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Am I being a big baby or is my friend being an asshole??
- Thread starter Thewonandonly
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I wouldn't call a lie to make yourself not look like a complete asshole a conspiracy, but I agree that it doesn't make sense to discuss this further unless OP clears this up. As I already said, if she initiated, this is not a big deal.
As long as OP doesn't feel angry towards the woman he had feelings for, or think she's "to blame" or whatever, then I have no issues with the OP.
His friend knew he had feelings for her and chose to make it a competition despite (based on the OP's words, anyway) not really having any feelings for her prior to this. The friend is free to make that choice, but it's kind of an insensitive move IMO. Especially if it's not like OP was hemming and hawing and unwilling to take a shot at things with her.
She ultimately chose his friend and there's nothing wrong with her doing so. She didn't owe OP anything. But it's arguable that his friend did.
His friend knew he had feelings for her and chose to make it a competition despite (based on the OP's words, anyway) not really having any feelings for her prior to this. The friend is free to make that choice, but it's kind of an insensitive move IMO. Especially if it's not like OP was hemming and hawing and unwilling to take a shot at things with her.
She ultimately chose his friend and there's nothing wrong with her doing so. She didn't owe OP anything. But it's arguable that his friend did.
OP
OP
Well I have my day one from clear back in high school so a dude I met at work no matter how much I like him ain't going to beat a friendship that's been going strong for 10 years
I like when people are like "lol try being confident"
As if confidence with women is some fucking switch you can just flip on one day.
Your friend isn't wrong for dating her but he was absolutely a dick about it. You're right to be pissed off at him for the way he handled it.
As if confidence with women is some fucking switch you can just flip on one day.
Your friend isn't wrong for dating her but he was absolutely a dick about it. You're right to be pissed off at him for the way he handled it.
Should have been more aggressive and asked her out sooner. Also at least your friend gave you a heads up even though I don't think it was a dick move to say "let the best man win" it's better than finding out they've been hanging out together without you knowing even though that wouldn't be any if your business anyways as they can do whatever they want.
Can't you just ask her out on a different day? If she backs out again then she's just not into you. Move on.
From what you said she went after him correct? But saying "let the best man win" was a complete dick move. He's making this into a competition and it's gross. I wonder how Bailey would feel if she knew he texted that to you?
From what you said she went after him correct? But saying "let the best man win" was a complete dick move. He's making this into a competition and it's gross. I wonder how Bailey would feel if she knew he texted that to you?
OP
OP
Fuck part of me wants them to last that long becuase I will totally fucking do that :P
She's a human being she's free to choose whomever she wants to. Was your friend a bit of a jerk for trying to get with her when he knew you were interested? Ya a bit but you are making a way bigger deal out of this than it actually is. So long as he's actually serious about dating her and not just doing it to screw with you it's really none of your concern.
If anything if he really is your closest friend you should be wishing him all the best with his relationship and not pouting like a petulant child. Put all that wasted energy to use and focus on finding someone else instead. This behavior you're pulling now sure as hell isn't endearing you to her or anyone else. You're making a fool out of yourself
If anything if he really is your closest friend you should be wishing him all the best with his relationship and not pouting like a petulant child. Put all that wasted energy to use and focus on finding someone else instead. This behavior you're pulling now sure as hell isn't endearing you to her or anyone else. You're making a fool out of yourself
You told your friend in advance that you liked this particular person.
Your friend then:
- Accepted advances from someone he knew that you liked
- Notified you that he was recieving advances
- Essentially told you that he values this potential relationship more than your existing friendship
- Expects you to be cool with his blatant disregard for your feelings
oh no people on the internet think he's a fool
it's unlikely he's being an ass about it in real life, he's just bummed and wanted to vent, and people fucking tore him to pieces (edit: not your post, in general), because that's apparently what we do here
It was a problem at the old place too, but people turn into absolute savages on the subject of dating and romance. I wouldn't recommend anyone look for serious relationship advice on this forum.
He's not a friend OP. A friend allows you to make the first move as you had already talked to him about her.
This is how my friendships worked back in the day anyway. We would have never said something like "may the best man win". Friends don't compete for the same girl. Now if she had turned you down, then he can try his hand as he gave you the respect to try yourself.
This is how my friendships worked back in the day anyway. We would have never said something like "may the best man win". Friends don't compete for the same girl. Now if she had turned you down, then he can try his hand as he gave you the respect to try yourself.
You have a few choices OP:
A) Cry
B) Shrug it off and move on
C) Embrace your villian origin story and transform into Pussy Slayer: The Benevolent Pussy God. Pull up on Eric and Bailey with a chick who is wayyyyyyyyy badder than Bailey, preferably on a double date. Then kiss Eric on the cheek when the night is over and thank him for making you a better man.
The good news is there are a billion more women in this world and prob 80% are better than Bailey anyway.
A) Cry
B) Shrug it off and move on
C) Embrace your villian origin story and transform into Pussy Slayer: The Benevolent Pussy God. Pull up on Eric and Bailey with a chick who is wayyyyyyyyy badder than Bailey, preferably on a double date. Then kiss Eric on the cheek when the night is over and thank him for making you a better man.
The good news is there are a billion more women in this world and prob 80% are better than Bailey anyway.
Pouting and giving your best friend the silent treatment is straight up childish and does nothing but make him look worse to everyone else hence "a fool." Unless you think that behavior is somehow making him look better for it?
OP
OP
Ya and that's some I'm trying my to overcome. I'm always slow on the jump and it's fucked me over many times. I'm getting better at it now but I still have a long way to go :P
Pretty much my sentiment when you take the coworker aspect out of it.
But an important lesson here is to not take so long, maybe not with someone just out of a relationship, but in general, shouldn't take longer than a week.
You Mr. Mature Adult.
OP
OP
Well she knew him and they talked at work but he never seems interested in her. He told me that I shouldn't go for fellow associats and that he never would. So it caught me off guard pretty hard. Also she stated flirting with him but she was flirting with me at work to I'm just really not good with cues and it sucks
Friends and family? A therapist? Someone who has a more complete view of the situation and people involved instead of randoms on a video game forum?
This sandpaper gets it done. I guess he sees me as an Eric.
How would a therapist have a complete view? How does a family member?
Everything is competition, if you don't make the move someone else will. That's life. It can suck, and not in the good way if your too slow.
That sounds like an exageration, and I don't really know 4chan, but this place is overall very negative yeah, like GAF was. There are a lot of cocksure jerks here.
OP: your friend is a bit of a dick, but not worth breaking a friendship over, I'd say. depending on the level of your friendship.
OP
OP
20 and 21 haha so we still youngins that's why it happened so quick...
talking about other posters is shitty, especially ones who can't hear me, but bobo takes things... personally, in my experience. swell dude, i'm sure, and there's nothing wrong with posting passionately, but don't get scraped up by it or offended or anything
User Banned (5 Days) : Sexist commentary. Women are not a prize to be earned.
Be proud, op. Not bitter.
You have to put in work to earn the pussy you get. You don't get it easy. Eat the gym.
You have to put in work to earn the pussy you get. You don't get it easy. Eat the gym.
She flirted with Eric. Is Eric supposed to say, "I like you, Hailey, and you like me, but OP liked you first and told me so I gotta be a bro and let you date him."
And then Hailey goes, "What about my feelings?"
Then Eric ends it with, "I can't do this to OP, just date him regardless of your feelings. Don't do anything you want, do what he wants."
Don't even count on your ten year friendship to hold up. I just lost one of fourteen years. Shit can go south in a month.
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