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UraMallas

Member
Nov 1, 2017
19,394
United States
I'm 35 and childless and loooooving life. People tell me about their weekends filled with hauling kids around to do shit and I never get tired of hearing about how exhausting it all is. Me, I just chill in peace and quiet all weekend and go out and about exactly when I feel like it. I'm free and content and above all else happy. People still tell me that I'll get an itch to have a child but never once in my life did I think it would be a good thing for me, personally. I'll live my life and not someone else's.

EDIT: Also, I am coming to believe it is morally wrong to have a kid in this world. I know that is going to be controversial, but I honestly think we're fucked from a climate perspective and, within 100 years, any kids being born now will be suffering big time.
 

Darknight

"I'd buy that for a dollar!"
Member
Oct 25, 2017
22,980
I'm 35 and childless and loooooving life. People tell me about their weekends filled with hauling kids around to do shit and I never get tired of hearing about how exhausting it all is. Me, I just chill in peace and quiet all weekend and go out and about exactly when I feel like it. I'm free and content and above all else happy. People still tell me that I'll get an itch to have a child but never once in my life did I think it would be a good thing for me, personally. I'll live my life and not someone else's.

EDIT: Also, I am coming to believe it is morally wrong to have a kid in this world. I know that is going to be controversial, but I honestly think we're fucked from a climate perspective and, within 100 years, any kids being born now will be suffering big time.
Just because something is exhausting doesn't mean it's bad or that nothing positive is gained from doing it.
 

Deleted member 4413

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,238
Please take into consideration you will force that child to live through the worst effects of climate change, a world that is dying, an economy that is more and more fucked and a number of other fun things. Dont have a child just for your own selfish reasons.


Not having a child isnt selfish, its the moral thing to do. Having children is usually done for selfish reasons though.

Didn't even get one page before we got to the doom and "it's amoral to have children in 2018" argument.

Look, not everybody wants to have kids. That's cool, you do you. The above types of posts should be a bannable offense. It's incredibly poorly thought out and only serves a purpose to make parents feel like their children are a mistake.
 

ViewtifulJC

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
21,020
Didn't even get one page before we got to the doom and "it's amoral to have children in 2018" argument.

Look, not everybody wants to have kids. That's cool, you do you. The above types of posts should be a bannable offense. It's incredibly poorly thought out and only serves a purpose to make parents feel like their children are a mistake.
It always seems to come from privileged white dudes. Like, when was the world such a great place to bring a black child here? Any black kid born off the past couple centuries had to deal with instituted racism, segregated schools, poor education and employment opportunities, racial profiling, bigots, slavery, apartheid, hated just because of your skin color, etc, etc...but we kept living our lives and making the best of it anyway. The one problem the white man can't be on top of the food chain about(climate change), well its time to shut the production factory down! The world isn't perfect after all!
 
Oct 27, 2017
45,544
Seattle
It always seems to come from privileged white dudes. Like, when was the world such a great place to bring a black child here? Any black kid born off the past couple centuries had to deal with instituted racism, segregated schools, poor education and employment opportunities, racial profiling, bigots, slavery, apartheid, hated just because of your skin color, etc, etc...but we kept living our lives and making the best of it anyway. The one problem the white man can't be on top of the food chain about(climate change), well its time to shut the production factory down! The world isn't perfect after all!


Pretty much all of this, the world is a much better placethan it was in the past
 
Oct 27, 2017
3,837
Should I post it? I'm going to post it.

If you don't have kids, you will be the VERY FIRST failure in your direct line to reproduce in over 2,000,000,000 years. Every single father / mother in your direct line to the beginning of life (all life) reproduced to get you here.

This is a fact. How you feel about the fact is up to you. I mean, there's probably no god, so it's not like you get a prize for reproducing when you die. I'm just saying. Billions of years of child birth, and you just don't want the inconvenience.

That said, people who don't have kids should get tax breaks.

to live is to suffer
 
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Deleted member 4346

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
8,976
If you're just going to do a simple cost: benefit analysis then yeah having children isn't going to ever make sense. They are expensive and they are time-consuming.

Do children improve one's quality of life? I don't know. First you'd have to define what that phrase even means. Does it mean what makes us happy? Being a parent makes me happy. More than superficial things like traveling, self-improvement, consuming food or media or whatever.

I think that's makes kids "worth it"- being a parent is meaningful. It isn't easy but, unless you make some major scientific/medical breakthrough, or effect political/societal change in a big way, having children is the greatest achievement that the average person can have. That's your legacy. Other experiences are great but they are fleeting. I have four biological children and a stepdaughter who I have raised since she was two. That's what I will leave behind to the world once I am gone. I can't put a price on that, monetary, quality of life, whatever.
 

Netherscourge

Member
Oct 25, 2017
19,032
Having a kid isn't about improving your life.

If that's the mentality you have, you shouldn't have kids. Ever.
 
Oct 26, 2017
5,435
I'm 35 and childless and loooooving life. People tell me about their weekends filled with hauling kids around to do shit and I never get tired of hearing about how exhausting it all is. Me, I just chill in peace and quiet all weekend and go out and about exactly when I feel like it. I'm free and content and above all else happy. People still tell me that I'll get an itch to have a child but never once in my life did I think it would be a good thing for me, personally. I'll live my life and not someone else's.

EDIT: Also, I am coming to believe it is morally wrong to have a kid in this world. I know that is going to be controversial, but I honestly think we're fucked from a climate perspective and, within 100 years, any kids being born now will be suffering big time.

Yes , happiness is relative. Although, Happiness and exhaustion are not mutually exclusive. Happiness is an attitude and not a series of circumstances. You are no more happier than the people in your life that are tired.
 

Sub Boss

Banned
Nov 14, 2017
13,441
Yeah no, maybe don't make a blanket statement of that.

"My kid is just me but smaller" is a sentiment that's ruined more lives than Polio. If your kid happens to turn out very much like you that's fine, but it's not inherent, it's not better or worse than the alternative, and it's not a particularly good idea to try and force it.
Yeah i don't get it either, children aren't small version of their parents, thats toxic, they are themselves while you are you, the best we can hope for is raising children as their best selves
 

Huey

Member
Oct 27, 2017
13,333
They're amazing - watching them grow and develop into little humans is incredible. They greatly improve some elements of your life and change/deteriorate others, and that's coming from someone who very much enjoyed going out, having drinks, having my freedom (which we still do regularly and I still have). I think it's similar to asking why would anyone ever want to fall in love or be in a relationship with someone - you give up some things, but you gain so much as well.

For my part the balance is certainly in favour of improvement, and that's similar speaking to my friends who have had kids. When it's good, it's so good and there is nothing else like it in the human experience (and it's all the better when you're doing it alongside someone you love). I would be enormously sad to miss out on that in my one turn at the universe, but I certainly wouldn't advocate that for everyone.
 
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mogster7777

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,994
I personally never want kids. It's something that never has or will ever appeal to me. 39 now. Your life would change and responsibilities would be all about the child. You aren't on this planet for long but I don't want to spend most of that time giving it all to the child to enjoy instead. I don't want a life like that. I don't want journeys to the school each morning, journeys to swimming classes, resolving peer pressure, teen angst etc etc all that stuff coming with having a child. It might be selfish but it's too much effort and time consuming and not fulfilling in the slightest imo.

I want to be fit, healthy and enjoy life on my own terms not come back tired from work and then feel like I have work again at home with the kid and then not have enough time for myself for the gym, play games, me time.... and then when you're older you realise you have a dad bod just because little Jimmy wanted a McDonald's and it's too much work and time to cook or do something healthy so you give in because kids are narrow minded and just want to eat crap just because their friends are or they saw it on TV. society is influencing them constantly and you realise you have little control when outside and external factors have more influence on them than their own parents. I never want kids but even moreso in this world and day and age.

Life isn't about leaving a legacy behind or bringing up your offsprings and leaving a mark so people will remember you more at your funeral and respect you. That's just how society, government, media, culture and families think. It's an uphill battle for people who don't want kids as there's a stigma attached to it unfortunately.

Enjoy life the way you want, do the things you want that make you happy. Humans are just evolved to procreate and society and media revolves around it to make you think it's the only "normal" way to live. Not everyone wants that life for various reasons. Having got a cat four years ago was perfect for me and partner. Hassle and baggage free, relaxing and calming and adorable. I don't have to take her to swimming lessons, or her stroppy tantrums slamming doors, or crying to change her nappy.

Enjoy life however you want as long as it doesn't harm others.
 
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lobdale

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,004
Lol at the idea that having a kid has anything to do with "improving your quality of life" insomuch as QOL is related solely to free time and extra cash.
 

UraMallas

Member
Nov 1, 2017
19,394
United States
Yes , happiness is relative. Although, Happiness and exhaustion are not mutually exclusive. Happiness is an attitude and not a series of circumstances. You are no more happier than the people in your life that are tired.

Again, I didn't say that.

I'm happier than most people in my life simply because I'm a happy person, not exclusively because I don't have kids. Plenty of people without kids are not happy. Someone I spent a lot of time with last weekend is childless and they are definitely not happy. I was saying that for me personally, having kids would make me less happy. I'm selfish and I value my time as my own above most other things. My life would not change for the better with kids. I would personally be less happy.
 
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Hokahey

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
2,288
Nothing makes me happier than my kids. I took my 10 year old to a Cardinals game last night and helped him get a baseball. He now has a football from the Chiefs, puck from the Blues, and baseball from the Cardinals. He is THRILLED, and it filled me with more joy than someone without a child could possibly understand. Making my children smile and teaching them how to better the world by being amazing people is fulfilling beyond words.

So yes, my life is exponentially more fulfilling because of my boys. If that's not an improved quality of life I don't know what is.
 

Awesome Wells

Member
Dec 3, 2017
218
I couldn't possibly envision how devoting a significant portion of my life to raising children would be any sort of improvement over having fun, traveling, gaming, partying, dating etc.

Hey OP- this point has probably already been made but it's Father's Day today and I'm busy and don't have time to read the whole thread.

I'm a father of two daughters, 8 and 10 years old, and I do ALL of those things. Some less regularly than I used to, but I still find time for all them.

it's not a zero-sum game. Family life, just like non-family life, is all about balance. Which is potentially the biggest point you are missing here.

Anyway, happy Father's Day to ERA Dads.
 
Oct 25, 2017
102
Minneapolis
I have 4 kids. I'm not saying I regret it, but it's fucking hard.

My wife is working overnight right now. I just put down 3 and I'm feeding the 7 month old right now. I'm tired. My back hurts. But they provide me with love and meaning to life that you don't get without being a parent.

I have moments of jealousy of the childless but I'm happy with where I'm at.
 

UraMallas

Member
Nov 1, 2017
19,394
United States
I've had multiple friends confide in me that they regret having kids. I've had even more say they wished they had stopped earlier. A co-worker of mine told me last week that she wished she would have had her youngest earlier because the oldest ones are almost out of HS but the youngest is still like 12 and has 6 years at least of strong dependency.

Anecdotal, but I would imagine I would definitely be one who would regret it.
 

Heid

Member
Jan 7, 2018
1,815
It may not improve your life but it will certainly give it meaning. A meaning you can't even begin to comprehend.

Having children is the purpose for which you are designed.

OP, you're gonna have kids even if I have to put those babies in your butt myself- babies come out the butt right
 

pestul

Member
Oct 25, 2017
693
38 and wife is 37 and we were thinking about kids almost 9yrs ago and decided not to have them. We know we'd make good parents but we just decided not to. I enjoy living and it still feels completely fulfilling.

Our neighbors that have a couple of kids and are completely jealous and constantly tell us to never have kids and to enjoy our lives. They're still great parents and love their kids, but they do highlight the constant struggle.
 

Not

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,596
US
I'm sorry but this is nonsense.

In my case my then-gf and I took every precaution; we used condoms and she was on birth control. She got pregnant anyway. I never had any intention, at 27, of becoming a father. At the time I was quite certain I never wanted kids. I was content helping her raise the ones she already had. 11 1/2 years later I very much am happy to be a father, but still....

Silly generalizations don't aid your argument; they hurt it.
You're an outlier, man. Your anecdote doesn't make the overwhelmingly common causes of recreational actions "nonsense."

Anyway, came back in the thread because I thought this comic was appropriate :P

20161216_dads.png
 

sherpajosh

Member
Nov 5, 2017
66
No shame OP. You do you. That's what it comes down to ultimately. Having a kid means less doing you and more doing someone other than you. Ditto a spouse/partner. It's hard sometimes to balance doing you and others. Some folks want to do others, some folks don't. Nothing wrong with that.

How much you do you want to do?
 

Nostremitus

Member
Nov 15, 2017
7,782
Alabama
Honestly, if you feel that way OP, you probably shouldn't have kids. It's not for everyone.

I enjoy being a dad more than I enjoyed doing some of the things that became much less important to me as a parent.

If you can't wrap your head around how putting others needs above your own and getting fulfillment from that because you love them, then you shouldn't be a parent. That's not a dig against you, it just takes a certain type of person to be a good parent that doesn't just phone it in. Kids deserve better.
 

ghostmind

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,448
It's the best thing I've ever done in my life.

But it's not for everyone.

I'm sorry you don't understand.
 

big bas

The Fallen
Jan 2, 2018
502
I really don't understand the argument that having a kid or kids is "contributing to the destruction of the planet," as if these hypothetical kids can't grow up into humans that contribute to the saving of the world, whether environmentally, socially, etc. It seems like there's a lot of feelings here that imply more people = more destruction in the world, when there is a good chance that (if raised properly) they can create solutions instead.

And to those worried about bringing a human into the world that might suffer - that's part of the human experience, and lessons are learned from suffering that can be used to help the rest of the world and future population.
 

HanSoloCup

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,638
Richmond, VA
I am 34 and have 3 daughters (7,4,1). They are everything to me. I spend most of my freetime with them, not because I have to, but because I want to. When I've had a terrible day at work, come home, and they are waiting on the front steps for me, instant smile on my face. They bring me so much happiness.

That said, I still make time for all of my hobbies. I still go on multiple photo trips per year. I still go rock climbing, snowboarding, and camping. I still play a lot of video games. The difference is that sometimes I have to do them with the kids. But I love to teach, and they love to learn. Being a father gives me greater fulfillment than anything I could ever do elsewhere.

But I get it, some people do not see the appeal; and some people have no interest. Just like I don't see the appeal of pets. At all. I would never want one. And that's 100% okay. But, for me, I love my kids more than anything else in the world.
 
Oct 26, 2017
5,435
Again, I didn't say that.

I'm happier than most people in my life simply because I'm a happy person, not exclusively because I don't have kids. Plenty of people without kids are not happy. Someone I spent a lot of time with last weekend is childless and they are definitely not happy. I was saying that for me personally, having kids would make me less happy. I'm selfish and I value my time as my own above most other things. My life would not change for the better with kids. I would personally be less happy.

Very fair, didn't mean to sound like I was coming down on you though after rereadinng my last sentence , that is what came across.

I have three kids and envy you. Keep up the good work!
 

jrDev

Banned
Mar 2, 2018
1,528
It's still so surreal for me having an almost 4 month old. I gotta tell you though, the moment I smiled at my little princess and then she smiled back for the first time makes life worth it. It's an unreal feeling!
 

Typhon

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,161
I really don't understand the argument that having a kid or kids is "contributing to the destruction of the planet," as if these hypothetical kids can't grow up into humans that contribute to the saving of the world, whether environmentally, socially, etc. It seems like there's a lot of feelings here that imply more people = more destruction in the world, when there is a good chance that (if raised properly) they can create solutions instead.

And to those worried about bringing a human into the world that might suffer - that's part of the human experience, and lessons are learned from suffering that can be used to help the rest of the world and future population.

themosteffec.jpg
 

big bas

The Fallen
Jan 2, 2018
502
This study misses the point of low and moderate-impact lifestyle changes - they are easier to swallow for the average citizen and therefore much easier to sell and incorporate widely, which ends up making a big difference. It's easy to say that their "recommended steps" of driving less, flying less, and existing less will have larger impacts (that's obvious) but it's not as helpful or realistic to adopt worldwide right now - how easy is it for the majority of the world's population to really live car free for example? It also doesn't factor in imminent technological changes as well as policy incentives that drive the incorporation of these technologies (which was a purposeful choice I think as I read over it, though I'm not sure why they chose to avoid the topic of tech).

EDIT: Also on the topic of having a child be inherently selfish, how is life in general not selfish and amoral then by that definition? All life takes resources from one place or another and most forms of life don't seem to care much what is destroyed in the process. At least humans have the capacity to be conscious of preserving other forms of life during their existence.
 

The Orz

Member
Dec 5, 2017
220
The "moral" arguments, specifically the ones around climate change, slay me. Just say kids aren't for you. You don't need to dive into these silly, incel-level beliefs and excuses. I mean, by that logic how are we going to improve the world without future generations? Oh, the conspiracy!

Personally, I feel that I have grown as a person through my experience as a parent. I've learned about myself--good things and bad things--and gained a perspective I didn't even know existed.
 

Typhon

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,161
The "moral" arguments, specifically the ones around climate change, slay me. Just say kids aren't for you. You don't need to dive into these silly, incel-level beliefs and excuses. I mean, by that logic how are we going to improve the world without future generations? Oh, the conspiracy!

Personally, I feel that I have grown as a person through my experience as a parent. I've learned about myself--good things and bad things--and gained a perspective I didn't even know existed.

"incel level beliefs"? Let's cut out the hyperbole. As for kids not being for me, how about parents stop telling me I'm going to change my mind? Or that I'll never understand? Or that I'll die alone? And the goal isn't to eliminate future generation, just to have some form of population control instead of breeding like rabbits.
 

Skelepuzzle

Member
Apr 17, 2018
6,119
I feel like I need to suggest a sticky regarding how my kid (and others) will pay for your social programs as you get older. It's kind of sad to see how hard some folks' misanthropy leads them to not understand how our youth will sustain them in the future.

It's so much easier to be smug and pretend like you don't benefit from the continutation of society though.

Edit: Also as previously stated, it is fine to not have kids. You'll help pay for my kid's public school. This is meant to be a cycle.
 

VoxPop

Member
Oct 30, 2017
1,688
Hey OP- this point has probably already been made but it's Father's Day today and I'm busy and don't have time to read the whole thread.

I'm a father of two daughters, 8 and 10 years old, and I do ALL of those things. Some less regularly than I used to, but I still find time for all them.

it's not a zero-sum game. Family life, just like non-family life, is all about balance. Which is potentially the biggest point you are missing here.

Anyway, happy Father's Day to ERA Dads.

Your post got me very confused and anxious thinking I missed Father's day lol.

I get the idea of creating new life and the kind of joy it could bring someone. It definitely molds you into a different person and you get to experience something amazing.

That being said, I fucking hate kids and don't see that changing anytime soon. I can see the misery in people's faces when their little turds are being a huge brats. I'm sure there are some great kids and the good outweighs the bad but I can't see myself devoting 18-20'ish years of my life to it when I can do so much more with it. I'll just be the cool/weird uncle.
 
Was just thinking about this yesterday morning when everything was in full swing (a 2.5yr old, 9 month old, husband, and two cats). I had kids quite late compared to my parents - Mom was 17, I was 34 - because I was traveling, studying, working on my career, etc. so I came into this having met all the goals/dreams I'd set for my 'solo' life and ready for a new experience. Kids can be immensely satisfying. Teaching them, making them happy, watching them grow and develop... It's amazing stuff. And damn, they're funny. The two year old somehow dishes out the coldest retorts to her dad, the baby snorts when she laughs which makes her fart which makes her laugh. Every day has some new and entertaining weirdness. It's everything I hoped it would be so far. Your mileage may vary, but kids are the ultimate human experience, IMO.

But(!), if you don't want them, feel ready for them, etc., there's no need to have them. Do what works for you and what you want out of life. Easy.
 

Cwyll

Banned
Oct 29, 2017
165
There's plenty of people out there who are having more than enough kids still to cover for you.
Big global population proportion changes, but don't feel you need to 'pump something out' just for the sake of it.
Perhaps you've done your bit for the evolution of the species...
 

Kikujiro

Member
Oct 27, 2017
907
Only on a videogame forum you can find many people saying having kids is bad because it will kill the planet or because the world sucks (it doesn't by the way).

Some of you are nuts.
 

Muad'dib

Banned
Jun 7, 2018
1,253
I think people who live in first world countries who spout the line that it's morally wrong to bring kids into this world are incredibly selfish or deluded.

You have the chance to raise a child to better the world, with proper education and access to incredible technology, while it's people in third world countries who are raising children in abject poverty with almost no hope for the majority of them.

If I'm ever to have children, I'll raise them to better the world no matter how small.
 

finalflame

Product Management
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
8,538
Only on a videogame forum you can find many people saying having kids is bad because it will kill the planet or because the world sucks (it doesn't by the way).

Some of you are nuts.
Not at all. Young adults making the decision to remain childless is a growing phenomenon in the developed world, and I can assure you it has nothing whatsoever to do with video gaming forums. Some of us just don't want kids and speak plainly, without walking on eggshells, about the reality of population growth in our times. Standards of living will only continue to rise amongst developing/developed economies; there's no going back, and we aren't going to outrun population growth with environmental measures/technology according to all reasonable forecasts. I'm not saying people shouldn't have kids, but choosing not to have one is a perfectly understandable decision, and one that's often met with incredulity or hostility. It gets exhausting hearing about how magical parenting is and the condescension about how people who opt not to be parents "just don't understand". I do understand, I want no part of it. C'est fini.
 

Guerrilla

Member
Oct 28, 2017
2,237
Not at all. Young adults making the decision to remain childless is a growing phenomenon in the developed world, and I can assure you it has nothing whatsoever to do with video gaming forums. Some of us just don't want kids and speak plainly, without walking on eggshells, about the reality of population growth in our times. Standards of living will only continue to rise amongst developing/developed economies; there's no going back, and we aren't going to outrun population growth with environmental measures/technology according to all reasonable forecasts. I'm not saying people shouldn't have kids, but choosing not to have one is a perfectly understandable decision, and one that's often met with incredulity or hostility. It gets exhausting hearing about how magical parenting is and the condescension about how people who opt not to be parents "just don't understand". I do understand, I want no part of it. C'est fini.

Well that's all fun and dandy but population growth is the least of our Problems, its rather quite the opposite. Not having children is totally fine, and I agree that it's not for everyone, just don't try to justify it and pretend its a noble cause by pushing the overpopulation myth...



If I misinterpreted your point I'm sorry though :)
 

Bricktop

Attempted to circumvent ban with an alt account
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
2,847
Should I post it? I'm going to post it.

If you don't have kids, you will be the VERY FIRST failure in your direct line to reproduce in over 2,000,000,000 years. Every single father / mother in your direct line to the beginning of life (all life) reproduced to get you here.

This is a fact. How you feel about the fact is up to you. I mean, there's probably no god, so it's not like you get a prize for reproducing when you die. I'm just saying. Billions of years of child birth, and you just don't want the inconvenience.

That said, people who don't have kids should get tax breaks.

Is this a meme or something? If not, it's not true, if so...whatever.
 

MrKlaw

Member
Oct 25, 2017
33,266
Not at all. Young adults making the decision to remain childless is a growing phenomenon in the developed world, and I can assure you it has nothing whatsoever to do with video gaming forums. Some of us just don't want kids and speak plainly, without walking on eggshells, about the reality of population growth in our times. Standards of living will only continue to rise amongst developing/developed economies; there's no going back, and we aren't going to outrun population growth with environmental measures/technology according to all reasonable forecasts. I'm not saying people shouldn't have kids, but choosing not to have one is a perfectly understandable decision, and one that's often met with incredulity or hostility. It gets exhausting hearing about how magical parenting is and the condescension about how people who opt not to be parents "just don't understand". I do understand, I want no part of it. C'est fini.

Educated and developed countries have a low population growth, rapidly heading towards negative growth. You choosing not to have a child will do nothing to prevent overpopulation. If anything it will be a negative as an ageing population struggles to be supported by a shrinking younger population.
 

Funkallero

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,795
Tokyo
Didn't even get one page before we got to the doom and "it's amoral to have children in 2018" argument.

Look, not everybody wants to have kids. That's cool, you do you. The above types of posts should be a bannable offense. It's incredibly poorly thought out and only serves a purpose to make parents feel like their children are a mistake.

Thank you for this post.

I've always understood the casual reasons why people don't want to have kids, I even aknowledge that's a really difficult task not meant for everybody but when the discussion slips into "amoral" territory its feels uncomfortable as a parent.
 

borghe

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,112
Not having kids is a selfish modern human construct. Throughout the history of the planet biological organisms have multiplied for a variety of reasons. Species survival obviously. In most cases having a sustainable community means work being continued uninterrupted (whether constructing a place to live, creating or storing food, etc) It also means species resilience to things like disease, genetic deficiencies, being hunted for food (or for humans attacked for power)

Throughout millennia, by way of human invention, humans have reduced many of these necessities. Most recently through the industrial revolution (maybe even arguably through the computing revolution with computers and what we traditionally called robots), humans have almost eliminated the need for large numbers to contribute directly to our well being, health, safety, etc.

Centuries ago your "quality of life" was improved... because you had property that needed tending.. likely a farm.. or a store.. and the ability to hire someone virtually didn't exist.. because THEY had property that needed tending, so on and so forth.. kids were a way to, much likely my first paragraph, ensure that your immediate community (i.e. your family) could be sustainable.

Is it wrong to not want to have kids? Well first objectively speaking it is selfish. And that isn't said with a negative connotation. Biologically it is our role in the species to propagate, for all the reasons stated above. Beyond that it is out NATURAL INSTINCT to propagate. That is why almost all humans (organisms really) are drawn to sex. But in losing our value as individual contributors to our species.. many of us have filled our lives with other distractions, pleasures, etc. So yeah... kids would interrupt that.

But still, is it actually wrong? The philosophy behind it is highly subjective. Basically which side of the issue do you sit on. If you have kids, that seems only normal. If you don't have kids and enjoy your life, you can't see how having kids (and that changing) would be better.

Fortunately.. it will pretty much all work itself out. As cultures stagnate or decline in population, the culture recedes. Less people means less buying, less money flowing in, less free time being spent on things not directly contributing to the advancement of the species, your own personal well being, etc. And as this happens the thought on propagation shifts in the other direction. Whether through boredom, a lack of fulfillment, or really just good old biology kicking in and changing the perception of having kids from a positive to a negative..

We will probably never get to a time again where there isn't a sizable chunk of humanity who doesn't want kids. Modern life is relatively problem free enough of the basic social necessities where the primary reasons that species propagate to begin with will never concern us again (at least not without some extinction level event). So yeah.. for the foreseeable far future.. as our populations grow you will probably see the percentage of people not wanting kids grow.. and as our populations shrink, you'll see that percentage of people not wanting kids shrink as well.