OP
OP
Haha, well my parents aren't a big part of my life so in my particular case its not much of a bias. You are probably on to something though for the larger population ;)
-
Ever wanted an RSS feed of all your favorite gaming news sites? Go check out our new Gaming Headlines feed! Read more about it here.
ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
- Thread starter Hollywood Duo
- Start date
Not here, my parents, who are 400+ miles away, are clearly the problem. Our situation is similar to Fable's; my parents pretty much live to eat, watch TV, and be incredibly angry (like... horrifyingly bitter and hateful) about politics, so the kids will get a years worth of Teen Titans, old Westerns, etc., when they visit, my father will take them out for milkshakes, buy them donuts, etc. Thankfully in the summer they have the pool and we just make them live in the water for 8+ hours a day to keep active, but at Thanksgiving it's pretty rough. Wife and I end up dragging them out on hikes, playgrounds (even though eldest is now officially too cool for playgrounds).
Wife's parents are great, older than mine but more active, play with the kids, etc. They also have similar diet, politics, etc., as us, so not terribly surprising.
In general I try not to sweat it too much, they both understand that sort of thing is exceptional. I think this was the first time the eldest was actively bored, too... not interested in cartoons anymore, or in playing with toys. Ah, youth.
Maybe in some cases, but my SO has already said he doesn't want our daughter staying with his parents next year. When we picked her up this year she had lost weight and was exhausted. They refused to listen when we said she needed to go to sleep at a reasonable hour because no matter how late you put her down she will wake up early and she won't nap anymore. That plus dealing with the sugar crash was awful. They were feeding her grapes covered in powder sugar, wtf. She was sunburned because they forgot to put sunscreen on her. She also gets really vain and bossy.
I expect grandparents to spoil and not to discipline on the same level as a parent but they were completely disregarding her health. She was three, three year olds need sleep, she went from getting 10-12 hours a sleep a day to 6.
They also can't seem to help themselves when it comes to telling us what we're doing "wrong" parenting wise while simultaneously treating us like we're over protective. They harp on my daughter's hair and the fact that we rarely put shoes on our infant son. Again, I expect some level of unwanted advice from grandparents but they just can't leave certain things alone no matter how many times we've explained our choices.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to post such a long reply, but they're one of my triggers. Sure, some people aren't going to be as lenient with their inlaws as their own parents, but I don't believe that's the case in my situation.
I think it may come down to trust and your relationships with everyone involved. If your parents/in-laws respect your opinions and take your concerns in mind there shouldn't be an issue. I have an extremely positive relationship with my in-laws so I don't really have preferential treatment but at the same time my parents and the in-laws definitely have different parenting styles. The situation might be very different though as they both see my daughter almost everyday so maybe they don't feel the need to overcompensate and spoil her.
I've got 2 girls, child 1 who will be 2 in a month, and child 2 who is 4 months old. Child 1 used to sleep happily in her cot at the end of our bed. This changed when child 2 arrived - we have a co-sleeping cot on mother's side of the bed for child 2, and I think child 1 got jealous that everyone else was in bed together while she was alone in her cot, so she would wake up and cry until we (and here is our first mistake) brought her into bed with us.
We're now in a situation where we basically just put child 1 to sleep in our bed at night, we don't even try to put her down in her cot. The exception to this is her daytime nap. She'll usually nap once around lunchtime, and she will often happily got to sleep in her cot with a bottle without any fuss, she'll even ask for the bottle to let us know when she's ready for her nap sometimes. This doesn't work at night though.
Has anyone had a similar situation? Any advice on how to get child 1 to sleep in her cot again at night? Or do we just need to grit our teeth, put her down in the cot, and put up with the crying for a few (hopefully) nights until she gets the idea?
We're now in a situation where we basically just put child 1 to sleep in our bed at night, we don't even try to put her down in her cot. The exception to this is her daytime nap. She'll usually nap once around lunchtime, and she will often happily got to sleep in her cot with a bottle without any fuss, she'll even ask for the bottle to let us know when she's ready for her nap sometimes. This doesn't work at night though.
Has anyone had a similar situation? Any advice on how to get child 1 to sleep in her cot again at night? Or do we just need to grit our teeth, put her down in the cot, and put up with the crying for a few (hopefully) nights until she gets the idea?
My son has his first virus. He's 9 months old was was either sleeping through the night or waking once to feed. For the past 2 nights it's been like he's 4 months old again. He's waking every 2 hours and screaming his guts out.
Disclaimer: First-time poster in this OT and my wife and I do not have kids of our own. We provide respite care for foster children - basically think of it as really short-term foster care.
I was mainly reading through some of these posts to see if there was any knowledge to glean but this post resonated with me. I recall when I was much younger that my sister had similar sleeping issues and would often either sleep in my parents room, sleep in a guest room closer to their room, or she would require my mom to check on her several times early in the night if she was trying to sleep in her own bed. This scenario went on for a long time (maybe even a year or two, if I can remember) and my mom definitely does not cherish the memory.
That situation makes me think it might be in your best interest to make her sleep in her caught and just struggle through a few cry-filled nights until she re-adjusts to sleeping in her own cot. You probably don't want this situation to continue or to potentially get any worse. I mean, you could try the approach of having someone check in on her a few times early in the night to get her used to being back in the cot but I would not do it on an on-going basis.
Just lost my baby..
He had to come out early due to complications. They said he won't breath or make a noise when he comes out because his lungs will be under-developed.
He come out screaming loud and we both cried and said yes he got through it, only to find out he was being kept alive by a team of 9 members for 2 hours..
We said they can take the wires out and we had a cuddle with him. He took his last breath, his stomachs went in and blood come out.
It's so cruel to be so excited that he is okay and then it's just not meant to be. We were handed leaflets about how to deal with it.
I saw there was a forum on it, and I was like "YES!". I can't talk too much to family about emotions as our family are a bit.. I don't know how to describe it. I can talk to my wife, but I liked the idea of talking to strangers too.
I typed in the website address and it directed me to a forum called NetMums, I was thinking okay, great for women, but is there a section for dads who also struggle? Turns out there is none, which made me sad as hell. I was up all night needing a chat.
I feel older generations of men thought everything was the women's job and they didn't worry so much about this stuff, but I'm so tuned in with everything. I bought my other 2 up on my own for months to years as my wife was ill in hospital.
My wife said I should make a forum, as I have had experience. I don't want to though. Just wish there was like.. a NetFamily or something. Anyway, just wanted to say something somewhere, I don't really care if anyone replies, and I have had enough people saying sorry that it just feels like an insult now lol
He had to come out early due to complications. They said he won't breath or make a noise when he comes out because his lungs will be under-developed.
He come out screaming loud and we both cried and said yes he got through it, only to find out he was being kept alive by a team of 9 members for 2 hours..
We said they can take the wires out and we had a cuddle with him. He took his last breath, his stomachs went in and blood come out.
It's so cruel to be so excited that he is okay and then it's just not meant to be. We were handed leaflets about how to deal with it.
I saw there was a forum on it, and I was like "YES!". I can't talk too much to family about emotions as our family are a bit.. I don't know how to describe it. I can talk to my wife, but I liked the idea of talking to strangers too.
I typed in the website address and it directed me to a forum called NetMums, I was thinking okay, great for women, but is there a section for dads who also struggle? Turns out there is none, which made me sad as hell. I was up all night needing a chat.
I feel older generations of men thought everything was the women's job and they didn't worry so much about this stuff, but I'm so tuned in with everything. I bought my other 2 up on my own for months to years as my wife was ill in hospital.
My wife said I should make a forum, as I have had experience. I don't want to though. Just wish there was like.. a NetFamily or something. Anyway, just wanted to say something somewhere, I don't really care if anyone replies, and I have had enough people saying sorry that it just feels like an insult now lol
PunkMilitia, I won't say sorry if it sounds like an insult, but I just want to say that I feel so much for you and your wife.
I'm sure you know there's lots of good people here who will want to help and support in whatever way they can if other corners of the internet are lacking for dads. I can't pretend to imagine what you're going through or have any experience of something similar, but there's an open offer of someone to chat to regardless.
Maybe in time your wife's suggestion to make a forum is a good one; it's hard to say what will help people deal with grief and when is the right time. I'd just say that for now, focus on what helps you and your immediate family first before trying to help others. It may be that the two things aren't mutually exclusive, but it's just a point to take pause and be able to recognise your own grief and how it can and likely will change over the coming days.
I'm sure you know there's lots of good people here who will want to help and support in whatever way they can if other corners of the internet are lacking for dads. I can't pretend to imagine what you're going through or have any experience of something similar, but there's an open offer of someone to chat to regardless.
Maybe in time your wife's suggestion to make a forum is a good one; it's hard to say what will help people deal with grief and when is the right time. I'd just say that for now, focus on what helps you and your immediate family first before trying to help others. It may be that the two things aren't mutually exclusive, but it's just a point to take pause and be able to recognise your own grief and how it can and likely will change over the coming days.
I understand your feelings, it's rough, when you lose a baby a part of you is lost within your self. From past experience it's rough.
I am a woman, and people need to stop thinking that ladies are the only ones who go threw pain when something like this happens.
It's horrible all the way around.
Throw your love into your family because that helped me tons. I latched on to my other kids and my love during the first few months. It's hard to deal with the pain but sometimes a little extra love can heal bits and pieces. I wish you and your family the best. <3 hang in there.
You have my condolences, PunkMilitia . I've never been through what you're going through but, as with most people, I've experienced severe (and even unexpected) loss. I always found it helpful to try rest in the embrace of my family, my faith, and the memories of the one I lost (even if they were brief).
PunkMilitia I am extremely sorry to read this, this must be so hard...
I will not try to cheer you up, nor anything really, but it reminded me of this great quote from 6 Feet Under.
''You know what I find interesting? If you lose a spouse, you're called a widow, or a widower. If you're a child and you lose your parents, then you're an orphan. But what's the word to describe a parent who loses a child? I guess that's just too fucking awful to even have a name.''
Sending all my positive vibes your way.
I will not try to cheer you up, nor anything really, but it reminded me of this great quote from 6 Feet Under.
''You know what I find interesting? If you lose a spouse, you're called a widow, or a widower. If you're a child and you lose your parents, then you're an orphan. But what's the word to describe a parent who loses a child? I guess that's just too fucking awful to even have a name.''
Sending all my positive vibes your way.
Well, it finally happened. 40w+3 'Taco' made her entrance, heralding in the first snow of the season. Round 2 was lightning fast and props to Macclesfield Hospital for having a waterbirthing room with in-built entertainment. Yes, that IS a disco ball. Yes, it rotated. Yes, they had a selection of funky music that was available. The storm-bringer (Emma) pictured below.
She was born the day before the move which made things very, um, challenging, but so far this place is brilliant, so maybe that eviction was the best thing that could have ever happened. Yay, fireplace!
She was born the day before the move which made things very, um, challenging, but so far this place is brilliant, so maybe that eviction was the best thing that could have ever happened. Yay, fireplace!
Sorry for double post!
Hoping its cleared up at this point, but man that sounds tough. My sister-in-law's kid seems to be sick constantly and doing the round the clock screaming/puking thing and I can't even imagine. Hope your kiddo is OK and your sanity intact, Slek.
Any time you want to pop in and just write down how you're feeling or talk through any of this stuff, please do. I'm a woman, but we have lots of dads in here. While there's nothing I can say that can even hope to touch on the scope of what's happened to you and your wife, many of us have experience with loss on some level, so you're in good company. Don't hesitate to share.
Hoping its cleared up at this point, but man that sounds tough. My sister-in-law's kid seems to be sick constantly and doing the round the clock screaming/puking thing and I can't even imagine. Hope your kiddo is OK and your sanity intact, Slek.
Any time you want to pop in and just write down how you're feeling or talk through any of this stuff, please do. I'm a woman, but we have lots of dads in here. While there's nothing I can say that can even hope to touch on the scope of what's happened to you and your wife, many of us have experience with loss on some level, so you're in good company. Don't hesitate to share.
Congrats! Now that our first is a big kid (nearing three years), we're feeling the urge to have another and all the cute baby pictures (like Emma's) are doing their part, too. ;)
We've considered adoption as well, but that's not an option locally (neither of the counties we live/work in have had more than a couple of children up for adoption over the past multiple years, and there are literally hundreds of families ready to adopt/foster-to-adopt) and international adoption has a number of pitfalls/hurdles that we haven't been able to adequately research. On that front, any recommendations on that front (international-adoption-related resources for families based in the US) would be appreciated.
Grats H.Protagonist and family on your new arrival :) I hope you found a new place to stay over the Christmas too.
Yeah thanks. It did clear up after the 3rd night. Just our first unpleasant taste of what a sick baby is like. I read that between 6 and 18 months the average baby will get 14-16 illnesses. Joy...
But over the past 2 days he's started walking. So that's good....and dangerous.
Last edited:
Thanks, emag. I say go for it! I need more 2+ kids company as I brave this fresh new hell. :D (Just kidding. It's not that bad -so far-) Adoption's also a possibility, but remembering the few threads we had on that topic, it sounds extremely trying logistically and emotionally. A wonderful thing to do, but man they make it tough for you.
Thanks, yo!
Cheers! And we did. We're all transferred over to the new place, nice and cozy. Only thing left now is fighting it out with an increasingly dodgy rental agency on the old place...
Thanks, chica. She totally looked like an old Asian dude who'd had about 20 beers under his belt that first night, though. As for the move, just glad to have survived it. Thank god my mother was here. Would never have managed it otherwise. Feel bad that her whole trip was essentially packing and waiting around for Taco rather than relaxing with her grandkids, but she definitely saved the day.
Thanks, Septimus! And wahey on the name~ It's, unfortunately, featured in the top 10 lists for ages, but it's just so classic-sounding. Short, feminine without being over the top, works in Japanese (for us), etc. It won out in the end despite the list thing. Was partial to Elora, too, though.
Happy to hear it didn't last too long. I think 3 days is about as much as any sleep-deprived parent can take before going off the edge. For the sickness average, though, that sounds insane! Mia will be 2 in a few months and she's been sick... 0.5 times. I say 0.5 because she only threw up once and I'm pretty sure that's because she'd been jiggled in the Ergo too long. Is that like a daycare kid average? I heard that's what gets them.
My daughter was sick once before preschool and now it feels constant. All daycares/preschools should be labeled as biohazards. Since she's in preschool our son has gotten sick a few times too. He's very much like me when he's sick and does everything he can to make us all miserable, it's one of my more endearing traits.
@hpro I'm sure your mom was thrilled she was there to help you.
@hpro I'm sure your mom was thrilled she was there to help you.
Yeah, it's too good a name to pass up, even if it's popular. I wanted to use the one-m Ema, but my wife isn't down. That second m is going to cost her $7000, if you believe the research that says each extra letter in your name costs you $7000 in earnings potential.
I loved the name Emma and so did my SO, but we wanted a less popular name so we chose Charlotte. Then the princess came along and the name blew up. I'm going to be annoyed if they have a son and name him Henry. I guess it's my own damn fault for liking British royal family names.
I imagine it would be daycare average. Our friends sent their kid to daycare and he would go for one week then be away sick for a week.
I think with daycare, they will get sick early, but it will generally build their immunity. The catch is that if there's something going around, a lot of the kids will all get sick.
Daycare sickess, especially if its a large daycare/preschool, does seem to come in waves. Last week my daughter's daycare was like a ghost town. She somehow didn't get sick but I think it was because she was a dirty carrier and the rest of the family have been KO'd for the last few days.
Man my daughter is afew months over 2 years at this point and getting her to bed has become such a chore. She used to giggle and be very excited to go to sleep but now its several minutes of prolonged crying. My wife can't even be in the same room when we put her to sleep or my daughter just keeps crying. After a week of this sudden turn of events its starting to stabilize somewhat but she will wake up in the middle of the night multiple times cry till I go in ask me for things then lay down waiting for me to rub her back for a few minutes. I suspect this wont last too long and I'm trying to follow advice regarding things but its a very stark change from the status quo. I must have been lucky because the first two years of her life have been pretty easy. I guess she's making up for lost time with a vengeance.
Man my daughter is afew months over 2 years at this point and getting her to bed has become such a chore. She used to giggle and be very excited to go to sleep but now its several minutes of prolonged crying. My wife can't even be in the same room when we put her to sleep or my daughter just keeps crying. After a week of this sudden turn of events its starting to stabilize somewhat but she will wake up in the middle of the night multiple times cry till I go in ask me for things then lay down waiting for me to rub her back for a few minutes. I suspect this wont last too long and I'm trying to follow advice regarding things but its a very stark change from the status quo. I must have been lucky because the first two years of her life have been pretty easy. I guess she's making up for lost time with a vengeance.
$7000? Nefarious! I thought that didn't count for 'classic' (common)(heh) names. I'll have to measure her by her sister and see what happens. I'm with your wide, though. A one "m" Emma looks kinda lopsided.
Hahaha. Can't win, right? I actually feel like you're spot on that "Henry" will be the next royal baby. Maybe you should take out a bet on it? Did you find yourselves (question for everyone, really) liking names that you found out later were featured heavily in the top picks lists? I wonder what it is that steers us towards those names at the same time. I loved Olivia, Ava, Sophia, etc., and then found out everyone and their cousin were naming their kids that. Before that I adored Aden and found out the same thing. :( Stupid brain!
I'm really dreading when this happens to us. We've had such consistency since I did the training at 6 months that it's always a shocker when she cries in the middle of the night. 90% of the time she settles herself, but having to do resets always makes me nervous. The nights after those my husband and I are on psychic pins and needles dreading hearing the cry that means a pattern is starting...
We did notice that HPro, we loved the names Emma and Olivia a lot and there were a couple other names in the top ten too. It wasn't the same with boy names, though, we had Henry picked out for years. I actually have a name picked out for a second son too that will never be used lol
Yeah, but seven grand! By the time they're our age, you could probably buy an iPhone with that money.
Yes, absolutely. Emma has long been a favourite though— but partner felt it was a good name for a grandmother and no one else. Used a top 10 name for the middle name and one from the bottom of the top 1000 for a first name.
Daughter is fucked with a seven letter name. Ah well.
Seven letters. ...Jessica? She'll need to start with a high base salary, so no game industry for her.
As for popular names, my name I think is pretty popular (although baristas like to spell it every possible way, except correctly). It's not so bad. I think because of that I'm pretty comfortable using top ten names for my kids.
I don't know. I think anonymity will be at a premium in the future, so a popular name will at least have that edge.
That combination would surely lead to eviction. Probably be forced into comic book industry.
Nevertheless, it was on my shortlist. Can't remember if it made it into one of the two discarded post-birth names before we settled on what we chose.
OP
OP
Oh wow congrats, can't believe I missed the update!Well, it finally happened. 40w+3 'Taco' made her entrance, heralding in the first snow of the season. Round 2 was lightning fast and props to Macclesfield Hospital for having a waterbirthing room with in-built entertainment. Yes, that IS a disco ball. Yes, it rotated. Yes, they had a selection of funky music that was available. The storm-bringer (Emma) pictured below.
She was born the day before the move which made things very, um, challenging, but so far this place is brilliant, so maybe that eviction was the best thing that could have ever happened. Yay, fireplace!
Well, my little girl just decided she was ready to come a month early. Now she's a Christmas Eve baby. Her brother was born 11/4/16.
Nora Rose. NRD makes for interesting initials.
7 lbs. 7.8 oz. 21" long.
She has way more hair than my son, Wesley, did.
Nora Rose. NRD makes for interesting initials.
7 lbs. 7.8 oz. 21" long.
She has way more hair than my son, Wesley, did.
OP
OP
mini "scare" this morning!
wife thought her water may have broke, but wasn't sure. so to be safe called her dr and we went to the hospital
turns out it wasn't it, but the doctor scheduled her to be induced on the 27th(our due date) lol
SCORE
i like having a hard date, instead of just constantly worrying it could happen at any moment haha
wife thought her water may have broke, but wasn't sure. so to be safe called her dr and we went to the hospital
turns out it wasn't it, but the doctor scheduled her to be induced on the 27th(our due date) lol
SCORE
i like having a hard date, instead of just constantly worrying it could happen at any moment haha
Congratulations False Witness! What a lovely name and an amazing Christmas present!
Merry Christmas to all of ParentEra from Sullivan too, however you choo choo choose to spend it.
Merry Christmas to all of ParentEra from Sullivan too, however you choo choo choose to spend it.
Whoever designed boxes for toys needs to be thrown in jail. Preferably in the same cell as the person that designed blister packs.
OP
OP
He's not even old enough for that ha only 9 weeks so it's wake cry eat sleep repeat
OP
OP
Thank you, everyone.
Of course, I stopped by the house to grab a few extra things for the hospital and discovered the house had been broken into. They left the presents under our little tree, but they took off with the PS4, PS4 Pro, and two 32" TVs we had in the living room. Oh well, all of it will be easily replaced once we make an insurance claim. Luckily none of us were home.
Of course, I stopped by the house to grab a few extra things for the hospital and discovered the house had been broken into. They left the presents under our little tree, but they took off with the PS4, PS4 Pro, and two 32" TVs we had in the living room. Oh well, all of it will be easily replaced once we make an insurance claim. Luckily none of us were home.
Ha it's good so far. Only problem is he really seems to hate Xbox. Every time I boot it up he wakes up.
And the air bags! Or "stomp-n-pops," as I just made up right now.
Damn, sorry to hear, but I'm glad everyone was safe, and now you can use the insurance money to buy new stuff!
PlayStation guy, huh? Greatness awaits him. U r not e