SingleEra, how do you settle the bill?

[Illenium]

There's probably a thread about it here somewhere but I'm curious for you single people here on Era, if you guys exist, do you guys pay for the first date meal entirely or do you go half?
Do you guys have any deciding factors?

I'm a girl & I'm curious if the guy tends to play this mind game of "Seeing if the girl is willing to pay". I always go half, even in exclusive relationships, or a "you get this, I'll get the next one" type deal.

so yeah, how do you guys settle the bill? If you select other, explain :3

edit: I'm glad a lot of votes are "split." Now ... someone convince this guy to let me split the bill >:( lol

 

[Cokie Bear]

Why would I buy someone I'm just getting to know a full meal? I fully expect them to pay their share. I'll happily pay for people I know and like.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

I'll offer to pay if the date went well and say something like "you can get the next one" or something along those lines implying I'm interested in a second date. If the date was boring and I have no interest in meeting up again I will always ask for separate bills. If the date was horrible I'm dine and dashing and sticking them with the full bill.

 

[Finale Fireworker]

I'm married now, but when I was single, I usually offered to pay for the first date. I only dated one person at a time though so it wasn't like I was seeing new people often. I imagine if you have more first dates it could get expensive to pay for them all. 🤔

But I don't know. I think it's nice when the person who initiates the date offers to pay for the date. Like you are taking them out to get to know them.

 

[BringBackSonics]

Who ever is the one asking the person out, pays.

I put other.

 

[Mozendo]

I would pay for my own meal.

 

[Matsukaze]

If the date was great and I'm really interested in having a second date with that person, I'll cover the full meal. Even if the date was just ok, I sometimes cover the full meal. However, if the date was a dud and I have no interest in seeing that person again, then I'm only covering myself.

 

[overcast]

Depends on the person and the meal I think.

 

[Deleted member 9241]

Back when I was single, I always paid for everything.

 

[Ralemont]

Split. I sometimes pay if I really want to treat someone, but the expectation for any adult should be to pay for themselves. It isn't treating someone if it's considered the baseline.

Online dating has really skewed the whole "chivalry" "man always treats ugabuga" thing anyway. Online dating means around 4-5 dates a month. It would be ridiculous to ask someone to pay 300 bucks just because outdated gender roles dictate it.

 

[Knight613]

If I asked them out, I'd pay for the meal. At worst I'd split, but I'd probably never expect them to pay for me.

 

[Jangowuzhere]

I always pay for the fullmeal.

It's shitty when you do that and the person then ghosts you the next day. At least tell me you're not interested at the least.

 

[Deleted member 15428]

I offer to pay in full but most of the time they insist to pay their part, so I let them.

 

[Illenium]

I always pay for the fullmeal.

It's shitty when you do that and the person then ghosts you the next day. At least tell me you're not interested at the least.

Click to shrink...

honestly one of the many reasons why I split. I know a lot of people who actually goes on dates with guys JUST for the meal. It kinda sucks

 

[Seirith]

My husband and I usually paid for our own stuff when we were dating but we were also teenagers so most of our dates were mall food or something like Friendly's. Sometimes he would pay or I would pay, we didn't "keep score". I usually do the physical act of paying now but our money is all combined so we both pay in the end.

 

[NekoFever]

When I was single, I'd always offer and be willing to pay, but I admit I'd judge if she didn't make even a token offer to split.

 

[Hokahey]

When I was dating, the first date was always coffee or drinks, I pay full. I'm a Male for reference. After a few awkward meals for first dates and even more awkwardness come time to pay I cut that shit out quickly. Drinks only. Meal when I knew we're good and then I dont mind paying.

 

[Deleted member 39374]

Years ago I went on a first date with a very pretty girl who was a model, my idiot friend told me to "split the bill bro" and my idiot 20 year old reptile brain did it. We went back to her car afterwards and she said "do you know how you fucked up tonight?" and she then explained that you always have to pay in full on the first date and the consequence is that she's no longer interested in seeing me

That was tough love

 

[Mesoian]

Split or separate checks.

I don't mind splitting, even though most of the time I'm the one spending more in that situation.

Years ago I went on a first date with a very pretty girl who was a model, my idiot friend told me to "split the bill bro" and my idiot 20 year old reptile brain did it. We went back to her car afterwards and she said "do you know how you fucked up tonight?" and she then explained that you always have to pay in full on the first date and the consequence is that she's no longer interested in seeing me

That was tough love

Click to shrink...

Sounds like you dodged a bullet.

The whole, "I'm looking for a man who will take care of me forever regardless of what I do" motif is suspect everytime it comes up. If you're not down to split, you're not looking for a serious relationship and you can get gone.

 

[ryutaro's mama]

I almost always pay for the first date unless it isn't going well and she wants to split it.

 

[Trace]

Years ago I went on a first date with a very pretty girl who was a model, my idiot friend told me to "split the bill bro" and my idiot 20 year old reptile brain did it. We went back to her car afterwards and she said "do you know how you fucked up tonight?" and she then explained that you always have to pay in full on the first date and the consequence is that she's no longer interested in seeing me

That was tough love

Click to shrink...

She's just mad she didn't get a free meal out of you, if she actually cared about seeing you again that wouldn't have been issue. Congratulations on not getting played.

 

[Ralemont]

Years ago I went on a first date with a very pretty girl who was a model, my idiot friend told me to "split the bill bro" and my idiot 20 year old reptile brain did it. We went back to her car afterwards and she said "do you know how you fucked up tonight?" and she then explained that you always have to pay in full on the first date and the consequence is that she's no longer interested in seeing me

That was tough love

Click to shrink...

No, your smart friend did you a favor.

 

[TheFurizzlyBear]

Who ever is the one asking the person out, pays.

I put other.

Click to shrink...

This, if I asked I'm paying. If I was asked out then I would expect the other way but would probably try and split it.

 

[DjDeathCool]

I ask to pay for the first meal.

edit:

Who ever is the one asking the person out, pays.

I put other.

Click to shrink...

also, this.

 

[Kurita]

Luckily enough I've never been with a girl that expected me to pay for the whole thing, all of my first dates have been split.

 

[Jangowuzhere]

She's just mad she didn't get a free meal out of you, if she actually cared about seeing you again that wouldn't have been issue. Congratulations on not getting played.

Click to shrink...

Not really

Pretty sure a lot of women will think less of a man who wouldn't at least offer to pay the bill. These are not old time social norms, they are still in full force today.

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/...her-they-still-think-men-should-pay-for-dates

 

[TaySan]

I'll pay for the first date, but I'm expecting at least an offer by the second date. I dont like the princess mentality.

 

[Trace]

Not really

Pretty sure a lot of women will think less of a man who wouldn't at least offer to pay the bill. These are not old time social norms, they are still in full force today.

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/...her-they-still-think-men-should-pay-for-dates

Click to shrink...

Patriarchy goes both ways and I'm not into that, so no thanks.

 

[Kayla]

The guy pays

 

[Engell]

alot of women think less of men if they don't pay all of it ... fortunately those women are not worth your time

 

[Deleted member 46958]

Split or "you get this one, I'll get the next".

if I have extra bank, it's on me.

Dislike the awkward dead air that can precede the decision. So I'm always up for either of the above two.

 

[Deleted member 39374]

She's just mad she didn't get a free meal out of you, if she actually cared about seeing you again that wouldn't have been issue. Congratulations on not getting played.

Click to shrink...

No, your smart friend did you a favor.

Click to shrink...

I guess that's one way to look at it.

 

[Jangowuzhere]

Patriarchy goes both ways and I'm not into that, so no thanks.

Click to shrink...

Okay, but for the single dating man, the act of paying for a meal is an attractive trait for many women.

If that's how you wanna go, then fine, but that does limit the people you're able to attract and keep dating.

 

[ParanormalFupa]

Not really

Pretty sure a lot of women will think less of a man who wouldn't at least offer to pay the bill. These are not old time social norms, they are still in full force today.

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/...her-they-still-think-men-should-pay-for-dates

Click to shrink...

Nah. You wack.

 

[Trace]

Okay, but for the single dating man, the act of paying for a meal is an attractive trait for many women.

If that's how you wanna go, then fine, but that does limit the people you're able to attract and keep dating.

Click to shrink...

If a woman is going to think less of me because I didn't offer to pay for her when I don't know her based on outdated social norms from when women had no income, she isn't worth my time in the first place. Treat yourself better.

 

[Bio]

First few dates I just pay, because fuck it why not. After that, if things progress, it really depends on the situation. If I make considerably more money than the person I'm dating, I'm fine with continuing to pay. If they make similar to what I do, it's a discussion to be had.

 

[Ralemont]

Not really

Pretty sure a lot of women will think less of a man who wouldn't at least offer to pay the bill. These are not old time social norms, they are still in full force today.

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/...her-they-still-think-men-should-pay-for-dates

Click to shrink...

And a lot of men will be willing to oblige them for the testosterone kick.

For those of us looking for an equal partner and not a princess, limiting the dating pool is A-ok.

 

[XDevil666]

Split or if multi dates/relationship take it in turns to pay

 

[Deleted member 5334]

For me, it really depends. Sometimes we split. Sometimes the other party does it. Sometimes I do. We usually discuss it before hand. This is for both friends and maybe potential dates, to clarify.

 

[AnansiThePersona]

Depends. If it's like coffee or tea and a little snack, yeah, I'll pay the whole thing. If it's a whole ass meal, we are gonna split

 

[Failburger]

I'm not a baby sitter . Pay for your food or get out

 

[Akita One]

The basic answer: Whoever invites or initiates the date should pay.
The real answer for people with Game: If you don't feel like paying for the whole first date, then you shouldn't be going on the date. Successful dating is about selling an experience...it's very telling why people are so poor at making it to the second or third date. If you had to choose between going to Disney World and paying, and going to Disney World for free...what would you choose?

Not to mention, the more attractive someone is overall, the more options they have. You don't want $20 to be the difference maker. Now, that doesn't mean going to the most expensive place or anything, which is why it's often better to go to a bar or maybe a park with a food stand or something "light", without planning anything ahead of that and playing it by ear.

If a woman is going to think less of me because I didn't offer to pay for her when I don't know her based on outdated social norms from when women had no income, she isn't worth my time in the first place. Treat yourself better.

Click to shrink...

But it's not thinking less of you...you are a total stranger and EVERYTHING you do can be seen as a precedent. There is little to nothing you will do on a first date that makes you special or to make someone think you are worth their time.

It's not about social norms...women have more options, and alot of times, those options turn sour real quick. Lots of stories about guys "forgetting their wallets" or suggesting all these places only to get defensive over the check. But again...if you don't want to pay right off the bat then don't go on the date.

I always pay for the fullmeal.

It's shitty when you do that and the person then ghosts you the next day. At least tell me you're not interested at the least.

Click to shrink...

It's not shitty, you are a total stranger and that person doesn't owe you anything. Plus, the vast majority of people don't handle rejection well. Not hearing from a person IS being told they are not interested.

When I was single, I'd always offer and be willing to pay, but I admit I'd judge if she didn't make even a token offer to split.

Click to shrink...

And this is the other good point...on the other side, the person should still offer to pay. And I forgot to list this as the NUMBER ONE reason you should offer to pay, how they react tells you everything you need to know. There is no better way to get information about who a person really is then by when the check comes.

 

[DjDeathCool]

And a lot of men will be willing to oblige them for the testosterone kick.

For those of us looking for an equal partner and not a princess, limiting the dating pool is A-ok.

Click to shrink...

Yeah, I generally want to pay for the meal or whatever but if a person thinks I'm obligated to do so then she's definitely not getting a second meal.

 

[davepoobond]

Who ever is the one asking the person out, pays.

I put other.

Click to shrink...

this

eventually it should even out

 

[Min]

I offer to pay, but they usually ask to split which I'm totally okay with. I definitely agree whoever invites/initiates the date should offer to pay or take into consideration costs at least.

 

[Brinbe]

Always pay for your own shit and split whatever you share.

If I'm explicitly asking someone out to dinner, I have zero problems paying, but that's wildly different.

But if a woman actually really cares, she and I aren't compatible anyway. I have no intention or interest in being with a child.

 

[ParanormalFupa]

But it's not thinking less of you...you are a total stranger and EVERYTHING you do can be seen as a precedent. There is little to nothing you will do on a first date that makes you special or to make someone think you are worth their time.

It's not about social norms...women have more options, and alot of times, those options turn sour real quick. Lots of stories about guys "forgetting their wallets" or suggesting all these places only to get defensive over the check. But again...if you don't want to pay right off the bat then don't go on the date.

Click to shrink...

If you are still a total stranger by the end of a meal on a first date, you have already failed. There is plenty that can be done on a first that makes you special or to make someone think you are worth their time. Ask anyone in a committed relationship about what they remember from their first dates or ask people in general for positive memorable first date experiences. I doubt there are a lot of real stories about guys "forgetting their wallets." That's like some TV sitcom anecdote not evidence of anything.

 

[Akita One]

If you are still a total stranger by the end of a meal on a first date, you have already failed. There is plenty that can be done on a first that makes you special or to make someone think you are worth their time.

Click to shrink...

No, all dates are totally different...a spark can happen at the beginning of a 1st date or at the end of date #10. You are being literal with the "total stranger" part...you can know someone beyond being a stranger but feel like they won't be someone good to date based on how they react when the check comes.

Again...people have options and you are selling an experience. Dating is almost exactly the same as a job interview.

 

[sfedai0]

Never a meal on a first date. Just coffee or drinks. Depending on how it goes, I'll usually pay. If she doesnt make even an attempt on second date to pay, then its unlikely it goes anywhere.

 

[Jangowuzhere]

And a lot of men will be willing to oblige them for the testosterone kick.

For those of us looking for an equal partner and not a princess, limiting the dating pool is A-ok.

Click to shrink...

And this is dating. People aren't trying suss out whether or not the person they're going out with is an "equal partner" or not. It's about attraction and having an experience.