I was at a gaming event with a lady friend of mine, & booy do we (men) still got a long way to go...

Eh? If these are prominent members of some pro-gaming circles, out them. This kind of behaviour is not acceptable and should not be brushed away as "I don't want to get anyone in trouble". They have no place in pro-gaming if they can't keep their dick pics and sex begging to themselves.

Let me guess...fighting games?

Please expose these people. Why does this shit continue to fester in our community? Simple, because the perpetrators feel safe to do so. And they won't stop until its not safe for them to do so.

Jesus, that's so damn gross and embarrassing. Being a woman and enjoying this hobby sounds tough as hell, not that I'm all that surprised tho but still.

Stuff like this is why I generally avoid gamers IRL, never speaking about games with people who aren't close to me let alone attending any sort of event (outside of concerts I guess).

I'd ask you to expose these guys too but that's on your friend, yeah. Not only it's her experience but it could bring her unwanted attention too.

Johnny Cage itS said:

Funny enough she has the thickest of all skins... she seemed clearly bothered but some of these advances, but not to a point to be discourage from pursuing her interest in gaming and the scene. I honestly can't imagine 80% of other women in her situation to have her confidence and nerves of steel though .

It's easy for some of us to roll our eyes in these forums every time there's a discussion about women trying to find their place in gaming communities etc... ( I've been guilty of that) but you don't need to go further than a gaming event/convention to see some seriously "thirsty" dudes just giving the rest of us guys a horrible rep.

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I'm glad you posted this thread, OP. If it makes just one person reflect on their own attitude and approach then it's worthwhile.

It's so tough. What can you do other than call it out when you see it and try to help people understand what it's like to be on the receiving end and why it's unacceptable. I think for many people acting that way it's not malicious, it's more a lack of empathy and understanding... So helping to spread that understanding is a good thing.

I'm a dad to young boys. My wife and I are going to make a real effort to raise them "right", to be respectful of anyone regardless of gender, race, sexuality, etc. so it's something I've been thinking a lot about.

Not sure what my overall point is... Just empathising with your point of view I guess.

This happens everyhwere OP.
Try going to modern event/festival with attractive female friends and you will either leave early or be asked to act like bouncer.

It's pleasant to think of progress as actually occuring in this area, but consider things today may be actively worse in some ways.

Johnny Cage itS said:

she is also familiar with some of these pro gamers through social media etc...so we both tagged along... and after the first day, the amount of shit she told me some guys said to her, texted her, snapped her etc. blew my fuckin mind... She's not North American and it's fair to say (culturally) she's a bit laxed and passive when it comes to advances, she knows how to brush guys off with the minimal drama or scene (bless her)

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They wouldn't do it if it didn't work - You can be sure your friend isn't the only one they write with.
ProGamers these days are in the scene celebrities and they abuse it like the typical "rockstar going backstage with the groupie" scenario especially if the guys are good looking too.
The Pros of really popular games get probably as many boob/naked pictures in return compared to the amount of dick pictures they send out.


There are for example female Twitch Streamers that hooked up/dated with Pros just to grow their channels/personal career over the years which sometimes backfired when strip videos or even more explicit stuff came to daylight.
The same with becoming the girlfriend of a really big streamer for the same reasons.
Its the principle of one hand washes the other in those cases.

These Pros that wrote with your friend that day more than likely had her as a first choice if she is really that attractive as you say.
But you can bet they didn't sleep alone that night.

LightEntite said:

men from every community do this

gaming events didn't invent dick pics lol



next time just post "pics or it didn't happen"

at least then you might get a laugh

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It's not limited to gaming but it's certainly not all men either.

I'll eat my hat if the gaming community isn't a higher rate offender in this area and that's the point. The idea it's "all equal" is nonsense.

Opa-Pa said:

Jesus, that's so damn gross and embarrassing. Being a woman and enjoying this hobby sounds tough as hell, not that I'm all that surprised tho but still.

Stuff like this is why I generally avoid gamers IRL, never speaking about games with people who aren't close to me let alone attending any sort of event (outside of concerts I guess).

I'd ask you to expose these guys too but that's on your friend, yeah. Not only it's her experience but it could bring her unwanted attention too.

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It's a tough spot. On the one hand, it's really cool to go to conventions where you're around fellow fans of *thing*, but that sense of camaraderie and inclusivity goes out the fucking window with this harassment that women have to consistently deal with at these things. It's pretty mind-boggling that these guys who harass can't realize how much they undermine the whole point of the damn convention by being pigs.

Yea, I kinda hope she exposes them.

I'm a dude and a horn dog, but it's possible to not be a thirsty creep about it.

One of my exes(who is one of my best friends now), showed me her fb messages. She gets random messages/friend requests from dudes she doesn't even know. Some of them outright say, "I would love to fuck you" and other variations of that. It's so crazy.

Lurcharound said:

It's not limited to gaming but it's certainly not all men either.

I'll eat my hat if the gaming community isn't a higher rate offender in this area and that's the point. The idea it's "all equal" is nonsense.

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More than sports athletes stars? I doubt it

Johnny Cage itS said:

Guys please stop with the "Name and shame" "Expose" "Call the Poh-lease" "Sexual harassment" nonsense.

You can call out some men for their shitty behavior without any drama .

Besides, I cannot stress enough, I got this info second hand from her.. Meaning it's not my place to point fingers or take actions. If she ever felt inclined to take action, I would 100% support her...She can more than hold her own ... But until then, me doing anything more than making this thread about a general observation of this scene is me stepping out of line, and overreaching my boundaries. So please let's cut this nonsense with ...

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I understand you don't want to have anything to do with this, but as others have said this is no nonsense.

All you and your friend are doing with your inaction is normalising this behaviour and this is something that nobody wants. I'm sure some inaproppriate messages are not enough to pin someone down but dick-pics are clearly crossing the line. If something like this happens again in the future tell your friend to at least go to the event management so that this human trash can at least get the full Roseanne-treatment.

fanboy said:

Honestly, how many of you guys were opening this thread expecting a photo of the girl? :D yeah, I know how you think you pervs :D

PS: Sorry for her experience with this men, must be horrible being a beautiful women with dudes like this around.

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@topic: Yeah some dudes can be really fucked. Guys like these feel somehow like they will be rewarded with sex after sending dick pix (which is stupid enough as is), and then get really upset when their absolutely brilliant plan doesn't get them laid.

It's embarassing stuff, really, and just shows how entitled some guys feel to some else's vagina just because they did things to "win" their affection like it's some sorta video game, even if the whole winning stuff is just in their head as I know absolutely no girl that gets off to dick pix from strangers.

Lurcharound said:

It's not limited to gaming but it's certainly not all men either.

The idea it's "all equal" is nonsense.

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...what?

the gaming community is probably one of the lowest, TBH. If we're going off of stereotypes, then your "typical gamer" probably doesn't have enough confidence to slide into DMs and send dick pics.....

TheZodiacAge said:

They wouldn't do it if it didn't work - You can be sure your friend isn't the only one they write with.
ProGamers these days are in the scene celebrities and they abuse it like the typical "rockstar going backstage with the groupie" scenario especially if the guys are good looking too.
The Pros of really popular games get probably as many boob/naked pictures in return compared to the amount of dick pictures they send out.


There are for example female Twitch Streamers that hooked up/dated with Pros just to grow their channels/personal career over the years which sometimes backfired when strip videos or even more explicit stuff came to daylight.
The same with becoming the girlfriend of a really big streamer for the same reasons.
Its the principle of one hand washes the other in those cases.

These Pros that wrote with your friend that day more than likely had her as a first choice if she is really that attractive as you say.
But you can bet they didn't sleep alone that night.

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This is also true, something people always overlook in these situations and it makes it feel a bit disingenuous to me.

"PRO GAMER" is extremely vague, but if we're talking about people who are well known then they're probably no stranger to doing shit like this and actually scoring off it.

there are easy, basic, thirsty ass chicks out there just like there are sleezy, thirsty, dick pic sending ass dudes out there

This isn't a gaming thing, this is a fame and ego thing. Look at Hollywood. Look at sports. Look anywhere where people are held to a high regard simply because of what they do.

This, unfortunately, is just how some people get, because when you become famous, people start to throw themselves at you. So you get used to seeing something you like and just going for it in the most rude and absurd way, because why the fuck not.

I'm all for exposing these types. Look at the whole film industry, if people don't speak out then it will continue to exist.

spineduke said:

sorry to hear about your experiences OP - you got a brief taste of what being a woman is like in todays landscape.

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You don't necessarily mean that todays landscape is somehow worse than in past historical times? Because I really don't think that's the case.

I'm in sales and I was chatting with a Client a couple months ago who's a woman around 60. Somehow we got on the topic of her professions, and she told me that back when she was working in her 20s, it was very common and accepted that men called her "sweetheart" and patted her on the legs or butt. She was saying that times have changed a lot now.

And this is not just one story, I've read many other accounts of how things were 40+ years ago. And if you go even farther back, then it's even worse.

fanboy said:

Honestly, how many of you guys were opening this thread expecting a photo of the girl? :D yeah, I know how you think you pervs :D

PS: Sorry for her experience with this men, must be horrible being a beautiful women with dudes like this around.

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Part of the problem : the post
The lack of self awareness lmfao

Start raising the bar by no longer using the word "lady", OP. It implies a desirable catagory of femininity which can only be attained through socioeconomic status and/or adherence to behavioural expectations perpetuated by the patriarchy.

It sucks that your friend got treated that way though, and it's going to take everybody pitching in to make it stop.

Quick question - were the advances mostly from guys who were working at the event? Like YTers, influencers, biz owners, publishers, dev's etc? Or was she also approached by event goers - as in, just the guys attending the show to look around?

I get that hot girls get looked at (especially through the corners of eyes...) but I'm shocked that normal guys just walking around doing that shit. Like, how did these people get her number to send her dic pics???

That's shocking behaviour but it is not unique to the gaming scene, my 24 year old niece gets the similar comments and sometime worse when she is out shopping. I had a guy walk up to me whilst I was with her recently and he asked 'can I f%%% your girlfriend when your done with her.' He took a quick trip to the floor after he said it.

ByteCulture said:

I dont get that "She is a gamer i have to hit on her...." mentality. For me every woman is the same. Doesnt matter if she plays a game or not. If i like her iam going to flirt with her. Iam a gamer by heart but it sounds like the people you mentioned have other problems.

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I NEED GAMER BABIES

Strings said:

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Hahahah my exact same reaction when i read that comment

If only was just gaming...

Are they eSport "stars"?
I would blackmail them.
Scare them to lose sleep.
Make them know what fear is.
Make them regret their decision.

This will ironically teach them how to behave like a normal person instead of spoiled horny brats.

I'm so glad that I'm in the seemingly small percentile of male gamers who have respect and the capacity for humility. Meet a lot who just never grew out of their childhood shit-kid mentality.

Chaz said:

Name and shame.

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.

God damnit. Stop being assholes.

Bhonar said:

You don't necessarily mean that todays landscape is somehow worse than in past historical times? Because I really don't think that's the case.

I'm in sales and I was chatting with a Client a couple months ago who's a woman around 60. Somehow we got on the topic of her professions, and she told me that back when she was working in her 20s, it was very common and accepted that men called her "sweetheart" and patted her on the legs or butt. She was saying that times have changed a lot now.

And this is not just one story, I've read many other accounts of how things were 40+ years ago. And if you go even farther back, then it's even worse.

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A woman in her 60s experience with unwanted advances and harassment will not be the same as one in her 20s. All this still happens in the workforce today, especially male dominated arenas. Source: an actual woman in her 20s

.... Eh.. so what ? We all know this happens so maybe do something about it properly. This thread is literally just telling us what every body already knows. Unless you are going to do something with the information I don't see what this thread achieves.

I am all for you going full Jon Wick and doing something. People should not get away with things like this but by posting this and hiding information you are letting them

Another call for name and shame. Name and shame them. Otherwise they'll just carry on as they have been.

fanboy said:

Honestly, how many of you guys were opening this thread expecting a photo of the girl? :D yeah, I know how you think you pervs :D

PS: Sorry for her experience with this men, must be horrible being a beautiful women with dudes like this around.

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Please, no projection

Also, yeah. Sad to hear about your experience, sorry women still have to go through those shits

fanboy said:

Honestly, how many of you guys were opening this thread expecting a photo of the girl? :D yeah, I know how you think you pervs :D

PS: Sorry for her experience with this men, must be horrible being a beautiful women with dudes like this around.

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Damn boy, your notifications. Talk about not being able to read the room...

What did I do?

Johnny Cage itS said:

But I have to admit, as a (non-visible minority) male myself, I thought we've come a long way as gamers to be more inclusive and understanding of each other and the opposite sex.

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Weirdest part of the post. What has happened that could possibly make you think that?

Bhonar said:

More than sports athletes stars? I doubt it

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Who said more than anything? I said it's almost certainly a higher rate offender community. I have no doubt that sports (and elements of the music community) are up there too.

The point is there are differing degrees of cultural toxicity and gaming hasn't got a great track record.

They're immature and act like monkeys when they're together. What did you expect.

Hopefully she blocked these people from her personal social media apps and texting.

Nothing surprises me anymore in a hobby where most of the male audience is socially awkward. I don't see things improving.

I can't fathom why men think unsolicited dick pics are a good idea

I mean, it seems to happen so much that surely it must work sometimes right?

It's like people who call random homes to try and sell stuff, I always think, there is 0% chance that ever works

I will never be sitting down watching TV and then the phone goes and 5 mins later I have bought some shit I wasn't even thinking about 10mins ago, but companies do this, and so it must work

I just can't see how a guy can think a girl opening her phone and seeing a poorly lit pic of a dick will illicit any response other than revulsion

Actually that happened to me once, back when I was single, I was talking to a girl on Tinder and after a few days she added my mobile number, then asked me what I was doing. I said not much (I was eating cereal) and then she said something vaguely sexual and sent me a pic of her floof

I nearly spat my fucking cornflakes out. I felt so embarrassed for her I literally deleted her number and never spoke to her again. I don't think it's ever a good idea to send someone a pic of your genitals, and as your opening seduction gambit it reveals a lot about a person

This has been a weird post

I'm sorry your friend had to deal with that OP

If its pro gamers/youtubers that are sending dick pics, she should reply and ask for some more that shows a full body pic with their face with their dick in the same picture to prove its them, and then post it online and name and shame, they would likely never do that again.

But really this shouldn't surprise anyone, just using a headset and mic and playing online for 10 minutes on xbox live or psn should be enough to show you how gamers talk and behave.

You did well to make this thread, OP; the more people that are aware of this shit, the better. Far too many dudes are willfully ignorant of this going on. Frankly if I was in your place I would name and shame those dicks (not saying that you should, just that that's the kind of thing I would do).

fanboy said:

Honestly, how many of you guys were opening this thread expecting a photo of the girl? :D yeah, I know how you think you pervs :D

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What the fuck? Why would I expect a thread about a woman getting harassed to link to a public picture of her? Perhaps start thinking with the bigger head?

This happens because these assholes think they won't standout because there are many other dudes in there doing the same thing. This kind of harassment rarely happens in gathering in which most people are well-behave like arts exhibition.

At what point are we morally obligated to name and shame these pigs?

fanboy said:

yeah, I know how you think you pervs

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and now we all know how you think

DeaconKnowledge said:

Weirdest part of the post. What has happened that could possibly make you think that?

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Beats me. All you gotta do is spend some time on gaming side for Reset and it'll show you how wrong that is.

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It sucks it happened to her. And it's super prevalent too...

And smh @ the second reply. What an embrassment...

Oof, that sounds like an awful experience. :-(

How did random people manage to message her though? I don't have SnapChat, so does that let you find people in your vicinity or something?