SilentEagle

Member
Jan 9, 2021
7,485
Yesterday, I was hanging out with my friends from high school. I have known them for over 10 years and I consider us to be close friends. We have a lot of fun when we hang out together, but they are strangely jealous and very materialistic. I invited a friend to eat out and he told me that it was expensive but he wouldn't mind but he said "You couldn't afford it". I don't understand why he said such a thing. My other friend was unnecessarily jealous. All three of us are 27 years old. But I get comments from outside that I look too young. More than 20 people said that I looked 20 years old at most. I'm not bragging about this, but when I said this while we were hanging out yesterday, a friend of mine got angry and claimed I was lying. Afterwards, he showed me a message from a girl saying "You look 22-23 years old" and said that I looked like I am in my 30s. Frankly, I think such a thing is very childish and I have become alienated from my friends. I enjoy hanging out with them, but they have different egos. I think I'll limit hanging out with them. After all these years I really don't have true friend.
 

Davidion

Charitable King
Member
Oct 27, 2017
6,787
it's entirely possible that your childhood friends are just shitty people. I definitely encourage you to go out to meet new folks regardless of whether your current friends are toxic.
 

RPGam3r

Member
Oct 27, 2017
14,600
I don't think any of my friends would say any of those things to me. Opposite actually, my friends constantly rib me bc I look younger than I am, they have for ages.
 

Derbel McDillet

▲ Legend ▲
Member
Nov 23, 2022
17,847
Wait you invited someone to dinner and they told you you couldn't afford it?

I'm going through this phase where I appreciated everyone I was able to keep in touch with over the years, especially since it's much harder to make new friends outside of establishments, but you do have to reexamine these relationship that were to be honestly mostly born out of the convivence of being around them everyday at school.

Some people you just grow apart from.
Some people enter new phases in their life and have less time for you and have to start prioritizing other things.

And then there's the ones that are likely, you know you've always been kind of shitty in a way that I was used to, but I can't really justify putting up with it anymore and don't know why I have all this time? For me that was several white friends who's humor was basically casual racism.

Just figure out the ones worth keeping and talk to them if you have a problem you want to get past.
 
Oct 25, 2017
20,829
Late 20's is a stretch of growth and wild change for people, which involves shedding a lot of old anchors from your teens and early 20's. That could mean jobs, careers and yes, friends. Sounds like you're right in the middle of it. Just do what feels right, your whole life is still ahead of you.
 
OP
OP
SilentEagle

SilentEagle

Member
Jan 9, 2021
7,485
it's entirely possible that your childhood friends are just shitty people. I definitely encourage you to go out to meet new folks regardless of whether your current friends are toxic.
Oh I definitely need more friends but when I get older it feels like it's more difficult to find new friends.
 
Oct 25, 2017
8,046
Yesterday, I was hanging out with my friends from high school. I have known them for over 10 years and I consider us to be close friends. We have a lot of fun when we hang out together, but they are strangely jealous and very materialistic. I invited a friend to eat out and he told me that it was expensive but he wouldn't mind but he said "You couldn't afford it". I don't understand why he said such a thing. My other friend was unnecessarily jealous. All three of us are 27 years old. But I get comments from outside that I look too young. More than 20 people said that I looked 20 years old at most. I'm not bragging about this, but when I said this while we were hanging out yesterday, a friend of mine got angry and claimed I was lying. Afterwards, he showed me a message from a girl saying "You look 22-23 years old" and said that I looked like I am in my 30s. Frankly, I think such a thing is very childish and I have become alienated from my friends. I enjoy hanging out with them, but they have different egos. I think I'll limit hanging out with them. After all these years I really don't have true friend.
A lot of people get weird hangups in their late 20s about looking old, being successful, i wouldn't take it to heart. sometimes you just have to accept people having a weird competitive streak if you otherwise get along with them. I think it happens in groups where you've known people for a long time and the social hierarchy gets switched up. Ie: hot friend going bald, poor friend getting a good job and making stacks now, for example I lost a lot of weight by lifting and old friends couldn't process me not being fat. people like putting you in a box.

I would say if your vibe isn't like that, it can be refreshing to find buddies who don't have that in them. Still hang out with your old boys every once in a while though.
 

bushmonkey

Member
Oct 29, 2017
5,800
They sound very toxic. I wouldn't worry about feeling like you don't have any true friends yet. Friends you made because you were forced together through high schools don't always translate to long lasting friendships. I'm in my 40s and most of my close friends I made in my late 20s / early 30s.
 
OP
OP
SilentEagle

SilentEagle

Member
Jan 9, 2021
7,485
A lot of people get weird hangups in their late 20s about looking old, being successful, i wouldn't take it to heart. sometimes you just have to accept people having a weird competitive streak if you otherwise get along with them. I think it happens in groups where you've known people for a long time and the social hierarchy gets switched up. Ie: hot friend going bald, poor friend getting a good job and making stacks now, for example I lost a lot of weight by lifting and old friends couldn't process me not being fat. people like putting you in a box.

I would say if your vibe isn't like that, it can be refreshing to find buddies who don't have that in them. Still hang out with your old boys every once in a while though.
Well I can't deny that they helped me a lot after breaking up with my narcissist ex. That's why I like them. But looks like I have to limit hang outs with them. I really need new friends.
 

Zeel

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,195
Late 20s kind of felt super anxious, like a second puberty, after I crossed into 30s life has been alot better personally.