User banned (1 week): advocating child abuse, doubling down, accumulated infractions
1)I'm of jamacian heritage
2) Kids nowdays don't get beat enough. Sorry.
2) Kids nowdays don't get beat enough. Sorry.
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Being hit by your parents as a punishment
- Thread starter Paperboywriter
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Switch "Kids" with any type of person/group/gender/ethnicity, how does that sound? Why should children of all people be ones deserving of being beat?
1. Yes, using the ole "hickory switch" that led to welts and even bleeding sometimes.
2. It should be banned. Hitting someone doesn't teach them jack shit, it leads to hate and resentment, them telling you lies (because they fear getting hit and would rather lie instead of risk that).
If I ever have kids I will never hit them like I was. I will use punishments in different ways (IE no phone/video games and other restrictions) and reassure them that they can talk to me and I will not punish them for telling me the truth and being honest if they did something bad/wrong and come clean about it and you know....actually talk to them.
2. It should be banned. Hitting someone doesn't teach them jack shit, it leads to hate and resentment, them telling you lies (because they fear getting hit and would rather lie instead of risk that).
If I ever have kids I will never hit them like I was. I will use punishments in different ways (IE no phone/video games and other restrictions) and reassure them that they can talk to me and I will not punish them for telling me the truth and being honest if they did something bad/wrong and come clean about it and you know....actually talk to them.
I was never "hit" but I was spanked.
I remember when I was like 6 I gave my dad the finger what I thought was behind his back. My mom saw. lost her shit told my dad. I got such a spanking, never ever did that again. It stayed with me. I think this was the oldest I was when I was spanked, I know I was spanked when younger but don't have a clear memory of it.
Ok I lied, when I was 14 my mom tried to spank me, I was 6 foot at the time, it was hilarious as I was just standing there letting her do it with no effect. I think she new at that moment the dynamic changed...
I love my parents and have a close relationship. not sure if I will spank my kids or not, neutral on it now.
I remember when I was like 6 I gave my dad the finger what I thought was behind his back. My mom saw. lost her shit told my dad. I got such a spanking, never ever did that again. It stayed with me. I think this was the oldest I was when I was spanked, I know I was spanked when younger but don't have a clear memory of it.
Ok I lied, when I was 14 my mom tried to spank me, I was 6 foot at the time, it was hilarious as I was just standing there letting her do it with no effect. I think she new at that moment the dynamic changed...
I love my parents and have a close relationship. not sure if I will spank my kids or not, neutral on it now.
I don't have a massive problem with disciplining children with physical force within reason but I won't be doing it to my kids.
I mean using physical force on your kids is basically admitting what a poor parent you are that you cant discipline them without raising your fists, the thing you would be arrested for if done to an adult, but yeah sure, it 'worked for you' so why not let it happen.
I had the same thing happen to me all the time. Worst was when he told me I was going to get the belt after school when I was 10. I spent the whole day thinking about it and even had hope he might've forgot. However, he was standing there in the doorway with the belt in hand waiting for me as I walked home.
A swat may be ok but I'm generally against corporal punishment. I'm so emotionally scarred from my youth I can't even watch it happen in a movie without severe anxiety.
My life would be destroyed if someone took me away from my parents, and I would never forgive the spanking vigilante that called on them. Especially for something like a slap on the butt, during which my parents even explained why it was happening and hugged me afterwards? Anyone who reports that and ruins my life is an asshole, straight up.
It's banned in most civilized countries for a reason. It leaves trauma and has been proven to have no positive effects. If you abuse your child physically like that you are a asshole.
Going to be honest, I don't think it's worth having a discussion about this here. It's pretty obvious that I will be dogpiled to oblivion with people trying their best to pick apart my every word to find something to argue.
I think what you are asking is false equivalence but it really doesn't matter. The OP asked two questions and I answered them. I'm in no mood to debate my opinion on this, especially not here.
Na, some of the stuff is pretty basic to classify as "fine"
no criminal record,
never needed psychiatric medication,
Never been institutionalized.
Never been fired from anything.
Stable family with no family member disowned.
Pay all my debts on time.
Pretty comfortable saying "I turned out fine"
Also, fine is a pretty low bar. Its not like they said, "I turned out fucking awesome"
That being said, I turned out fucking awesome.
Got spanked or smacked a decent amount when I was a kid. More spanks than smacks. I don't hold it against em. I needed a little fear with my love. We're all close now.
Yes, we have a bunch of people with corrupted ideas about personal safety and a belief in violence as a basic interaction because parents didn't hit their kids enough.
I have a scar on my forehead from my father, so... yes. It wasn't the main way of punishment, though, he preferred psychological means.
My thoughts on it are that it's a very good way to alienate your children from you, or make them violent due to the trauma.
My thoughts on it are that it's a very good way to alienate your children from you, or make them violent due to the trauma.
Yeah, and it was used overtly as a tool for terror. I can still fathom memories of my dad standing at doorways and scolding me furiously for some naughty act or the other. I would need to get past that doorway to escape, so there was this terror of when to make the move, because it would inevitably be accompanied by a nice hard whack or two.
One time my dad got drunk and went to sleep. I had an accident where some hot noodle soup spilled on my chest, scalding it. My mom took me to my dad and woke him up to treat my injury, but being drunk, he thought I'd done something bad and slapped me straight out of waking up.
He would also beat on my mother. Then one time when I was 16 and they were fighting I just walked in and uppercut him as he raised his hand to her. He was drunk and seriously rolled away off the bed and crumpled on the floor like a Street Fighter opponent (at least that's how I remember it =). After that he never laid a hand on us kids or my mom again (at least that's what she tells me). More than any real fear I could instill, it was the shame of it, I imagine.
So despite the above, I've never seen our family as particularly overly troubled. This was just another part of life, along with a lot of good times. And in the culture, and particularly the culture my parents came from (we were expats), this kind of thing was considered pretty normal. To add to this, I had pretty young parents, and I think a lot of it also had to do with their inexperience.
However, if you ask about my stance on hitting one's children now, I will strongly oppose the act. Even if on a personal level it felt like the way of the times for me, having personally experienced that 'way of life', I see no lasting value in applying that kind of terror upon a child. It's lazy and ignorant, and I hope in 2018 is not a thing any parent would think is a positive act. We can be smarter and better than that.
One time my dad got drunk and went to sleep. I had an accident where some hot noodle soup spilled on my chest, scalding it. My mom took me to my dad and woke him up to treat my injury, but being drunk, he thought I'd done something bad and slapped me straight out of waking up.
He would also beat on my mother. Then one time when I was 16 and they were fighting I just walked in and uppercut him as he raised his hand to her. He was drunk and seriously rolled away off the bed and crumpled on the floor like a Street Fighter opponent (at least that's how I remember it =). After that he never laid a hand on us kids or my mom again (at least that's what she tells me). More than any real fear I could instill, it was the shame of it, I imagine.
So despite the above, I've never seen our family as particularly overly troubled. This was just another part of life, along with a lot of good times. And in the culture, and particularly the culture my parents came from (we were expats), this kind of thing was considered pretty normal. To add to this, I had pretty young parents, and I think a lot of it also had to do with their inexperience.
However, if you ask about my stance on hitting one's children now, I will strongly oppose the act. Even if on a personal level it felt like the way of the times for me, having personally experienced that 'way of life', I see no lasting value in applying that kind of terror upon a child. It's lazy and ignorant, and I hope in 2018 is not a thing any parent would think is a positive act. We can be smarter and better than that.
Agreed completely. I would hope people here can see the difference between beatings and getting spanked on the butt too. As a kid, I could. I'm fine if you're against it all (I am too now), but let's not lump it all into these extremes.
Even if their parents didn't hit them, they still ended up as shit stains.
Sooo....
Yes and it was stupid and added no benefit. Never respected my parent for it and it only made me sneakier.
I don't hit my kids.
I don't hit my kids.
Yes. I think it was wrong and people shouldn't do it anymore.
I'm not saying people who do are bad people, they probably don't know it's actually bad for kids. Plus I can understand that if you get particularly heated people may lash out, it's not okay, but I understand.
I'm not saying people who do are bad people, they probably don't know it's actually bad for kids. Plus I can understand that if you get particularly heated people may lash out, it's not okay, but I understand.
I was hit a few times, my old brother regularly had the shit beat out of him though and it just made him act up worse and wound up being a big factor in my family breaking up and our current Dynamics.
Weird tho to be taught how to behave by basically seeing the person you idolize being beaten for doing the wrong things. Definitely fucked me up too in some ways.
Worst punishments I remember were like having to kneel on a hardwood floor for like an hour. Thst was a shitty one. Wtf who thinks of that shit.
Needless to say I wouldn't hit a kid as punishment.
I regret that I used to smack my dog on the nose or butt when she did something bad when o was younger. I was stupid and didn't know any better.
Weird tho to be taught how to behave by basically seeing the person you idolize being beaten for doing the wrong things. Definitely fucked me up too in some ways.
Worst punishments I remember were like having to kneel on a hardwood floor for like an hour. Thst was a shitty one. Wtf who thinks of that shit.
Needless to say I wouldn't hit a kid as punishment.
I regret that I used to smack my dog on the nose or butt when she did something bad when o was younger. I was stupid and didn't know any better.
Yes, wooden spoons and spankings. It's not something I would ever do to a kid even though I turned out fine.
Oh yea, plenty of times. Usually with objects. Hockey stick? Check. Spatula? Check. Belt? Check. Tinker Toys canister? Check. I wasn't even a bad kid. Showed up to school, did my homework, was constantly on the honor roll and gifted programs, never got in trouble at school, teachers liked me, etc.
How I feel about it now? Don't do it. Hitting your kids stems from the parents' inability to control their temper, and by doing that you're in risk of losing your relationship with your child if not giving them some psychological shit to deal with later in life. I eventually sorted my shit out, but as a result I barely have a relationship with my mother and barely had one with my father when he passed.
How I feel about it now? Don't do it. Hitting your kids stems from the parents' inability to control their temper, and by doing that you're in risk of losing your relationship with your child if not giving them some psychological shit to deal with later in life. I eventually sorted my shit out, but as a result I barely have a relationship with my mother and barely had one with my father when he passed.
No, but it was definitely common in my friends and cousins houses. I would definitely never do the same to my kids. It's kind of unconscionable to me at this point.
Just shows your kids that lashing out with violence is OK when you lose your temper or think you need to control a person.
Just shows your kids that lashing out with violence is OK when you lose your temper or think you need to control a person.
See, I think for some people, the humbling needs to come when they're older and able to understand why it's happening. Life teaches me there are some dudes who just need some sense beat into them. Even on this forum, you got dudes who mouth off over the dumbest things and get real aggressive. It's cos they ain't ever been checked for their bullshit. All the sarcasm and mockery, it'd set them real straight and real quick at that if someone handed their ass to them.
Also, my grandma used to chase us around the house with slippers to hit us with, and when she failed to catch us she would throw one at us.
When i was younger, yeah but i brought it upon myself because i made bad decisions as a kid.
But one incident happened where a dude my mom was dating thought it was okay to hit me, I fought back and scarred that dude for life ( i was 10). My mother never hit me again after that.
But one incident happened where a dude my mom was dating thought it was okay to hit me, I fought back and scarred that dude for life ( i was 10). My mother never hit me again after that.
Indian and same. Never got spanked without reason. Never too much. Very few occasions. Thought me respect and manners.
He said he whacks them. That's physical violence, that's child abuse. It might be "light" child abuse, but it is what it is. But he then bends down to their level and explains why he did it, and then everything is fine apparently.
Nope. They never hit me and actually I've never argued with them or had a dispuite them my entire life.
I don't think that sort of punishment is the right way to treat a growing mind anyway. I've been rewatching Man Men and Betty insisting Don hit their son bothered me because there are so many other ways to get your point across and let the child learn.
I don't think that sort of punishment is the right way to treat a growing mind anyway. I've been rewatching Man Men and Betty insisting Don hit their son bothered me because there are so many other ways to get your point across and let the child learn.
Absolutely, psychological child abuse is also terrible.
Disgusting attitude.
Stick with it. I'm sure you can work out this logical conundrum on your own.
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Question for the pro-spankers: If spanking was truly effective, why would you ever have to do it more than once?
Yes. For me everything is fine, now, and it is fortunate I am/was able to have a good relationship with my parents. But I have not, and will not, do this on my own child.
There is still an emotional effect from "spanking", even if it does not physically wound. A child will end up confiding in their parents far less throughout their journey to adulthood, and thus they may accuse the child of being distant or unwilling to share, when they helped set this in motion rather early on. A child may also end up having some emotional and communication development delayed, due to the the stunted feedback loop between the child and the parents.
Never once did an episode of spanking result in me having a pop-up "shock therapy" session with myself.
There is still an emotional effect from "spanking", even if it does not physically wound. A child will end up confiding in their parents far less throughout their journey to adulthood, and thus they may accuse the child of being distant or unwilling to share, when they helped set this in motion rather early on. A child may also end up having some emotional and communication development delayed, due to the the stunted feedback loop between the child and the parents.
Never once did an episode of spanking result in me having a pop-up "shock therapy" session with myself.
You're right, I don't think they are automatically bad people, they are doing what they were taught works. The worst part is how defensive some people get when you present them with scientific evidence against corporal punishment.
It's also really scary when people use language like 'they/I deserved it' when talking about hitting kids.
These threads always make me angry and frustrated (don't know if we've had it before here, but we did at the old place). So many people with horrible opinions on how to properly raise children, on a forum which otherwise generally seems rather liberal and enlightened. Sad to see.
My dad hates getting talked back to. So yes.
Spanking stopped after that.
I was spanked about a dozen times, some I deserved, some they could've just talked to me. But my dad hit me once, gave me a black eye. I didn't deserve it at all. That was a really shitting thing of him to do.
I've decided not to spank my daughter. Talking to her works just fine on her.
I've decided not to spank my daughter. Talking to her works just fine on her.
Almost every study ever says that corporal punishment directly correlate to anti-social behaviour. https://ac.els-cdn.com/S18770428100...t=1527289319_7c68700a5347f4d3e7cfc490811dbe7d Those studies that argue otherwise have little to no empircal evidence.
The alt-right are driven by ideologies of traditional family values and self-gratifying aggression. How could you possibly draw a connection between that and not having parents that hit them?
The alt-right are driven by ideologies of traditional family values and self-gratifying aggression. How could you possibly draw a connection between that and not having parents that hit them?
Then leave the thread. Nobody needs to bathed in your sense of moral superiority.
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