(Poll) How high (or low) is your self-esteem?
- Thread starter Shizuka
- Start date
A year ago I probably would've answered 0-3 but now I think I'm at a comfortable 5-6. Distancing yourself from negative people/communities and taking care of your body goes a long way.
2 or 3, it could be worse but I am still extremely quick to discount my achievements, put myself down, and/or assume that everyone is only putting up with me out of pity. I've made huge strides on adjacent depression and anxiety issues but I'm still not really sure how to like myself.
7?
I'm not gonna overrate me and say I'm a 10 or anything, but like I'm an older grown ass married man with kids who's relatively sure of his position in life?
I'm not gonna overrate me and say I'm a 10 or anything, but like I'm an older grown ass married man with kids who's relatively sure of his position in life?
a healthy 6-7
used to be a lot lower but as I get older I care a lot less about the stuff that used to get to me
used to be a lot lower but as I get older I care a lot less about the stuff that used to get to me
I feel like saying 10 would be arrogant, and having some self-doubt is healthy.
But it's a solid 8 or 9.
But it's a solid 8 or 9.
It would have been like a 3 or 4 a few years ago when I was in years long rut that had me working a job I didn't like, was very overweight and living in an area where I didn't really know anyone or have any major connections. The pandemic was an oddly good time for me in the sense that I was able to lose a ton of weight, get back into great shape and found one of the best jobs I've ever had along the way. That's done a lot to really help push me up to something like a 6 or 7. Nowhere near over issues like my anxiety and the like but I've got them far more under control. Feeling pretty good overall these days.
What's your definition of self-esteem?
For example: I know many things I am terrible at, and also know very well my many personal faults and shortcomings. I do my best to avoid those things and mitigate the faults. Many people think just acknowledging this is low self-esteem, "don't be so down on yourself" they say, but it's just a realistic assessment of my skills and self as a whole. I also know what I'm good at, but the list is much smaller. Does this make my self esteem low?
For example: I know many things I am terrible at, and also know very well my many personal faults and shortcomings. I do my best to avoid those things and mitigate the faults. Many people think just acknowledging this is low self-esteem, "don't be so down on yourself" they say, but it's just a realistic assessment of my skills and self as a whole. I also know what I'm good at, but the list is much smaller. Does this make my self esteem low?
I've always been pretty damn confident about myself. I love my family/friends and they all bolster my self esteem as well. I know how lucky I am to have everything I do, it really wasn't always this way.
It's easily a 10 for me. Married to a great wife, have a well paying job that I love and I'm in the best physical shape of my life.
I'm on the higher end of the scale, but it's hardly because I think I'm the hot shit or anything. I just don't care which I believe does wonders for your self-esteem.
Depends on the day. But for the most part I am comfortable with myself and like who I am. Probably 7-8. The biggest weakness has been how I feel about my body, but that is getting better since I started exercising regularly.
6-7 since I hit my thirties.
I think I spent my life from age 12 to 30 in the 2-3 range though. I thought I was hot shit as a little kid. EDIT: I think I got the boost when I hit my 30's because I just hit a breaking point about caring about what people think on a lot of things in my early 30's, and not entirely because of any newfound confidence elsewhere. Just kinda wrote off a lot of metrics of judging people as entirely superficial and didn't hold myself to those metrics anymore.
I think I spent my life from age 12 to 30 in the 2-3 range though. I thought I was hot shit as a little kid. EDIT: I think I got the boost when I hit my 30's because I just hit a breaking point about caring about what people think on a lot of things in my early 30's, and not entirely because of any newfound confidence elsewhere. Just kinda wrote off a lot of metrics of judging people as entirely superficial and didn't hold myself to those metrics anymore.
In college probably like a 2 or 3. Had a really miserable undergraduate experience for the most part.
Graduating, getting a decent job, moving out, a bit of weight gain, and starting antidepressants really helped over the past year. I'm probably at like 5-6 now if I had to give a number.
Graduating, getting a decent job, moving out, a bit of weight gain, and starting antidepressants really helped over the past year. I'm probably at like 5-6 now if I had to give a number.
7 right now.
Some years ago I would have said 4, but honestly, moving to another city 5 hours away of my birthplace, meeting new people, having a healthy diet and going frequently to the gym has helped me a lot to appreciate myself.
It's hard to admit that having a very normative body has helped a lot, as I feel desired and respected by others. And it's disgusting, after all I am a victim of the stereotypes of what being sexy is. They say we must love ourselves and screw the rest, but it's easy to say that when you have a normative body, and it's really hard to love yourself if nobody finds you attractive.
Sorry if this sounds very narcissist, ouch
Some years ago I would have said 4, but honestly, moving to another city 5 hours away of my birthplace, meeting new people, having a healthy diet and going frequently to the gym has helped me a lot to appreciate myself.
It's hard to admit that having a very normative body has helped a lot, as I feel desired and respected by others. And it's disgusting, after all I am a victim of the stereotypes of what being sexy is. They say we must love ourselves and screw the rest, but it's easy to say that when you have a normative body, and it's really hard to love yourself if nobody finds you attractive.
Sorry if this sounds very narcissist, ouch
10. I genuinely believe I'm a great person. Not a perfect person, but great. Attractive, confident, intelligent, educated, empathetic, and so forth. I can do or be anything I want to be.
When things go wrong in my life or I mess up, I like to say that it's "good for my ego."
When things go wrong in my life or I mess up, I like to say that it's "good for my ego."
Probably 2-3 range. I often I feel like I lucked my way into most of the good things in my life. I do not think I am attractive, however my wife seems to disagree with that. I think I am stupid.
I really struggle with self hatred. I know I'm a good person, but I know who I could be if my brain worked better and if I'd made different decisions over the years. I swing so wildly from feeling safe and good and loved to feeling hated, scared and frazzled and it holds me back so much. I enjoy my own company, I just can feel how much the world thinks I'm a fuck-up at any given point when other people are around… and it brings me down. I know in my bones I'm projecting that self hatred onto other people in hopes of confirmation bias, but it's still there. Makes me really anxious and it feeds on itself to a point where I'm not even close to a rational person.
I'd say a 7, almost 8.
Nothing is wrong, but I think throughout my life that's been about the ceiling for self esteem.
Nothing is wrong, but I think throughout my life that's been about the ceiling for self esteem.
Probably a 7, despite going through a tumultuous breakup recently, it's definitely way better than in my early 20s. I think getting older makes you care a lot less about certain things and how people perceive you.
I'm not totally satisfied with my career, but otherwise I generally like myself and think I'm on a good path. I really feel like I've become a lot more aware of my shortcomings over the past year and have more of an idea how to mitigate them than in the past.
I also feel better about my potential, and feel more confident than ever that many of my goals are within my capabilities, even if it'll take some work to get there.
I'm not totally satisfied with my career, but otherwise I generally like myself and think I'm on a good path. I really feel like I've become a lot more aware of my shortcomings over the past year and have more of an idea how to mitigate them than in the past.
I also feel better about my potential, and feel more confident than ever that many of my goals are within my capabilities, even if it'll take some work to get there.
1/10. I hate how I look, I hate how I sound, I hate how big I am (weight, height, and build wise), I hate how I'm completely and utterly inept socially, and I hate how I've barely done anything with my life. Not even good enough to, like, play video-games or watch TV lol.
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Self esteem was actively discouraged as sinful in my household growing up, so not surprisingly it isn't great a lot of the time.
I feel this. Thankfully, after years of therapy I've reached the point where I'm able to at least remind myself in my worst moments that those depths are completely out of proportion to reality and certainly not what anyone else thinks of me, but yeah, I still have dark moments where I think of myself as less than a person.
I dunno, in general I have pretty high self esteem with self efficacy in life and work, like if presented with a problem I'm confident I can figure it out. But with how my marriage ended my self esteem in relationships with women is at an all time low, wondering if something is wrong with me and if I'll be alone forever.
It used to be rock bottom for everything, but now it's only rock bottom for like one or two things.
I've become much more okay with failing (like, it's still not ideal but failures happen and the world doesn't end just because you messed up). I realize that anything that I saw in myself as "inherently bad" can be worked on and improved, and that not picking up a skill right away is fine and normal, it takes practice.
I still wonder about everything I say and do to other people - always worrying that I said or did the wrong thing to them. Usually I'm fine and did nothing wrong, but still. And I'm insecure about my weight, but most people say I'm fine.
So maybe a 7 or 8. In general. (I feel like I am ranking myself too high lol)
I've become much more okay with failing (like, it's still not ideal but failures happen and the world doesn't end just because you messed up). I realize that anything that I saw in myself as "inherently bad" can be worked on and improved, and that not picking up a skill right away is fine and normal, it takes practice.
I still wonder about everything I say and do to other people - always worrying that I said or did the wrong thing to them. Usually I'm fine and did nothing wrong, but still. And I'm insecure about my weight, but most people say I'm fine.
So maybe a 7 or 8. In general. (I feel like I am ranking myself too high lol)