - if they get stuck taking care of your children, missing out on their career, they at least have something to back out on if they need to get out of the marriage? So the question really depends what kind of society you live in too.

 

[Deleted member 6215]

Whatever you do, don't fall for the diamond scam. Get your SO onboard and get a real precious gem that doesn't come from an industry covered in blood.

 

[Deleted member 4367]

I know the style they like, and now that this thread has confirmed I'm not crazy in regards to price I am thinking something like this (they love dragons): https://www.etsy.com/listing/541711...f=sr_gallery-1-2&organic_search_click=1&frs=1

We definitely want to get married but we haven't specifically talked about a proposal. I always thought it was suppose to be somewhat of a surprise after you're confident they would say yes.

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Shop with them. Especially if you are thinking of a bolder design like that.

 

[swirlyglasses]

Engagement rings and marriage are a scam. Use that money to buy a house.