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women of era, how do you feel about being "cold approached"?
- Thread starter hydrophilic attack
- Start date
Insert albatross postIf we're going to get the parallel with the way things happen for women, you know it's gonna be mildly agressive most of the time
I'm sorry my lived experience of being harassed by men on a near daily basis and living with several other women who share the same experience is inconvenient for you. I'm sorry it's more comfortable for you to be an uncaring asshole who presumes loftiness over the whole affair instead of seeing the hurt that exists.
My post wasn't directed at you. There are plenty of post in here that make women sound like some prize to be won.
His particular post was pointing out many of the, "but girls have told me" posts in this thread.
It wasn't meant as an attack on you, but sorry if you take it that way. And to be clear, I am not discounting what anyone has been told by the women in their lives.
Just pointing those who use it prop up their life experience over the words of others (especially when there are female posters in here telling their stories/experiences).
I mean, I can empathize with the terror and/or embarrassment of rejection and all, but the woman's worst fear is of being raped, kidnapped, or killed by a crazy stranger guy who just wants her for her body. Bit of a difference in worst outcomes.
I'm wary about randos, but I'll respond if they seem nice. But honestly I don't like it. It doesn't work for me.
The guy is more terrified? Da fuck.
The guy is more terrified? Da fuck.
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The guy is terrified of wounded pride, rather than having to consider whether wounding that pride will lead to harassment, stalking, assault etc. Not exactly comparable.
Go find random guys that will willingly go chat up attractive women they don't know in non-social situations with no hesitation. That's not the reality of the situation for most people.
I would bet pretty good money not even 5% of the men on this board wouldn't be able to cold approach an attractive woman at the snap of finger.
I refuse to believe you are serious about this. Think for a second.
It must be heaven being a guy. The entitlement alone.
User banned (72 hours): Dismissing concerns of sexual harassment.
lmao at all this from my post.
Ok, and I can find a far larger percentage of women who are afraid the next guy talking to them will kill them for saying no so NO, the man is most definitly NOT the one more scared.
I can't imagine that it would be something women desire, even if the person is not persistent about it.
It's one thing if they're in a social or group gathering, but pestering them when they're out and about and minding their own business is pretty sleazy.
It's one thing if they're in a social or group gathering, but pestering them when they're out and about and minding their own business is pretty sleazy.
I live in Berlin which, granted, is a pretty sexually open (and aggresive) city. But my girl friends have never had a problem with this. One of my best friends, a girl from France, and I often talk about tinder/dating/sex ect and she loves being approached by guys randomly (with respect) because of the confidence it takes.
Women literally don't know if a no will put their safety at risk. Get even a modicum of rationality bro. I;d say empathy but I'm not Jesus and can't work miracles.
I just saw his post, crazy thing is with how some replies are here, I'm half expecting someone to really hold that position.
I lived in Berlin for years. I went to university there and I worked at several well known clubs. It is a huge issue for many women there.
The issue can have some nuances. One can acknowledge that approaching women is quite often terrifying for men while acknowledging the other side of the coin. You want everything to be black/white when it's not.
I don't give two shits if harassing me on the street corner is scary for you bro.
I'm sure she loves being catcalled and groped in the subway, I mean it takes confidence to do that amirite.
That still doesn't make fear of rejection, lack of confidence or wounded pride or whatever anywhere close to the fear of whether someone that's bigger and stronger than you will take rejection so badly they'll become dangerous.
Really depends on the setting and circumstance imo.
Quite a few years ago I was on transit going home after a night downtown watching the hockey game. Struck up conversation with a girl. It went well, she was clearly engaged in the conversation. At my stop I asked for her number, she smiled and gave it to me.
Looking back it seemed like a pretty neutral, safe setting I guess? I'm alone, she's with friends. Other people on transit as well. I'm not intimidating at all either hah.
I've also straight up just had women not say a word and walk away from me. Like the girl that sat beside my on the train and had some crazy comic book leggings on. I made a random comment about the panel that happened across her knee. She gave me a weird look, got up and walked away.
Every girl is different. I'd say just don't be pushy or forceful. Be aware of body language and setting. Maybe that girl walking alone on the sidewalk in the middle of the night isn't an ideal time to be asked for her number.
Quite a few years ago I was on transit going home after a night downtown watching the hockey game. Struck up conversation with a girl. It went well, she was clearly engaged in the conversation. At my stop I asked for her number, she smiled and gave it to me.
Looking back it seemed like a pretty neutral, safe setting I guess? I'm alone, she's with friends. Other people on transit as well. I'm not intimidating at all either hah.
I've also straight up just had women not say a word and walk away from me. Like the girl that sat beside my on the train and had some crazy comic book leggings on. I made a random comment about the panel that happened across her knee. She gave me a weird look, got up and walked away.
Every girl is different. I'd say just don't be pushy or forceful. Be aware of body language and setting. Maybe that girl walking alone on the sidewalk in the middle of the night isn't an ideal time to be asked for her number.
Men are afraid of women rejecting them. Women are afraid of men killing them.
No, it's far more black and white than you think.
"Look women, you should have some empathy for men who see you, on the street, as just an object of conquest, it's very scary for them to act on their objectification, so come on remember men are human beings!"
Oddly, this consideration to consider others as human beings don't extend to women for some reason.
:thonking:
I'm checking out. I can't take anymore of UltraMagnus' nonstop spewing of feeble minded Incel bullshit.
Yea but no, you're on the wrong side of this. Look at what women have responded with and accept it as the reality. Because it is, they just told you.
Do you think they are lying to you????
And what percentage of men do you think murder people for not reacting well to their advances? Do all men really need to be painted with that brush?
Of course, they're not humans because they're prizes to be won.
When you see Lewis Hamilton holding a trophy you don't wonder what he tells the trophy before showing it to the world.
And remember if it's this bad here, imagine what the conversation is like elsewhere, where people are less constrained by a somewhat decent TOS.
"Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them."
How are we gonna know you won't kill us until you either do or don't?
What's next you gonna say it;s sexist for women to be concerned about their safety when strange men hit on them out of the blue?
But that wasnt the question.
If the question was - Women of Era, how do you feel about being catcalled and groped in the subway - I would have given a different answer.
?????
The terror you feel about whether or not you should harass someone should be a loud and clear sign: DO NOT APPROACH. That's not just the comfortable thing to do, that's the right thing to do.
❤️
Are you a man?
Can you walk up and cold approach a woman without any nervousness? I doubt it.
How many men do you think that honestly can do that.
When well over half of the women murdered are by their intimate partners, they're doing well in being wary of men at all
And before you ask, I'm a dude as shown in my bio here.
For the most part, I don't mind if people talk to me out of the blue, but I'm very cautious due to multiple bad experiences while living in San Francisco. I've been attacked by a random woman and have been approached by many random men in San Francisco who were really blatant about what their intentions were. Like to the point that most here would consider it to be sexual harrassment. I'm a guy btw and I just deal with it lol.
This is a good thing, more men should be afraid to do it.
But I get it dude it's easier for you to relate to wanting to fuck a random woman stranger you see on the street than it is to imagine that said random women stranger might just want to get to work without being propositioned for a fuck.
the question was about cold approach, catcalling is actually just that.
It's a shitty ineffective type of cold approach.