My early 20s were really bad, can it get better ?

where do you live op?Theres lots of people in the world. Lots of relationships to be made.....just don't be the type of person who stays home all the time and expect things to change. There are lots of apps that can show you people nearby with similar interest.

Enjoyed my late 20s in a very different way from how I enjoyed my early 20s. The big change I think was seeing a therapist. It helped give me more choice in how I wanted to react to the world.

I know quite a few people who found themselves more in their 30s. It's never too late, and you've never missed the boat, it's always there.

It's all relative, man. Have you been screened for depression or associated mental health disorders? What about autism-type spectrum disorders? You need to change you, dude.

It certainly can get better, but usually it doesn't come for free.

Try seeing a therapist, thats a great first step!

Time is a bullshit measurement. You live your life.

31 year old here. My life was awful in my early 20's like you wouldn't believe.
From drug abuse to homelessness. Don't want to go too deep into details. But I was given a life line and forced myself out of it. I got on anti depressants and after a few months things seemed less awful.
That was my first step. It enabled me to live normally, and get out of this mental routine of just terrible negativity, I had trained my brain to be a total cunt.

It took work and time, and pushing myself. But now I'm happy, haven't been on antis for 8 years. I have the odd bad day. But it will never be that bad, ever again.. I have managed to craft a career in design and have worked with some of the biggest companies on the planet with no education or formal qualifications. Live in Asia and this all happened because I forced myself to change. Don't wallow in self pity, nobody is living your life but you.

Yes. When i was 25 i had absolute zero life. Going from bad job to bad job with long periods of unemployment between them.

I had some money saved and chose to go back to college. I'm now one of the most promising students of my course, and i have great and loving friends.

Good luck OP.

Like someone else mentioned i;ve found things don't just "get better" on their own you need to put in a lot of hard work on mental health, physical health, and trying to work towards the future you want. The whole "how you spend your day is how you spend your life" sounds cheesy but is true.

Just keep yourself busy. Get a job, get some video games, and get into a routine. Go to work. Come home and play video games until bedtime. You'll be surprised how satisfied and happy you are.

I did not enjoy my early 20s a lot. It was a time with a lot of studying far away from family and friends, and included a lot of loneliness with that.

After I turned 25 I finished my studies and got a full-time job. Never been happier. Colleagues you can trust, everyone working towards the same goals, set hours to get in and leave - it's bliss.

It can always get better. Early 20s was a lonely time for me. Started earning with 25, finding love, and doing my hobbies. I'm 30 next year and happy.

Definitely, but you need to be the change that your life needs. If you see yourself as a victim of circumstance, you'll fail to see the opportunities that are right in front of you.

Focus on getting that job, it will open up your horizons immensely. What have you been doing so far? School?

The second half of my 20s and my early 30s have been light-years better than my early 20s.

Early 20s: left the big city to go to school in a small town despite not really wanting to. Cue depression, binge-drinking, being a generally toxic little shit and not having my best friends around to keep me grounded.

Dropped out, came home, took a year to get my head on straight(ish), went to university in the big city, met a girl, ditched toxic friends, reconnected with old friends, made new friends, got a job that wasn't the original plan but which is good anyway, got an apartment, got married.

Life's not perfect, but I'm so much happier than I used to be.

Hang in there.

OP, you said you tried to change therapists, but it didn't work out. In what way? You never ended up with another therapist?

Because my life also kind of sucked. Went to a therapist who didn't really know what he was doing, did some sort of half assed CBT, and told me I might have some form of autism. My life didn't improve much, so I went to see another therapist, who was equally horrible. She officially diagnosed me with autism, level one. Which felt wrong for me somehow, and I tried to explain it to her. There's nothing wrong with being autistic, but for me it just didn't seem to fit. I looked for another therapist, ended up with a psychoanalytic therapist and she's great. And as it turns out, I'm not autistic.

Unfortunately she had to stop therapy because of her pregnancy, but I've had two sessions a week with her for five months and a lot of stuff became clear and things are getting much better. I have a new therapist now, and though she's...different from the one before, she's also really helpful.

If you don't mind me asking, how do you like your current therapist? What sort of therapy are you in? Do you see any improvement at all? Why did you want to switch, and why didn't it work out?

Because I'd have been kind of fucked if I wouldn't have found my current therapist. Unfortunately not every therapist is equally helpful.

And to answer you question; it's absolutely possible to change your life for the better. It just sucks and it's completely unfair that it's extra hard for some people. I feel for you man.

Yes. It takes work, time and effort to get there though. It's not something that magically happens on a certain birthday.

My happiness comes from personal connection with friends and family and love. If those things are important to you, you need to work for those to become reality. Wishing for those things to come (if they are important to you) instead of seeking them out will make you more unhappy and you'll likely try to fill the void with things that just make it worse. Moving or working a new job can help but you have to put forth the effort to make yourself someone that people want to be around and share experiences with.

I still work on my mental health, physical health and empathy every day so that I can maintain the relationships in my life that I care about. It's an ongoing thing for the rest of your life.

OP, stay strong, or start today with being strong and continuing that attitude.

Some Insight. My early 20's were awful. I quit college, became depressed, was doing nothing with my life. Stopped working and stayed at home and did nothing with my life for about 6 months. Wasn't paying rent wasn't communicating with anyone and it was a dark place. That's where it started and continued from there. Finally found a job and then another job and another job and wasn't happy. You know how this story goes as you feel trapped in it.

It will only get better as these other members have stated with you. I never realized that at first either.

Although it seems really bad now like it will never get better, thats step one right there. Start finding anyway possible to just think positive, even though it seems an eternity away and will never get here, it will. But you have to start thinking and believing that. If only for a minute you can start to think and truly believe that. Those minutes turn into hours and then days. It's not a quick process but it takes the true ability and want to think, change, and feel that way.

That attitude will take you far and it starts there. I know it doesn't sound like much but it helps. Once you can do that the other tasks will seem minimal. Finding a job will become easier because it will no longer be sad or depressed. You may find something you actually like without even trying.

Sidenote: Things have gotten much better in my life. 27 now, married, career of 4 years, and back in school.

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

It can get way better. I went through my 20s learning to deal with anxiety and depression, never feeling secure or as if I was achieving anything.

In my 30s, the therapy I had has helped me a lot. I'm in a different career (teaching), living in a different city and have a great circle of friends in my gaming community.

I still face anxiety but I feel like I can deal with it. Did my first solo trip to Japan this year which I always thought would be impossible for me. Hang in there and don't be afraid to get help. Also, slow progress is still progress.

My 20s were quite terrible, 30s started a lot better. So just hang in there.

Gekkouga said:

So back when I was like 20 and starting going to college, I was believing that this new environnement can lead to a fresh start and letting behind me the bad memories of my teenage years. Well, plot twist, that wasn't the case at all. I'm now 25 and all I can think of these last years was loneliness, depression, anxiety, failure or sadness. To be honest, I even preferred my life in middle school when I was bullied. I can't even remember one moment where I was actually happy when everyone else around me always tells me that this is the best time of your life so I'm actually scared of what comes next (I will obviously need to get a job so that changes everything). I don't know if any of you guys lived through similar situations but I know there are a lot of people in their 30s here so I wonder if you could share your experiences and your opinion on this. Thanks for your help !

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My early 20's were miserable... your life is literally just starting... things will become more varied and interesting, and occasionally better yes.

Yes! It may take time, but it definitely can get better At your age, I was once again teetering on the brink of suicide, full of grief and loss and hopelessness. Now, 2 decades later, I'm the happiest I've ever been.

Find people you can trust to talk to. And remember, therapy isn't a bad word.

Monkeyball said:

My 20s were quite terrible, 30s started a lot better. So just hang in there.

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Same here. 20's were rough. I kept at it though and didn't give up. 30's have been much better. Just keep working towards what it is that you want out of life, OP. You'll get there if you keep at it!

It sounds like you just need to fix yourself through counseling, maybe meds if recommended and so on. Just hoping for a change of scenery or life event to make you suddenly happy rarely works, except for things like getting away from abusive situations. Good things happen in life and bad things happen in life. Being happy takes taking care of yourself and being able to enjoy the highs and ride out the lows.