TransEra |ERA1| We're People, Okay?

srsly? said:

Anyone else who needs help for mental illness find that psychological therapy helps not at all, and in fact makes things worse? I've found over the last couple of years that going to see my psychiatrist and/or my therapist to talk about my various traumas and anxieties has become an increasingly-rough ordeal. Used to, during the first year or so of my transition, it wasn't so bad. In fact, I rather needed that weekly outlet of being able to release emotions I had had pent-up after all of those years. But now, the whole experience just seems to upset me further and guarantee an even more emotionally-vacillating week than otherwise.

Since the arrival of the new year, when I finally got news that my application for disability was rejected, I've quit going to both my therapist and psychiatrist, and I seem to be feeling worlds better and more stable, day-to-day. (I now have my GP prescribe my SSRI's.) Is this perhaps because my brain is so active and my past traumas are so frequently on my mind anyway (including nightmares regularly), so dredging them up to the surface during therapy is just blasting the wounds too much? Dunno.

Can anyone else relate?

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Therapy shouldn't be making you feel worse, unless they're making you confront those traumas without actually coping with them properly. Did you try any other therapists/psychiatrists? Or was it just all of them starting to make you feel this way?

If you're feeling better right now, and you're still taking your medication then you're probably fine to just keep doing what you're doing. If you ever start to feel like its taking a toll on you again, there will still be professionals there to help you.

Ketkat said:

Therapy shouldn't be making you feel worse, unless they're making you confront those traumas without actually coping with them properly. Did you try any other therapists/psychiatrists? Or was it just all of them starting to make you feel this way?

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I've had two different therapists and two different psychiatrists. None of them have seemed capable of helping me to cope with my issues. The abuse I suffered during my upbringing is just as hard to deal with now as it was before I started going, and I am still incapable of working. I'm not really certain one *can* talk-therapy things such as PTSD, except for maybe those not self-aware enough to see how their reaction to their pain just exacerbates it. As a very cerebral, introspective type, though, I've yet to experience an insight or perspective I hadn't already thought of years ago.

srsly? said:

I've had two different therapists and two different psychiatrists. None of them have seemed capable of helping me to cope with my issues. The abuse I suffered during my upbringing is just as hard to deal with now as it was before I started going, and I am still incapable of working. I'm not really certain one *can* talk-therapy things such as PTSD, except for maybe those not self-aware enough to see how their reaction to their pain just exacerbates it. As a very cerebral, introspective type, though, I've yet to experience an insight or perspective I hadn't already thought of years ago.

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That's awful! I'm sorry to hear that you went through that! I really don't have much experience with PTSD therapy, but if you're unable to work, I do think there would be some value in trying to find a therapist that worked for you. I'm not sure what methods your therapists were using, but this site seems to have some good recommendations on ones that have the most backing : https://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/treatment/therapy-med/treatment-ptsd.asp

I do understand how having to face that trauma consistently would be incredibly difficult, but at the same time, you have to be able to find a way to cope. Take a break from the therapy for a little bit if you need to, but I'm not entirely sure about cutting it out completely.

Ketkat said:

That's awful! I'm sorry to hear that you went through that! I really don't have much experience with PTSD therapy, but if you're unable to work, I do think there would be some value in trying to find a therapist that worked for you. I'm not sure what methods your therapists were using, but this site seems to have some good recommendations on ones that have the most backing : https://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/treatment/therapy-med/treatment-ptsd.asp

I do understand how having to face that trauma consistently would be incredibly difficult, but at the same time, you have to be able to find a way to cope. Take a break from the therapy for a little bit if you need to, but I'm not entirely sure about cutting it out completely.

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Thanks for the link and the sympathy. I'm not sure I have exactly ruled out talk therapy permanently, but being able to get away for it for awhile has been a massive relief.

That said, my finances (or lack thereof, should I say) may sharply limit the likelihood of my finding a capable therapist. I have no health insurance and I was able to afford my last therapist only because she charged me a mere $20/session. She wasn't exactly insightful, but she was cheap and nice (and respectful of my gender, which is crucial). So we'll see...

xo

So I just found out that I've gone down 1.5 shoe sizes. I fit into one of my kids size 8.5 size shoes when I normally wear a 10.

It has been 12 days since my first dose of HRT. So far so good. No noticeable changes yet but everything I've heard says it takes *months* for anything to be noticeable so now it's just a waiting game.

srhltmr said:

So I just found out that I've gone down 1.5 shoe sizes. I fit into one of my kids size 8.5 size shoes when I normally wear a 10.

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This happened to me, too. Doing some research, it seems to be a fairly common phenomenon among trans women, like losing an inch or so of stature. Something to do with the ligaments retracting in size.

Personally, just happy that I'm now a size every store stocks regularly.

srsly? said:

This happened to me, too. Doing some research, it seems to be a fairly common phenomenon among trans women, like losing an inch or so of stature. Something to do with the ligaments retracting in size.

Personally, just happy that I'm now a size every store stocks regularly.

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Yeah. It'll be easier to find a size 9 or 10 than 12.

Are there any Trans Discord servers that you know of? I feel like I'm imposing when I am in general lesbian servers. I was a NEOGAF user. I got banned. Been mainly lurking since. I know that this may seem shady with all of the assholes who try to assult those servers all of the time. I just don't know where else to ask. My old user name was Angryharlot. I was on a couple skype calls. I try to stick to discord these days as there is less chance of getting misgendered. Its funny how some of the prettier transgirls do that to me with more frequency than the general public. I was on the Actuallesbians discord but I have just heard one too many cis woman complain that we are sucking up all of the air in the room.

Thanks, in advance.

Artificial Housewife said:

Are there any Trans Discord servers that you know of? I feel like I'm imposing when I am in general lesbian servers. I was a NEOGAF user. I got banned. Been mainly lurking since. I know that this may seem shady with all of the assholes who try to assult those servers all of the time. I just don't know where else to ask. My old user name was Angryharlot. I was on a couple skype calls. I try to stick to discord these days as there is less chance of getting misgendered. Its funny how some of the prettier transgirls do that to me with more frequency than the general public. I was on the Actuallesbians discord but I have just heard one too many cis woman complain that we are sucking up all of the air in the room.

Thanks, in advance.

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Welcome to the thread! I don't think we ever managed to meet back on the old site but its nice to meet you! There is in fact a discord server, just PM SweetNicole for more information on that.

Feel free to PM me too.

Hello, I have a question, and in need of some advice.

So, everyone in my family knows and is accepting of the fact that I am transgender...except for my dad. I have not told him that I am transgender yet because I am afraid he might hate me.

I have have been able to avoid telling him because he lives 2 hours away from my moms house. I am having FFS sometime next year, and I am not sure if I should tell him at the last minute or what.

At this point, I have already had an orchiectomy and other surgerys he is completely unaware of, but I was just to afraid of saying anything.

I rarely talk to him outside of texts, and the occasional visit to his house. He wants to have a closer relationship with me, as I never tell him what's going on with my life.

Anyways, the reason why I haven't told him is because he is very religious, and he does not seem to be found of LGBT people. He doesn't hate them, but I am unsure I guess.

I thought about telling him in a text message, so I wouldn't have to see or hear his reaction, but I don't know.

If anyone has any advice than please let me know. Thank you.

Tic Tac said:

Hello, I have a question, and in need of some advice.

So, everyone in my family knows and is accepting of the fact that I am transgender...except for my dad. I have not told him that I am transgender yet because I am afraid he might hate me.

I have have been able to avoid telling him because he lives 2 hours away from my moms house. I am having FFS sometime next year, and I am not sure if I should tell him at the last minute or what.

At this point, I have already had an orchiectomy and other surgerys he is completely unaware of, but I was just to afraid of saying anything.

I rarely talk to him outside of texts, and the occasional visit to his house. He wants to have a closer relationship with me, as I never tell him what's going on with my life.

Anyways, the reason why I haven't told him is because he is very religious, and he does not seem to be found of LGBT people. He doesn't hate them, but I am unsure I guess.

I thought about telling him in a text message, so I wouldn't have to see or hear his reaction, but I don't know.

If anyone has any advice than please let me know. Thank you.

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IMO, I'd tell him before the FFS. The shock of a (potentially) completely different person standing in front of him suddenly might come off worse than telling him beforehand.

srhltmr said:

IMO, I'd tell him before the FFS. The shock of a (potentially) completely different person standing in front of him suddenly might come off worse than telling him beforehand.

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Sigh... I wish I didn't have to say anything at all honestly, but yeah I thought about telling him a month before the surgery. I think that might be a bit sudden though.

Tic Tac said:

Sigh... I wish I didn't have to say anything at all honestly, but yeah I thought about telling him a month before the surgery. I think that might be a bit sudden though.

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I would tell him sooner rather than later because you want to be able to work through it prior to surgery. If you wait till the last minute it will cause undue stress. You have taken a lot of big steps by your own admission and I have no doubt you can handle what ever may come in regards to this.

Kaywee said:

I would tell him sooner rather than later because you want to be able to work through it prior to surgery. If you wait till the last minute it will cause undue stress. You have taken a lot of big steps by your own admission and I have no doubt you can handle what ever may come in regards to this.

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Aww thanks.

My moms side of the family is very open minded, and they are all about being your self n stuff, so telling them wasn't scary or anything. Different story with my dad and his family though.

Yeah, I probably should tell him sooner rather than later like you said. Maybe I will just do it through a text message though, as it would be easier.

Thank you for the advice.

If you knew you were going to die soon, but were still in the closet, would you tell anyone? Or would you rather everyone remember you as who they thought you were?

Geirskogul said:

If you knew you were going to die soon, but were still in the closet, would you tell anyone? Or would you rather everyone remember you as who they thought you were?

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Geirskogul, you know that we care about you here and we don't want to see you get hurt in any way. I know that you're really worried that you won't end up passing, and a lot of us have had similar feelings throughout transition. But, you really need to trust us when we say that HRT takes a while and there is a very good chance that you'll end up looking just fine. We are our own worst critics, and no one is going to sit down and notice all of the flaws that we feel will drag us down.

You have been on HRT for a very short amount of time, and I understand the impatience that comes with the early months all too well. But, you need to try and break out of this defeatist attitude that you somehow know how things will end up when you genuinely can not know. You need to put more faith in the experiences of people who have already been through it, and trust us when we tell you that everything will be okay in the end. My advice is still ultimately the same as it was in the Mental Health thread. I think that you should stay on HRT, and work on what you can right now instead of constantly worrying about what could happen in the future. Presentation is incredibly important to how people will gender you, and there is a lot of work that you could be doing on that while you wait for HRT. You could be working on mannerisms, clothes, makeup, voice, or any other number of things. But there are options out there, and we can help you with those if you need it.

It can be difficult to shift your thoughts away from negative thinking once you get into the habit of it. Luckily, there are tools out there that you can use to combat them. A thought review can be a very useful resource that has helped out a lot of people in the past.
http://www.cognitivetherapyguide.org/negative-thinking-patterns.htm http://www.cognitivetherapyguide.org/thought-review-thought-record.htm

I also feel that reading through this would be beneficial to you since you don't have much self-esteem : http://mams.rmit.edu.au/elh5d4nc7sfd.pdf


We're always here for you if you want to vent or need advice. And of course my PM's are always open if you want to talk more there.

Geirskogul said:

If you knew you were going to die soon, but were still in the closet, would you tell anyone? Or would you rather everyone remember you as who they thought you were?

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Yeah, HRT has changed me quite a bit, so don't give up please. It will take some time, but things do get better.

If you can get it, FFS can also help quite a bit. I saw my plastic surgeon and the before and after pics he showed me of male to females were amazing.

Like KetKat said, you need to give it time. Personally, I started HRT at the age of 21 (now 23) and I have seen significant changes that I thought would never happen, so there are a chance of good things to come.

Maybe I will post before and after pics for proof of change if needed.

Geirskogul said:

If you knew you were going to die soon, but were still in the closet, would you tell anyone? Or would you rather everyone remember you as who they thought you were?

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To answer the question as written, and ignoring the scary implications of it, yes I would. Who I am now doesn't change who I was before.

If me coming out of the closet changes someone's opinion of me, that's their problem. I'm not doing it to impress people.

Still haven't found an online voice therapist I know is reliable, helpful, or good.

I did discover this helpful guide and will be following it:

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/1ske7b/mtf_voice_training_regimen/

People in VRChat have told me my voice isn't high pitched like I would like, but is female passing. But I have a hard time believing them, I feel like they're just telling me that so I won't feel dysphoria.
But anyway, I'm going to be practicing this as much as possible.

Geirskogul said:

If you knew you were going to die soon, but were still in the closet, would you tell anyone? Or would you rather everyone remember you as who they thought you were?

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Dying is a tragic loss. If you're having suicidal thoughts at all. Please seek help. And just please, don't.

"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

I wish you happiness, and I wish I could give it to you. :<
I wish I could give you what little of my well being that exists.

MusclesAreGirly said:

Still haven't found an online voice therapist I know is reliable, helpful, or good.

I did discover this helpful guide and will be following it:

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/1ske7b/mtf_voice_training_regimen/

People in VRChat have told me my voice isn't high pitched like I would like, but is female passing. But I have a hard time believing them, I feel like they're just telling me that so I won't feel dysphoria.
But anyway, I'm going to be practicing this as much as possible.


Dying is a tragic loss. If you're having suicidal thoughts at all. Please seek help. And just please, don't.

"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

I wish you happiness, and I wish I could give it to you. :<
I wish I could give you what little of my well being that exists.

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ugh...that voice tutorial sounds like a pain. It is not fair that transgender males get it naturally AT ALL.

If people think you sound like a Woman than it must be true. You can also try the old phone strategy where you call a business and see if they refer to you as a man or woman. However, if you have social anxiety like me than that is probably not an option. I am actually seeing a voice therapist on the 4th of next month, and hopefully it is a one on one thing because if it isn't I will be jumping out of the nearest window.

Anyways, I hope you achieve the voice you are looking for, and if you didn't now than you will eventually. VRChat is definitively an interesting way of getting feedback though, but yeah I would try calling a business or 2 as well, although I guess that is not necessary when you have the virtual world.

Wait, there is actually an interesting video I watched on how to achieve a feminine voice. Maybe this will be of some use?


I have used her method myself, and it seems to kinda work, although I do not know what she means by pulling in the larynx. I can talk just fine with the apple up, but pulling it in? I have no idea what she is talking about. Maybe you can figure it out?

Really, the best voice training is just singing. Full-throated, from-the-diaphragm singing, following a warmup, attempting a mezzo-soprano pitch the whole way. Used to back when I still had a job, I'd sing at the top of my lungs to Madonna tracks for the duration of my commute, both ways. (As said commute was 75 miles round-trip, five days a week, I got quite a lot of singing in.)

As a consequence, my throat was sore almost constantly, but over time began to raise in pitch. When I started three-and-a-half years ago, I was routinely misgendered over the phone or at the drive-in. Since about two years ago, though, it hasn't happened once, and I'm now a high contralto. (I might be a full-blown mezzo by now, except I've slacked off practicing a bit the last year or two.) It's hard work and takes tremendous commitment, but it is definitely doable.

Had to come out to the rest of my family due to an unexpected emergency situation.

Turns out they already had suspicions, and were completely accepting and understanding. My freaking dad even offered to take out a home equity loan to help me pay for surgeries (which I could never accept that generosity and I don't need the money anyways but still)

I was pretty blown away by it all, but despite this, I'm not any happier. I'm just even more frustrated with myself for waiting so long to do anything and not saying anything about my feelings to them 10, or even 5 years ago. I am incredibly fortunate and in an extreme position of privilege relative to most trans people, but I'm still so goddamn miserable and unable to move forward. It makes me feel like such a weak and terrible human being. I have the most amazing family in the world and I can't even be happy for their sake.

Geirskogul I'm extremely happy that you were able to come out to an understanding and supportive family. Even if it doesn't feel like it this is a huge step forward

*hug*

How About No said:

Geirskogul I'm extremely happy that you were able to come out to an understanding and supportive family. Even if it doesn't feel like it this is a huge step forward

*hug*

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Honestly it is a huge relief knowing that they have my back, especially my dad who I was most afraid to tell. But at the same time its only compounding the regret and anger I feel towards myself for repressing things for so long.

I mean when I was 10 my parents even took me to see a therapist because they could tell I was depressed, but I was just too scared and confused to open up about my issues.

Geirskogul said:

Honestly it is a huge relief knowing that they have my back, especially my dad who I was most afraid to tell. But at the same time its only compounding the regret and anger I feel towards myself for repressing things for so long.

I mean when I was 10 my parents even took me to see a therapist because they could tell I was depressed, but I was just too scared and confused to open up about my issues.

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Honestly in my opinion the worst thing you can do is dwell on what you should have done differently in the past. I get it sucks and I have the same regrets, It's a one way ticket to winding yourself up and making yourself feel shit.

Save the energy for pushing yourself forward and doing all you can in your power now and you'll find you'll find yourself feeling better faster.

Geirskogul , I'm very glad to hear that your family is understanding, accepting and supportive!

I don't know the exact circumstances, but I'm happy that you found acceptance close to you. I know it is easy to get dragged back into regret at this moment, but ... talk to them about that too. I think talking to them about everything, even all the worries and regrets you have, might help you process them. I know it helped me. Maybe that's advice you don't need and you're already doing it, but I want to give it anyway. I hope that their acceptance helps you turn things around. If you ever want to re-join the Discord, all you need to do is ask.

<3

Geirskogul said:

Honestly it is a huge relief knowing that they have my back, especially my dad who I was most afraid to tell. But at the same time its only compounding the regret and anger I feel towards myself for repressing things for so long.

I mean when I was 10 my parents even took me to see a therapist because they could tell I was depressed, but I was just too scared and confused to open up about my issues.

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I also dwelled on the past for far too long. I thought I could never pass and it was too late and all that. But I decided to just openly live as woman recently and it has mostly been fine in social situations. To my surprise really.

Please don't give up.

Geirskogul, I was happy to read about how your family reacted to your coming out. Perhaps, since they are being so understanding, you should also tell them about your worries, i.e. your fear that it may be to late to transition. Perhaps opening up with someone close to you will help you in achieving a different perspective.

Ellieon said:

Honestly in my opinion the worst thing you can do is dwell on what you should have done differently in the past. I get it sucks and I have the same regrets, It's a one way ticket to winding yourself up and making yourself feel shit.

Save the energy for pushing yourself forward and doing all you can in your power now and you'll find you'll find yourself feeling better faster.

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I know its useless and incredibly destructive, but sometimes I just can't help it. I try and remind myself that I'm only 22, and still have most of my life ahead of me, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. With college coming to an end soon its just been difficult not to think about how much I've missed out on.

Amevila said:

I also dwelled on the past for far too long. I thought I could never pass and it was too late and all that. But I decided to just openly live as woman recently and it has mostly been fine in social situations. To my surprise really.

Please don't give up.

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Honestly, its not even about passing anymore. I mean, I still have fears that I might never pass but I'm starting to hate my body a little less as time goes on and HRT and LHR continue to do their thing. Its more so general rumination and regret over all the time I've lost.

Also, nice Y'shtola avatar btw. What server do you play on?

FairFriend said:

Geirskogul, I was happy to read about how your family reacted to your coming out. Perhaps, since they are being so understanding, you should also tell them about your worries, i.e. your fear that it may be to late to transition. Perhaps opening up with someone close to you will help you in achieving a different perspective.

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I have been honest with them about my fears and regrets, and they were very compassionate and understanding. I promised I wouldn't keep any more secrets from them, and that I'd start seeing a therapist to try and help work through some of my baggage. Unfortunately before doing that I need to talk to a police officer tomorrow and convince him that I don't need to be involuntarily committed... >.>

Also I think a lot of my recent depression may have been exacerbated by my Cypro, since I started taking B12 supplements I've been feeling significantly better.

Geirskogul said:

I know its useless and incredibly destructive, but sometimes I just can't help it. I try and remind myself that I'm only 22, and still have most of my life ahead of me, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. With college coming to an end soon its just been difficult not to think about how much I've missed out on.




Honestly, its not even about passing anymore. I mean, I still have fears that I might never pass but I'm starting to hate my body a little less as time goes on and HRT and LHR continue to do their thing. Its more so general rumination and regret over all the time I've lost.

Also, nice Y'shtola avatar btw. What server do you play on?



I have been honest with them about my fears and regrets, and they were very compassionate and understanding. I promised I wouldn't keep any more secrets from them, and that I'd start seeing a therapist to try and help work through some of my baggage. Unfortunately before doing that I need to talk to a police officer tomorrow and convince him that I don't need to be involuntarily committed... >.>

Also I think a lot of my recent depression may have been exacerbated by my Cypro, since I started taking B12 supplements I've been feeling significantly better.

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Its awesome to hear that you've been making so much progress Geirskogul! You're not alone in having regrets, but all we can do is keep working on what we can do now in the present. And I know that's way easier said than done, but it'll get easier as you start to make more and more progress!

I've had to talk to police about this kind of stuff before as well, and I know how nerve-wracking that can be. If its making you nervous, try out some breathing techniques before-hand and try to be honest about everything with them. They may not understand all of it, but they're there to help you.

Geirskogul said:

I know its useless and incredibly destructive, but sometimes I just can't help it. I try and remind myself that I'm only 22, and still have most of my life ahead of me, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. With college coming to an end soon its just been difficult not to think about how much I've missed out on.




Honestly, its not even about passing anymore. I mean, I still have fears that I might never pass but I'm starting to hate my body a little less as time goes on and HRT and LHR continue to do their thing. Its more so general rumination and regret over all the time I've lost.

Also, nice Y'shtola avatar btw. What server do you play on?



I have been honest with them about my fears and regrets, and they were very compassionate and understanding. I promised I wouldn't keep any more secrets from them, and that I'd start seeing a therapist to try and help work through some of my baggage. Unfortunately before doing that I need to talk to a police officer tomorrow and convince him that I don't need to be involuntarily committed... >.>

Also I think a lot of my recent depression may have been exacerbated by my Cypro, since I started taking B12 supplements I've been feeling significantly better.

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I am glad you are starting to feel a little better about yourself.
And I play on Odin in ffxiv. Although I must admit I started to play less now that games aren't just an escape.

Hello. Trans woman here. Just wanna say hi.

General Leia said:

Hello. Trans woman here. Just wanna say hi.

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Hello and welcome

General Leia said:

Hello. Trans woman here. Just wanna say hi.

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Hello Leia! Welcome to the thread!

Welcome Leia! Make yourself at home. =)

Kaywee said:

Hello and welcome

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Ketkat said:

Hello Leia! Welcome to the thread!

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srsly? said:

Welcome Leia! Make yourself at home. =)

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:D Thanks for the warm welcome! So I'm going to be celebrating a pretty big milestone soon, and it's that I've been on hrt for almost 2 years now. I'm so happy about it and I hope things are ok with everybody else too. You all have my support. <3

My employer decided yesterday they don't want to change my mail address and signature to my new name until the official name change is through. So now I have no first name at all.

Even with a therapist's receipt confirming my identity and and unofficial ID I will receive soon they denied it.

Here in Germany it will probably take a year of living openly as the proper gender and like 1500€ in legal costs in order to change the official ID. That is all very unfortunate.

Amevila said:

My employer decided yesterday they don't want to change my mail address and signature to my new name until the official name change is through. So now I have no first name at all.

Even with a therapist's receipt confirming my identity and and unofficial ID I will receive soon they denied it.

Here in Germany it will probably take a year of living openly as the proper gender and like 1500€ in legal costs in order to change the official ID. That is all very unfortunate.

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That definitively does suck :( I am sorry you are dealing with such a crappy situation. I hope things improve for you in the future.

Amevila said:

My employer decided yesterday they don't want to change my mail address and signature to my new name until the official name change is through. So now I have no first name at all.

Even with a therapist's receipt confirming my identity and and unofficial ID I will receive soon they denied it.

Here in Germany it will probably take a year of living openly as the proper gender and like 1500€ in legal costs in order to change the official ID. That is all very unfortunate.

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Wow that's unbelievably dumb. A therapist and unofficial ID should be more than enough for them to take it seriously. And 1500 just to change your ID is pretty ridiculous. I'm so sorry to hear that you're having to deal with all of that

Tic Tac said:

That definitively does suck :( I am sorry you are dealing with such a crappy situation. I hope things improve for you in the future.

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At least my coworkers treat me well, so it is not all bad.

Ketkat said:

Wow that's unbelievably dumb. A therapist and unofficial ID should be more than enough for them to take it seriously. And 1500 just to change your ID is pretty ridiculous. I'm so sorry to hear that you're having to deal with all of that

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I work in bank and they claim it is because of money laundering laws. I think all the laws here are designed around scaring me away from transitioning.

Sigh, TransEra is always so inactive for the most part. This is like my favorite community on Resetera! Anyways though, I have been more active on a forum called Susan's place, which I think a lot of you would like? It is just a giant transgender community were they talk about pretty much everything. You might run into me if you go there as I use the same name and avatar there, but whatever. I actually shared a picture of myself there, which got a lot of positive comments so that is cool! Very friendly people imo. That same photo is actually on my resetera profile if anyone is interested.

So yeah just a passing comment. Also, I hope everyone is having a great day :)

Tic Tac said:

Sigh, TransEra is always so inactive for the most part. This is like my favorite community on Resetera! Anyways though, I have been more active on a forum called Susan's place, which I think a lot of you would like? It is just a giant transgender community were they talk about pretty much everything. You might run into me if you go there as I use the same name and avatar there, but whatever. I actually shared a picture of myself there, which got a lot of positive comments so that is cool! Very friendly people imo. That same photo is actually on my resetera profile if anyone is interested.

So yeah just a passing comment. Also, I hope everyone is having a great day :)

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There's a lot of people in the discord that don't really pop in the thread much. If you'd like to join us, just PM SweetNicole or Selina for an invite!

Tic Tac said:

Sigh, TransEra is always so inactive for the most part. This is like my favorite community on Resetera! Anyways though, I have been more active on a forum called Susan's place, which I think a lot of you would like? It is just a giant transgender community were they talk about pretty much everything. You might run into me if you go there as I use the same name and avatar there, but whatever. I actually shared a picture of myself there, which got a lot of positive comments so that is cool! Very friendly people imo. That same photo is actually on my resetera profile if anyone is interested.

So yeah just a passing comment. Also, I hope everyone is having a great day :)

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Truth be told most use the discord chat. The time differences can be challenging but most conversation does happen there.

After nearly a month of fruitless trying every pharmacy in my city I finally got it! Good riddance Patches! =)

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Geirskogul said:

After nearly a month of fruitless trying every pharmacy in my city I finally got it! Good riddance Patches! =)

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Great! Fuck patches

Tic Tac said:

Sigh, TransEra is always so inactive for the most part. This is like my favorite community on Resetera! Anyways though, I have been more active on a forum called Susan's place, which I think a lot of you would like? It is just a giant transgender community were they talk about pretty much everything. You might run into me if you go there as I use the same name and avatar there, but whatever. I actually shared a picture of myself there, which got a lot of positive comments so that is cool! Very friendly people imo. That same photo is actually on my resetera profile if anyone is interested.

So yeah just a passing comment. Also, I hope everyone is having a great day :)

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Would you believe that this is more active than the gaf one? :P I've heard many complaints about Susan's place because of old-guard transwomen pushing certain kinds of... expectations on people, but I've never been there myself so I can't speak as to the validity of those complaints these days.

Also your gothiness looks pretty great imo!

General Leia said:

Hello. Trans woman here. Just wanna say hi.

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I'm a bit late to the party, but hi and welcome!

Amevila said:

My employer decided yesterday they don't want to change my mail address and signature to my new name until the official name change is through. So now I have no first name at all.

Even with a therapist's receipt confirming my identity and and unofficial ID I will receive soon they denied it.

Here in Germany it will probably take a year of living openly as the proper gender and like 1500€ in legal costs in order to change the official ID. That is all very unfortunate.

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I'm sorry to hear you're in this situation. That last line sounds like insanity to me... Requiring you to live as your gender for a year while your ID still displays your old one before you can actually have it changed seems ... entirely backwards to say the least.

Tic Tac said:

Sigh, TransEra is always so inactive for the most part. This is like my favorite community on Resetera! Anyways though, I have been more active on a forum called Susan's place, which I think a lot of you would like? It is just a giant transgender community were they talk about pretty much everything. You might run into me if you go there as I use the same name and avatar there, but whatever. I actually shared a picture of myself there, which got a lot of positive comments so that is cool! Very friendly people imo. That same photo is actually on my resetera profile if anyone is interested.

So yeah just a passing comment. Also, I hope everyone is having a great day :)

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Yeah, this topic isn't very active. Most of us have moved to Discord, as Ketkat already pointed out. I think many of us feel they can talk a bit more freely there. You're free to join us!

Geirskogul said:

After nearly a month of fruitless trying every pharmacy in my city I finally got it! Good riddance Patches! =)

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<3

On a different note: I will be putting up a thread for the International Transgender Day of Visibility. I hope to have it up five hours from now at the latest. In the OP I will spotlight some transgender individuals and their work and briefly talk about issues the transgender community still faces. If you are interested in contributing to the thread - be it by sharing a personal story, spotlighting a transgender individual you find inspiring, talking about an issue we face that you want people to be more aware of, or just saying hi -, I would encourage you to jump in.

Is it normal for there to be a little blood after removing the needle? I just did my first self-injection. I injected into the upper thigh, and when the needle was in all the way I pulled back to make sure there was no blood like you're supposed too, and there wasn't, but after I had finished and removed the needle there was a a really, really small amount of blood that came out of the prick in the skin, is that normal? Other people have told me that if you do it correctly there shouldn't be any blood, and I just wanted to make sure I didn't mess anything up.

Geirskogul said:

Is it normal for there to be a little blood after removing the needle? I just did my first self-injection. I injected into the upper thigh, and when the needle was in all the way I pulled back to make sure there was no blood like you're supposed too, and there wasn't, but after I had finished and removed the needle there was a a really, really small amount of blood that came out of the prick in the skin, is that normal? Other people have told me that if you do it correctly there shouldn't be any blood, and I just wanted to make sure I didn't mess anything up.

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A little bit of blood is normal. Most of the time I get no blood at all on injections but other times I'll get a tiny bit of the estradiol coming back out. It takes a bit of practice(which can be hard when you're only doing it weekly/biweekly).

Also wanted to say hi to the thread as I'm usually lurking about but don't post much.