Hallmark Channel's Countdown To Christmas |OT| - Assembly Line Holiday Cheer

NilesGottaHaveIt · Oct 27, 2018

Cats said:
There was one movie one time on this channel that was actually kind of interesting because it was a ripoff of groundhogs day, and it was kinda cool to see a less 'dark' version of that premise. It was like a highschool guy living the same Christmas over and over. Don't know the name sadly and that was like in 2000... Otherwise, god these movies aren't even funny to watch and laugh at. They are just so stock and boring.

Yes! That's "Christmas Every Day" featuring "Brink" star Erik Von Detton. My brother and I loved that movie when we were kids. It got a pretty decent amount of airtime on Disney Channel and ABC family. The existence of a middle class white kid with two parents that hates Christmas always seemed strange to me, but I still loved the movie all the same.

DrForester · Oct 27, 2018

Well, that was a nice, generic start to Christmas.

Terrible Santa though.

There was a Hallmark movie last year, Christmas in Evergreen, that had an amazing Santa.

MV5BNjYwNGNjNjMtYTQyZi00NDZiLWJlOTItZDZkMDcwYzI2ZTM0XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyODA4MzkyNjM@._V1_SX1499_CR0,0,1499,999_AL_.jpg

EvilChameleon · Oct 27, 2018

So is DJ the "shoe addict"?

Deleted member 11985 · Oct 27, 2018

That movie wasn't too bad. The green screen effects were pretty sharp. It took me until almost the end of the movie to realize that all the snowfall was computer generated too.

I'm not quite sure I understand how the billionaire deciding not to sell his 20 bedroom mansion is the thing that saved Christmas, but I liked the menage trois between the main characters. I feel bad that Mr. Mayor got snubbed again, but good on him for looking out for his friend's happiness.

Overall, I give it a 2/10.

SolidSnakex · Oct 27, 2018

Bragg said:
Man, this gave me a hardy chuckle.

This is like my mom's favorite pass time and these descriptions are spot on.

But isn't Lori Loughlin like the queen of these?

I went scrolling through the movies here

http://www.hallmarkchannel.com/movies

Lacey Chabert, Alicia Witt and Danica McKellar seem to take the crown for that. They star in at least three movies each.

Tfritz · Oct 27, 2018

Do any of these ever cross over with Hallmark's murder mysteries

Delio · Oct 27, 2018

My Grandmother loves these movies. That big post earlier saying the three types of movies they have are so spot on. The plots are so cookiecutter and "SAFE".

DrForester · Oct 28, 2018

Hadn't seen this one before.

Rather than a girl meets prince story, this one is a guy meets princess story.

One of the funniest things about these movies when royalty is involved, they just make up a vaguely European country that just mashes up anything. In this movie's case the country is German-ish.

Dennis8K said:
Not sure if creepy

*sips a cup of Folgers*

It's a trilogy.

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The first one was one of the better movies I've seen on the channel.

neptunez · Oct 28, 2018

Where does the money to make these things stuff come from?

DrForester · Oct 28, 2018

neptunez said:
Where does the money to make these things stuff come from?

https://www.countryliving.com/life/...5609/hallmark-channel-christmas-movies-facts/

They're filmed on a TV show budget.

Ogodei · Oct 28, 2018

Stuff like this is why I love Era. You'd never learn about something like this anywhere else, or certainly not to the level of detail DrForester put into it here. Kudos.

neptunez · Oct 28, 2018

DrForester said:
https://www.countryliving.com/life/...5609/hallmark-channel-christmas-movies-facts/

They're filmed on a TV show budget.

Business Insider, which also dove into the world of Hallmark movies, reports that each movie costs about $2 million to make, which is the cost of one episode of some television shows.

For the amount of money they make back from the commercials, that is pretty cheap

I'd say they were made with the intent of showing more commercial during their respective time slots.

Deleted member 6223 · Oct 28, 2018

Thank you for this wonderful thread DrForester! lmao.

DrForester said:
Going through the new movie list. There appear to be 3 new films with POC leads. And yeah, they follow the same formulas story wise.

Christmas Everlasting - November 24

A Majestic Christmas - December 2

A Gingerbread Romance - December 15

Welp, more movies to watch!

gforguava · Oct 28, 2018

If The Magic Stocking shows up this year(let's be real, they all show up every year) everyone should give it a look. Bridget Regan and Victor Webster have legitimate chemistry and it makes all the difference with these things.

Most of these things have just dreadful male leads like another favorite of mine Christmas Magic with Lindy Booth as a...purgatorial ghost-angel or something. This one works because it is so ridiculous and has the the best/worst original song ever but the male romantic lead is garbage.

Also, there is one with Meghan Ory that I can't think of the name that involves the government thinking she is a terrorist or something. So there is that.

But The Magic Stocking is the one time that I sat down and watched one of these and it succeeded on its own modest terms.

sprsk · Oct 28, 2018

These are the best movies. I'm very happy we have a thread this year but don't forget the new "king" of algorithm based Christmas movirs, A Christmas Prince over on Netflix. We're getting a sequel this year!

DrForester · Oct 28, 2018

There was one movie I never finished...

When it was on TV, I didn't know it was a sequel to The Christmas Shoes, but I figured it out in the first few minute and turned it off and just watched this....

Another movie lovers of bad Christmas movies need to watch (this was a Lifetime movie)

v

It's terrible, but Grump Cat pretty much MST3Ks it and riffs her own movie, which makes it tolerable.

sprsk said:
These are the best movies. I'm very happy we have a thread this year but don't forget the new "king" of algorithm based Christmas movirs, A Christmas Prince over on Netflix. We're getting a sequel this year!

Awww hell yeah!

AudioEppa · Oct 28, 2018

WTF...I can't believe I'm actually seeing a thread for Hallmark holiday movies on Era... Now I gotta wonder if my mama has an account on here.

Lump · Oct 28, 2018

YouTube TV not having Hallmark is going to be tragic this year.

AudioEppa · Oct 28, 2018

Lump said:
YouTube TV not having Hallmark is going to be tragic this year.

Should've got PS Vue bruh.

Keywork · Oct 28, 2018

I just have to post about this Christmas movie my wife watched on Netflix as I'm guessing this is kind of a catch-all for schlocky Christmas romantic movies. It's called "The Spirit of Christmas" and it is about a ghost who comes back to life for 12 days before every Christmas. It was something else.

dabig2 · Oct 28, 2018

Keywork said:
I just have to post about this Christmas movie my wife watched on Netflix as I'm guessing this is kind of a catch-all for schlocky Christmas romantic movies. It's called "The Spirit of Christmas" and it is about a ghost who comes back to life for 12 days before every Christmas. It was something else.

Looking at IMDB summaries:

Kate, a workaholic lawyer, has three weeks to get a haunted bed and breakfast appraised and sold. The uncooperative manager claims a spirit who lives there will not approve. With Kate's possible promotion resting on accomplishing this task, she checks in and haggles with the aforesaid Christmas spirit, who suspiciously seems awfully solid for a ghost.

Emotionally frigid attorney Kate Jordan reluctantly accepts an end-of-the-year assignment to get a reputedly haunted inn appraised and sold by year's end. By and by she meets Daniel, the resident ghost who, for the past ninety-five years, inexplicably returns to life each December during the twelve days of Christmas. Kate has only one logical recourse for their mutual benefit: break the curse that binds him - but falling for a man almost a century her senior isn't among her plans.

Yeeeeeep, boxes are checked.

Lump · Oct 30, 2018

http://www.hallmarkchannel.com/schedule

It's not even Halloween and the live schedule is already wall to wall Christmas movies, holy crap.

I really need to find a way to get Hallmark channel that's compatible with Google Assistant enabled TVs so I can just pop it up on the TV when my wife is in the living room or bedroom. She gets furious at these movies and it would be hilarious.

DrForester · Oct 30, 2018

Lump said:
http://www.hallmarkchannel.com/schedule

It's not even Halloween and the live schedule is already wall to wall Christmas movies, holy crap.

I really need to find a way to get Hallmark channel that's compatible with Google Assistant enabled TVs so I can just pop it up on the TV when my wife is in the living room or bedroom. She gets furious at these movies and it would be hilarious.

2 channels actually. The Hallmark Mystery channel is also non-stop Christmas.

No clue about google assistant. Does it work with Sling? There's a $5 a month "Lifestyle" add-on for Sling that I use to 2 months to get the Hallmark channels.

Lump · Oct 30, 2018

DrForester said:
2 channels actually. The Hallmark Mystery channel is also non-stop Christmas.

No clue about google assistant. Does it work with Sling? There's a $5 a month "Lifestyle" add-on for Sling that I use to 2 months to get the Hallmark channels.

I think I could pull it off with PlayStation Vue or maybe Sling using Chromecast features, but I don't think I'll risk the headache of dealing with the free trial cancellation just to play a joke on my wife. But damn it's tempting.

DrForester · Oct 31, 2018

Who wants some Thanksgiving in their Christmas?

Overworked city girl inherits her aunt's house in Plymouth. Edward J. Handsome back there is the town's nerdy historian, and believes the first Thanksgiving may have been held on the site where her house now is. She doesn't want the house taken away from her.

Two Surprising Things.

1. Edward J. Handsome's dad is played by Tron.
2. In a shocking 20 seconds of self awareness, Mr. Handsome is giving a history lecture about the First Thanksgiving, and how the Pilgrims and the Natives came together. A black man in the audience asks how that worked out for the natives. It was quick moment, but still one I was surprised to see.

Keywork · Nov 1, 2018

The main actress in that movie is the same one who plays Elena in the Uncharted series.

DrForester · Nov 2, 2018

Well, every year I seem to find a new Christmas Carol adaptation to watch, thanks to Hallmark, I've hit my quota...

This is an old one, and probably not a Hallmark movie, but something they've licensed for the season. It's your standard Christmas Carol story set in modern times. Being that Ms. Scrooge is a black woman, they try to tie in some racism of the day into the Ghost of Christmas Past stuff.

But, there was one thing that bugged me. We're in the past, doing the whole thing where Scrooge gives up on love to pursue wealth. Well, this movie had a twist that makes you sympathize with Scrooge. Scrooge has worked her way up at the Bank and the guy literally expects her to start over at the bottom of the ladder to move away with him.

Other than that, it really is just a run-of-the-mill Christmas Carol story. Only notable thing was that the Ghost of Christmas Future was not robed, but just this creepy, lanky white guy.

DrForester · Nov 3, 2018

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One thing I notice about watching old Hallmark Christmas movies, is that the older they are, the more like actual movies they seem. They're less cookie cutter in their premise, and at least feel a bit original, even if not that good.

Anyways, John Bender is Santa. But the Christmas Committee thinks he's not spreading enough Christmas Cheer and says they're going to fire him and cancel Christmas unless he can bring some holiday cheer to 3 hard luck cases. So Santa and one annoying elf, get a job as janitors at the boy's school "Preppy-Academy".

The movie was sweet enough. Rodimus there has one really annoying "ho-ho-ho". But not Steve Guttenberg annoying.

Hours Left · Nov 3, 2018

Where are the cheesy holiday movies with gay leads? I want schlock too!

DrForester · Nov 3, 2018

Hours Left said:
Where are the cheesy holiday movies with gay leads? I want schlock too!

Hallmark is just getting used to making cheesy holiday movies with non-white people, give it 5-10 years.

I want to say there's been a few "gay friends" to the female leads in these movies, but heck if I can remember specific ones.

DrForester · Nov 3, 2018

Here's another Hallmark trope that shows up now and then with Hallmark. Woman is about to get married but meets another guy and realizes that HE is her true love.

DJ is going to meet her fiance in New York and meet his family, a super-rich "we're dining with the Senator" kind of family. A storm delays them, and she meets Christmas Grump, who is happy to not be going home for Christmas because his ex-fiance is now engaged to his brother. Grump wants to help her, and he rents a car to drive them, and another couple back to New York. The two fall in love, Christmas Magic is restored, and DJ's now ex-fiance is way to calm about being dumped.

They also keep cutting back to the fiance's house which looks hilariously bad, and they always use a flat establishing shot. I can't tell if it's a bad CGI, a bad model, or a real house with bad CGI snow and decorations thrown over it...

DrForester · Nov 3, 2018

Time for a Premier Event!

Joy Holbrook is an intuitive market researcher in DC who has captured the attention of the account's CEO and is about to get a sweet promotion, just in time for the holidays. She receives an urgent phone call from home and she rushes back to Crystal Falls, NC to help her Aunt recover from surgery and is reunited with her former crush, Ben. To keep her Aunt focused on healing, Joy volunteers to take Ruby's place with the town's legendary baking competition, the "Cookie Crawl," much to the amusement of Ben who knows Joy has absolutely no idea of the Herculean task before her. Though Joy initially refuses Ben's attempts to "co-captain," she begins to soften and let him in, all the while remembering that there truly is no place like home. Starring Danielle Panabaker and Matt Long.

Deleted member 11985 · Nov 3, 2018

This episode is pushing the country life > city life narrative really hard. They've even been foreshadowing a big showdown between brick and mortar and online shopping.

Brick and mortar is dead, you holiday cheerful bastards.

Claude Augario · Nov 3, 2018

DrForester said:
Here's another Hallmark trope that shows up now and then with Hallmark. Woman is about to get married but meets another guy and realizes that HE is her true love.

DJ is going to meet her fiance in New York and meet his family, a super-rich "we're dining with the Senator" kind of family. A storm delays them, and she meets Christmas Grump, who is happy to not be going home for Christmas because his ex-fiance is now engaged to his brother. Grump wants to help her, and he rents a car to drive them, and another couple back to New York. The two fall in love, Christmas Magic is restored, and DJ's now ex-fiance is way to calm about being dumped.

They also keep cutting back to the fiance's house which looks hilariously bad, and they always use a flat establishing shot. I can't tell if it's a bad CGI, a bad model, or a real house with bad CGI snow and decorations thrown over it...

It looks like tiny clay people should be living in that house.

Bangai O · Nov 3, 2018

First Tom Cavanagh, now Danielle Panabaker, when is Grant Gustin going to be in a Hallmark movie?!

mellow_jack411 · Nov 3, 2018

I don't know why they start this before Halloween. Like, why?

....plus I like ending my night catching an episode or two of Frasier....

Rad Bandolar · Nov 3, 2018

Bragg said:
Man, this gave me a hardy chuckle.

This is like my mom's favorite pass time and these descriptions are spot on.

But isn't Lori Loughlin like the queen of these?

Oh man, it's the sheriff from Eureka instead of some Great Value dude. I guess they have to step it up a bit on a Lori Loughlin joint.

Now I'm mad about Syfy cancelling Eureka again.

Deleted member 11985 · Nov 3, 2018

Rural christmas spirit claims another victim. Who will stop this mad spree of sexy outdoorsy dudes with beautifully decorated homes and picturesque families from ensnaring city girls in elaborate schemes of love and friendship?

maruchan · Nov 3, 2018

i was at my parents house this week, on november 1st, a day after halloween. i swear every fucking channel had a christmas movie, not including hallmark channel. i WATCHED 3 of these, j have no idea why they are awful...

im going to see some more lol...

DrForester · Nov 3, 2018

DrForester said:
Time for a Premier Event!

Even for a hallmark movie, this one ended up being REALLY bad. It was just so dull.

DrForester · Nov 4, 2018

The most epic Christmas Trilogy* in Hallmark History is about to come to an end.

*It's the only trilogy in the Hallmark filmography.

Deleted member 11985 · Nov 4, 2018

Wtf, I missed a new movie?! This schedule is a gauntlet.

DrForester said:
The most epic Christmas Trilogy* in Hallmark History is about to come to an end.

*It's the only trilogy in the Hallmark filmography.

Wtf, I'm missing two new movies?! Now this schedule is officially insane. You can't even physically watch both of the new movies that are playing right now at the same time. You have to buy multiple TVs like those guys who get real serious about football.

DrForester · Nov 4, 2018

Going through IMDB to see if I recognize anyone...

The guy in the Father Christmas movies was Mothman in Watchement.

compo said:
Wtf, I missed a new movie?! This schedule is a gauntlet.

Wtf, I'm missing two new movies?! Now this schedule is officially insane. You can't even physically watch both of the new movies that are playing right now at the same time. You have to buy multiple TVs like those guys who get real serious about football.

Nah, just the one. Other new movie was yesterday.

5-Day new movie gauntlet Thanksgiving week though.

Deleted member 11985 · Nov 4, 2018

DrForester said:
Nah, just the one. Other new movie was yesterday.

5-Day new movie gauntlet Thanksgiving week though.

Look again at the schedule. There's a new movie called "Road to Christmas" on the regular Hallmark channel right now. It started at 8. I think you're missing it too lol.

Slayven · Nov 4, 2018

Say Branden Routh in one of the movies today, felt a little sad for him

DrForester · Nov 4, 2018

This is the reason why I love these movies

:Girl meets mysterious old man in a quiet diner:

old man: "Can we go somewhere more private?"

Cut To them talking outside the diner.

compo said:
Look again at the schedule. There's a new movie called "Road to Christmas" on the regular Hallmark channel right now. It started at 8. I think you're missing it too lol.

Ahh, I figured it out. This one is on Hallmark Movies and Mystery, and they don't list those on the big schedule.

That is pretty stupid....

Well, I'm sure they'll show Road to Christmas 100 more times before Christmas.

Slayven · Nov 4, 2018

Most of these movies are made in canada, I asume there are cameras on the street 24/7 the way they shit these and lifetime movies out

DrForester said:
The most epic Christmas Trilogy* in Hallmark History is about to come to an end.

*It's the only trilogy in the Hallmark filmography.

Bootleg Ryan Goslin/Ryan Reynolds

DrForester · Nov 4, 2018

OK, the melody on this "Marry Father Christmas" that they keep playing as the background music sounds like the first few bars of the How to Train Your Dragon theme, and it's bugging the hell out of me.

Autumn · Nov 5, 2018

I actually enjoyed Christmas at Pemberley, considering Jessica Lowndes is on my lower tier of Hallmark actresses. Christmas Joy was fun, 2/2 so far.

I think I've seen about 80% of all Hallmark movies released in the past 3 years but they all blend in so I end up watching them multiple times.

Currently watching Dashing Through the Snow, which I somehow missed.

Is there a list somewhere organized by year/date? Might make it easier to keep track of what I watched?

Edit: NVM, an easy search answers my question.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Hallmark_Channel_Original_Movies

Penguin · Nov 5, 2018

In the spirit of this thread, I have conn...vinced my friend to watch Hallmark Christmas movies on our Friday night tradition.

So questions for the thread

1)What are like 4-6 of the really "bad" or generic ones
2)What are some good drinking rules for these movies.
3)Are they easily accessible anywhere

Hallmark Channel's Countdown To Christmas |OT| - Assembly Line Holiday Cheer

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