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My ex is getting married and I’m getting feelings about it.
- Thread starter JuicyPlayer
- Start date
Could be worse, OP
One of my exes randomly got back in touch with me, visited my town, started talking about plans to move here and stuff
Disappeared after that visit. Turns out she was engaged the whole time and got married like a month later.
But nah, I know that feeling. It sucks pretty bad. It will pass, though, and give you an opportunity to find ways to turn those feelings into positive energy for your own growth.
One of my exes randomly got back in touch with me, visited my town, started talking about plans to move here and stuff
Disappeared after that visit. Turns out she was engaged the whole time and got married like a month later.
But nah, I know that feeling. It sucks pretty bad. It will pass, though, and give you an opportunity to find ways to turn those feelings into positive energy for your own growth.
Maybe it's because I've been hanging out with Asians, but I don't think so anymore. I know way too many people who got married in 6-12 months. My own best friend got engaged to a Japanese girl after a month. Part of me says "that's stupid" but I think that's actually the traditional way to do it across societies.
My style though is I'm at year 3.5 no marriage in sight. So I agree it feels fast to me...
you could always show up at the wedding and when the priest asks if anyone objects you give a heartfelt speech and she will go back to you. you can even use the wedding stuff there and just get married since everyones attended already. bam free wedding
You'll be fine, the feelings are understandable. Give it a few weeks and you'll be right as rain, also when you're reminiscing make sure you look at all the shit you didn't like about her that helped lead to the break up. For starters, that she would get wasted and make out with random dudes on weekends while you were together.
Crazy quick turnaround for her to go from single to getting married, if you guys are young you probably dodged a bullet.
Crazy quick turnaround for her to go from single to getting married, if you guys are young you probably dodged a bullet.
And now I'm askin', who do you belong to now?
Who you give that love to now?
Who you pullin' up on?
Who you gettin' sprung for now?
And what they got that I ain't got? 'Cause I got a lot
Don't make me run up on 'em, got me blowin' up their spot
'Cause I ain't got no business catchin' feelings anyway
I ain't got no business catchin' feelings
Who you give that love to now?
Who you pullin' up on?
Who you gettin' sprung for now?
And what they got that I ain't got? 'Cause I got a lot
Don't make me run up on 'em, got me blowin' up their spot
'Cause I ain't got no business catchin' feelings anyway
I ain't got no business catchin' feelings
OP
OP
It also doesn't help that she randomly followed me on Twitter even though we unfriended each other on Facebook
OP
OP
The making out with guys thing was actually before we got together but she would still go out and party with friends since I mostly worked on weekends.
Well I think my story tops yours OP, after a 20 year marriage my ex was married again less than a year after the divorce was finalized. Yeah it sucked.
User banned (3 days) for sexism
Just think how shit her new hubby is gonna feel when she goes out on the weekends... You just dodged a slutty bullet, be thankful
I'm mostly happily married for almost 10 years and my ex is not only 17 years in the past, but I'm not even attracted to her in the slightest — plus she broke my heart in the sorest, most painful ways possible. She's been married almost as long as we've been broken up.
That said, the memories of her make me miss her sometimes. How much fun we had before and during our relationship, how we would laugh together, the things I liked about her personality that my wife lacks, etc. We were best friends for years before getting together though.
That said, the memories of her make me miss her sometimes. How much fun we had before and during our relationship, how we would laugh together, the things I liked about her personality that my wife lacks, etc. We were best friends for years before getting together though.
Really weird that your friend (her friend?) told you that. Not that it matters because that relationship is in the past but just because she made out with random people when she was single doesn't mean she would while in a relationship, even while drunk. Like, ok, if she did that while in relationships before you, I would be spooked but you can make out with whoever you want when you're single. Not worth thinking about it because it will just poison your mind.
Also every time there's some thread on this site about a relationship that ended, there's always someone saying that they were cheating on the OP before the end. It's like a meme at this point.
OP
OP
That's rough, buddy.
Crazy fast turnaround; it almost feels as if your ex-spouse was seeing someone else while you were married.
slide into those DMs fam and homewreck that marriage. Shoot some ropes all over her husband's side of the bed
Serious advice: don't read into it. Be normal. Just don't even acknowledge it, it's not a big deal.
probably just hit "add all" on the add contacts page or something. I wouldn't worry about it. Just block her if you don't want her on there.
Nah, people cheating is just a meme.
Keep your head up OP. Just don't neglect or go overboard in compensation with the new gf while you're riding this nostalgia wave.
That, or she just hurried the fuck up in getting a new husband because she was scared about loneliness. Either way, that's rough.
Yeah I'm pretty sure she met her current husband online before the divorce.
Anyway, it was rough at the time, but it's the reality I had to accept. Life goes on.
Pretty quick marriage on her part.
Good luck OP, it's normal to have feelings about it. At least two of my ex's got married before me, though I was in a relationship in both cases. I had no interest in being with them, at all, but you still can't help but think about it.
Good luck OP, it's normal to have feelings about it. At least two of my ex's got married before me, though I was in a relationship in both cases. I had no interest in being with them, at all, but you still can't help but think about it.
Last Friday, my coworker told me that my ex is getting married and bought a house with her to be. He said it to get a jolt out of me and truth be told, I was only feeling happiness for her. I knew I wasn't the one for her. She treated me great and that are the feelings that I carry with me.
Hope for them to be happy, and look for happiness yourself. At least you have someone so that should make it easier. Plus my current GF is so fucking beautiful, that helps.
Hope for them to be happy, and look for happiness yourself. At least you have someone so that should make it easier. Plus my current GF is so fucking beautiful, that helps.
Go hang out with some close friends, play halo 2 or smash bros or whatever you guys like to do together.
Talk to them open and honestly about how you're feeling but don't be too dramatic and don't spend too long talking about it. After that, try to forget about it and enjoy some time with your homies.
Talk to them open and honestly about how you're feeling but don't be too dramatic and don't spend too long talking about it. After that, try to forget about it and enjoy some time with your homies.
Dude you GOT this. I have seen this work a million times in TV/ film:
Show up uninvited to the wedding, then when the moment comes for any final words, run up to the podium shouting uncontrollably, professing your undying love for the bride.
Please report back to us with news of your success. You can thank me later
Show up uninvited to the wedding, then when the moment comes for any final words, run up to the podium shouting uncontrollably, professing your undying love for the bride.
Please report back to us with news of your success. You can thank me later
Yep. When I saw his post I searched for eternal and here it is. Watch this OP.
3 years ago, my live-in girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me very randomly (she was off her bipolar medication, so that didn't help). She started dating my friend who I had known since I was 5. The three of us would hang out before this, so something was probably going on before the breakup.
They got married like a year after that. However, for or five months after our break-up, they were engaged and she called me one day to ask if we could be together again and was acting like she was going to kill herself otherwise.
What a mess. Now I'm in a much better relationship and I'm glad I don't have to mess with her crazy ass anymore.
Still, when I found out they were engaged, it fucking hurt.
They got married like a year after that. However, for or five months after our break-up, they were engaged and she called me one day to ask if we could be together again and was acting like she was going to kill herself otherwise.
What a mess. Now I'm in a much better relationship and I'm glad I don't have to mess with her crazy ass anymore.
Still, when I found out they were engaged, it fucking hurt.
Same happened to me. I was with a girl for 4 years, and we were engaged to be married. Ended up hitting a rough patch that the relationship didn't survive so we mutually decided to part ways. It ended as well as these things can and I felt good about the decision. A few years later Facebook became a thing and I found out she was married with kids. It was a huge punch to the gut, and all the good memories came pouring back in, even though I hadn't thought about her in some time. I felt miserable for a few days and then went about my life. Now that I am married, I know that the life I would have had with the ex wasnt the life I wanted.
You could try and disrupt the wedding?
The usually have a "any objections" part, and you could speak up. For example if you claimed that she was already married, then the wedding wouldn't take place.
This might make you feel a little bit better, though obviously everyone else would be slightly annoyed with you.
The usually have a "any objections" part, and you could speak up. For example if you claimed that she was already married, then the wedding wouldn't take place.
This might make you feel a little bit better, though obviously everyone else would be slightly annoyed with you.
At least she's not getting married to one of your childhood friends, whom you introduced her to. Count your blessings...
You'll get over it within a few years tops. Guaranteed or your time reading this post back!
When we look back at relationships, it's a hell of a lot easier to remember the good times and think of them through rose-tinted glasses. We're not living the actual experience, and we're not feeling how low the lows really were. You'll get over this quickly, OP. It's a shock or a jolt because yeah, you shared a time and place together, but that shit is over, dead, and gone. Live in the moment, OP.
Also: Quit being so damn paranoid about people cheating on you. That line of thought is poison and will infect EVERY relationship you have if you can't let go of a partner's choices while single that you heard about from another source (which is fucking odd). Would you want a girlfriend judging you like that? Why are you judging others like that?
Also: Quit being so damn paranoid about people cheating on you. That line of thought is poison and will infect EVERY relationship you have if you can't let go of a partner's choices while single that you heard about from another source (which is fucking odd). Would you want a girlfriend judging you like that? Why are you judging others like that?
OP
OP
You're absolutely right , when I think of these thoughts I'm also thinking to myself , "damn did I fuck this up". I was way too judgmental and paranoid when I shouldn't have been.
Are you talking about the meme of playing "Hello darkness my old friend" whenever something sad happens? That's actually from Arrested Development Season 4 (one of the few good things from that season lol). It was for sure making a reference to the Graduate but it became an recurring joke to play that song that season, and people memefied it.
I have. I saw pics of my exes wedding on facebook (we don't talk but we didn't unfriend one another). I got over her after several months after the break up back in 2012 but seeing the pics about a year and a half ago did have me feeling...something. It quickly passed though. Took about a week.
Had this dropped on me recently with an ex of mine. It made the emotional scars she left ache a little and stirred some ancient resentment. But I'm not a part of her life and she's not a part of mine - and I wouldn't really have it any other way. It just took some processing and then I got on with my life.
No, that's okay. You have a new GF, and she has a new BF and she gets married. Its normal to have recollections of the past on when you were still dating her and asking what if questions. Its always a bit difficult seeing who you used to love (And in a later post you admitted you wanted to marry her) be with someone you don't know, and hope he is good for her. I had the same feeling when my ex got a new BF. I just imagine that he makes her happy, and on some aspects he probably does that better than me. They are lessons that you learn and that you hopefully are applying now with your new GF.
Nothing wrong with a little love nostalgia OP. Just arrange a nice dinner or a movie night with your GF and dedicate your feelings to that evening (and night).
Oh for fuck sake XD. This got me way more than i thought it would. Such a dry take on his feelings man. Good comedic timing you have there with this one, norm. Thanks for the laughs XD
Pretty impressive to catch a flag in even the most uncontroversial thread you could have on Etcetera. Also sad that out of all people you had to make it - I see your name frequenly posting the boards :/