My wife is preggers! With our first kiddo. A wee bit freaked out. Time to read all the pregnancy books. I was looking for a pregnancy ot or something but there doesn't appear to be one. Ah well.
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ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
- Thread starter Hollywood Duo
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If I can ask, how long did you wait to "get back on the horse"? The baby didn't exactly leave on its own and required medical attention to extract... So the doctor is telling us 2 cycles, but damn if we're not both chomping at the bit to try again. We're not exactly young and it took us over a year to conceive the first time... Every day that goes by feels like an eternity of misery when we were literally on emotional highs for the last two months.
I appreciate all the kind words, thank you.
We're not giving up, we're just in a holding pattern, waiting for another green light to go again.
Granted, I'm not sure I can go through another miscarriage. This has been the worst time in my life.
We're largely hurting in secret, no one except our immediate family members knew we were expecting and all of them have multiple children with no issues popping kid after kid out... So, they're trying their best to be comforting, but it's like "easy for you to say 'everything is going to be okay', you've all got tons of kids already."
Yeah I'm not taking this well at all.
I'm going to be an actual wreck on father's day.
Nobody talks about miscarriages despite how common they are.
I was certain we would have one or have to get an abortion due to this that or the other thing due to our ages (and in fact did have an ultrasound scare), so didn't refer to the embryo as a baby or even consider names until the third trimester— as if it would make losing the pregnancy any easier but I was trying to steel myself against it.
There is no right or wrong amount or way of grief over this.
Family friends ended up adopting after many bouts of infertility and miscarriage.
I was certain we would have one or have to get an abortion due to this that or the other thing due to our ages (and in fact did have an ultrasound scare), so didn't refer to the embryo as a baby or even consider names until the third trimester— as if it would make losing the pregnancy any easier but I was trying to steel myself against it.
There is no right or wrong amount or way of grief over this.
Family friends ended up adopting after many bouts of infertility and miscarriage.
My wife had a liquid miscarriage so it really didn't "take" and didn't require anything medical. It likely happened earlier than 8 weeks or so but that's when we found out about it. Not quite comparable to your situation, especially since it took you a year to conceive the first time. We're very lucky in that way. So we basically just started again after a bit of gut punch feelings when it happened. When ours happened, because it happened so early, too, we were worried my wife would have some issues having a pregnancy "stick" past that sort of thing. Luckily, in hindsight, those worries were unfounded.
I'm so sorry you guys have to go through that, though. As I said I know at least sort of how it feels, but probably not quite to the extent that you do. I'm really hoping you guys can get there at some point sooner rather than later.
And I do wish this was a subject more people could and would talk about in the open so that others could know the situations people like you go through and be even more grateful if things did go smoothly.
Best of luck and love. I really hope to see you posting in here at some point.
I am now officially a member. My son was born 11.52 yesterday, CET. He is currently smacking his lips while lying on my chest. His mother is a Trooper, she fought so hard to deliver. Changed diapers twice by myself, poo included, and loved the achievement.
Congrats and welcome to the time warp. It's been six weeks and two days for us that feel both like maybe five minutes but also ten years.
So I'm now a Father our little girl decided she wanted to come out 7 Weeks early... She's well for her age and luckely is big for W33. Now I'm scrambling a bit to get everything ready, even though I probably don't need to hurry to much since, she will need some time in the hospital.
I'm just looking into babyphones, and I'm really not sure for what to go, I'm thinking we don't need one with a cam, and just audio would be enough..
And congrats Tranq
I'm just looking into babyphones, and I'm really not sure for what to go, I'm thinking we don't need one with a cam, and just audio would be enough..
And congrats Tranq
Get one with a camera. Do it. For the nightmares.
Congrats and welcome to the club!
Congrats to all the new parents!
I prefer both audio and video. Video isn't important in the first few months because the kid barely moves, but after a while a video feed becomes useful/amusing because you start catching the kid sleeping or fidgeting in the weirdest ways, and you can do it without waking the kid. The night vision light/cam that most baby monitors come with is very useful.
The first time my kid slept through the night, I snuck out of our room and checked on him through the baby monitor to make sure he was okay. I could have looked at him directly, but I didn't want to risk waking him up.
I prefer both audio and video. Video isn't important in the first few months because the kid barely moves, but after a while a video feed becomes useful/amusing because you start catching the kid sleeping or fidgeting in the weirdest ways, and you can do it without waking the kid. The night vision light/cam that most baby monitors come with is very useful.
The first time my kid slept through the night, I snuck out of our room and checked on him through the baby monitor to make sure he was okay. I could have looked at him directly, but I didn't want to risk waking him up.
Congrats, new parents!
Also, this might be E3 hype talking, but I need to figure out a way to play DMC5. Maybe it'll be time for early bedtime when that comes out.
Also, this might be E3 hype talking, but I need to figure out a way to play DMC5. Maybe it'll be time for early bedtime when that comes out.
If you have an old phone sitting around you can repurpose it into a monitor for just a couple bucks. We had an old iPhone 5S just sitting in a drawer and it's been perfectly fine with like a $4 app.
Has anyone else gotten oddly aware of their health after having a kid? I'm not sure if I'm being weird or not.
Basically, having a kid has made me much more aware of my safety and mortality. I've realized is that the worst thing I could do (not literally, but you know what I mean) to my kid is not be there for him as he grows up. If I follow that thought, then me doing anything dangerous or unhealthy is, by extension, indirectly harmful, or at least irresponsible, to my kid because it increases the likelihood of him losing his father early. That means that my health is a responsibility that doesn't just need to be kept for my sake anymore, but also for my kid's sake. It's a much bigger mental burden than when it's just me.
Am I being weird or morbid?
Basically, having a kid has made me much more aware of my safety and mortality. I've realized is that the worst thing I could do (not literally, but you know what I mean) to my kid is not be there for him as he grows up. If I follow that thought, then me doing anything dangerous or unhealthy is, by extension, indirectly harmful, or at least irresponsible, to my kid because it increases the likelihood of him losing his father early. That means that my health is a responsibility that doesn't just need to be kept for my sake anymore, but also for my kid's sake. It's a much bigger mental burden than when it's just me.
Am I being weird or morbid?
I feel similarly. My dad passed away when I was a baby, and I wouldn't want my son to grow up without his father like I did.
At what age can I let my 11 month old bite the jalapeños she's intent on ripping off the plant in our house? In my mind this would discourage such behaviour but I am also a little terrified of the hurty-burny mouth pain and the hurty-burnt diarrhea, both of which will become my problem.
She seems to like curry just fine so it may backfire but the peppers are hotter.
She seems to like curry just fine so it may backfire but the peppers are hotter.
It's not just you. I don't think about my personal health so much, but my mortality is in neon lights right now. The idea of possibly checking out early and not being able to protect my kids/see them to adulthood haunts me. It's hella weird and scary. Of course, worrying about losing them is 1000x more scary. :(
25? Mine's 2+ and likes curry/a bit of spice, so when she asked to 'smell' the chili spice (she 'helps' cook) I stupidly took the lid off for a sniff but instead she inhaled a bunch. I felt horrible. The next day I gave her some of the fresh pizza I'd made for dinner. It had chilies on it. I was the worst mom on the planet that day too. :(
I have a habit of paying my kids to eat spicy foods, mostly salsas and kimchi. It's both amusingly hilarious as well as seems to egg them on. Youngest has probably been doing it since she was 7? We'll see if it backfires at some point and I see them on some chili-eating YT channel, throwing up in pain. Builds character!
I have no idea what to do with my 5 y/o. He's such a good kid, but holy hell does he not listen. We'll ask him to do something two, three, four times before resorting to yelling, and then maybe he'll do what's asked of him.
We always start our requests as a "hey, let's start picking up your toys so you can have your bedtime snack." Nope. Another friendly "heeeey... " Then a slightly more stern request, then an order, then an order with a threat of no bedtime snack. By then, he's spinning in circles, singing. Then we're nearly shouting.
We don't like shouting at the little guy :/ What do you do when friendly requests, friendly orders, not super friendly orders, and removal of toys/priviledges are useless? He just does what he wants, and doesn't seem to care when he loses something he likes.
We always start our requests as a "hey, let's start picking up your toys so you can have your bedtime snack." Nope. Another friendly "heeeey... " Then a slightly more stern request, then an order, then an order with a threat of no bedtime snack. By then, he's spinning in circles, singing. Then we're nearly shouting.
We don't like shouting at the little guy :/ What do you do when friendly requests, friendly orders, not super friendly orders, and removal of toys/priviledges are useless? He just does what he wants, and doesn't seem to care when he loses something he likes.
Hey all! It's been a while and a bit of a roller coaster for the first year of my daughters life but she turned 1 last week and it's been pretty magical. She had a little bit of chocolate ice cream cake, literally 1/8th of a spoon, and once she got on the floor she started walking across the floor with a confidence I've never seen before. Now she walks to everything. It's been wild.
Now while that's all well and good, she has been going into a phase I'm having a hard time dealing with, or rather my wife is. I work 4 days a week and watch my daughter 1 day of the weekday. My wife used to work 5 days a week at home and it was super stressful on her. At this stage to alleviate a lot of that stress, she's gone part time and only goes into the office 2 days a week and the rest of the days is on mom duty. My daughter and her have a good time, as good as can be with a teething toddler, but she's gotten into a phase when when I come home she makes a bee line for me. Cute, but if I ever leave the room to say leave the bathroom. She throws a fit. My wife tries to console her but she's not having it. I leave for work now, she goes ballistic. I go to the gym, the store, etc etc. The same. We were at a family bbq for Father's Day and the only times she's be calm and okay with my wife is if she doesn't see me. As soon as she spots me, shes climbing out of my wife's arms.
She does somewhat similar to my wife's mother as well. Though not to the degree she does it with me. It's really starting to fuck with my wife and make her wonder if all the stress they went through together while she was raising her and working at home had some type of effect on their relationship. We both agree that she's just in a phase, it that doesn't make her feel any better currently and I'm having a rough time figuring out how to handle it. Pep talks to assure her our daughter loves her to bits have lost their luster.
Anyone experience similar?
Now while that's all well and good, she has been going into a phase I'm having a hard time dealing with, or rather my wife is. I work 4 days a week and watch my daughter 1 day of the weekday. My wife used to work 5 days a week at home and it was super stressful on her. At this stage to alleviate a lot of that stress, she's gone part time and only goes into the office 2 days a week and the rest of the days is on mom duty. My daughter and her have a good time, as good as can be with a teething toddler, but she's gotten into a phase when when I come home she makes a bee line for me. Cute, but if I ever leave the room to say leave the bathroom. She throws a fit. My wife tries to console her but she's not having it. I leave for work now, she goes ballistic. I go to the gym, the store, etc etc. The same. We were at a family bbq for Father's Day and the only times she's be calm and okay with my wife is if she doesn't see me. As soon as she spots me, shes climbing out of my wife's arms.
She does somewhat similar to my wife's mother as well. Though not to the degree she does it with me. It's really starting to fuck with my wife and make her wonder if all the stress they went through together while she was raising her and working at home had some type of effect on their relationship. We both agree that she's just in a phase, it that doesn't make her feel any better currently and I'm having a rough time figuring out how to handle it. Pep talks to assure her our daughter loves her to bits have lost their luster.
Anyone experience similar?
My daughter has always been a daddy's girl. I've been a stay at home mom the entire time she's been alive, I'm always there. Daddy goes to work and only sees her a couple hours a day and when he's there he's playing with her while I don't play with her the entire time I'm with her, so I'm boring. Daddy is fun. For eighteen months she called me Daddy and refused to say Mommy. It sucks. I wasn't being a bad mom, but Daddy was the shit. Kids have favorites, most people do, but unlike an adult they don't know how to hide that and they are very in your face about preference. It's hard, especially when you're with her all day and you think you've had an amazing day and then as soon as the chosen one enters the room your thrown away like garbage, but I eventually learned to accept it. It's actually nice not having her crawl all over me when he's home and some of the parenting pressure is taken off because she'd rather be with him. Still hurts occasionally, especially when my son sometimes decides that Daddy is cooler than Mommy, but oh well. My husband is pretty awesome and most of the time I prefer his company to theirs too lol
For starters, it's a maturity thing. There's a good chance he just isn't capable of following orders when it's something he doesn't want to do. It can be difficult to understand when he's so good at taking direction at other times. My wife is struggling with this exact same thing with our 4 year old.
What works for me is to change my approach. When he isn't responding to the initial "time to pick up your toys", I'll try something else. I might get on his level and explain that picking up his toys quickly is in his best interest. I might offer help (and only help, I'm not doing it for him) if the job seems too daunting for the little guy. I find this works really well because you can talk or joke with him which helps keep him on task and shows him you're willing to offer a handif he needs it. If he's really being difficult, sometimes I'll switch to another task on his bedtime chart and come back to cleaning. Finally, if all that fails, he starts losing things. He loses his bedtime story and if that still doesn't get him to pick up, I tell him every toy I pick up he loses for the next day (an eternity in kid time). I know you said he doesn't care about losing things (my son did the same) but when he realized he didn't have any toys to play with one day, he was crushed. It was something he remembered the next time I told him I'd take his toys.
If he's anything like my son, last thing you want to do is lord over him because then he'll just shut you out. That's when spinning in circles, singing, and ignoring kicks in. It also helps to tag team any difficult moments so when one of you is about to lose your cool, you can tag out and take a minute to calm down. Invoking your "dad voice" is fine but yelling never helps.
Dropped off since I last posted in here at 1~ month and we're about 3 months old now!
Wanted to report that everyone who recommended the Rock 'n' Play was right. Our little girl is routinely sleeping 9+ hours through the night now away from mommy. We're using white noise and a pacifier too. Feels great to be able to put her to bed and hang out with the wife for a couple hours before bed.
This sounds hilarious and I will definitely try doing it once my kid is old enough :lol:
Wanted to report that everyone who recommended the Rock 'n' Play was right. Our little girl is routinely sleeping 9+ hours through the night now away from mommy. We're using white noise and a pacifier too. Feels great to be able to put her to bed and hang out with the wife for a couple hours before bed.
This sounds hilarious and I will definitely try doing it once my kid is old enough :lol:
What do you do if your kid refuses to eat something? Our kid likes some solids and will eat them just fine, but has a growing list of foods that he refuses. Basically we're having trouble getting him to warm up to savoury foods instead of sweet ones (like fruits and sweet potatoes).
Obviously we don't want to force him to eat, but we don't want him to grow into a picky eater either.
Obviously we don't want to force him to eat, but we don't want him to grow into a picky eater either.
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My perfect life of two boys nursing/eating well and sleeping well came to an abrupt end last week.
My oldest (3 in August) started this thing where he wakes up at midnight/2 AM repeatedly and cries or comes into our room wanting songs, then after getting or not getting them, says "I'm not tired!" or "There's something scary" in places he can't even see and won't go to bed. I just got uninterrupted sleep for the first time in over a week last night, and that's because I was on business travel.
Meanwhile, my wife tells me that our 8 month old son has been somewhat scared off nursing. He won't latch well, and she's had to feed him a bottle at least once today (will probably go twice). Looks like we'll be going to formula, which is fine. We've been living within our means and can spend the money needed for formula until he gets to 12 months.
It's been a LONG time since I've felt this level of fatigue, to be honest, so I thought I'd commiserate with you all. I still love being a dad and our boys are really quite good, but it's been a pretty sudden shock to have both things hit at once, so it's draining.
Big kudos to all of you who have been going through this kind of life for months and have stuck it out with a positive attitude. You're the real MVP.
My oldest (3 in August) started this thing where he wakes up at midnight/2 AM repeatedly and cries or comes into our room wanting songs, then after getting or not getting them, says "I'm not tired!" or "There's something scary" in places he can't even see and won't go to bed. I just got uninterrupted sleep for the first time in over a week last night, and that's because I was on business travel.
Meanwhile, my wife tells me that our 8 month old son has been somewhat scared off nursing. He won't latch well, and she's had to feed him a bottle at least once today (will probably go twice). Looks like we'll be going to formula, which is fine. We've been living within our means and can spend the money needed for formula until he gets to 12 months.
It's been a LONG time since I've felt this level of fatigue, to be honest, so I thought I'd commiserate with you all. I still love being a dad and our boys are really quite good, but it's been a pretty sudden shock to have both things hit at once, so it's draining.
Big kudos to all of you who have been going through this kind of life for months and have stuck it out with a positive attitude. You're the real MVP.
I wouldn't worry too much about it, as long as you have a variety of foods on the table and your kid is at least willing to try "new" foods. Palates change pretty frequently.
I suppose it also depends on how old the child is -- I'm assuming infant to toddler age.
My understanding is that food is really just supplemental/for training before age 1 anyway. Breastfeeding is ideal for nutrition up to 12 mo and recommended (at least in part) up to 24 mo.
Keep trying food, but don't worry about an infant becoming a picky eater.
Keep trying food, but don't worry about an infant becoming a picky eater.
Yeah at that age there's no rational basis for it or "discussion" to have. In general for the first several years you really just want to avoid making a fuss of things and turning it into an issue as such.
Josie had her two-month checkup today and everything seems to be going really well. She's ahead of the game in social/verbal skills and apparently has really good neck/head control for her age. And she's 14.4lbs and 24.5''! Which is like 99% weight and 95% height. She's already kinda straining some of the smaller fitting (Gerber-brand mostly) 6 month old sleepers. My wife and I are both pretty tall so I wouldn't be surprised if she ends up that way as well, but for right now she's going through our stock of clothes much faster than we had anticipated. Also she's just hard to hold for long periods of time lol. A lot of her weight seems to be concentrated in her cheeks, which are beyond pinchable.
This is almost the exact thing we have been going through. 3 year old beginning to call periodically and a 7 month old waking up twice a night.
Apparently you can help get kids (and adults) to warm up to foods by giving tiny amounts (pea-sized) regularly over many consecutive days. Haven't tried it yet— the only things our 11.5mo doesn't like aren't things we make regularly.
Welp, my sister's water just broke at 33 weeks, and our flight to her for the family reunion is tomorrow. Wahey?
Our little girl just learned how to hit the high notes. Crying sessions just became 100x more fun!
Oof, hope everything goes okay!
You got what many couples are looking for long-term on the first try, congrats! Hope your government has some decent supports for this kind of situation or that you're well off, I would imagine twins to be quite a financial shock.
Oof, hope everything goes okay!
You got what many couples are looking for long-term on the first try, congrats! Hope your government has some decent supports for this kind of situation or that you're well off, I would imagine twins to be quite a financial shock.
Yeah, my wife was super worried she wasn't even going to be able to have one due to age and other conditions, but it happened almost immediately after we started trying without any type of fertility drugs or the likes. She is really small, about 100lbs so the thought of pregnancy really scared her and we were strongly considering having one of our own and adopting a second (or two if we couldn't have one). Fortunately all the genetic testing came back great today and got us the genders as well :) So getting it all done at once is a bit of a blessing although she's very worried about her small size with twins! Beyond wanting b/g once we found out we had twins on the way, from what I read b/g twin combination is ideal too for their social development.
We're in good shape financially, we'll be able to hire a nanny to help out instead of doing day care, but my current job beyond a year at a time is iffy as I'm in a bit of a start up situation at a new job and my position depends on the companies success (which depends on how good I do my job...)...that is what I'm most stressed about, not the actual having twins part. It'll most certainly cause a massive dent in our retirement goals but that's OK.
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