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Don't Give Homeless People Money. Here's An Alternative.
- Thread starter Painguy
- Start date
If that's how you really feel, then don't give anything. I think you are making a lot of assumptions about people you don't know, but fine, you don't HAVE to give anyone anything.
That doesn't change the fact that refusing to give money but instead offering food is insulting. I'm not going to judge you for not giving money to a homeless person (maybe you can't afford to give the money out, I dont know your situation like I don't know the homeless person's) but I am going to judge you for looking at a person who needs help and saying "I know better than you do what you need". You aren't treating them as an equal human being at that point, and that's fucked up.
Give money. Yes, some will spend it stupidly on things you don't approve of, but no one can live on just food bought for them by others. They're going to need cash at some point or another. Don't act like you know what's best for this person you met seconds ago.
Also, purely selfishly, taking them to buy food is a much bigger time commitment, which is worth way more to me than a few bucks.
Also, purely selfishly, taking them to buy food is a much bigger time commitment, which is worth way more to me than a few bucks.
I offered food twice. Time one dude went into a Chinese restaurant and ran up a tab buying shit for his friends. Second time I bought a meal pack at Whole Foods and was told that doesn't loom yummy and got spat at. Pan handlers are typically those that need to be institutionalized. Families tend to try to make it work in shitty motels or their cars to shelter their kids away from the crazies.
My dad offered one man a job on the spot, said he'd give him money too that day and the guy said "fuck it I'm not working." On that same token I've given people money and they've been appreciative so it depends on the person. I just give them the small change and let that be it.
I just wish it were easier to tell who's really homeless and who's not. I saw one homie slide behind a Target building and hope in a new Sedan lol.
I just wish it were easier to tell who's really homeless and who's not. I saw one homie slide behind a Target building and hope in a new Sedan lol.
This whole 'only buy them food, if not fuck them' is awful. It's like the only thing humans need is food. Hell, sometimes even giving a bag of goods like toiletries, clothes, blankets, food, etc is harder on them because now they have to pack that shit back to a safe place to sleep and protect it from other people. Money is lightweight and can be used anywhere...if they buy drugs oh well they'll likely also buy other stuff they need. If everyone only gave food they'd have to eat what they could before it spoiled or carry a huge amount of weight everywhere. It doesn't make sense.
Or better yet, stop treating all homeless people like a monolith and making blanket statements about "them" and what "they" need.
In my experience it always comes down to the individual. Many absolutely welcome food from strangers, but plenty of others want a bus pass, some want cash, some just want socks. A lot of the women couldn't care less about food or money and just want feminine hygiene products.
if i really wanted to help homeless people while not giving them the money they desire to spend on lottery tickets, cigs, booze, or drugs i'd work in a shelter or soup kitchen. but i don't do that either ...
I mean, the suggestion to give them money accounts for all the examples you gave.
I usually offer a hotel room for the night. Fuck if I'm giving you money though. Been burned too many times on that. I'm not giving you $10 for cigs.
I've spend the last of my money on booze or smokes or drugs before. There are times when they will do more for you than a sandwich. Not that its a good thing but I'd rather just give money and let them do what they want with it. I do choose who I give money to and who I ignore though. I cant help everyone.
I started a small charity called The Black Wagons and when I roll up on the truly destitute with, cooked food, bottled water, fruit and Toilet paper they take it with open arms and gratitude. I can't speak to every place but Center City Philly has enough Homeless that I never come back home with any supplies.
God forbid a homeless person has to eat their food before it spoils.
Giving money to the homeless is a horrible fix. Yall can keep feeling holier than thou because you give cash instead of food but you're actively contributing to a massive problem, not helping fix it.
Donate your money to local charities and shelters.
The kind of people I'm talking about, and these are very specific people that I see on a regular basis and interact with, are so off their faces a lot of the time that no, they can't actually be trusted to take care of themselves. A lot of people here are talking about the hypothetical hence the talk of treating everyone like equals and don't judge or make assumptions. I'm saying way past the point of making assumptions, when you know a person's characters and habits after a sustained period of time and they never ever make a positive change in their lives no matter how much money other people give, then actually there are some lost causes. You can still try and help but it never gets anywhere and sometimes other innocent people suffer as a result of people trying to help said homeless person. Real people, actualities, not wishy washy hypotehticals.
True enough, but petty theft is a very common occurrence in homeless communities/shelters. I've offered cash in the past to those who didn't strictly ask for it and they've flat out declined. The instant it's made aware that they've got cash on them, they become targets for thievery, so they don't want to take the risk.
Obviously that doesn't happen every time, but no, cash isn't always the answer.
I used to volunteer at a homeless shelter in Bridgeport when I was younger. Too be honest as a kid is was kinda scary cause a lot of them were mean when I wouldn't give them more than the allotted amount of food. I was very young, but I did understand why. As an adult though I should probably see if I could do that again. I give money to homeless people a couple times a year when I see them. Not all the time though, I'm fully aware that the money probably won't be spent on the right stuff. Theres this guy in NY I saw a couple years in a row that had the same sign "Need money for food and pot" I always gave him some change.
You understand how most obtain these hygiene products right, and that maybe a woman would rather buy them herself rather than detail a specific list to a stranger.
Edit: Saw your prior response about theft. Haven't seen it myself but if they're worried about being a target for having cash that's understandable.
I was in NYC a few yrs ago and a homeless man was asking folks for money so he could buy lunch. Most ignored him and when he asked me for a few bucks for food, I offered to buy him lunch from a location of his choosing. He chose the nearby KFC and he ordered himself about $25 worth of food. I think he got 8 pieces of chicken, a few sides, and a drink. He chatted with me a for a bit, told me how he moved to NYC from Florida, lost his job and had been struggling for a while. He was very thankful.
This isn't surprising.
Honestly a lot of the comments in here sound a lot like "we should drug test people before giving them food stamps" which when it's actually been instituted has low results too I believe.
So someone getting 50 sandwiches because everyone gives food is better than getting 50 dollars because everyone gave them a dollar? Good thing it's easy to eat 50 sandwiches before they spoil when you dont have a fridge. Or shoes. Or transportation. Or shelter. Or tampons.
That last sentence. That is the only way. That and lobbying politically for more options, more funding, to try and help and get these people off the street. I always think surely there's more that can be done. People like police tend to just move the homeless on if they're causing a nusicance.. so they can cause a nuisance elsewhere. Shelters can only help if the person is off drugs, there's nowhere they can even try to get clean AND have shelter at the same time (this is horrible and needs fixed). There must be more that can be done, but giving a homeless person cash is very likely more often than not making the problem worse rather than helping ANYONE.
Food is the first thing people think of when donating because when someone is poor, the first thing usually thought or held on a cardboard sign is "I'm Hungry". Also, food joints are the most plentiful and easiest for someone to spend a bit of cash and buy lunch for someone.
Things like socks, fem hygiene, oral care, a bus pass and other important things make sense.
But when was the last time any homeless person asked for these items or had a sign saying to please spare bus tickets to get a homeless shelter? Never.
If you actually know the person that is different, because the situation we are discussing is the random homeless person on the corner you've never seen before asking you for money, which is something that happens to everyone.
Like I said, you dont have to give them anything. And if you, say, donate to local shelters and thus choose not to give money to individuals, there is nothing wrong with that. But there is something wrong with being patronizing and judgemental to a person you don't even know.
I had a guy come up to me at subway and asked me for money so he could eat. I told him no, but I would go in there with him and buy him whatever he wanted. He looked at me as if I was messing with him but I had him go in there with me. He was super happy and grateful.
While we are eating our sub he told me about how he ended up there - lost his job, his friends, and most of his family wouldn't talk to him because he was addicted to drugs. He wanted to go back home to Ohio but couldn't afford it. I gave him a couple of bucks to get the bus and told him to meet at greyhound the next day and I'd buy his ticket if he wanted it. I went back home and the next day I drove to Greyhound and he was there waiting for me. I bought him a ticket and gave him my number just in case. I didn't hear from him for like two years. All of a sudden I got a call from him and it took me a bit to recognize his voice since I had forgotten about it - turns out he met up with family, got into rehab, and ended up getting a job and was getting his life back together. He offered to reimburse me for the money I spent on him and I told him to just donate it to a homeless shelter. He thanked me and said that had I given him money he would've just spent it on drugs or alcohol. What he really needed was someone to listen to his story and have a little faith in him for another chance at life.
I've not heard from him since, but that's when I started to just donate money to shelters and giving food to the food bank. Unfortunately not all people will be like this guy, and the shelters would make that money go a long way at helping a lot more people.
While we are eating our sub he told me about how he ended up there - lost his job, his friends, and most of his family wouldn't talk to him because he was addicted to drugs. He wanted to go back home to Ohio but couldn't afford it. I gave him a couple of bucks to get the bus and told him to meet at greyhound the next day and I'd buy his ticket if he wanted it. I went back home and the next day I drove to Greyhound and he was there waiting for me. I bought him a ticket and gave him my number just in case. I didn't hear from him for like two years. All of a sudden I got a call from him and it took me a bit to recognize his voice since I had forgotten about it - turns out he met up with family, got into rehab, and ended up getting a job and was getting his life back together. He offered to reimburse me for the money I spent on him and I told him to just donate it to a homeless shelter. He thanked me and said that had I given him money he would've just spent it on drugs or alcohol. What he really needed was someone to listen to his story and have a little faith in him for another chance at life.
I've not heard from him since, but that's when I started to just donate money to shelters and giving food to the food bank. Unfortunately not all people will be like this guy, and the shelters would make that money go a long way at helping a lot more people.
No one is going to write "I need tampons" on a sign.
I have seen plenty of signs asking for bus fare though, and plenty of people have asked me specifically for bus fare.
And people who donate aren't mind readers. Nor are they spending 4 hours per day figuring out what to give.
People who donate are walking down the street and see someone on a sidewalk. In the 8 seconds they have before being beside them they are probably fiddling through their pockets if they have a buck on them or if they really are willing, will stop and spend a few minutes offering them food from probably closest food place within a 60 second walk.
So you got to understand, something like socks sounds reasonable. Who is carrying around new packs of socks of them? Nobody. And nobody is going to offer to take someone to Walmart and head to the Mens or Womens section to find socks. People may donate, but people will donate as little time as possible too. That's life. That's why you have lots of people signing a cheque to donate money to a charity, but likely offered zero volunteer time. And then it's back to their own lives.
You mentioned bus fare. Ok, maybe someone did for you. But most don't.
Most people will ask for money. Whether they use it wisely or spend it on smokes nobody knows. It's a simple case of homeless people wanting control of the money and the donater being the one who is holding the money. If the donater doesn't feel comfortable giving money to an uncertain usage of funds, that's their choice. And homeless people have to respect that regardless of whether the moral thing to do is to give or not give because the initial control of funds is in the donater's hands.
Yes, that's what I already said. You either give what they ask for or you don't give. The whole reason they are asking for money is because money is the most efficient way of fulfilling their needs, whatever they may be.
I give money. It's up to them what they spend it on and if it's booze or drugs, well who am I to judge? They need to take comfort in whatever they can given the life they lead.
Now I'm curious about the story of how you overcame homelessness. I've volunteered at the homeless shelters here during the holidays before and it was a great experience, but I'd be lying if I said I never blew off a homeless person after that though. But even with my experience being poor and volunteering... I was never actually truly homeless and never thought of things this way. Great post.
If you're thinking about giving someone money, then just do it. Stop being so concerned with what they spend it on. Once that money leaves your hand it belongs to them and they'll spend it on what they feel they need in that moment. If it happens to be drugs or alcohol, so be it
I don't give homeless anything anymore. Last time I tried to give a homeless person money he talked shit to me because he thought I wasn't giving him enough.
And what about places like my home town that charge an admission fee for homeless shelters?
How are they supposed to get to those things when they don't have the money to get in?
I truly do not understand the point of a shelter that charges an entrance fee, that is so fucked up.
And you wonder why most people won't give a homeless person even a quarter.
But you are right in a sense, most people don't care. The second we toss someone a quarter, we're back to our daily lives, our family, our job etc.... We got lives too.
However, despite this, some people will still donate money, time, or offer a McDonald's combo. You may want to spit in someone's face for offering you shitty compensation, but hate to say this, you are in no position to demand anything from anyone...... especially people who are willing to offer something to complete stranger who they will likely never see or talk to again. Whether you like it or not, you aren't going to get steak dinners or limo ride to the mall to buy bags of fancy clothes. That's life.
I've been swindled by a homeless person after given 'em $20 and I go next door to a fast food restaurant and see them busting out their latest iPhone and hopping in a car with who I presumed was friends. Made me more cynical with who is homeless and who is standing on the side of the street as a part-time job conning people. I know that's dumb logic because clearly the vast majority of homeless people you meet are probably homeless, but it's those that are not that just have me donate to causes that support homeless individuals.
My wife keeps hygiene kits and hands them out. Soap/hand sanitizer, wash cloth, toothpaste/brush, gloves, socks, that sort of thing.
No idea if that's appreciated or what response she gets, but her hearts in the right place for sure.
No idea if that's appreciated or what response she gets, but her hearts in the right place for sure.
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Yep.
I did once have a guy offer to tell me a riddle in exchange for lunch if I couldn't answer. Ended up paying for like $20 of McDonalds, but a deal's a deal.
