COVID dilemma: My girlfriend's roommate got COVID. Is seeing her over the next two weeks a dumb thing to do?

[ToddBonzalez]

So yeah. I'm currently in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend. We typically only see each other on weekends (though hopefully that'll change sometime soon). She lives with a roommate who recently notified her that he had a sore throat and took 2 COVID rapid tests that both came back positive. He said he plans on staying in his bedroom as much as possible over the next 2 weeks and will wear a mask anytime he is passing through the common areas of the apartment (living room and kitchen).

I said it might be best if we don't see each other over the next 2 weeks out of an abundance of caution. She said she will buy some tests and test the day before she comes to visit me and that should be enough. From what I understand, you can transmit the virus, yet be asymptomatic and negative on a test for a couple days after exposure.

What is the best way to handle this situation in your opinions?

Also- my gf, the roommate, and I are all triple vaxxed.

 

[Bengraven]

I thought you meant seeing the roommate.

Also testing is fine as long as enough time has passed since exposure.

 

[TripleBee]

This might not be a popular opinion - but if your vaxed, and you aren't living with your immunocompromised grandparent or something - I say go for it. (even without the testing)

 

[ToddBonzalez]

I thought you meant seeing the roommate.

Also testing is fine as long as enough time has passed since exposure.

Click to shrink...

No. She would be visiting me this time. I don't plan on going to her place or seeing the roommate at all for the next 2 weeks.

 

[Biosnake]

If you genuinely want to be as safe as possible don't see her for a few weeks. All depends on how much risk you are willing to take.

 

[kai3345]

This might not be a popular opinion - but if your vaxed, and you aren't living with your immunocompromised grandparent or something - I say go for it. (even without the testing)

Click to shrink...

Agreed. Maybe do a few home tests at certain intervals (like maybe a couple days after she leaves the first weekend, etc.) and you should be fine

 

[gdt]

Risky for sure.

Do what you feel, but it's risky.

 

[WedgeX]

Comes with risks and trade offs. Are you in contact with anyone whose immunocompromised or kids who can't be vaccinated yet after you see each other? If you got sick, would you have to take time off work/could you afford to do so? Some questions to consider.

Not unheard of for roommates - who are all triple vaxxed - to not spread Covid from person to person. Masks/vaccines/self-isolation is a good combo.

 

[tiebreaker]

Depends on if you are planning to meet someone else after. Will there be a risk of spreading it to your family or friends?

If the risk is only to yourself, then go for it, you are already triple vaccinated.

 

[tapedeck]

This might not be a popular opinion - but if your vaxed, and you aren't living with your immunocompromised grandparent or something - I say go for it. (even without the testing)

Click to shrink...

Yeah if OP (and his gf) are fully vaxed and isn't living with anyone whose compromised I'd probably do it.

 

[ToddBonzalez]

Comes with risks and trade offs. Are you in contact with anyone whose immunocompromised or kids who can't be vaccinated yet after you see each other? If you got sick, would you have to take time off work/could you afford to do so? Some questions to consider.

Not unheard of for roommates - who are all triple vaxxed - to not spread Covid from person to person. Masks/vaccines/self-isolation is a good combo.

Click to shrink...

I live alone and wfh. So my mandatory exposure to other people is really limited.

 

[platocplx]

Its a little risky, but I can say I didnt pass it on to my roommate when I had it but I def was diligent to stay in my room, and in the common areas I kept my mask on. So if they plan to do that regimen then it could be okay after about a week after onset symptoms, and your GF doesnt have any symptoms after 10 days.(this was pre-vaccine days) as well.

 

[Canas Renvall]

Steer clear for a few weeks. Just remember that roomie was triple vaxxed and still got COVID, so both of you can too.

 

[julia crawford]

If you're both seemingly ok with not seeing each other for the duration, why not just not see each other then?

 

[Biosnake]

I live alone and wfh. So my mandatory exposure to other people is really limited.

Click to shrink...

In this case the only risk would be you getting it, which is up to you if you care or not. If you do get it most likely you'll be fine, but obviously that is not a guarantee. Then you have to think about possible long term effects.

 

[ToddBonzalez]

If you're both seemingly ok with not seeing each other for the duration, why not just not see each other then?

Click to shrink...

I'm okay with it, but she pushed back on it a little bit. She said ultimately she'd be okay with what I decided, but thought I was being overly cautious.

 

[Lumination]

It's just two weekends. Your relationship should be able to survive this. If not, then. Well.

 

[Bengraven]

No. She would be visiting me this time. I don't plan on going to her place or seeing the roommate at all for the next 2 weeks.

Click to shrink...

I would probably have her get a test in the next couple days, closer to the weekend. Chances are that she has been exposed to him over the last couple weeks and should know if she already has it by now. If she's not positive at the end of this week I think it's much less of a risk.

 

[julia crawford]

I'm okay with it, but she pushed back on it a little bit. She said ultimately she'd be okay with what I decided, but thought I was being overly cautious.

Click to shrink...

Oh ok. Sorry if i misunderstood.

 

[RetroRunner]

YOLO

Just do it OP, people have done riskier things for sex

 

[AuthenticM]

 

[Dermee]

"Well babe, people on the internet told me I should not be around you right now…"

She would really love to hear your reasoning. In short, don't take advice from the internet as a definitive.

 

[Cow Mengde]

Just make sure you wear protection.

 

[The Albatross]

In terms of the 'safest thing to do,' you should wait 5-7+ days after she's been exposed and has a negative test before you see her. Even then there's still some risk of exposure.

Right now, my mom tested positive for COVID on ~Friday, she got it from her physical therapist who was COVID positive the weekend before (my mom had surgery aabout 10 days ago and has an at-home PT). Her PT developed symptoms on Monday, but likely had it on Sat/Sun at my mom's house, and then my mom tested positive a few days later. My sister and father (who live with my mom) had been negative, but then my sister tested positive on Sunday, my dad is still negative but assumes he's going to be positive soon. Similar to my family, where my wife tested positive back in January on a Monday, and my daughter and I were negative for at least 3+ days... until I was ifnally positive on Friday morning, and then my daughter didn't test positive until the *next* Thursday (but this was one at home tests were impossible to find, so that ~10 days after initial exposure was the earliest we could get her in to test.. She likely was positive before that Thursday but we couldn't confirm because tests were hard to get in Jan and we just assumed we were all positive and acted as such).

You're right that you can test negative and still have COVID and still spread COVID. My wife, when she had COVID, tested negative on Sunday, and tested negative on MOnday morning, but then was positive Monday night. She was symptomatic though. My daughter and I were basically asymptomatic the whole time, slight sore throats for both of us but basically nothing.

If she's still negative come this weekend it's up to you and her. There's still risk, for sure. By next weekend if she's still negative it's a safe bet she's out of the woods from her roommate.

 

[Bing147]

I wouldn't. For a normal exposure I certainly wouldn't wait two weeks (probably more like 5-7 days and then have them test) but the issue is that she has ongoing exposure due to her roommate living with her. Even if he's as careful as he can about staying in the bedroom, this thing is airborne and could reach her (it will help if his room can have proper ventilation. Keep a window open if the weather allows), and even beyond that I would assume he plans to come out to get food, or to use the bathroom. Which means she's going to have ongoing exposure every day until he's recovered and no longer contagious. And there's a period before the tests pick it up where you are contagious. It just seems a silly risk to take when its only a couple weeks.

I mean, it is definitely possible to live with someone and not pass it. My dad got COVID last year and never gave it to my mom (he isolated in the bedroom as soon as they knew. She brought him food and left it outside the door. He'd leave the dishes on the other side and she'd wait several hours to retrieve them. He only used the bathroom in the same hall as their bedroom which she avoided). Then my mom got Omicron last month and never gave it to my dad doing the same things. It can be done. But its a risk.

If she had another place she could stay for a couple weeks until he recovers, that would certainly lower the risk. Outside of that, I don't see why you wouldn't both want to be as careful as possible. It isn't that either of you are particularly at personal risk, but COVID still sucks and isn't something you should want, and if you get it that increases the odds you pass it further to more people who are at risk. I might understand taking that risk if you only saw each other a couple of times a year, but you see each other on weekends regularly it sounds like, giving up a couple weeks isn't some huge sacrifice to slow the spread of this thing.

 

[Orayn]

Definitely risky, but getting infected isn't a given. My roommate tested positive on the 31st and I managed not to catch it from him between then and the 7th, testing almost every day. It helps that he basically lives in a separate part of the house that he rarely left, and he usually wore a mask when he did. I also ran a HEPA air purifier in whatever room I was in almost constantly.

 

[ToddBonzalez]

I wouldn't. For a normal exposure I certainly wouldn't wait two weeks (probably more like 5-7 days and then have them test) but the issue is that she has ongoing exposure due to her roommate living with her. Even if he's as careful as he can about staying in the bedroom, this thing is airborne and could reach her (it will help if his room can have proper ventilation. Keep a window open if the weather allows), and even beyond that I would assume he plans to come out to get food, or to use the bathroom. Which means she's going to have ongoing exposure every day until he's recovered and no longer contagious. And there's a period before the tests pick it up where you are contagious. It just seems a silly risk to take when its only a couple weeks.

I mean, it is definitely possible to live with someone and not pass it. My dad got COVID last year and never gave it to my mom (he isolated in the bedroom as soon as they knew. She brought him food and left it outside the door. He'd leave the dishes on the other side and she'd wait several hours to retrieve them. He only used the bathroom in the same hall as their bedroom which she avoided). Then my mom got Omicron last month and never gave it to my dad. It can be done. But its a risk.

If she had another place she could stay for a couple weeks until he recovers, that would certainly lower the risk. Outside of that, I don't see why you wouldn't both want to be as careful as possible. It isn't that either of you are particularly at personal risk, but COVID still sucks and isn't something you should want, and if you get it that increases the odds you pass it further to more people who are at risk. I might understand taking that risk if you only saw each other a couple of times a year, but you see each other on weekends regularly it sounds like, giving up a couple weeks isn't some huge sacrifice to slow the spread of this thing.

Click to shrink...

Yeah. Her parents live nearby to her, so I suggested staying with them...Unfortunately they don't have a super great relationship and living with them for 2 full weeks was something she didn't want to do.

 

[RiOrius]

I don't think it's a big deal to go two weeks without seeing someone.

Now, it kind of depends on how "long distance" this is. Like, do you generally get to see her every weekend, or only certain times when schedules line up? 'Cause if it's a once-a-month kind of thing... eh, even then, skipping one isn't so bad IMO.

Like, viruses spread. Yeah, I get it, you're vaxxed, she's vaxxed, neither of you are in danger. And you work from home so you probably won't spread it much. But do you intend to keep testing and stay in full lockdown for two weeks if one goes positive? No grocery store, no nothing? No... weekend visit from the GF? How many home tests do you have in stock?

Seems easier to just skip a couple weekend visits. I've done long distance with month-long gaps. It's not hard, dude.

 

[Zyae]

have them take a test before they come to you and thats it.

 

[Sketchsanchez]

If she gave push back to your suggestion then trust me she will not be okay with what you ultimately decide.

 

[Tendo]

With COVID not going away this won't be the last time this situation pops up. You need to be thinking and preparing what levels of risk / exposure you are ok with going forward. Really, we all need to.

 

[xxracerxx]

If she gave push back to your suggestion then trust me she will not be okay with what you ultimately decide.

Click to shrink...

People can have an initial reaction and then come to their senses after said initial reaction.

 

[shaneo632]

If the housemate is going to stay out of the way, you're both testing regularly and both vaxed I don't really see the problem. Personally I would probably avoid but if you're desperate to see each other it's doable with caution.

COVID with roommates/housemates is hard though, I lived in a 6-person houseshare through some of the worst parts of the early pandemic and everyone having their own idea of what is OK (some much laxer than others) was really infuriating.

 

[Book One]

don't see much reason to take the chance. A couple of weeks isn't a big deal

 

[CrocM]

Get her some take home tests, be cautious and power through. There is an unspoken significant other exception in pandemic times I've learned.

 

[ghostemoji]

As long as everyone consents (i.e. people you live with) I don't see a problem. When my (live in) partner got COVID the doctor told us that since I was vaccinated and not showing any symptoms that I didn't have to isolate or quarantine. I didn't end up getting sick or even testing positive despite sleeping in the same bed with her every night.

The rules are much more non-existent now so it's your personal comfort.

 

[TaySan]

Two weeks isn't a big deal in my opinion, but ultimately it's up to you since you are living alone. Maybe get her to take a home test first before seeing her?

 

[AliceAmber]

Wait a few weeks. It's not worth it.

 

[Dog of Bork]

If you're both vaxxed, healthy, young, and have limited contact with immunocompromised or elderly people, have her take a rapid test before coming out and have fun. Afterwards, avoid unnecessary interactions with others, wear masks in public, and test 3-5 days after your contact to ensure negative test before removing your mask in public and resuming life as normal.

 

[Random Painted Highway]

If you don't have someone immunocompromised at home, I wouldn't give this a second thought and go for a visit.

 

[Charcoal]

If everyone is vaxed...smash

 

[DonNadie]

Just take a rapid test before meeting each other. Go see your girlfriend and have fun.

 

[PeskyToaster]

Yeah if you're triple vaxxed I think you're good.

 

[Hollywood Duo]

I'd say if you are both fully vaccinated and she is going to test before she comes then that is pretty reasonably safe. If her roommate already had the positive test and you aren't seeing her until next weekend its likely if she had it she would be past the incubation period and test positive before coming.

 

[Smokeymicpot]

You tripled vaxed you good.

 

[rokkerkory]

should be ok then

 

[thewienke]

From a general risk standpoint - most places in the US have completely given up on distancing and masking even. So I kinda get the idea of throwing your hands up and saying "YOLO".

But I would compare this to hanging out with someone whose roommate had the flu in a pre-COVID world. You'd probably still be like "nah, I don't want to get the flu". If you're triple vaxxed then that's probably a reasonable point of reference for your current risk in going.

So I might skip for the time being.

edit: wait she's coming to see you? nah you're probably good

 

[ruggiex]

Even fully vaxxed the likelihood of getting covid is still pretty high due to various factors these days so it's up to your comfort level, and how unlucky you are wrt long covid I guess.

 

[Deleted member 4614]

I am fully vaxxed, got covid. It sucked.

 

[wolfshirt]

You're going to get COVID. Just know that.