-
Ever wanted an RSS feed of all your favorite gaming news sites? Go check out our new Gaming Headlines feed! Read more about it here.
-
We have made minor adjustments to how the search bar works on ResetEra. You can read about the changes here.
Bride cancels wedding after guests refused to pay $1500 attendance fee
- Thread starter CrankyJay
- Start date
Nah, if you're rich then spend away and have a great wedding if you can afford it, donate as well since you're rich. But if you're not rich, then don't spend lifetime savings on a single day/week of celebration, as you said, buy things that will be useful.
Why not have the rest of the life together be the best days? I'd think that to matter more!
But maybe I'm just too queer to understand straight mating rituals.
Lol. Trust me I'm straight and they don't make sense to me either. Tbh I actually get it more when queer people have huge weddings because it means much more symbolically.
I came across an interesting post in a local forum. So for chinese weddings, we typically have a dowry, where the bride and groom's parents give something of value to each other but nowadays its typically given back to the children for their lives together. A typical example is one side paying for deposit of the couple's new apartment, the other paying for renovation/house furnishing and furniture etc.
So this lady posted to mention the breakoff of her wedding because of the class difference. Basically her parents and relatives were giving her properties and cars worth millions + the wedding ceremony and expected the groom's side to contribute at least 200k to the future household, but her in-laws only had 4k to give. To be honest, i don't blame her because this is such a gulf in class and expectations. She probably won't be happy in such a marriage too. I know a few marriages that have this gap in class, usually it's the bride that is wealthier, and they tend to end not well. As an outsider, i always observe that the lady has a lot of hidden assets because it is not 'nice' to let everyone know how much wealthier her husband is.
I have a friend who married a billionaire's daughter and it was so strange. They were working on paying off a condo that they both chipped in to buy with their salaries. Right after they seperated, she returned him her share of the money for the condo, moved out, bought another condo herself worth 50% more than the shared condo, opened a jewellry shop, etc. It was like the chains had come off. My friend was upper middle class so it wasn't as though it was playing poor.
So this lady posted to mention the breakoff of her wedding because of the class difference. Basically her parents and relatives were giving her properties and cars worth millions + the wedding ceremony and expected the groom's side to contribute at least 200k to the future household, but her in-laws only had 4k to give. To be honest, i don't blame her because this is such a gulf in class and expectations. She probably won't be happy in such a marriage too. I know a few marriages that have this gap in class, usually it's the bride that is wealthier, and they tend to end not well. As an outsider, i always observe that the lady has a lot of hidden assets because it is not 'nice' to let everyone know how much wealthier her husband is.
I have a friend who married a billionaire's daughter and it was so strange. They were working on paying off a condo that they both chipped in to buy with their salaries. Right after they seperated, she returned him her share of the money for the condo, moved out, bought another condo herself worth 50% more than the shared condo, opened a jewellry shop, etc. It was like the chains had come off. My friend was upper middle class so it wasn't as though it was playing poor.
Well, if you're putting yourself in debt for it, I think the implication already jumped the shark and is rapidly fleeing into the horizon :D
Haha, fair point xD
In Canada we have something called Stag and Doe parties, where the to-be bride and groom throw a party to raise money for the wedding. Usually there's a raffle and stuff. Rich people see it as a bit tacky, my rich friend tells me. I'm indifferent. Weddings are a big dog and pony dress-up show to me anyways.
My wife and I had 2 weddings 6 months apart. We had a Christian wedding and a Hindu wedding with 85 ppl and 190 guests respectively. Both combined were about 50 grand. I have some wealthy friends who had 400- 500 guest and their weddings cost like 100k and they were completely over the top as you would expect for that kind of budget.
This girl is insane, 60k wedding for like 50 ppl? Where is the money being spent?
Also Canadian and I've never heard of this.
This girl is insane, 60k wedding for like 50 ppl? Where is the money being spent?
Also Canadian and I've never heard of this.
It's also called a buck and doe, jack and Jill? Nothing? Google it, it's a real thing!
She's out of her mind. It is not the responsibility of your guests to pay for and ensure you get your 'dream' wedding. Simply put, if you can't afford it, don't do it. Not everyone has to have their desired dream wedding, just as not everyone gets to have a Ferrari or whatever other materialistic thing they desire but can't afford. She honestly sounds immature, irresponsible and somewhat entitled.
Because "the rest of the life together" has to begin somewhere. Up until marriage, relationships can be viewed with a bit of transience. But having a person tell you "I want to be with you forever" is... y'know, kind of a huge fucking deal. The wedding is the follow-through, where you finally can go "oh shit, it wasn't just words, they actually meant it". There's a sense of relief that a person feels when they get to let go of the sensation that they're maybe not going to die alone for the first time in their life (or for some, the first time in a very long time). There's an existential weight lifted off their shoulders. That's a really tough feeling to beat and all the happiness after is the bonus to that sense of relief. And with all things, prolonged exposure to a good thing moderately reduces the endorphin rush of the very first hit.
Hope that clears things up. And yes, I kinda just likened a loving marriage to drug addiction. Come at me.
I've heard of stag parties, but it's always just been another name for a bachelor party. Maybe it's just a thing in your corner of the country, like the word bunnyhug is in mine.
My wedding cost around £7,000 all in. I didn't ask anyone for anything. $1500 for each person sounds crazy. It would be interesting to see details of the costs and what was planned for this exclusive event.
I genuinely never felt that way. To me, marriage is more a legal hurdle that can prevent a lot of bad stuff from happening if it is in place, but that has no inherent meaning, haha. Probably mostly owed to most of my life marriage being something that's not available for people like me, so all the symbolic stuff is lost, and the focus is more on the effects.
Wasn't available to me, either, but thanks to straight people ruling the world, I still had the belief that my relationships were more transient and impermanent without marriage, despite the fact that I couldn't resolve that in the way that I was taught to by getting married. (I'm aware that this was a form of internalized homophobia imposed upon me by heterosexual media, but once I got the right to marry 13 years ago, it didn't feel like a form of self-deprecation anymore and was just a fact of life for me)
I know not everyone feels that way, but I don't think it's controversial to say that a lot of people do.
I think our guest list came to 44 in the end, so no, not a big guest list (I'm def with you on smaller #s). We had family and friends that had to fly from across the US, Australia, Japan, England, etc., so we weren't expecting a big turnout, but we'd only invited 50, so it was almost spot on in the end. But it was, like I mentioned, a premium venue with high tier food/bar options because everyone was coming so far. I did forget about the photographer, though. That's 2k of the total (final bill was just over 9k according to my records) right there. So venue, food, open bar, photographer, dress, hair, celebrant, decorations, DJ, gifts for bridal party, etc. for 9k+. I feel like I did pretty good overall, and we didn't actually end up paying for anything in the end, so it's not like we were put out.
For the courthouse/elopement thing, it IS a big saving, so I can't argue with people there. :D Agreed on the rest, of course. Now, what's the dumbest/craziest thing you've seen pushed as a 'necessity' for a wedding? Donut wall? Mashitini bar?
...Wow. Really? And it was a Vera Wang, too? I mean, what are they going to do with after? I'm as boggled as you.
Maybe its a regional thing? Very common where I sm from (southern ontario)
Reminds me of time my dad's ex-gf left him because a psychic told her he wasn't her "true soulmate". Seriously, that psychic did him a solid.
Bruh she said they broke up because of irreconcilable differences. Tell us how you really feel fam.
Also 8 page thread, guessing defense force showed up ?
Also 8 page thread, guessing defense force showed up ?
Craziest thing pushed as a necessity? Other than the $2-8K engagement ring? Hmmm... an Instagram hashtag for guests to use for pictures of the wedding was probably the fucking dumbest, but it doesn't cost anything, so it's mostly harmless, but stupid all the same. For things that cost money, though, the dumbest is ALWAYS live animals like doves or butterflies to be released as a symbolic gesture. WHY?!
EDIT: I should probably lump horse-drawn carriages into the mix. Nothing satisfies a bride's royalty complex quite like a Cinderella marriage coach.
EDIT 2: OH! Costume rentals for attending pets!! Almost forgot that one!
Last edited:
10k isn't bad for a weeding. I mean I wouldn't wanna pay that much but it's a respectable amount, enough that if an SO requested I would be willing for it.
You wanna know ridiculous ? Chinese Friend of mine is getting married and the stories I hear are just..jesus. Overall its gonna cost him somewhere between 60k-100k which includes flying family members to taiwan and a 20k dowry. So yea, modern weedings are a scam.
You wanna know ridiculous ? Chinese Friend of mine is getting married and the stories I hear are just..jesus. Overall its gonna cost him somewhere between 60k-100k which includes flying family members to taiwan and a 20k dowry. So yea, modern weedings are a scam.
Very common in southern Ontario. Practically everyone I know has had a stag n doe.
That's an interesting view since many marriges get divorced in this day and age. Do you think people can't get that feeling without getting married? Living together forever / till death isn't guaranteed through marriage.
I'm together with my gf for a long time now and we have kids. We don't like marriage. One friend, who just married and has no kids told me "are you scarred to marry?" and i laughed because kids bond people way more together than marriage. When people divorce, they maybe never speak again with each other and have nothing that ties them together but if i break up with my gf, we will always have the kids together, so getting kids was a way bigger step then getting married. Sorry for the OT.
Huh. Completely slipped by me. Under normal circumstances it could have been its own thread.
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/susan-bride-wedding/
Unproven.
I personally think it's real. I think it is too ridiculous to be fake, if that makes sense.
Unproven.
I personally think it's real. I think it is too ridiculous to be fake, if that makes sense.
Lol that's precisely why I think so many believe it to be real.
It's a trick the mind plays on itself, hence my referring to it as a sensation. People may even logically know it's not true, but a marriage is like... an action that makes it infinitely clear that you want to, at the very least. And for some, that's enough to let go of any fear they have of being alone. Even some marriage cynics I know seemed to experience this phenomenon in some form.
I dunno, one could say equally cynical things about the situation you're in. For example, one could argue that having a child with someone only signals that you'll be bound together out of a mutual interest in your progeny moreso than it does an actual desire of wanting your partner in your life.
But you are correct, having children with someone does change the situation dramatically for some people and may fulfill that same release of existential dread I mentioned that couples without children experience through marriage.
And for each of those things, someone will look at it and say that they can't understand why you's spend so much on it. ;)
A party that I'm not throwing? Why would I pay for that? I'll have a wedding I can afford when the time comes and not worry myself with whether or not someone "paid" their way to be able to attend. I did invite them to come after all.
There is always better things to spend money on. IMO people can do what they want with their money, but asking for others to help fund stuff like this is out of line I feel. We spent quite a bit on our wedding and it was amazing not only for us, but for the guests who attended. Not everyone will understand why people do certain things with their money, but if it works for them and doesn't negatively impact others, I don't see an issue.
Yeah ours was expensive, but it was within our means, everyone had a BLAST (including us - we planned it out so we'd actually enjoy it), got a good photographer so lots of good memories, awesome unique venue (Museum of Science in Boston), etc.
The money could have gone to something else, but to us it was worth it in the end for the experience. What's kinda crazy is that on the flip side the dress was less than $1000 (my custom-suit was more, but I can keep using it) and got worn two more times as we did sorta mini-receptions in our home towns for people who couldn't travel. The grand total for our two wedding bands (meteorite + makume) and the engagement band (ebony wood + moissanite) was under $1500 but we get far more questions and comments about our rings than people who fork for giant hideous diamond things.
Yeah, I get that.
It's just that I've seen quite a few people spunk £££££ on a wedding and then complain that they can't afford a deposit for a house, or whatever.
It's a back east thing. I first learned of it when talking to people from Ontario. I was confused.
I'm assuming people who think this is fake haven't seen Bridezillas, this could be fake sure but it does not sound out of the realm of possibility to me at all. There are some extremely out of touch, entitled individuals out there (regretfully I've met some of them) even knowing that reality tv plays it up for drama.
Edit: Oh lord I didn't see that this thread hadn't been posted in since Wednesday, that's what I get for not refreshing before posting
Never mind the skill and time required by the artist to design, bake, assemble, and decorate the cake, but screw paying artists for their work, right? $1000 for a wedding cake sounds excessive to me too but there's a lot more going into a wedding cake than just milk, eggs, and flour smdh.
Edit: Oh lord I didn't see that this thread hadn't been posted in since Wednesday, that's what I get for not refreshing before posting