Pretty much. Immediately jumping into defense mode and missing the point entirely.
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What if men had a curfew? [hypothetical thought exercise, not literal]
- Thread starter Dan Thunder
- Start date
Pretty much. Immediately jumping into defense mode and missing the point entirely.
They aren't actually suggesting a curfew.
This is one of those threads I'm gonna want to point to whenever Era pats itself on the back for being progressive.
It's a hypothetical to raise awareness of certain issues. No need to get so defensive.
Quoted for truth.
Happened to my friends on vacay lol. They tried to check out a mall, and were denied entrance. Also a movie theater, park etc. pretty interesting.
I live in a nice, quaint suburban neighborhood half an hour from Atlanta where the demographics trend older and no one really bothers anyone.
I've had the wonderful experience of seeing a man in a hoodie and sunglasses peering through the woods at my house one day- literally in broad daylight- as me and my mother returned home with groceries, and had to whisper to her that someone was watching us.
I remember that fucker every night when I come home from closing shift. If men were all magically beholden to a 9PM curfew I could get into my house without the slightly nagging dread deep down that maybe I might become that next crazy ERA story.
I've had the wonderful experience of seeing a man in a hoodie and sunglasses peering through the woods at my house one day- literally in broad daylight- as me and my mother returned home with groceries, and had to whisper to her that someone was watching us.
I remember that fucker every night when I come home from closing shift. If men were all magically beholden to a 9PM curfew I could get into my house without the slightly nagging dread deep down that maybe I might become that next crazy ERA story.
I don't think women who are worried and take precautions to feel safer at night are doing it for no reason. While I'm sure some of that might be racially motivated if they were to avoid you on the street or things like that, a lot of places are seriously unsafe for women to walk around alone in, especially at night. Coming into a thread like this and talking about how you're glad that women feel unsafe when we can just take like 5 seconds to stop and look at statistics on the reasons why is pretty tasteless. Or you could look at the article and see where some women actually mention their fear of being kidnapped and raped specifically.
I just want to point out that the original article doesn't talk about inner cities and bad neighborhoods, just society in general. Also, anecdotally seeing women go out at night by themselves for a walk is missing the point too, because a lot of the article is about an internal mental state when they do go out on their own, which you generally aren't privy to.
I think this important to acknowledge. These fears are understandable but the unspoken part of these fears in many cases (which is borne out by many studies) is that this fear is amplified against PoC. There are lots of reasons for this (media sensationalizing crimes committed by black or hispanic people over white people, socio-economic divides and systems of oppression which make resorting to crime more likely for certain groups).
That isn't necessarily what this thought exercise is about, but it does come to mind. You can't divorce Americans, fear of crime from Americans' fear of minorities, they are too closely linked (and often one in the same).
That said, you shouldn't be happy people have that fear. It is damaging for them and damaging for you. And if we took race out of the equation (impossible, but so is this hypothetical) these women would likely still feel this way due to their own experiences or the experiences of other women they know. That shows our society has a significant problem. This fear doesn't come from nowhere.
Depends. Are they wearing blinking signs?
Also, with your avatars, you should have a 24 hour curfew!!!
I don't really like flying, particularly, in small planes. They're scary, I convince myself it's going to crash and I'm going to die every damn time... It's not entirely an irrational fear, planes do crash, but it's quite rare.
But nobody demands that all planes be grounded the moment one crashes killing 200 people... Because it's utterly ridiculous, much like this suggestion.
But nobody demands that all planes be grounded the moment one crashes killing 200 people... Because it's utterly ridiculous, much like this suggestion.
OP
OP
I think pretty much every man who walks home after a night out without worrying doesn't stroll back thinking "Man I am so lucky being able to do this with such a smaller chance of being assaulted than a woman".
And any man whose response to the comments these women post is basically "So, I get scared walking at night too!" is missing the point so far that they could get on a plane, fly half-way round the world and they still wouldn't be far enough away to see by how far they've missed it.
I don't think it's a bad thing. In this case it highlights how women feel and shows the extra precautions we have to take at night, which is eye opening for many.
Yup. It would have been better to say something alone the lines of, how women's experiences would be is predatory men weren't a concern. Or even the same title as the article, "Women explain how their lives would improve if men had curfews", because this would side more on the women's side of the story.
Back when I used to be out late in the city, as a male, I would make a conscious effort to like, cross to the other side, sit far apart as I can during empty public transit, or walk further head so that there was no fear or awkwardness about some random ass dude trailing behind you. I obviously know that I wouldn't do anything, but I get that these are actually problems and it's just something small that I can do to make someone's night a little less stressful.
The article says only cis-men would be affected in the hypothetical curfew.
"... women, nonbinary people, and gender nonconforming folks could go out and do as they pleased at night."
Well if rape is the only thing you're worried about that might work. However if you're also worried about getting mugged or assaulted then you're gonna be so disappointed.
I think it's pretty clear this is a thought exercise and no one is actually proposing the curfew. It's an empathy exercise, really.
I live somewhere with very high violence rates, and I was robbed like 4 times, but the time I was actually scared was when I was going home from the bus stop (it's about 50m away), around 9 pm. This old man asked for directions from the window of his car and I stopped to help - then he grabbed me by the wrist, saying a bunch of disgusting things and I had to scream for help (no one else on the street). Since then I won't do it without a chaperone.
Or the other time I had my house broken into while I was there alone. People saying "oh, you always can buy your stuff back if they succeded" but they don't realize that's not women are afraid of. Isn't about being robbed or attacked by someone on drugs. Is the fear of being victim of something that will ruin your life forever. If you don't end up dead afterwards.
I live somewhere with very high violence rates, and I was robbed like 4 times, but the time I was actually scared was when I was going home from the bus stop (it's about 50m away), around 9 pm. This old man asked for directions from the window of his car and I stopped to help - then he grabbed me by the wrist, saying a bunch of disgusting things and I had to scream for help (no one else on the street). Since then I won't do it without a chaperone.
Or the other time I had my house broken into while I was there alone. People saying "oh, you always can buy your stuff back if they succeded" but they don't realize that's not women are afraid of. Isn't about being robbed or attacked by someone on drugs. Is the fear of being victim of something that will ruin your life forever. If you don't end up dead afterwards.
I've gone out at like 11pm and just walked up to the corner store to get some drinks before and I really don't ever really think about it. I walk to work every morning at like 5:30am in near total darkness and never worry much. And its not lost on me that much of that is due to the fact that I'm both a dude and white.
Its also really funny if it wasn't so sad to see so many guys just predictably jumping into the fray here in defense mode.
Its also really funny if it wasn't so sad to see so many guys just predictably jumping into the fray here in defense mode.
Actual fear vs imagined fear. It's actually more likely for a woman to be assaulted by a member of the family than by a stranger . The opposite to en.
Can't speak on the Mongol Empire but the notion that Rome was a police state is ridiculous. This is from a Roman poet in 100 AD
OP
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The article could've been called "Men: Don't Be Creepy Cunts After Dark" and no-one would've batted an eye-lid.
Why are some people getting hung-up on the title? It's just a means to a larger conversation, just go with it. No fucker is actually asking for a curfew.
Why are some people getting hung-up on the title? It's just a means to a larger conversation, just go with it. No fucker is actually asking for a curfew.
It's only polarizing to the people who just read the title and don't read the tweets. It's pretty obvious to tell who is a minority and who isn't with comments like this.
Sounds like something I have to do as a black man everyday morning and night
Gotta say it sucks
I often reflect on how good I have it when I am walking around at night because I am a white man who is above average size. To ever feel afraid or unsafe in your neighborhood at any time of day is too often
I don't think you can separate the two. No-one is going to admit it publicly, but how many of the respondents would be thinking the exact same thing if the question was "What if Black men had a curfew?"
There's nothing ridiculous or clickbaity about the headline. The headline (which the OP should have used, imo) is 100% descriptive of what the article is about:
"Women explain how their lives would improve if men had curfews"
Its's amazing that ResetEra demands empathy for the selfish and bigoted Trump/Brexit supporter. But God forbid we even humor women with a hypothetical thought exercise so we can be empathetic towards them.
There is no such distinction. All fear is "imagined". You're probably talking about risk.
I definitely think about this sometimes - like when I go into the city at night and am walking around I try not to do anything to make women uncomfortable, especially if they're alone, like crossing to the other side of the street. But I definitely wasn't aware of the scope of it. My gf told me a little while ago that she sometimes worries about walking back to her car when leaving my apartment at night, which is something I never considered. I started walking with her back to her car.
So many people missing the point. It's not a realistic policy, and it's not something that would actually attempt to be implemented, so discussing the feasibility is an utter waste of time. That's not what it's about.
It's how the fear or caution women use at night because of men, and how they would do something different if they were sure in their security. As a guy, I'll walk outside at 3AM in shorts and sandles to the supermarket without a care. My sisters would never, or make me go with them. That's the point. How most men don't realise how reality is for one half of the population
It's how the fear or caution women use at night because of men, and how they would do something different if they were sure in their security. As a guy, I'll walk outside at 3AM in shorts and sandles to the supermarket without a care. My sisters would never, or make me go with them. That's the point. How most men don't realise how reality is for one half of the population
You're assuming I'm not a minority? You'd be wrong.
I'm tired of clickbait articles, which this is. I actually did read the tweets and understand what they're trying to say, but it's pretty damn stupid how they actually go about it, surrounding the content with hyperbole.
I guess I too am guilty of reading the thread title, and not the headline. I did read the article though.
Man, I can think of a hundred ways my life would be way better if inconveniencing and oppressing millions of people was an option.
Well, fear can be justified us what I wanted to say. But risk would have been the better term, yes.
It's an unjust hypothetical that wouldn't happen in this version of America. Too much discrimination. In that hypothetical world, how would night/overnight jobs work? Would men have to get passes to go around at night? Stupid hypothetical all around in my opinion.
Good thing nobody's actually demanding that and it's just a hypothetical then, a though exercise designed to provoke empathy and that's all.
I'm actually not a fan of "thought exercises" like this. They tend to generate not much of value, mostly outrage, finger pointing and bans. I get somehow what the twitter thread aims at, but looking at all available statistics, most violence against women (and children of all genders) comes from close acquaintances, not random strangers in a city at night.
So yeah, some people in some cities might feel better in some situations, but it won't prevent the vast majority of incidents.
I'm speaking of German numbers here btw, maybe it's different in the US, but well. This IS an international board.
So yeah, some people in some cities might feel better in some situations, but it won't prevent the vast majority of incidents.
I'm speaking of German numbers here btw, maybe it's different in the US, but well. This IS an international board.
I've been assaulted by a drunk women dressed as a pirate with a wooden sword before late at night once.
Not even joking.
I get that women don't like being harassed and are afraid of being harassed or worse, but do they think men don't think about that shit either? The main difference is I don't want to get stabbed for money I don't have or have my phone stolen because they know I have it in my pocket. Does anyone in this thread think I can take a walk around my neighbourhood at night as a man? There's definitely some deeper point I'm missing. I know this isn't for me or about me, but could someone please explain it to me because I'm clearly not getting it?
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You're not, believe it or not you're more likely to be attacked as a guy. But that's probably because women are more likely to avoid any scenario where they are at risk of being attacked, whereas men probably think they're safer just because.
Resetera is a website comprised of many people from many different backgrounds who share relatively similar values. We are not one person call out those people who do this so the mods can handle them.
The people I'm worried about when walking at night are homeless. Them going back to their tents that are next to the sidewalk would not make me feel better.
Pirate curfew needed?
This funny, provided you were seriously injured.
