That's why I avoid the Star Wars threads these days ... it's too brutal and not really worth the stress.
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I'm kinda surprised that nerdy communities - even liberal ones - are so judgmental towards others
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The reason so many people here are so negative, judgmental, and unhappy is because they themselves are unhappy. Do you think they actually want to spend so much time here, interacting with people they'll never meet?
That said, I don't think they represent most of the user base here, but still a big percentage.
That said, I don't think they represent most of the user base here, but still a big percentage.
OP
OP
I'm don't disagree. At the same time however, it is difficult to empathize about something without being able to relate to it in some way. So while perspective doesn't automatically make you empathetic, it certainly makes it easier to empathize.
I see it other places too. Didn't mean to make this seem exclusive to nerdy communities. It was just an observation relevant to our community so I thought it would make for an interesting conversation.
Japanese men, in particular. Keep in mind I'm talking specifically and anecdotally about the CCG/table top gaming crowd in Hiroshima City, which really isn't that big a sample size. But they are some of the most misogynist, entitled, emotionally stunted people I've ever come across in my life.
A lot of us aren't stigmatized or shunned or judged or shamed or whatever because we like video games, or comics, or whatever "nerdy" thing you think we do.
Nerd (hate that word) gate keeping is one of the worst things nerd culture does and continues to do, not realising perhaps how self destructive it will inevitably be, or just not caring.
It's really easy to judge someone
A) From a distance
B) Relatively anonymously
C) Based purely on text, without physical movement or intonation to denote tone
D) With proper time to prepare a response
A) From a distance
B) Relatively anonymously
C) Based purely on text, without physical movement or intonation to denote tone
D) With proper time to prepare a response
I just find it fascinating that people seem so eager to share very intimate details about their lives to strangers. Which leads to all kinds of criticism. I remember sharing something on Dating - GAF years ago and I was obliterated because of how I ended up with my current girlfriend.
Makes me question how lonely they really are.
Makes me question how lonely they really are.
To your first point, I agree, but (hopefully positive) exposure to different kind of people and the depth of their experiences can be even better. There's an argument to be made that deempasizing your own wants/needs (and getting positive reciprocation) is often the key in encouraging empathy.
Second point, I didn't think you were. :)
"Nerd" has nothing to do with it. I've been all around and met all sorts of people. This is just how people are in general.
I think it's a mix of both having some degree of power in a space and self-esteem issues. Some people feel the need to vehemently defend their interests even from the most innocuous of criticisms, while others relish in creating a weird sort of caste system. You know, the whole "you aren't a true Star Wars fan if you didn't read the Legends material" and what have you.
I honestly just view it as a bit silly for the most part, but then you get the well-known cases where nerd communities become twisted and abhorrent.
I honestly just view it as a bit silly for the most part, but then you get the well-known cases where nerd communities become twisted and abhorrent.
Self Esteem.
Also, the age of innocence on forums and social media platforms is over. Dox is now a word. There is such thing as twitter campaigns. Subreddits pop up to harass and troll. People get fired via twitter. I've seen some people mention that places exist simply to Dox certain posters here. Actors/actresses are being chased off twitter.
It's gotten nasty as fuck everywhere on the internet in the past 8 years and for the first time, its spilling over into real life in a big way.
Why else do you think everyone here is both on the defensive and on the attack when someone "steps out of line". I've never made a "disingenuous" argument but holy shit I've been accused of that here at least five times. There are just too many people to deal with for us to approach one another as anything more than an avatar and whatever tone of voice we hear in our head when we read their posts.
This place does entertain me, so there's that.
Also, the age of innocence on forums and social media platforms is over. Dox is now a word. There is such thing as twitter campaigns. Subreddits pop up to harass and troll. People get fired via twitter. I've seen some people mention that places exist simply to Dox certain posters here. Actors/actresses are being chased off twitter.
It's gotten nasty as fuck everywhere on the internet in the past 8 years and for the first time, its spilling over into real life in a big way.
Why else do you think everyone here is both on the defensive and on the attack when someone "steps out of line". I've never made a "disingenuous" argument but holy shit I've been accused of that here at least five times. There are just too many people to deal with for us to approach one another as anything more than an avatar and whatever tone of voice we hear in our head when we read their posts.
This place does entertain me, so there's that.
I feel that our kind of groups had a huge stigma in our childhoods that led to a low self esteem (parents and classmates judging you) At least this is something that seems to dissapear in the newer generations. Like for example, I have 2 nieces that are into nerdy things, are open about it, don't have the "nerd girl" stereotype and for the most part, are not judged by her peers since they are also into that.
Compare that when I was a child, my classmates mocked me for being a nerd, but later in my twenties I discovered that most of them shared my interests, but were not open about it
Compare that when I was a child, my classmates mocked me for being a nerd, but later in my twenties I discovered that most of them shared my interests, but were not open about it
I'm not associating myself with any geek community or alike, but I was a weird child with bad social awareness until I was maybe 15 and I was mocked and bullied daily because people thought I was a loser (I also was too embarrassed to tell to my parents and nothing was done), so as I grew up sticking to computer games and stuff (and also pursuing music which is the best thing I did) I had internalized a lot of the insecurities given to me through the bullying. I would keep playing games because that is what I liked to do but would do so on the premise in my head that it was wrong and I was a nerd and etc. and it started to make me judgemental towards others which I perpetuated myself until at some point I realized I was becoming an asshole myself. But it still lingers in my head, that sense that "It isn't normal to indulge in computers and geeky stuff, it makes you a loser etc." It has affected me and I think in nerd culture you see a lot of that kind of projection at every turn. Many of us are insecure and afraid of being singled out and unfortunately the response to that fear is to get ahead of it and talk shit about someone else. It's toxic and should be avoided when we have the self-awareness and maturity to shut it down.
It's an age of self righteousness and puritanism, and liberals are just as bad at both as right wingers.
I don't see what is surprising about that. Nerds are still human beings. And a such will be judgemental and shit on any different community they'd disaprove with for any reason they'd find. As petty as it can be.
We are humans, right or wrong, that's just what we do.
I mean, we REALLY all do that, no matter what. Liberals are judgemental against conservatives for instance. For good reasons, yes, but the point still stands.
That's just what we are.
Apart from somebody that would have lived his entire life alone without any contact with the rest of humanity, we are all doing this in a form or another. We have been doing that since the dawn of time, and i don't see it changing any time soon.
We are humans, right or wrong, that's just what we do.
I mean, we REALLY all do that, no matter what. Liberals are judgemental against conservatives for instance. For good reasons, yes, but the point still stands.
That's just what we are.
Apart from somebody that would have lived his entire life alone without any contact with the rest of humanity, we are all doing this in a form or another. We have been doing that since the dawn of time, and i don't see it changing any time soon.
I curious, what make someone on a video game forum not a nerd?
I really don't think the OP did a good job of defining the word.
I really don't think the OP did a good job of defining the word.
Playing games doesn't constitute one as a nerd anymore. Quite literally everyone plays games now. There's lots of room between a person playing Candy Crush and someone with a complete Amiibo collection.
I'm asking the stuff between Candy Crush and Amiibo collection. What tips them into the derogatory category of nerd.
I didn't realize the majority of ERA gather to talk about Candy Crush. LOL
In modern era I think a lot of "nerds" are lashing out because the one thing that they used to "own" is no more main stream. Comics, video games, cartoons/anime, movies. At one point you were an outcast for being way into either of these but now they're much more mainstream and widely accepted. So now they're being louder and more aggressive because how dare those normies encroach on my space.
It's not scientifically accurate and varies from country to country. If gaming in its most common areas (playing games, debating them, watching them, collecting them) is your hobby then you are probably a nerd in most people's eyes.
Bang. This is the most succinct summation of what I think this thread is getting at. I've seen plenty of this in passing and was recently a target of it.
I had problems editing a post in the BST thread, admittedly got frustrated, and bent a rule. Dude decided to call me out publicly, so I sent him a PM. Even opened it with a rib since I didn't want them to feel attacked. (even if I did) All I wanted to do was put out a teachable point in how to tactfully coexist with others while avoiding potentially creating an abrasive image.
Sure enough, dude was immediately accusatory, defensive, and owned up to being a hypocrite... but so what since he was wielding a sword of justice while doing so? He went on to claim that being tactful doesn't work and publicly attacking other forum members, regardless of circumstance, is the only way to communicate. Being someone who used to think similarly, I showed empathy (should've just let them be so that's my bad) which they took as an attack. They decided to punctuate their reply with what amounts to "no u," so I wasn't about to carry things any further.
At least I don't see much in the way of public dog piling here like we got at the old place, it's a step in the right direction.
That is a very broad definition to use as the bases of judging people in this thread. Are we sure "nerd" is the term to be used for people the OP is talking about?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism_of_small_differences
"The narcissism of small differences (German: der Narzissmus der kleinen Differenzen) is the thesis that communities with adjoining territories and close relationships are especially likely to engage in feuds and mutual ridicule because of hypersensitivity to details of differentiation.[1] The term was coined by Sigmund Freud in 1917, based on the earlier work of British anthropologist Ernest Crawley. In language differing only slightly from current psychoanalytic terminology, Crawley declared that each individual is separated from others by a taboo of personal isolation, a narcissism of minor differences."
"The narcissism of small differences (German: der Narzissmus der kleinen Differenzen) is the thesis that communities with adjoining territories and close relationships are especially likely to engage in feuds and mutual ridicule because of hypersensitivity to details of differentiation.[1] The term was coined by Sigmund Freud in 1917, based on the earlier work of British anthropologist Ernest Crawley. In language differing only slightly from current psychoanalytic terminology, Crawley declared that each individual is separated from others by a taboo of personal isolation, a narcissism of minor differences."
People want to feel superior.
It's gotten to the point where I've stopped following certain Twitter people who I️ agree with politically cuz all they do is argue online with shit heads. Even though I️ agree with them it still brings that toxicity into my free time which I️ don't want.
This place is better than the old boards, but it still happens. It's not really a nerd thing, just what people do on the internet for the most part. We're all guilty of it to a degree.
It's gotten to the point where I've stopped following certain Twitter people who I️ agree with politically cuz all they do is argue online with shit heads. Even though I️ agree with them it still brings that toxicity into my free time which I️ don't want.
This place is better than the old boards, but it still happens. It's not really a nerd thing, just what people do on the internet for the most part. We're all guilty of it to a degree.
There's a lot of people who think, "we were bullied because we liked XYZ, and now XYZ is popular, so it's time for everyone to get a dose of what we had to go through".
It's pretty dumb. They should be happy that the thing they like is healthy and popular instead of trying to gatekeep it.
I think a lot of it comes down to the anonymity involved with online interactions. Even when people are not anonymous the lack of familiarity with the individuals one is dealing with can have some negative effects.
People tend to be incredibly "rough" with others online. Especially when someone else holds a differing opinion.
I see a lot of interactions on here that make me think "you'd never say things like that or behave like that if you were face to face".
The same thing happens on movie forums or music or anything really. Discussions around sports & politics can be especially bad for low tolerance of even slightly different opinions.
It doesn't help if you have online communities where cliques start to form and a specific group of individuals will "gang up" on a opposing view and just keep posting on a thread until the opposition runs out of steam.
The sad thing is that although I think I am aware of it I find myself being drawn into it and tempted to reply to a poster in much stronger terms than is really necessary or appropriate.
Of course that's why so many communities online turn into echo chambers because honestly who wants the hassle of fighting off enemies all day? Unfortunately the creation of an echo chamber is followed by distrust of other members as one starts to look for "impostors" or uses the idea that another poster is secretly "one of those people" to win arguments.
I would guess it's just part of what makes us human. From the safety of not risking a punch in the face for being a dick to someone it's easy to just let yourself go and get really aggressive and disingenuous and just maybe even enjoy it a bit.
I am always amazed to see on various forums I have visited that oftentimes the angriest posters have the largest post counts. You would think they especially would be the leaders and the role models of these communities but it never really works out that way. They end up acting like biased referees or overly aggressive security guards.
People on the internet, especially in "nerd" communities, always seem driven by the desire to "win" and some will adopt a "win at all costs" attitude. Being anonymous or at least not closely linked to other members of the community means you never have to admit defeat or apologize or take responsibility (like we have to do in real life) and that just feeds into the idea that "I don't need to be nice to you, I just need to win the argument".
Try suggesting that people be civil and see what happens.
It's not at all unique to nerdy or liberal communities. All groups of people beyond a certain size will inevitably self-segregate, rank, and judge one another if not pushed to integrate and empathize by some inside or outside force. It's the same phenomenon as high school cliques, where once you have a group of friends, no matter how they are defined, you feel a need to defend them and protect the status quo even if that status quo is inherently unhealthy. The problem arises from people self-identifying in small, insular groups where eventually self definition by exclusion becomes a necessary part of maintaining the group's identity. As people invest more time and energy into the groups it becomes more important to defend and protect them as the group's identity and their one become more closely intertwined, which is why such groups don't become openly hostile until they have existed for some substantial period of time. In many ways it's made worse by the anonymity of the internet which reduces the opportunity for mutual empathy among participants and by heightening the sense of pouring one's self-worth into the group. Plus since it is largely an unregulated, unmoderated space, there are no adults, no principals or guidance counselors, who can stand by as known 3rd parties to oversee the interactions of these groups and take action to reduce their toxicity. If both groups cannot agree upon a mutually respected authority figure then it will be much harder for someone to come in and effectively speak to all participants and encourage a more respectful, productive civil discourse.
In short,
In short,