American Academy of Pediatrics releases new policy on spanking kids: Don't

While I'm on team don't-spank, I wish there was more of a focus on alternatives to spanking than just telling people not to spank. While many people on the spanking defense force seem to defend spanking because they feel they or their parents are being personally attacked for using corporal punishment and their defense mechanism takes over, I think there are others that truly feel like spanking "just works" and don't know what else to do (and aren't going to read books or take classes on how to parent).

Over the last ten or so years I''ve seen countless discussions, arguments, and debates over spanking, but a fraction of those discussions actually took a deep dive into alternatives. Even the suggestions listed in the article seemed very broad and perhaps shallow and I can already hear the spanking defense force saying "well what if that doesn't work?" Anecdotes are usually discouraged when facts are available, but facts don't always discourage people from breaking tradition, especially when the facts go against intuition. I think that's why so many of them ask "do you even have kids?" because they intuitively believe spanking sometimes is the only way to correct behavior. Anecdotes that include tried and true alternatives to spanking may help with them.

I don't know why you'd want to teach your kids that violence, abuse and pain comes from someone they love.

It's a new age for sure. I only got like three spanking in my whole life.

The idea of hitting children is one of the most disgusting and abhorrent things I can think of.

It baffles my mind that if I ran up to a middle aged man and punched him in the face, I could be arrested and put in jail, yet adults are allowed to hit small, defense-less children whenever they want so long as they don't cause any medical injury. Truly mind boggling.

Ingueferroque said:

Well, when I say 'so many' I remember at least two.

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Yeah, large majority don't spank for punishment, most of the situations was a 'bop' to prevent the toddler etc from harming themselves.

But Some of ERA took that as we have dozens of ERA parents abusing their children

On Today's "no shit" news.


I'll say what Ive mentioned in similar threads. After my deadbeat dad left I had to take on the "fatherly" role a bit with my younger brother. And disciplining him was something I was much more effective at than my abusive mother specifically because unlike her I never hit him. See, he had the fear of what I was capable of, and knrw thst I respected his person. That meant all I ever had to do was raise my voice slightly when I told him to do something.

If you need to read a report to find out that you shouldn't physically abuse children...

Good, I will always be thankful for my parents making the decision to never hurt my sister or myself growing up. They had rough childhoods and were beaten a lot and without looking at most any data available to them in the 90's about how beating a child effects their mental well being and development. Made the call to end the cycle of violence in their families ended with them.

Sampson said:

The idea of hitting children is one of the most disgusting and abhorrent things I can think of.

It baffles my mind that if I ran up to a middle aged man and punched him in the face, I could be arrested and put in jail, yet adults are allowed to hit small, defense-less children whenever they want so long as they don't cause any medical injury. Truly mind boggling.

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I dunno I get the feeling trump wasn't spanked as a child. Obama though, he grew up in Indonesia. He definitely got spanked.

Siggy-P said:

On Today's "no shit" news.


I'll say what Ive mentioned in similar threads. After my deadbeat dad left I had to take on the "fatherly" role a bit with my younger brother. And disciplining him was something I was much more effective at than my abusive mother specifically because unlike her I never hit him. See, he had the fear of what I was capable of, and knrw thst I respected his person. That meant all I ever had to do was raise my voice slightly when I told him to do something.

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This is confusing. You say the reason he listened to you is because he knew what you were capable of. Your situation makes it seem like he respected you because his mom beat him so he expected the same from you which is why he stopped acting up when you raised your voice. That's the exact argument people who beat their kids use. They beat them and then later the kid listens because the child is afraid of what the parent is capable of.

Bronx-Man said:

"My parents whooped me and I turned out just fine!" - niggas that grew up to develop anxiety and clinical depression before they turned 19

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Facts.

If I have kids I won't beat them....

But man do I wanna smack the shit out of other people's kids sometimes.

Bronx-Man said:

"My parents whooped me and I turned out just fine!" - niggas that grew up to develop anxiety and clinical depression before they turned 19

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Yeah some people (blacks?) aren't really telling you the truth when it comes to their psyche in this regard but they will tell you they are fine anyway, me included. Think about certain things a lot. However I for one would never take the fact that I am at least "functional" and physically reprimand my progeny

Me and my brothers were little dick heads as kids sometimes and got spanked and it worked. I don't envy my mom having to deal with three kids, spanking was a quick solution to an exhaustive problem made worse by three kids. Kids constantly push boundaries to see how far they can go and a good spanking was a line too far for us!

JealousKenny said:

This is confusing. You say the reason he listened to you is because he knew what you were capable of. Your situation makes it seem like he respected you because his mom beat him so he expected the same from you which is why he stopped acting up when you raised your voice. That's the exact argument people who beat their kids use. They beat them and then later the kid listens because the child is afraid of what the parent is capable of.

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No. That's not what I'm saying.

What I'm saying is that when my mum hit him, he saw the full extent of what she was capable of. Consequently there was no respect for her or her authority. He knew that she would hit him regardless of what he did and that he was being treated unfairly so he stopped doing what she told him.

With me, I never hit him. So he respected my authority because I respected him. I never hit him so when I raised my voice he never tried to argue back. That he feared me because he didn't know what I could do to him is a small part. The point is he knew that I wouldn't discipline him malicioualy or unfairly so he was more willing to co-operative and do his homework when I told him to.

I'd love to know how many people this will convince.

SageShinigami said:

I'd love to know how many people this will convince.

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Something as ingrained as this into someone's psyche, probably only a small few. But if we keep repeating that beating kids is not okay the message will sink in over time.

Bronx-Man said:

"My parents whooped me and I turned out just fine!" - niggas that grew up to develop anxiety and clinical depression before they turned 19

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i feel attacked

Most parents misuse or use it inconsistently so it is probably for the best.

I was spanked a ton. And looking back I agree on it. But times have changed and there are indeed much better approaches to discipline. So fine by me.

Rewarding someone for good behavior is better than punishing someone for bad behavior.

Hopefully sometime in the future parents will realize that it's not a balanced scale

99Luffy said:

It's why Asian kids, immigrants in general are so much smarter and better behaved than western raised kids imo. Of course you shouldn't beat your kids, but there should be that thought of physical repercussion that deters them. Not 'no more iPad for a week.'

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Nah

My mom never spanked or hit me growing up, but we did get whacked a few times and my brothers and I completely deserved it. Universally saying no spanking is easy because it is an absolutely terrifying experience, but a whack in the arm or a flick in the ear on a rare occasion isn't going to scar anyone.

Siggy-P said:

Something as ingrained as this into someone's psyche, probably only a small few. But if we keep repeating that beating kids is not okay the message will sink in over time.

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It helps that medical professional communities come out with official guidance. There are mentions of people knowing that hitting kids as discipline is wrong going way back (Grant's memoirs is a famous example) but that knowledge is cyclical and often lost to subsequent generations.

99Luffy said:

I dunno I get the feeling trump wasn't spanked as a child. Obama though, he grew up in Indonesia. He definitely got spanked.

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Imagine Trump could have learned to be even more of a bully

Good luck overcoming generations of culturally ingrained behavior regarding childrearing. I have given up on the task just in my own family.

My parents didn't hit me very often, but it still totally fucked me up. To this day I flinch if my dad touches me.

I mean, it's telling the only defenders of spanking are people that got spanked. Generational justification of "I had to go through, and so should you".

If your a teacher, though, feel free to throw some punches at older kids if they get out of line. Most of Era will support you on that.

My dad used to light my ass up.

Took a really long time for my resentment to leave.

About damn time. Don't fucking hit your children.

Why is this such a hard thing to understand?

Teh Hamburglar said:

Hey doctors, stay in your lane.

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LMAO

I've seen Parents who don't spank their child, depending on the child, it can be good or bad. Children who don't give a FU about other non-spanking punishments and just keep being troublesome can see the repercussion. I told my wife that if I can't spank and the child no matter what punishment you give them, won't change, I will send them to the adoption agency or boot camp and be done with it.

[mod edit: post reverted to its original version for context]

I wonder how people reconcile being pro choice but are against spankings.

Also I didn't read the article, but it's easy to say what not to do, but does their research say what is the best form of discipline for a child?

Josh378 said:

I've seen Parents who don't spank their child, depending on the child, it can be good or bad. Children who don't give a FU about other non-spanking punishments and just keep being troublesome can see the repercussion. I told my wife that if I can't spank and the child no matter what punishment you give them, won't change, I will send them to the adoption agency or boot camp and be done with it.

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What a catch you are. Hopefully she realized st that moment you werent father material.

WarLox said:

I wonder how people reconcile being pro choice but are against spankings.

Also I didn't read the article, but it's easy to say what not to do, but does their research say what is the best form of discipline for a child?

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There are countless resources that go into depth in dealin with disciplining your kids. Its just a lot of people are eithere will fully ignorant, stupid, or just thugs.

99Luffy said:

I dunno I get the feeling trump wasn't spanked as a child. Obama though, he grew up in Indonesia. He definitely got spanked.

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Nah I'm pretty sure Trump was punished too severely in many ways and on many occasions as a child.
Probably part of why he become such a resentful, grudge holding dick.

I will take things one step further: the pro-corporal punishment (including spanking) crowd is not far off of climate change denial or anti-vaccination in terms of harmful ignorance.

I am not sure how you can convince pro-spanking people as while the individual may not even spank their child themselves, they were themselves spanked as a child. Thus they see anti-spanking arguments as insinuating their parents were bad people.

WarLox said:

I wonder how people reconcile being pro choice but are against spankings.

Also I didn't read the article, but it's easy to say what not to do, but does their research say what is the best form of discipline for a child?

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The article that the OP links indeed offers some alternatives for disciplining a child, even separated by age groups.

Shake Appeal said:

Also the ones that grew up to hit their own kids in turn.

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The funny thing is a lot of them don't but will defend it anyway.

They know it's kind of fucked up, which is why they've decided against doing it themselves, but don't want to process that it is fucked up conciously because that would mean acknowledging their parents fucked up.

WarLox said:

I wonder how people reconcile being pro choice but are against spankings.

Also I didn't read the article, but it's easy to say what not to do, but does their research say what is the best form of discipline for a child?

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This is a weird ass post.

Part one:
wat

Part two:
"Sure, it's easy to call abuse bad. But has anyone come up with something better?? (didn't click the link)"

Bad parents will listen to this about as much as they listen to doctors about vaccines.

WarLox said:

I wonder how people reconcile being pro choice but are against spankings.

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Uh... what?

WarLox said:

I wonder how people reconcile being pro choice but are against spankings.

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What? Like how......... what?

Who the hell are they to tell me that I can't unleash the Chankla?

WarLox said:

I wonder how people reconcile being pro choice but are against spankings.

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This is the stupidest thing I read all week, and that includes plenty of Trumpite defenses.

Anecdotally, my father spanked his first two kids, but not the second two (including me). Still haunts my older siblings, haunted *my father* enough to never do it on me, and oddly, he was still very strict. You don't have to abuse your children to get points across.

Yeah, this seems like a good idea.

Had spankings/whoopings growing up and it left me with anger issues and a long running resentment of my parents that creeps up every now and then.

Said anger issues have pretty much killed the idea of having children for me as I am afraid I would just continue the chain of abuse.

Bizarrely enough, by the time I had grown and left the house, they must have realized something because my siblings were never disciplined in the same manner and still have the same overall sense of ethics and judgement as I do.

metalslimer said:

How many posts until the anecdotal evidence about how they just had to hit their kids to get them to shut up or how terribly they would have turned out had they not been hit

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I got spanked as a kid and... actually with how worked up I could get over things and how anxious/cowardly I feel at times I really doubt it helped a damn thing! Probably just created bigger problems.

If anyone would like to get beat to learn how shitty being beaten is, please let me know I'd be happy to assist.