-
Ever wanted an RSS feed of all your favorite gaming news sites? Go check out our new Gaming Headlines feed! Read more about it here.
-
We have made minor adjustments to how the search bar works on ResetEra. You can read about the changes here.
Being hit by your parents as a punishment
- Thread starter Paperboywriter
- Start date
- Status
It's like they were beaten so they feel they have the right to beat their own children in return, and nobody's gonna tell them differently. Almost as if doing bad things to people teaches them to do bad things to others...
Right, so why would you continue to get physically violent with a child if it didn't work?
It's almost like people who spank have lost control and resort to their lizard brain to do the thinking for them....
Hmmm.....
My dad was very abusive when I was a kid. Regardless, I am a firm believer that some kids definitely need a good smack. And I don't mean beat the shit out of your kids, I mean a force relative to the kid to show you aren't playing around. I have seen so many kids these days that are just little terrors and their parents are just dead inside, and its usually other people that will suffer either now, or later in life when these kids grow up into even worse "adults" due to lack of discipline, imo.
Actually, what nobody needs is you saying children don't get beaten enough. Disgusting. My morals are pretty clearly better than yours, yes.
And you already said you're in no mood to discuss it, so why are you here?
YEP sure did
and i'mma wipe my kids all up and down the house too if they act up
but I don't have any kids, and when I do i probably won't have to do that, so i probably won't ever need to
look around and read these comments -- most of the people who did and are against it clearly feel some type of way towards their parents. Yall getting punched in the face and beaten while drunk and shit...
my mother used to spank us all the time when we acted up, didn't matter where we were. I love that woman more than anything, she is legit one of the nicest and most caring people I know on this planet
Her mother used to beat her too, and while they used to have a terrible relationship (young mother), to this day they're basically each other's best friend. I don't think human development is as simple as people in this thread are making it out to be
Yeah, i turned out fine. I haven't killed anyone (yet) and although I used to have serious anger issues, i'm one of the most even-tempered of my friends when it comes to heated situations with people.
I mean by this same logic, you assuming that I have some kind of hidden mental issues based off your own dispositions towards spanking really isn't much better
and i'mma wipe my kids all up and down the house too if they act up
but I don't have any kids, and when I do i probably won't have to do that, so i probably won't ever need to
look around and read these comments -- most of the people who did and are against it clearly feel some type of way towards their parents. Yall getting punched in the face and beaten while drunk and shit...
my mother used to spank us all the time when we acted up, didn't matter where we were. I love that woman more than anything, she is legit one of the nicest and most caring people I know on this planet
Her mother used to beat her too, and while they used to have a terrible relationship (young mother), to this day they're basically each other's best friend. I don't think human development is as simple as people in this thread are making it out to be
Yeah, i turned out fine. I haven't killed anyone (yet) and although I used to have serious anger issues, i'm one of the most even-tempered of my friends when it comes to heated situations with people.
I mean by this same logic, you assuming that I have some kind of hidden mental issues based off your own dispositions towards spanking really isn't much better
Yes it didn't help me at all. It's llegal to hit adults so it should be illegal to hit your kids.
You are being highly reductive. For your logic to work, one punishment would work for all transgressions, ever. Nothing works like that, kids will not learn anything just by experiencing it once.
There are plenty arguments why people shouldn't spank their children, many already given in this thread. "You should only have to do it once" is not one of them.
User Banned (3 Days): Advocating Violence + Inflammatory Generalizations
My dad destroyed me with this. Fuck that wall.
Basically, a lot of people have never been checked and think their shit don't stink. And if its improper for a parent to do it, best believe someone else will down the line.
Its beyond the hitting imo. Grounding them, taking the phone away, and time outs didn't stop these kids from becoming shitbirds nazis...
So these "good parents who don't hit kids" we're referring to still failed somewhere.
Im not pressed to hit kids, its just dumb to see y'all act like those who have got spanked are mentally damaged or some shit.
If it worked you shouldn't have to keep doing it. Very simple rational reasoning. It doesn't work, as research has shown. It does so much more harm than good.
- Not very often, unless I did something really disrespectful.
- I have 3 daughters and will not spank or hit them for any reason. It's a lazy form of punishment, that only teaches them to fear you. There are much better ways to help children understand consequences of actions, such as: timeouts, toy jail, loss of privelages, and SO many more techniques that do not require physical harm. Your children can listen and follow directions because they want your love and respect, instead of because they fear you.
I got the ever loving snot beat out of me my entire childhood. I totally disagree with it and aside from one mild spanking, have never laid a hand on my seventeen year old son.
Violence only causes resentment and further breeds more violence.
Violence only causes resentment and further breeds more violence.
You're completely missing my point. I'm asking why anyone would resort to physical violence with a child as a failed punishment as opposed to literally any other punishment available. It should make you question why you've reached that point with a child and should result in some self-reflection and self-evaluation as a parent.
You don't solve problems with other adults with violence, why shouldn't the same logic apply with a child?
Weirdly that was the case at the old place too. Maybe because they are both American boards and it's seen as more acceptable there than in most other developed nations (not saying all Americans feel that way, at all)? I don't remember exactly now, but I believe I was temp-banned over there for saying someone was disgusting for advocating beating your children. I've said that in this thread too, and I stand by it, so we'll see what happens I guess...
One time i pushed the plate of my brother onto the floor on purpose and i am pretty sure that my mum slapped me . I never did it again .
Hurting a child with punches or pushing her/him is not good because that's abuse but i think that some slaps are probably effective to teach some manners .
Hurting a child with punches or pushing her/him is not good because that's abuse but i think that some slaps are probably effective to teach some manners .
Last edited:
I can change my mind. The discussion is actually not going the way I thought it would go, with people being dogpiled.
I don't care what you think your morals are, you are the one with a problem with people who don't agree with you. If it's that much of a problem, you can leave.
That is the place of a forum; to debate.
I don't see how it is false equivalence. The goal of negative consequences is to defeat bad actions. If the logic for said consequence to that action doesn't teach them what's wrong but deters them out of fear, is that really learning? Say a kid touches a hot oven, the consequence is burnt fingers. It logically makes sense. If the kid attempts to touch the oven but you rip the child away to spank them, there is a gap in the logic behind the consequence. This is why I disagree with spanking.
I do have a problem with people who don't agree with me on matters of basic human decency, yes. Just like you have a problem with me and my superior moral values.
And yes, morals are subjective in many cases. This is not one such case. Some people think it's okay to beat your wife if she "misbehaves". Those people have lousy morals, that's not subjective.
Your people Nigerian? I swear my African bredrins went through some real shit. My boy had to stand in front of the wall on one leg anytime he misbehaved.
I don't care about you dude. You are the one saying you are getting worked up. Peace.
Seems like you've been subjected to a lot of bad treatment. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but please don't take it out on your children and teach them to in turn take it out on theirs.
It's crazy how it goes down the line too. Like, you were beaten as a kid, and you realize how shitty it was, but you still do it to your kids? Like, the fuck?
Yes. My dad hit me very often when I did anything he perceived as misbehaving which ranged from dropping a cup of water at a restaurant to finishing all the juice in the fridge to crying about not wanting to go to soccer practice. Usually with a belt. He once nearly broke my leg after pinning me down. And he once removed one of my teeth with pliers (that was a weird one)
To be honest, it never really hurt that much. I was usually just confused as to why what I did was even wrong, and it didn't teach me a lesson it just made me mad. It made me think, man, I cant wait till i'm older and I can show him what it feels like to be this helpless. Thankfully that day never came as he's been out of my life since I was 7 years old. What was a lot more effective in shaping who I am as a person was my mom actually talking to me and explaining things about the consequences of my actions. Help me develop an understanding as to why something is wrong instead of just attacking me for not knowing any better.
And I personally just cant comprehend how someone can hurt something so innocent like a child, or someone smaller/weaker than them. its insane to me. I grew over time to forgive him for it all because I feel like this is just how he was raised, he didn't know any better and was too ignorant to teach with his words so he just did to me what his parents did to him. The cycle ends with me though. I'll never hurt my kids.
To be honest, it never really hurt that much. I was usually just confused as to why what I did was even wrong, and it didn't teach me a lesson it just made me mad. It made me think, man, I cant wait till i'm older and I can show him what it feels like to be this helpless. Thankfully that day never came as he's been out of my life since I was 7 years old. What was a lot more effective in shaping who I am as a person was my mom actually talking to me and explaining things about the consequences of my actions. Help me develop an understanding as to why something is wrong instead of just attacking me for not knowing any better.
And I personally just cant comprehend how someone can hurt something so innocent like a child, or someone smaller/weaker than them. its insane to me. I grew over time to forgive him for it all because I feel like this is just how he was raised, he didn't know any better and was too ignorant to teach with his words so he just did to me what his parents did to him. The cycle ends with me though. I'll never hurt my kids.
Jamaican - Panamanian
idk where my dad got that shit from but he clearly was waiting to use it lol. Prob hands down the worst punishment. Id choose losing my games and TV over it.
Never got "hit," but I was spanked a bit as a kid. Only open-hand, though, never with a belt or switch. It was still relatively standard practice at the time, I suppose. I don't have any hang-ups or resentments about it, but it's not something I would ever do myself.
Just wanted to say that i'm 100% in support of everything said here. I was spanked as a child, but never out of anger. I don't resent my parents, and spanking wasn't their only disciplinary action. It was also pretty much finished by the time I was old enough for them to use logic and other punitive measures (expressing sincere disappointment) to correct behavior. Now, as a father of a three year old, I can't even imagine hitting my daughter. Ever. That said, there's a time for physical discipline and only for certain people in certain situations. I openly admit that I'll never be the one to do it to her. My wife is going to be bad cop in that situation (my mom was prone to pinching, my grandma was good for making me retrieve the switch from the tree which was always much worse than the actual beating). Anyway, this is a long-winded way of saying that physical punishment isn't the only solution, and isn't even a good solution. However, spanking is also nuanced, and should be handled on a case by case basis that shouldn't be summarily criminalized because suddenly everyone's so 'conscious'. That's how law is abused, I think.
To the point about every once in a while, people just need a good punch in the face: Yeah. Grown men that don't respect others sometimes just need a good pop. Barbaric? Sure. Essential? Absolutely. I wish I was better, and that 'we' were better, but I'm not that spiritual yet.
I was spanked as a child. Hand, belt, paddle.
I was for it for a while growing up, figured "I turned out just fine."
But the more I've thought about it, talked to others and read things on the issue the more obvious it is that it's unnecessary, and there really isn't any conclusive evidence that it's actually even simply as effective as other disciplinary means. It's just something we figure works because it was done to us, and 'we turned out fine.'
My stance now is that it's not a good form of discipline and is archaic and cruel.
I was for it for a while growing up, figured "I turned out just fine."
But the more I've thought about it, talked to others and read things on the issue the more obvious it is that it's unnecessary, and there really isn't any conclusive evidence that it's actually even simply as effective as other disciplinary means. It's just something we figure works because it was done to us, and 'we turned out fine.'
My stance now is that it's not a good form of discipline and is archaic and cruel.
I was. I'd never do it myself. My parents did their best, and were great when everything was fine; but they only taught us what not to do when dealing with the various types of adversity parents and their children inevitably face.
I have no desire to have kids, and I'm sure that feeling is largely due to seeing how the choice to procreate affected my parents.
I have no desire to have kids, and I'm sure that feeling is largely due to seeing how the choice to procreate affected my parents.
A slap in the ass is child abuse now ? C'mon man . If you don't give some punishment you will be a shit parent as well . My parent slapped me sometimes but i don't have problems at all with it because like i said before , i did some really bad stuff sometimes . They didn't hit me with a brick or hurted me .
Ok, let's say you are right. The fact is that even if you argue that all spanking does is increase fear in a child, that fear in itself can prevent negative consequences.
for example I was once given a spanking for walking away from my mother in a supermarket. I was a child, I did not know what a paedophile was, nor did I realise the dangers of walking away from my parents. Did it prevent me from being kidnapped? Hard to say but probably not. But I'll never know what might of happened if I didn't have that fear of what would happen if I walked away.
Are we okay with people advocating beating their wives too? It's cool if I just say "I don't think people beat their wives enough"? What about other vulnerable groups?
Luckily I believe it's only a small minority of people here who think that way, but damn.
Luckily I believe it's only a small minority of people here who think that way, but damn.
I don't think people consider that the same right? I think most parents would find that acceptable
Yeah, that's very obviously not the same as hitting a defenseless child as punishment.
Hey a spanking thread, this will go well.
Yes, it shouldn't be a regular thing at all but I'm not against it at all and would use it as needed.
Yes, it shouldn't be a regular thing at all but I'm not against it at all and would use it as needed.
Yes, I was spanked as a child (as were my siblings). My dad never spanked in anger, and the infractions that would result in a spanking were always known to us children ahead of time. The spanking would consist of swats on the bottom, but never hard enough to bruise. Any lingering pain would be gone in less than an hour. My mom would swat at us occasionally with a wooden spoon, but so lightly that by the time I was a teenager I found it more amusing than harmful.
I'm not sure if I would spank my children. If nothing else, to me it always felt like the punishment of last resort, or something reserved for the "most heinous" crimes (like hitting your sibling or lying). I'm not even sure what I would punish with a spanking.
I think there is a huge difference between the spankings that I received (which were very effective for me as discipline and that I do not consider abusive) and the beatings that I hear other people describe.
I'm not sure if I would spank my children. If nothing else, to me it always felt like the punishment of last resort, or something reserved for the "most heinous" crimes (like hitting your sibling or lying). I'm not even sure what I would punish with a spanking.
I think there is a huge difference between the spankings that I received (which were very effective for me as discipline and that I do not consider abusive) and the beatings that I hear other people describe.
You seem curiously inclined to stick around for the discussion considering you've shown you're too afraid to defend your opinion.
- Status