How do you deal with assholes at work?

Dragnipur · Oct 9, 2018

There's a guy in a different department at work that I interact with occasionally, and everytime I do he's an utter asshole. He works closely with people I work closely with which means that I'll need to talk to him/get help sometimes, and when I do he will 100% of the time say "Oh, are you an (XXX Role) now? When did that happen?" in a really agressive tone and then bitch about whatever it is I'm asking about. I just ignore it right now, but that isn't really satisfying. How do y'all normally handle work assholes?

SugarNoodles · Oct 9, 2018

What do you need from him. Is it possible to confine it to email?

ElectricBlanketFire · Oct 9, 2018

I throw my garbage out in their garbage can.

CrankyJay · Oct 9, 2018

Call him out. Put him on the defense. "Why do you give me crap every time I come to you for assistance?"

Dragnipur · Oct 9, 2018

SugarNoodles said:
What do you need from him. Is it possible to confine it to email?

The last time someone he didnt like emailed him he cc'ed a bunch of tangentially related people in the company and told him off passive agressively..

Torpedo Vegas · Oct 9, 2018

Officer Big Mac · Oct 9, 2018

Ignore his distractions. Communicate by email if possible. And just ignore his attempts at distraction. You're not buddies so engage only on work related matters.

SugarNoodles · Oct 9, 2018

Start looking for another job. That being said, does him being passive aggressive through email and ccing a bunch of people does that really make anyone but him look bad?

CrankyJay said:
Call him out. Put him on the defense. "Why do you give me crap every time I come to you for assistance?"

Don't do this.

Darth Vapor · Oct 9, 2018

XXX Role?

Do you work in the porn industry?

Hydeus · Oct 9, 2018

Ignore or crush.

Coolduderedux · Oct 9, 2018

Email. If you have a halfway decent HR department, the paper trail will help you.

Dook's Revenge · Oct 9, 2018

Feed it back to him.

Dead Guy · Oct 9, 2018

CrankyJay said:
Call him out. Put him on the defense. "Why do you give me crap every time I come to you for assistance?"

I like this idea. Put him on the spot OP

Officer Big Mac · Oct 9, 2018

CrankyJay said:
Call him out. Put him on the defense. "Why do you give me crap every time I come to you for assistance?"

This will not be helpful.

Chrno · Oct 9, 2018

Hydeus said:
Ignore or crush.

this.

I have a history of getting assholes fired.

NinjaScooter · Oct 9, 2018

Say something about his mother.

Deleted member 38573 · Oct 9, 2018

SugarNoodles said:
Start looking for another job. That being said, does him being passive aggressive through email and ccing a bunch of people does that really make anyone but him look bad?

.

Exactly. Nobody likes "that" guy.

Dragnipur · Oct 9, 2018

Hydeus said:
Ignore or crush.

Crush?

Forsaken82 · Oct 9, 2018

Dragnipur said:
The last time someone he didnt like emailed him he cc'ed a bunch of tangentially related people in the company and told him off passive agressively..

Send him an E-mail with any relevant superiors attached to make sure he responds. If he responds passive aggressively, then the people who need to be aware are now in the loop.

PMS341 · Oct 9, 2018

Become a manager so you can say "Well, last week or so" next time he asks about your position.

Seriously though, just ignore his stupidity until it gets to the point where you can't handle it. Go to HR or inform a higher-up then.

Deleted member 12379 · Oct 9, 2018

Just ignore him completely and stick to just the facts when you need something from him. Literally just ignore everything he says other than what you need from him. Is this guy above you or something?

Don't listen to the other poster saying to call him out. That won't end well.

Mitch · Oct 9, 2018

Dragnipur said:
Crush?

Fall in love with him.

MazeHaze · Oct 9, 2018

I just ignore them. I work in a factory with 16 other guys, and only one of them is an insufferable chode. Snarky comments, passive agressive, dirty looks, talks shit behind your back. Guy is a grade A prick. But he has 20+ years seniority so I just pretend he doesn't exist rather than confront him (I could see him trying to get me fired, seems to get off on having power over people).

Raptomex · Oct 9, 2018

Talk to your boss about it and if nothing is done, do this...

CrankyJay said:
Call him out. Put him on the defense. "Why do you give me crap every time I come to you for assistance?"

Mammoth Jones · Oct 9, 2018

CrankyJay said:
Call him out. Put him on the defense. "Why do you give me crap every time I come to you for assistance?"

Talk to your boss privately about it.

Me personally? If dude is being a sarcastic asshole and it's via email where others are CC'd I'd talk to my boss about it and ask one question:

"Is this ok across the board? Cause if it is I'm going in. Hard." Then just slather on the sarcasm and vitriol. Rarely have I been out-douched at work.

Dragnipur said:
Crush?

Deleted member 8118 · Oct 9, 2018

I have a co-worker that is like that, but more sarcastic. One day I just flat out told him to shut the fuck up in front of other co-workers.

Low and behold he shut the fuck up.

I don't suggest you do that, but don't be afraid to step up and make your voice heard....

CrankyJay · Oct 9, 2018

Dead Guy said:
I like this idea. Put him on the spot OP

Teh Hamburglar said:
This will not be helpful.

Personally, I've dealt with guys like this. 9 times out of 10 they'll back down, but you gotta call them out on it.

Mivey · Oct 9, 2018

If poorly translated anime has taught me anything, then it's that you should ask him to do a Yugioh Duel Monsters match. Once he sees that you have the power of friendship, he'll either explode/dissolve (or otherwise be disposed of) or become your friend and join you as an annoying sidekick.

Meelow · Oct 9, 2018

I work with a passive aggressive girl that is just so rude, anytime she is rude to me I just make a comment back and she stops.

Just ignore him.

Force_XXI · Oct 9, 2018

Ignore him and move along?

Fuck em if they want to be pissy all the time

Br3wnor · Oct 9, 2018

Ignore unless he fucks w/ your job then find a way to handle it. If he's ultimately powerless and is just a prick to you there's no real reason to engage him, just get your work done and move on.

Vapelord · Oct 9, 2018

Depends, one job had a supervisor that was a shitbird. Went over his head and was left alone. Another job my boss's brother was the owner so just quit that place since there was no route to take there. Jobs are fairly easy here in Canada so I don't stick around in toxic environments.

Deleted member 39374 · Oct 9, 2018

CrankyJay said:
Call him out. Put him on the defense. "Why do you give me crap every time I come to you for assistance?"

This is terrible advice lol. It might result in an altercation in which asshole guy plays the victim and OP gets blamed for it.

CrankyJay · Oct 9, 2018

Polymerization said:
This is terrible advice lol. It might result in an altercation in which asshole guy plays the victim and OP gets blamed for it.

You can call a dude out without getting in trouble, lol

Deleted member 39374 · Oct 9, 2018

CrankyJay said:
You can call a dude out without getting in trouble, lol

If dude's being an asshole at work he probably has anger issues, and you don't want to be on the wrong side of that. Aside from the fact that calling someone out can easily be perceived as "starting a fight" from HR.

OP should speak with his boss/higher up in private and seek a solution from there. And keep screenshots/copies of every instance the guy was a dick.

CrankyJay · Oct 9, 2018

Polymerization said:
If dude's being an asshole at work he probably has anger issues, and you don't want to be on the wrong side of that. Aside from the fact that calling someone out can easily be perceived as "starting a fight" from HR.

OP should speak with his boss/higher up in private and seek a solution from there. And keep screenshots/copies of every instance the guy was a dick.

What universe am I in? lol

Deleted member 39374 · Oct 9, 2018

CrankyJay said:
What universe am I in? lol

Idk, but it seems like a universe where you've never worked in a corporate office

aisback · Oct 9, 2018

I appear to be not easy to approach and that helps

CrankyJay · Oct 9, 2018

Polymerization said:
Idk, but it seems like a universe where you've never worked in a corporate office

lol, you'd be dead wrong

Most adults expect each other to work stuff out before crying to management.

Minky · Oct 9, 2018

CrankyJay said:
Call him out. Put him on the defense. "Why do you give me crap every time I come to you for assistance?"

Yeah this, 100%. Perfectly reasonable to call somebody out for being a dick, especially at work.

Deleted member 39374 · Oct 9, 2018

CrankyJay said:
lol, you'd be dead wrong

Most adults expect each other to work stuff out before crying to management.

Really depends on the environment and type of person who's being the dick. Lots of people are adult-aged but don't act like adults.

liquidtmd · Oct 9, 2018

I record them.

I record 100% of my conversations with everybody.

julia crawford · Oct 9, 2018

Dragnipur said:
The last time someone he didnt like emailed him he cc'ed a bunch of tangentially related people in the company and told him off passive agressively..

This sounds like the best reason possible to constantly email him. Being an asshole on display is great self sabotage.

Deleted member 13506 · Oct 9, 2018

CrankyJay said:
Call him out. Put him on the defense. "Why do you give me crap every time I come to you for assistance?"

"Because it's not my responsibility to train you."

ody · Oct 9, 2018

Be mean girls

adamsappel · Oct 9, 2018

CrankyJay said:
Call him out. Put him on the defense. "Why do you give me crap every time I come to you for assistance?"

I wouldn't say it like this, but asking, "Why are you being rude to me?" usually makes someone have to justify their actions without making them angry and defensive.

CrankyJay · Oct 9, 2018

Polymerization said:
Really depends on the environment and type of person who's being the dick. Lots of people are adult-aged but don't act like adults.

I mean, I probably wouldn't use that exact phrasing in my initial response, but I'd definitely be like "Hey, did I do something to offend you at some point, because I'm noticing you're being sort of stand-offish and aggressive towards me every time I come to you for help"? This seems completely normal to me.

CrankyJay · Oct 9, 2018

adamsappel said:
I wouldn't say it like this, but asking, "Why are you being rude to me?" usually makes someone have to justify their actions without making them angry and defensive.

Agreed, see my post above...but you get my point.

Jeronimo · Oct 9, 2018

I'm not sure that the example provided makes him an asshole. Is this a sensitive subject that we're missing background on or what? What are the "power dynamics" in this situation--are you on roughly the same level but in different roles?

Generally, I'd say keep it strictly business and don't play along. You're just trying to do your job. Deal with him as little as possible and mostly via email for paper trail purposes. My answer may change with more information.

NameUser · Oct 9, 2018

Call him out. Just straight up say, "Do you have a problem with me?" Push back.

How do you deal with assholes at work?

What year is this?

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