I called the suicide hotline only to be laughed at and be told nothing could be done

Ah c'mon. PM me your number. Let's chat.

Call again and ask to speak with a manager. Complain.
Did you get her name?
Like, I'm infuriated by this. That woman shouldn't be working for them if that's how she treats callers.

Holy shit. That's some bullshit.

I've never heard of that sort of reaction from a hotline staffer.

Absolutely unacceptable. Please call them back.

Calls to the SPH aren't recorded by definition, right? Is there any kind of monitoring whatsoever?

Also, OP-- the point is to see what's next. It always is. There's something good on the way. Everyone's got you.

Don't let one call get you down or hurt you. Perhaps you had a wrong number, or maybe she's just terrible at it and shouldn't be doing it. That doesn't mean your problem or thoughts aren't valid and that you don't deserve help.

Try another number or call them again, and complain before.

Yukiko™ said:

no I didn't

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They should be able to identify her based on call time or the number you used.

don't feel bad op, she's an asshole, dont give up on help, there's good people that can help you, try another hotline or call some friend/family.
Also go see a psychiatrist too.
I really wish you get well op.

that's not only fucked up, that's straight up fucking dangerous. That women needs to be out of there.

That woman should be fired and should never work in any such field again. Like, holy shit.

Holy. I am sorry you had that experience from the people who are supposed to help. Pls don't stop looking for help. If you ever visit Costa Rica let me know so we can chat.

While you should definitely complain don't feel you have to do it immediately - I know I wouldn't want that sort of confrontation right after facing something like that

See if there are any other numbers that have a more positive reception online, or call a close friend or even some of the members here who have offered. There's always someone who'll be there for you

She's full of shit OP, you can most definitely get help. I have no idea why someone in a suicide prevention hotline would say something so damaging, it angers me.

Please ignore what she said. You can and will get help. Please don't give up.

Please don't let this lady hurt you-- and what's more, I'm beggin' you here, please don't let this person hurt someone else vulnerable either. You got the power to call that line back and speak with the manager and make sure she's not doing that to anybody else, and you should exercise that power. You don't deserve what's happening to you right now and you don't deserve what that lady tried to do to you right now. You can change it and you should because you deserve better and the people who are going through difficult things in life too deserve better too. Someone like that is basically preying on suffering people for their own amusement. I know you're having a hard time right now but you know that lady's wrong-- if you didn't, you wouldn't have made this thread. And you know what she did is wrong. Take the advice of the other posters. Ask to speak with a manager and give them your phone number. This is way messed up.

Jintor said:

that's not only fucked up, that's straight up fucking dangerous. That women needs to be out of there.

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What Jintor said.

This is pretty damn dangerous.

All my love!

tropoFarmer said:

Ah c'mon. PM me your number. Let's chat.

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I was going to say the same thing. I won't be an asshole either.

I'm kinda concerned that you might not be the first caller this woman has treated that way--somebody get her off the freakin' suicide hotline, please...

And to the other issue: if you ever feel like discussing stuff, talking things through... feel free to message me (I can give you my cell or email if you'd prefer) :)

Yukiko™ said:

I really wish I could just kill myself. I don't want to struggle anymore. I can't hurt myself though. I'm stuck.

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My friends and I usually hate the phrase "it gets better," but within this perspective it's the truth. I know it seems impossible that you will ever be better right now, and it's true that some way the stuff you've gone through will leave its mark. But there are ways for your life to improve. Maybe therapy doesn't look like it helps all at once because the brief rush of talking about it passes quickly, but that's not what therapy is about-- it's about making a roadmap to better self-care. You're making this thread because, even in the face of someone in a trusted position abusing that trust to hurt you, some part of you knows it's wrong they did that and that you have worth. Listen to that part of you. It's not going to get easy all right away. And you're going to have bad days. That's OK. But you want to be better and you recognize the ways you're hurting yourself. I know it doesn't look like it but you can beat this and you can have a happy life and you deserve a happy life.

I thought the people who work the phones on this hotline were volunteers? This sounds like the kind of treatment you'd get from someone stuck in a dead end job.

Yukiko™ said:

I really wish I could just kill myself. I don't want to struggle anymore. I can't hurt myself though. I'm stuck.

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Have the same feelings sometimes. Life can be unfulfilling in a massive way, and it can get unbearable.

It's ups and downs though. Even if the downs are really fucking awful, I'm still young. Time for a few more ups, and I want to be there for them.

What a cunt, what the hell is she doing in that job then?

im so sorry that you had to deal with that asshole. I dont even know how you'd go about reporting something like that, which is completely secondary anyway to your own situation.

I just want you to know OP, that you and your life matters. The struggle is worth it for the rewards that life can offer you and the tough times will get better.

Fucking hell. How much of an asshole can you be to work for a helpline and then make fun of ppl who need help?

i don't know anything of your issues but hope that you can work them out and find peace and happiness in your life!

call again if needed, chances are the next person will offer you the help you need atm

I'm so sorry this happened to you OP. That person is a disgrace.
You've been so strong for living a difficult life and still trying to seek help. Please don't give up! If you want to talk, feel free to send me a message.

That person, she was wrong. There are people who can help you, and your life will get better. Don't lose heart!

I am so so sorry. I understand what you're going through, and I'm always here and willing to talk if you want.

red731 said:

What Jintor said.

This is pretty damn dangerous.

All my love!

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Agreed. That lady should not be working any hotline of this sort. Absolutely disgusting that she would say that nothing or no one could help OP.

OP:
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. No one should ever have to.

While I don't know exactly how you feel I've dealt with severe anxiety for over 12 years. It's hard. We often get so caught up on our problems that we can't see the "forest for the trees", as they say. Therapy is a slow process. It takes time and effort. The initial euphoria does fade quickly but eventually, if you give it time, things will slowly get better. I've had panic attacks that have sent me into the emergency room and left me two seconds away from committing myself to a psych hospital. I used to sleep 3 hours over a period of 3 days most weeks thenslept normally the rest of the week. Therapy has changed that. I'm getting regular healthy sleep now and I can deal with panic attacks much better. It was a long slow process but it was worth it.

If you need anyone to talk to, I'm here. Feel free to send me a PM if you want to talk. I'll be up for a few more hours and be happy to help. This goes for anyone struggling as well.

Yukiko™ said:

I really wish I could just kill myself. I don't want to struggle anymore. I can't hurt myself though. I'm stuck.

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Please don't Yukiko please just pick up the phone and call the line again. You are a wonderful woman and deserve help.

Yukiko, there are shitty people out there. You are not one of them, so you gotta stick around.

You should look into reporting this dangerous person, but in the meantime, I will add myself to the list of folks willing to talk. PM me any time. I am no stranger to suicidal thoughts and the strange circuits we navigate to (try our best to) steer away from them.

There is hope, buddy. Your life is precious, no matter how hard it is.

Yukiko™ said:

I really wish I could just kill myself. I don't want to struggle anymore. I can't hurt myself though. I'm stuck.

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I know things are rough right now but please persist. Have any buddies you can speak to about the things you are going through right now?

I'm sorry : ( people can be such jerks. I can't say I know your circumstances but I know what its like to want to end your life.

Living is definetly worth it. You're worth it, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's not guaranteed to get better, but getting better is something that can happen, and something you should always work towards.

Hopefully that lady gets caught and fired.

Hope that lady gets canned. Hell is wrong with people.

That lady is a psychopath. Don't let her dumbass get to you. Please, call the line again, tell them what happened, or talk to someone on here.

OP, I'm sorry that happened. You're very special. Don't loose hope.

What that person is awful and I hope she gets fired because someone like that should not be working there.

You can add me to the list of people that you can talk to.

Why are people like that even in that line of work

Hang in there! I was severely depressed in the past, as well as suffering from anxiety. Therapy helped, and I improved and was good for a number of years. It all started coming back maybe 2 years ago, and it's getting worse now. But I know life is worth living, so I am trying to fight and improve myself. I think you can do it too! You can PM me anytime you want to talk.

OP I'm sorry for the experience you had. That person should not be at that hotline. Stay strong though and maybe call back? Do they have a online chat maybe? I was in a very dark place a few years ago and sought help via an anonymous suicide help chat and survived. Today my life is completely different and much, much better. You can pull through. I have faith in you. ERA is there for you too. Don't give up. Trust me. You are special and everybody here cares about you, so please seek someone to talk to. It helps A LOT even if you just reach out once.

That's just bullshit. The hotline basically has one job, and sucked at it.

That's messed up. There's still hope for you I bet. I also have anxiety and depression. I've found meditation helps significantly. There's some easily found apps that can teach the basics.

I'm really sorry you had to experience that. Don't let that one bad employee discourage you. She's wrong, and there are many people out there who will be able to listen and understand you.

It's shit like this that makes me weary about the suicide hotline. It feels like speaking your mind will only result in generic answers or having the cops called to your place so you can be thrown in a looney bin. I'm sorry that you had to go through that shit. Hopefully that lady gets fired.

Sorry to hear considering that's literally their one job and she's shit at it :/

Pm'd!

Yukiko™ said:

a few of you may know the numerous issues I have but to keep it short

I've been severely bulimic for two months now On top of having had severe depression and anxiety for years. Every day has become different. Every day I can feel different at any second. It's miserable. I started to see a therapist thos week and it was bad enough that she wanted to see me again the next day. And talking about my issues helps but it wears off and I'm back to the regular shit eventually. I've tried to break it but I always relapse back and I realized I don't WANT to stop it because it's workinng and I want to make myself suffer. I have thoughts of suicide all the time but I'm incapable of directly hurting myself. I'd go to an emergency room but I'd get wrecked by bills and I'm already stressing over having not enough money.

anyway I called 18002738255. The lady who picked sounded incredulous when I said i had suicidal thoughts. I told basically everything up there to her. Adding that I couldn't see the problems as being a problem, and that was the problem. She started to laugh and say that there was literally no one, no doctor, certainly not her that could help me.

what is literally the point in ANYTHING

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In the UK, we have the Samaritans that'll just listen to you non-judgmentally.

Unfortunately you can't call from outside the UK, but they get emails from all over the world.

A friend volunteers for them and they have a 24 hour turnaround time, but if you just want to get stuff off your mind, even that inital writing might help.

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-c...s-you-can-get-touch/what-happens-when-i-email

I know that depression makes it hard to not lay everything on yourself, but it's important to recognize that there are (apparently and unfortunately, wtf) worthless pieces of shit who are both incompetent and malicious in many parts of life. That's on them, not you. As someone who isn't all that great with making phonecalls I would personally never dare to call any of these hotlines to begin with – in large part due to worrying about being met with these sorts of remarks. Still, it's good that you called and I don't think you should read further into this than "holy shit how did that person even get this job?" because that is honestly all that is going on here. Whoever is behind this hotline is shit at hiring people. Maybe the lady you spoke to is a relative of the owners who landed the job as a favor or whatever. Shit sucks but that sort of stuff happens everywhere.

Either way, I understand how you feel and I know this sentiment is somewhat passé but as someone who has struggled with depression (and still does) all I can tell you is that life and people are fluid, ever-changing and constantly evolving – you included. Your depression, to some extent, stems from a feeling of that evolution not happening or happening at an undesirable rate, but what needs to change is your environment, not you. I think many people with depression feel like all the pressure is on them to fix themselves or whatever but in reality what you need to do is attempt to place yourself in a new context that will give you new avenues of self-realization, not change everything about yourself. That is a, while still daunting, much less absurd thing to ask of someone.

Give yourself a chance to learn more about yourself. Who you are and what worth you hold isn't always obvious in your current situation, but I assure you that there are many other situations that you are either not privy to or not taking part in that hold people just like you to a much higher regard than your current environment does. Seek that out and get whatever help you need in order to cope with the stress related to that (that's what medication and therapy is truly for) but please stop believing the idea that you need to magically change everything about yourself in order to function to someone else's standards.

My apologies if this line of thinking doesn't apply to you or anyone else who reads this, it's just a general insight I've personally come across over the years (by giving myself the chance to gain that insight by luckily not succumbing to suicide in the first place) that hopefully might help some people out. Cheers!