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Asian ERA |OT| We don't AGE
- Thread starter Pet
- Start date
Welcome, welcome! Always glad to be reunited with old members.
I got something that I had bubbling in the back of my mind. It's not exactly specifically an Asian problem, but it is what trigger the thought. It can be applied to people of all races.
Where do we draw the line between stereotyping and cultural conditioning? I've definitely caught myself assuming this person would do that because he's Chinese. Turned out I was right. I don't have super powers to see into the future, I guessed right because I understand the culture. Did I think that way because I was stereotyping the person, or did I think that way because I understand the culture? Do you ever catch yourself thinking a certain way about someone either because you're stereotyping them, or due to your understanding of their culture?
Where do we draw the line between stereotyping and cultural conditioning? I've definitely caught myself assuming this person would do that because he's Chinese. Turned out I was right. I don't have super powers to see into the future, I guessed right because I understand the culture. Did I think that way because I was stereotyping the person, or did I think that way because I understand the culture? Do you ever catch yourself thinking a certain way about someone either because you're stereotyping them, or due to your understanding of their culture?
That depends on what it is and to what degree it changes your behavior towards that person. There are stereotypes that don't actually have anything to do with the culture at all. It's probably best not to assume something about a person based on race or gender because you're playing a numbers game and the losing end of that could end up with you offending someone. And at a certain point you're just looking for that specific behavior to confirm your way of thinking and if you follow anyone around long enough they'll eventually do something that you'll consider a stereotype.
Just don't be a dick about it and you're good.
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Depends on where you're at when you're pointing it out and how exactly you're pointing it out.
It's not something ridiculous like "hurr hurr he has a small penis cause he's Chinese." It was more along the lines of the guy in a desperate house hunt because he wants to marry his girlfriend. Cause he was telling me how hard it was to find a house, and I just immediately asked if he was planning on getting married. It was a quick assumption on my part.
Here's the thing, the must-have-a-house-and-car rule wasn't a thing when I was a kid in China. Or maybe I wasn't aware of it since I was too young. I know not everyone had a car back when I was young.
I dunno... feels more like a socioeconomic thing than a cultural thing. Every culture has its form of "man needs financial security before he's worthy of marriage." Typically you see it more from middle class and up. You might've just arrived at the correct answer using the wrong assumption.
I get that, but it seems like such a big emphasis on this here in China. It's big news when someone gets into a naked marriage. Naked meaning the guy doesn't have a house and car.
It is a tricky line, but I think, at the very least, it is correct to acknowledge that cultural norms do exist, and that, in part, they can inform smart decision making. I think where you run into trouble is using assumed norms to make negative judgments about a person or their situation. In your example, if I were to take the fact that a certain person's marriage was 'naked' and then think -- what's wrong with this relationship, then I think that might be crossing the line. I mean, there could be something f'ed up about that whole situation, but, I need receipts.
At least, that's my take on it. I'm sure that I do it to a certain extent, especially with the cultures I feel are an intrinsic part of my person hood. I always feel like I understand a person's psyche/psychosis a bit more if they are Japanese, for example.
Joking, joking. Well, half joking
Looking for a house just seems like something serious couples do in general. Usual progression is move into a place single, relationship, move in with SO, then look for bigger place. Didn't know that was considered just a thing in China. Only people I know who buy houses with their non-serious SO's are old rich people.
In China, you don't marry until you already have a house and car. A lot of other countries, you can get a house after you marry. China is like dead set on it. Even if you love each other, the parents won't let you marry until you have a house and a car. My cousin did that, and his girlfriend broke up with him. That said, to him, he's made a worthy investment, so it wasn't a huge lose. It was a blow to my uncle though.
I don't know if a house is still a worthy investment if it's significantly more space than you need. As for the car part, I guess that never really comes up because most people already have a car for other reasons.
Sorry, this post is off-topic from the current conversation. Feel free to ignore me.
I find "waifu" to be racist and it hurts me that it's used everywhere and accepted by everyone.
I'm a first generation immigrant and have suffered and continue to suffer from people making fun of the way I talk. It's been a point of bullying for all my life here. It hurts when the message is "speak English or get out" and then when you try your hardest to speak English, people make fun of you for not doing it perfectly.
When I see English speakers use "waifu" mockingly it brings up these feelings. No one ever says it out of respect or admiration for the language/culture like they may when calling someone "_____-san" or something like that. It's always said in a mocking manner. How is this different from "ching chong" and stuff like that? Both are using perceived speech patterns to make fun of a people/culture.
I was in another Era community (that I left in tears) when I tried to say it was hurtful but most of them just turned on me and mocked me more and tried to make me feel like I'm wrong for being hurt. Am I wrong? Is anyone else in this or similar situation? How do you cope with it? Am I just "overly sensitive"?
I find "waifu" to be racist and it hurts me that it's used everywhere and accepted by everyone.
I'm a first generation immigrant and have suffered and continue to suffer from people making fun of the way I talk. It's been a point of bullying for all my life here. It hurts when the message is "speak English or get out" and then when you try your hardest to speak English, people make fun of you for not doing it perfectly.
When I see English speakers use "waifu" mockingly it brings up these feelings. No one ever says it out of respect or admiration for the language/culture like they may when calling someone "_____-san" or something like that. It's always said in a mocking manner. How is this different from "ching chong" and stuff like that? Both are using perceived speech patterns to make fun of a people/culture.
I was in another Era community (that I left in tears) when I tried to say it was hurtful but most of them just turned on me and mocked me more and tried to make me feel like I'm wrong for being hurt. Am I wrong? Is anyone else in this or similar situation? How do you cope with it? Am I just "overly sensitive"?
harurururururu
where have you been ; __ ; i miss u ; __ ;
also yeah, that kind of casual racism sucks and they actually hurt pretty bad :(
Hmm, that's an interesting conversation. Whenever I see someone use the term "waifu", I assume they're being tongue-in-cheek self-derogatory as that term is typically used by any non-native otaku. I don't think they're saying it to mock the pronunciation of Japanese speakers, but rather as an indicator that they're speaking about a specific type of (usually fictional) woman that appeals to them. That said, I don't dismiss your concerns about its usage and if it legitimately bothers you, I'm glad that you're opening up about it.
Nah, it's a shitty thing to do. That's the world we live in though.
I deal with it by expecting the worst from everyone. I'm never disappointed.
yeah, i've never seen it used outside of any context where it's used in a self-depreciating manner on this end myself
definitely something to look out for/consider though, good to bring it up
It bothers me sometimes because I consider it symptomatic of the broader tendency to reduce Japanese cultural export to certain things that I do not consider representative of Japanese society holistically. In many ways, Japan is blessed because it has undue influence over the worldwide cultural milieu than it ought to, considering it's size. At the same time, I feel like there is a reductionist and ridiculing tendency -- evidenced by the popularity of tropes like "waifu," "weeaboo," "otaku", "hikikomori" and so on and so forth. Perhaps I am oversensitive about it because I am Japanese, though, I'm sure there are things that bother everybody about how their culture is represented on a global level.
That isn't to say that people can't like anime or video games or whatever pop-culture Japan that they want, hell, I like them too, to a certain extent. But I would like people to recognize that there is a broader cultural mosaic at play here.
This echoes my sentiments.
But to be honest, I also use the term (just with my husband), so I'm a little biased here. Neither my husband or I are Japanese, but we tend to append Japanese endings to words (like pet -> petto, wife->waifu, husband->husbando). Though, never in public or in front or others, and not in a mocking way to the Japanese language. I'm not sure why it started. I do it because I think it's sounds like a cuter version of the original word.
I get what you're saying. Obviously, Japan offers far more to the world than anime/gaming sub-culture. But conversely, we're on a videogame forum so you're seeing a microcosm of Japan fandom that isn't necessarily representative of the whole. There are tons of fans of Japanese fashion (both contemporary and street), music, art, food, history, etc. But you're not going to see as much of it if you spend most of your online time here.
Conversely, I think just about every country is characterized by their most popular facets, for good and bad. The US is well known for its gun culture, fast food addictions, hip hop, movie industry, and outgoing social norms. I think the US has a lot more to offer than that, but that's often what's thought of when you think of the US (in particular, the first three).
As someone who isn't Japanese, that's kind of how I feel about it, too. I've never really thought about it when I used the term before, and I've never used it to mock someone's pronunciation. That's not to say it's 100% okay, but I think most people who use the term never intend to put down Japanese or Japanese culture when they use it.
Thanks for bringing the subject up, Miletius. I wasn't aware that some people had an issue with it, and I think it's a good conversation to have.
Tangeroo Absolutely, and I don't really dispute that, which is why I try to mediate what I see here with a wider view of what occurs across the internet. But I do think that it's also particularly pervasive in gaming subculture, which annoys the crap out of me from time to time. I also totally get that there is stereotyping of every culture and it's not like it's totally uninformed -- Japanese people do have weird subcultures, which are more visible oddly enough.
Overall, I don't consider it a huge problem, it's just irksome. I mean, I crack jokes about Anime culture too (see above).
Overall, I don't consider it a huge problem, it's just irksome. I mean, I crack jokes about Anime culture too (see above).
I do think it's pretty weird when people use "waifu" to refer to their actual Japanese wives, or talk about going to Japan to find a waifu. It's all part of this really nasty history of treating Asian women as objects (which, to be honest, in certain regards Asian men aren't helping...)
Oh, yeah, now that you mention that I find that really weird and offputting. I haven't heard it very often, but when I do I'm like, "really?"
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Blame anime, which this site has a lot of fans. YouTube clips have this reference plastered everywhere.
I think it's offensive, too. Since culturally most Asians tend to hold back their true hatred toward something, people usually can get away with saying it.
I can understand your concern. English as second/third language speakers are afraid of being judged/laughed/mocked by native speakers. Really creates a lot of anxiety.
Shameful behavior since I bet a lot of these posters can't even speak a second language at all.
Or toxic masculinity in general, not just Asians.
America still prides in the whole trophy wife thing, especially right now when some person in power blatantly displays it.
I heard about this, too.
Word travels quickly since living spaces are built so close together, so people will know.
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i could go either way with the use of the term really. I find it usually used in a self-derogatory way... but even that gets really irritating after a while tbh. And using it to refer to a real person as anything other than, like, pet names between equals feels pretty weird.
This is how I feel about it.
Yeah.
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How does your family celebrate Thanksgiving?
Used to do turkey every year with a bunch of stir-fry sides, but I'm thinking of changing it up.
Used to do turkey every year with a bunch of stir-fry sides, but I'm thinking of changing it up.
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Growing up, it was a fusion of American and Asian cuisine. We'd always have a turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy. We'd also have plenty of egg rolls, fried rice, and lettuce wraps. Also, plenty of family gambling and freshly heated arguments over nothing.
Traditional American food mixed with Hawaii dishes. Haupia pie, kalua pig, etc.
Most of the typical American trimmings, along with some bi hun (I dunno how to spell it honestly, that's what my mom calls it--stir fried cellophane noodles with cut up pork and veggies, basically) and homemade hot sour soup.
Sounds like a decent dish, lol. Seriously though that sucks. Is it one of those arguments that makes things awkward or just "family" arguing for arguments sake?
We have the essentials: a turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, multiple salads, and we usually have one or two Asian dishes ie stir-fry, egg rolls, cabbage rolls, or something big like Pho, Khob Poob, or Sweet Pork.
Dude, we totally do Bi-hun too. In addition to the usual stuff, we'll also have some sort of rice dish and the aforementioned bi-hun.
Family arguing for arguments sake. Almost exclusively my mom arguing with her sisters (who all argue together). It was all petty stuff too, mostly with regards to how to show respect or being disrespected by supposed "sleights".
That's some old bullshit. We've had those before but never during the holidays. I'm hoping this isn't the first year it starts happening due to certain events that had happened this year.
Oh neat :3 bi hun is always on the holiday menu for sure, anything else is pretty variable.
Hi everyone, native Chinese living in Shanghai here, been lurking for a while.
Just wanna say I really enjoy ERA and this thread particularly. Since the chance of GFW(Great fire wall) blocking a relative obscurity gaming forum is rather slim, I can stay here as long as I can I guess \o/
I know it's mostly about life experience as descendants of Asian immigrants, so I don't have much to add...but if anyone have interest in living and working in Shanghai, feel free to ask, I'll try my best to answer
Just wanna say I really enjoy ERA and this thread particularly. Since the chance of GFW(Great fire wall) blocking a relative obscurity gaming forum is rather slim, I can stay here as long as I can I guess \o/
I know it's mostly about life experience as descendants of Asian immigrants, so I don't have much to add...but if anyone have interest in living and working in Shanghai, feel free to ask, I'll try my best to answer
Welcome to the thread (and the Dark Theme Net)! I'll probably never work outside of the US, but I'd love to visit Shanghai someday. Do you have any advice for visitors? For example, is it okay if you only know English?
It's totally okay if you only know English.Most of the staffs working at the tourist hot-spots can speak English, or at least understand it. Street signs, subway stations names and things like this are all written in English, besides in Chinese.
But if you want to visit Shanghai as a totally independent traveler, and don't plan to contact any English tourism service company, then the best advice I can give is this: download a Chinese cab-calling APP. The most popular APP of its kind is "滴滴打车"，you can change its language display to English easily. The cab-drivers here rarely respond to hand-waving calling along the street now, they all pick up customer through APP. I lost counts of how many times of me witnessing the sights of tourists or old people, waving hands desperately, but waves of taxis just ignore them.