Do you ever feel like you don't fit in with your group of friends?

[Deleted member 5745]

Lately it feels like the only time my friends want me around is for DnD. Never really get invited to much else. It didn't used to be this way but I guess things change over time.

Also, drunk Sunday morning thread, sorry if it's a bother.

 

[UnholyChocolate]

I feel the same sometimes with mine, you gotta ask them to do other shit.

 

[BobbeMalle]

Lately i feel the same and it's painful. I know them for 10 years but they didn't grow as people; they always make objectively bad decisions, they're rude and there's not much i can do.

 

[badboy78660]

I did. A combination of me moving away + putting myself in new social situations got me new friends. I'm all the more happier now as a result. I'd suggest trying the same.

 

[Quantum Leap]

Definitely which is why I rarely hang out with them. They just like talking about high school. it's like dude we graduated a decade ago, let it go.

 

[Deleted member 48434]

Before my group of friends started drifting apart, I felt like I belonged, they were weirdos.
Now? What friends?

 

[hjort]

Yeah. At this point I'm not even sure that I'm a part of the circle of friends anymore. We seldom meet because of us living in different parts of the country, and when a meetup is planned it's always a boardgame playing get-together, which, while I find it fun, isn't something I'm as passionate about as they are. Perhaps in part because of this we don't stay in touch the way we used to, despite going back 25 or so years together.

 

[Ravelle]

Luckily I don't, I count myself very lucky to have such a big group of friends.

 

[Trickster]

Yup. Probably why I hardly ever see them anymore outside of when a new MCU movie comes out. No one invites me to do stuff, and I know that they aren't really into anything I'm into, so I don't really invite them to do stuff either.

 

[Mack]

I feel like I don't fit in society, fam.

 

[DeathyBoy]

Have you thought of inviting them to stuff?

It's a two way street. Also the fact they include you in the DND suggests they like spending time with you given how that game works,

 

[Kingpin Rogers]

I wouldn't be spending time with them if I felt I didn't.

 

[AlexBasch]

Growing up, it was kinda tough to never actually meet someone who barely liked videogames.

So that cut a lot of my socialisation, and I wish I liked other stuff back then to actually be friends with someone, since I couldn't help but feel like the odd one out.

Then I stopped getting invited to shit and that's when I know my time is up.

 

[Deleted member 5745]

Edit: sappy drunk stuff that was embarrassing.

 

[Woody]

All the damn time.

 

[Chivalry]

Maybe you're just boring?

 

[Deleted member 5745]

Maybe I am. Too boring, too depressing (well not really anymore but people remember the past)

:(

 

[SABO.]

My close friend circle is generally a group of misfits so we all fit in really well lol

When you're feeling the way you are OP, it can* mean there's not much going on in your personal life so I would look at that before you look at your friend group.

Work on yourself and you'll find that you will feel happier and, while you were in the first place, people will start to think you are more generous, have positive energy and will want to hang out with you. You'll even feel/think that you see your friends often because time will go by so much quicker as you focus on your own interests.

It sounds odd, right? Separating yourself from people and doing your own shit attracts people? Crazy, but it does.

Look at famous musicians, athletes, actors, artists etc.

They didn't become famous because they hung out with their friends on every occasion. They're famous because they shut themselves in, worked hard on themselves and focused on their personal interests.

Everyone wants to hang out with them. Everyone wants to be their friend. Everyone wants to go where they're going.

*this may not apply to you

 

[Deleted member 203]

Imagine being a working adult and having a group of friends. Couldn't be me

 

[Awesome Kev]

Friends?

 

[thetrin]

Nah, never. I have a large group of friends that I connect with, and I'm thankful for them. Reading through this thread that sounds uncommon for working ppl, so I will say that I'm 36, and have a close, large community of friends.

Part of this comes from being a foreigner living in a foreigner community.

 

[acheron_xl]

Friend.... group? I guess such a thing is theoretically possible.

 

[Deleted member 984]

Depends but I don't view it as a negative.

My core of close friends have all known each other for over a decade and we all met through the same interests and what most of us work in so always have that in common, but each of us has wider sets of interests that don't align but try it out even though it's not our thing.

I'm always up for anything physical or thrill seeking. However most are in poor shape or scared of anything remotely beyond the mundane, so when we do anything related to that I'm usually bored to tears or when everyone else is knackered I don't feel like I've even had a warm up. So I either do it by myself or with people I'd consider associates rather than friends (usually better by myself). The friends that I have that are similar to me in that way are hard to get organised due to timing conflicts or living in different countries.

Even though I'd like somebody that I get on with to be into the same stuff as me I prefer that my friends have different interests and goals as it open me up to different experiences, possibility, and people I'd never normally meet which I enjoy a lot.

 

[Kizuna]

I've always somehow ended up hanging out with the most normal people imaginable despite being the biggest "kinda awkward weeb" stereotype around on the inside. Guess it has to do with me preferring to go with the flow and pretending to be what those around want me to be at the moment. So, uh, yeah.

 

[meowdi gras]

I don't fit in with anybody, not even with my loved ones. Oh well, just my little cross to bear (among others), I guess.

 

[Plywood]

I don't have any friends, so

 

[defaltoption]

Yes, I even felt this so strongly I made the really really really tough decision to stop being around and in contact with them, I think about them nearly every day. I did it because of not only what some others here have echoed but also because I believe was a bad or let's say negative influence in their lives and thought I should do them the favor of removing myself so they can be free from my energy and thought hey who knows maybe I'll start to work on myself and do better as well. Well about a year and half later I've only spoken to one of my 3 closest friends of over 10 years once in that time and found out they are all doing amazing, my life is still well is what it is but even though I never told them why I did it even that one time I was in contact with one of them it seems to have worked. They are all doing amazing, great jobs, engagement, accomplishment of goals. Sometimes we are the problem whther or not it's tough to admit. They'd never see it that way of course but that's because of how awesome they are.

 

[GamerJM]

I felt this way in college and it was because I didn't. And now they're not really my friends anymore.

I was also ousted from a middle school group of friends in high school because I was too weird.

 

[BasilZero]

I felt the same and it was true. I have a lot of acquaintances but thats pretty much it.

No one I know irl plays video games, watch anime or are interested in my hobbies (music, movies, tv shows, videography/photography) as much as I love them.


I tried going online to see if I can find any like minded people and ended up finding a bunch of weirdos who have severe amount of issues....


So nowadays I just spend time to myself and my family - which is fine, less stressful and I can plan things to do accordingly.

 

[BashNasty]

Thankfully no, I feel like I fit in with my various friend groups very well.

I'm lucky to be extroverted, funny, and extremely laid back, so fitting in and getting along with people has never been a problem for me (well, not since middle school anyway, once I grew into myself).

 

[Strangelove_77]

A "group"....of friends?
Haven't had that since my mid 20s.

Anyways, you're drifting apart. It's meant to happen. Just go with it.

 

[RedVejigante]

Thankfully I found a group of people who are all wonderfully accepting and supportive, but there still times when I feel insecure about my place in the group, since most of them are highly educated professors, and I am a college drop out failed art student.

 

[2PiR]

I wouldn't be spending time with them if I felt I didn't.

Click to shrink...

pretty much, how can you call them friends but don't fit in? lol that poll result is shocking

 

[Deleted member 5745]

Welp. Guess there's a first drunk thread for everyone. Lol. Sorry for getting sappy.

 

[Reym]

Yeah...My friends are great, they always try to include me in stuff, but I'm just so miserable I feel like I'm just in the way and bringing them down. I say yes when they invite me because I don't want to seem like I'm ignoring them, but I usually just sit off to the side while they do their thing.
So I do feel like I don't feel like I fit in, but it's all on me.

 

[Ziltoidia 9]

what friends

 

[jelly]

Eh, we still hang out but you know, work, family, different places, work friends. Life is busy. Getting old, I honestly couldn't meet up every weekend like we did when we were younger. Always good to catch up when you haven't seen each other in a while. I think we just savour the downtime more than we were younger because you get it less and less.

 

[Shadow]

Don't even have IRL friends. I have a family that's awesome as friends though, so I'm good. I do have online friends I talk to and feel like I'm the lame person in the group, but I try my best and they never say anything about it so I'm probably worrying for nothing.
So if that poll was open still, that'd be a yes for me.

 

[Aurica]

Damn. Sad to see those polling numbers. I think I have off days, but my friends mostly make me feel very welcome and we get along quite well.

 

[Deleted member 2085]

I get along with my coworkers. We're slowly becoming friends.
People I already consider my friends however? Yeah, I feel alienated most of the time. And it's not even their fault, it's mine.

 

[DarkChronic]

Wow I wasn't expecting so many yes answers.

I don't think I've ever felt this way. Very lucky, I guess.

 

[B.K.]

I don't have any friends.

 

[Spenny]

No. If I did I wouldn't consider them friends.

 

[jb1234]

Don't really have a friend group anymore. Not sure I ever did, really.

 

[Real]

Every now and then. My core group of best friends are now all professional athletes - although we all still relate to a LOT of things, there's an extra level of brotherhood they have that only professional athletics in their league really share.

 

[SolVanderlyn]

I never fit in with any groups. I've always had one or two friends who I was really close with.

Internet groups/forums being the exception. But those are usually hyper-focused on something, so it makes sense you'd find similar minds there.

At various times of my life, usually after long summers during high school or any time during grad school, I would spend so much time online for this very reason that I'd forget what a bubble I lived in, and constantly be surprised how different other people were when I actually went outside.

 

[Grimsen]

My friends are great. Never felt this way.

 

[mhayes86]

Not really. While I mostly see my friends for monthly for D&D or the occasional concert, the problem is that I moved away (about a two hour drive) while they all still live in or around the towns we grew up in.

We have to plan getting together and events out ahead due to scheduling as a result, so it sucks to lose some of the spontaneity.

 

[Deleted member 18360]

I don't really have much experience with friend groups, my friendships are usually more one on one, and it's hard to feel like an outsider when there are only two of you.

 

[Kilic95]

Groups sucks. True friends only go in pairs.