And that's God damn heart breaking. The Good Feel developed pile of mediocrity that was Warioland Shake It! doesn't cut it for me. It was peak Nintendo shoe horning motion controls into shit that works better with a button. And I never got a chance to play the Treasure developed Wario World though I've heard it's just okay.
No true Warioland is made by any studio other than R&D1. And dog gone it, Wario Land (VB), 3, and 4 deserve to be mentioned amongst the best 2D platformers Nintendo has ever made. And I don't know if you can tell or not, but it's been seventeen years since we got a real one.
Warioland wasn't a humorless, almost borderline soulless experience like what Mario has become. Don't get me wrong, I love Mario, but in my eyes Nintendo been wringing personality from that series ever since Thousand Year Door and Bowser's Inside Story. Games that start with the word "New" not withstanding, the mainline Mario games have never been anything but inspired masterpieces but I can't help but feel like they're fun in the corporate sort of way Disney World is fun.
Warioland bathes in personality. The story might be just as narratively bare-bones but the bones that are present are straight up goofy as fuck. Mario smiles, jumps, and goes woo-hoo. Wario heaves his belly, flexes his biceps, and twirls his mustache. I just love Wario. I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm shitting on Mario and I don't want it to detract from what I'm trying to say. But Wario is the fucking best and I want to pour one out for my homie. His platform games are great because they're more nuanced than simple platforming. I love the puzzles in 3 and 4...
The ranking I give Nintendo characters is as follows.
1. Wario. He's just the best.
2. Donkey Kong. He hoards an enormous amount of bananas and keeps an inventory of every last one. All he wants to do is sleep in his hut, dance, and fuck. He's goofy af and I love him. Expand Dong.
3. Luigi. Because Mario is an emotionless hack. He's the video game character equivilant to a smiley face emogy. Luigi is taller and that makes him better by default, plus he had an actual personality.
4. Samus Aran. Because she does what needs to be done and doesn't afraid of anything.
5. Shiek because there aren't enough cool girl characters in Nintendo games and I'll take all that I can get.
No true Warioland is made by any studio other than R&D1. And dog gone it, Wario Land (VB), 3, and 4 deserve to be mentioned amongst the best 2D platformers Nintendo has ever made. And I don't know if you can tell or not, but it's been seventeen years since we got a real one.
Warioland wasn't a humorless, almost borderline soulless experience like what Mario has become. Don't get me wrong, I love Mario, but in my eyes Nintendo been wringing personality from that series ever since Thousand Year Door and Bowser's Inside Story. Games that start with the word "New" not withstanding, the mainline Mario games have never been anything but inspired masterpieces but I can't help but feel like they're fun in the corporate sort of way Disney World is fun.
Warioland bathes in personality. The story might be just as narratively bare-bones but the bones that are present are straight up goofy as fuck. Mario smiles, jumps, and goes woo-hoo. Wario heaves his belly, flexes his biceps, and twirls his mustache. I just love Wario. I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm shitting on Mario and I don't want it to detract from what I'm trying to say. But Wario is the fucking best and I want to pour one out for my homie. His platform games are great because they're more nuanced than simple platforming. I love the puzzles in 3 and 4...
The ranking I give Nintendo characters is as follows.
1. Wario. He's just the best.
2. Donkey Kong. He hoards an enormous amount of bananas and keeps an inventory of every last one. All he wants to do is sleep in his hut, dance, and fuck. He's goofy af and I love him. Expand Dong.
3. Luigi. Because Mario is an emotionless hack. He's the video game character equivilant to a smiley face emogy. Luigi is taller and that makes him better by default, plus he had an actual personality.
4. Samus Aran. Because she does what needs to be done and doesn't afraid of anything.
5. Shiek because there aren't enough cool girl characters in Nintendo games and I'll take all that I can get.
