When people have good things and you know you can't ever have them. Worst feeling in the world

Vague, sure, but a little more? Physical consumer things? Relationship things? Spiritual things?

I often wish I had some form of faith, it seems to be a beautiful addition to some people's lives. As absurd as it sits with me.

Just know things could be worse and it will make that go away.

I hope you'll find worth and happiness in the things in your reach, OP.

Fuck envy man. I'm just glad to be alive.

I know that feeling.

But I'll never be a millionaire either..

Yup. Stings.

Try to be mindful, it won't bother or hurt you

I'm certain you have things (physical, emotional, whatever) that others will never have too. It may not make your feeling of loss or lacking any less painful in of itself, but keep it in mind.

You couldn't be more vague with that OP lol

You at least have to give people the Deadly Sin category you're working under. Are we talking Envy, Greed, Lust, Gluttony, Pride, or Sloth?

I mean I guess it could be Wrath if the thing is revenge but I'm trying to at least get you started on the road to sorting this out, OP.

Too vague, try again.

Not an expert but I bet a lumbar puncture would feel worse.

I'm never going to have a Ferrari but I have lots of things that do make me happy and I'm fine with that.

What are you doing talking about OP? Expensive consumer goods? Relationships with people?

I understand sometime there is a need to vent , but try thinking it could be worse . Try thinking some people have one or two limbs less , and how much they long for it .

Interested Observer said:

I'm never going to have a Ferrari but I have lots of things that do make me happy and I'm fine with that.

What are you doing talking about OP? Expensive consumer goods? Relationships with people?

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A Ferrari is an interesting thing. This all comes down to taste. It's just unfortunate that I believe the Ferrari 250 GT California Spyder is the most beautiful car ever made. They go for around 12 - 15M, so I don't know how wealthy I'd need to be to feel justified on spending that on a car, and even then, could I bring myself to drive it? I had a Porsche and after spinning it out felt compelled to sell it to save smashing it up.

I remember an interview with John Frusciante saying he wanted a 57/58 Les Paul, but couldn't justify the cost. He was a guitarist in one of the biggest rock bands in the world at the time, and he didn't feel comfy dropping half a rock on a guitar.

Do not feel envy, but rather be happy for that other person. Then find your own means of happiness and work towards it.

Envy is a waste of energy.

This is envy
Learn to love what you already have instead

nobody's life is perfect, not even that one person who you're currently jealous of

You mean like ice cream? Are you on a diet?

Yup. Being skint sucks.

Even worse when people on ERA are talking about buying $4000 dollar office chairs and their $20000 sound system or expensive jeans/iphones/egos etc.

I learned a long time ago i dont need overpriced bullshit. Lot happier for it.

Is it seeing others in a relationship? Kinda hard to discuss without context, Sol...

Hmmm well hang in there buddy. I noticed you had another thread about being lonely too. :( I don't like this whole you're going down. I've been there before (depression wise anyway) And it creates demons.

Good luck.

Is this a hidden incel thread?


I know that feeling though, whenever i see happy families.

honest_ry said:

Yup. Being skint sucks.

I learned a long time ago i dont need overpriced bullshit. Lot happier for it.

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Fuck Yeah! Wouldn't like to meet a younger me who had gotten a hold of a lot of money, I'd be a mess with it.

Yes, somebody owns this yacht and it just eats me up inside!

It's a hot/cute girl isn't it?

Wut. Haven't struggled with this much to be honest. I'm happy with what I have and the stuff that bothers me is personal to my own inadequacies, not external pressures other people flaunt.

When im on the bus or in a car and drive by a ferrari and lambo even tho I know ill probably never own em (even if I had the money id probably do something else) it never really makes me feel that way.

I just know I live in a nice place, we arent exactly scraping for cash (altho its expensive af so it evens everything out I guess), we have the services we need, and I have a chance to work or go to university so I cant really complain.

To cure this, read the first half of Man's Search for Meaning and then coast on the buzz of not living in a concentration camp.

SolVanderlyn said:

Yeah, you're right. Funny how such a succinct post can make me feel like an envious fool so fast.

Not physical things in this case.

Maybe this was a dumb thread to make. Sorry.

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It's not a dumb thing to vent. Based on the limited information you've given, I'm just gonna assume this is an unrequited love type situation, which is a terrible thing to experience. Please don't take this the wrong way, but: How old are you? I'm not trying to downplay your problem or anything like that, but the way the problem feels and behaves can differ quite a bit depending on your age. Stuff I went through therapy for 15 years ago would just be a really shitty but handleable thing to me now, for instance.

the sooner you stop caring so much, the less it all really matters.

OP needs to learn to go down on his missus.

You don't get a little if you don't give a little.

Living in NYC, it's easy to feel this way - you see the brownstones & Porsches and you know it's unlikely you'll ever get there.

But I've found it also makes it easy to be grateful - I've lived a full life as a young man partying and sowing oats. Now I have a beautiful wife who is having a healthy pregnancy (so far, thank god). We make good money, have no debt and lots of loving friends & family. You look at homeless folk or hear people here and their struggles with finding a partner and you also know you'll never be there either.

So try to focus on the positive and be grateful.

We all long for things we don't have. It's human nature. And the people that have those things probably long as much for other things. In the end everybody's just improvising, in their own head nobody's as secure as they may seem. Don't compare yourself to the facade of other people's lives

It's hard to write anything useful since you don't want to post details

Just... what I would say to my self from just a few year ago is... be patient. I used to be pretty depressed and lonely, because I had no relationship, couldn't make friends and had no idea how to achieve the things I dreamed of. And in the end it all mostly worked out, I met genuinely great people, forced myself to try new things despite my terrible social awkwardness, learned a lot about what actually makes me happy, found a job I would have been really envious of years before (and realized it's mostly a chore, but that's life)

But it could all have been way easier if I had just worked on myself and realized that it takes time to change yourself, to achieve things, to grow friendships or relationships. I wanted everything instantly, and because of that I actually just burned bridges and made a mess of my life for a while

If it's just material things: once you have it you realize it doesn't make you happier and you want other things.

Don't compare yourself to others.

enjoy what you have

Well just think to yourself if you really really do want certain things.

Like myself, I wouldn't want a mansion or a Huge House... shit is unnecessary space and scary for this City feller. Add a backyard that animals and insects and God knows what else can slither around in there... and try to make it into the house? Nope!

Ferrari? I'd be worried that I might actually drive it like a Ferrari and crash, even though I believe in my handles.

Rendering... said:

To cure this, read the first half of Man's Search for Meaning and then coast on the buzz of not living in a concentration camp.

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Wtf is this post? Should we all just be happy because we're not living in Auschwitz? That's... quite a standard

It's ok to feel lonely or depressed even though you have a comfortable life compared to the suffering of other people now or in history

Afrikan said:

Well just think to yourself if you really really do want certain things.

Like myself, I wouldn't want a mansion or a Huge House... shit is unnecessary space and scary for this City feller. Add a backyard that animals and insects and God knows what else can slither around in there... and try to make it into the house? Nope!

Ferrari? I'd be worried that I might actually drive it like a Ferrari and crash, even though I believe in my handles.

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yah but what about a brownstone and unlimited Uber XL?

Glasgow Mega-Snake said:

Wtf is this post? Should we all just be happy because we're not living in Auschwitz? That's... quite a standard

It's ok to feel lonely or depressed even though you have a comfortable life compared to the suffering of other people now or in history

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WTF is this reply? Is it really so controversial to point out that getting perspective into the lives of people far more unfortunate than yourself is an antidote to envy?

If this idea disturbs your constitution so badly, perhaps you're better off not reading a book about harrowing real life stuff.

Infinitebento said:

the sooner you stop caring so much, the less it all really matters.

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Beautiful bread is the only thing that matters.

Rendering... said:

WTF is this reply? Is it really so controversial to point out that getting perspective into the lives of people far more unfortunate than yourself is an antidote to envy?

If this idea disturbs your constitution so badly, perhaps you're better off not reading a book about harrowing real life stuff.

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I'm a history student, I've read my fair share of harrowing stories. And getting a perspective into other people's lives is important. But it doesn't have anything to do with this thread

I just feel it's incredibly tasteless to bring the Holocaust into a thread where a user tries to talk about his personal problems, as a way to tell him that his experiences don't matter because it could be far worse.

Again, 'you're not living through a genocide, so you should just be content' is like the lowest standard of happiness you can possibly apply

Airegin said:

If it's just material things: once you have it you realize it doesn't make you happier and you want other things.

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But for srs this

What is relative deprivation

I thought I'd never get to live in a beautiful place so that was a factor in far away from all I've ever known. All my other friends had all moved several states away and I was afraid of being stuck there forever. When the opportunity arose I just took the chance.

OP is too vague but I'd make a list and pick the most important thing you want and try to make a goal. You can't have everything you want but you can pick the most urgent one and work from there

I feel you OP. I just saw my cousin tagged in a home listing on Facebook. They're selling a $435k house near Atlanta. This house has everything from a pool to a hot tub, a beautiful back deck, 5 bedrooms...

And I struggle to get the rent paid every month. Feels bad.

Oh we all miss out on something. Surely the most important stuff is right there for you to enjoy.
Nature, sun, friends, family, maybe a girlfriend (though hopefully you are aware that a lot of relationships suck ass and are just there because people can't stand the thought of being "alone").

Edit:
The more people post on social media, the less they are in the moment of happiness.
Don't be fooled by the social media lie. The most happy people rarely post on social media. One reason for that is that they don't care what other people think of their life or want to treasure the privacy of their loved ones by not going too public with it.

I am going to be completely honest i have never felt like this.