I found out through tests that I'm almost infertile, so that knocks my choice out pretty quick. Before that though I didn't want biological children cause I didn't want to pass on my genes, because they're not that great with the many physical and mental issues I've faced. I do plan on adopting children with my fiancé at some point though. There are so many children born that are not loved, at least I could take one or more and help them.
-
Ever wanted an RSS feed of all your favorite gaming news sites? Go check out our new Gaming Headlines feed! Read more about it here.
Why did you decide to have or not have kids?
- Thread starter Dorothy Gale
- Start date
To people saying kids are utterly expensive, they really don't until a certain age.
Diapers, food, baby/kid clothes, cheap toys don't cost a fortune.
If you're not in the best financial situation when they're young and up until pretty late you'll be fine.
Also, raising your kid to not ask for any toy he sees is possible, my kid don't bother for most of the toys, he plays with anything he can put his hand on.
Diapers, food, baby/kid clothes, cheap toys don't cost a fortune.
If you're not in the best financial situation when they're young and up until pretty late you'll be fine.
Also, raising your kid to not ask for any toy he sees is possible, my kid don't bother for most of the toys, he plays with anything he can put his hand on.
It's possible that I may have a (renunciate) vocation that I can't pursue alongside the responsibility of raising kids. For that reason it's really not something that I can approach until that question is resolved to my satisfaction.
And even if that weren't the case, the anxiety that I have about the future would probably still be enough for me to not have kids. It's true that we never know what kind of world we'll be leaving to future generations, but I think the uncertainty now is pretty significant.
And I have kind of a pedagogical personality, so if I had to choose, I think I'd rather make a contribution to the future through mentorship or something. Basically, just skip all the childhood development stuff, and focus on the knowledge and experience that I may already have and be willing to contribute to society.
So really it's quite a few reasons, though I suppose any number of them may change in the future.
And even if that weren't the case, the anxiety that I have about the future would probably still be enough for me to not have kids. It's true that we never know what kind of world we'll be leaving to future generations, but I think the uncertainty now is pretty significant.
And I have kind of a pedagogical personality, so if I had to choose, I think I'd rather make a contribution to the future through mentorship or something. Basically, just skip all the childhood development stuff, and focus on the knowledge and experience that I may already have and be willing to contribute to society.
So really it's quite a few reasons, though I suppose any number of them may change in the future.
Last edited:
I started having them for something to live, work, and strive for. I was bored with life and in a tight spot financially for a few years before I had them and I said why not? Everything has improved and I love those lil children. The only negatives are the usual pains of parenting.
Personally, I'd like your threads to continue for another generation. Please reconsider :)
Not having children.
Life can be so hard, and this world is too fucked up...
It would be irresponsible to make someone else go through all this.
Life can be so hard, and this world is too fucked up...
It would be irresponsible to make someone else go through all this.
Not sure what made me change my mind, exactly, but at ~28 I came around to the idea of having kids and decided that that's what I wanted. I was pretty anti-kid prior to that. I think finally being happy with myself, my progress, and general life made me really think about it. My boyfriend didn't feel the same, though, and was staunchly anti-kids, so I ended the relationship and moved on. Now I'm married and recently had my second kid. Debating on a third.
So why? It's kind of the ultimate human experience and I wanted to experience it, I guess. My genes aren't anything special, but I think I have something to offer as a parent, and raising them has been a real trip. Pretty amazing, all in all.
So why? It's kind of the ultimate human experience and I wanted to experience it, I guess. My genes aren't anything special, but I think I have something to offer as a parent, and raising them has been a real trip. Pretty amazing, all in all.
Only child that as I got older felt they were missing that element of protecting and watching out for someone. Wanting to teach someone who literally knows nothing everything that's amazing and wonderful with the world and watch them grow and hear their own interpretations on things that are now so embedded and plain in life. See their reaction to seeing/tasting/doing things for the first time ever. Obviously the romanticised version, and I know it comes with a lot of trying times but the question was why I want them and the aforementioned is what I'm looking forward to.
I was in a 7 year relationship from the age of 16 so got to the stage where I was comfortable with the thought of settling down and having children. That ended but those feelings didn't go away.
Have now been in a 4.5 year relationship that's incredible and going to bring the ring out at the end of this year. So I really am quite ready to have children and start that chapter of life, albeit after a couple of years of married life.
I was in a 7 year relationship from the age of 16 so got to the stage where I was comfortable with the thought of settling down and having children. That ended but those feelings didn't go away.
Have now been in a 4.5 year relationship that's incredible and going to bring the ring out at the end of this year. So I really am quite ready to have children and start that chapter of life, albeit after a couple of years of married life.
Neither of my kids were planned but I wouldn't give them up for anything. They're my life now and I think that's a hugely positive thing.
Couple of reasons why I don't want them:
- they irritate me
- they cost a fuckton...
- ...and I don't like the idea of putting them in daycare / or one parent staying at home resulting in a huge paycut
- I was a shithead and have no idea how my parents did it
- I already have three animals and their well being makes me way too anxious
- the idea of my four year old child asking me for an iPad
- I don't want to get married
- they irritate me
- they cost a fuckton...
- ...and I don't like the idea of putting them in daycare / or one parent staying at home resulting in a huge paycut
- I was a shithead and have no idea how my parents did it
- I already have three animals and their well being makes me way too anxious
- the idea of my four year old child asking me for an iPad
- I don't want to get married
I knew I didn't want kids since I was an early teen, I'm already in the age in which people stopped with the "you will change your mind someday" so they believe me haha, I enjoy the freedom too much.
You only live once, I want to do whatever I want with my life.
My partner and I are childfree and it's pretty sweet to have all the time in the world for each other, and even then it's not enough.
Also, it's stupid how expensive life is already and that's without factoring children.
You only live once, I want to do whatever I want with my life.
My partner and I are childfree and it's pretty sweet to have all the time in the world for each other, and even then it's not enough.
Also, it's stupid how expensive life is already and that's without factoring children.
Last edited:
My wife and I have been discussing this a lot recently. We are 25 and we just bought a house. We will be mortgage and debt free by 29 at which point we are going to be able to do absolutely anything we like, money will be no object. But if we have kids we feel like that is going to be taken from us. We might have them later but whenever we think about it and the money, loss of freedom etc involved it just seems like a really sucky way to live.
I got two cats already, they are much better than kids.
Also lol if you willingly bring new life on this planet that is going to be fucked hard by climate change. You must really hate them to do that to them.
Also lol if you willingly bring new life on this planet that is going to be fucked hard by climate change. You must really hate them to do that to them.
First kid was a mistake. Pull out game was weak. I love my son to death but at the time I wasnt ready to have a kid.
Second kid however. This one was actually planned with my wife. And its a girl!
I didnt want my life to end knowing I wouldnt have a successor so to speak. Ive always wanted kids.
Second kid however. This one was actually planned with my wife. And its a girl!
I didnt want my life to end knowing I wouldnt have a successor so to speak. Ive always wanted kids.
In about 21 hours from now my wife and I will be heading in to the hospital for her to get induced. It's our first child and I'm pretty damn excited, and slightly terrified.
We've wanted a child for quite some time now. We are in a decent financial situation for it, we own two cars and have a relatively small mortgage.
I'm looking forward to meeting my son. I can't wait to read stories to him, introduce him to my cat and dog and eventually teach him to play video games. Hopefully everything goes smoothly tomorrow.
Wish me luck Era!
We've wanted a child for quite some time now. We are in a decent financial situation for it, we own two cars and have a relatively small mortgage.
I'm looking forward to meeting my son. I can't wait to read stories to him, introduce him to my cat and dog and eventually teach him to play video games. Hopefully everything goes smoothly tomorrow.
Wish me luck Era!
Great post. This is basically me too. Seeing kids or connecting with your relatives' children etc is nothing like having your own. And yes you get less time to yourself, but the payback is almost unquantifiable.
Sorry for your losses, honest. I lost one, too, but I can't even imagine what you've been through. My condolences.
Good luck, eZipsis! Welcome to the club!
I have two cats and like money too. Kids have not been the destroyer of lives (thus far) as so many seem to think.
Yeah. It can't really be conveyed, and I don't try to sell people on it. All I can say is that ultimately it's been unreal (to me) rewarding overall. Definitely insane and hard sometimes, but worth it.
As with 95% of the population of planet earth, our first child was a "surprise". By this time we were "in for a penny, in for a pound" and had a second child. Now I've had the snip. Call me rawdog.
Such a weird outlook. So everyone should just stop having kids and let our generation be the last?
Its something you never get over and drove me to attempting suicide. I suppose you could say its actually 4 kids i lost. An ex of mine had an abortion but didnt even let me know even though we were together 2 years.
Yeah, not had a happy life really.
My heart goes out to you, man.
No kids for me for Several reasons.
- Had a rough childhood in which my brother and I were victim of many fucked up circumstances and I don't want my kid(s) to go through the same/similar stuff.
- The world is not a place where I'd want my kid to grow up in.
- This is really selfish but I want to live for myself 100%. Impossible if you have kids. I'd be unhappy and as a result my kids would be too.
- Im almost 31 and I've had one serious relationship in my early twenties. I just seem incapable of maintaining a healthy romance let alone something more serious.
My wife and I both came from big families (three siblings for me, five for her), and honestly the first time it came up (after we had been together for 6 months, maybe?) We both agreed without hesitation that if we stay together and get married, we should have four kids.
We are now married and have one daughter, planning to go for the second at the start of the new year, probably.
We are now married and have one daughter, planning to go for the second at the start of the new year, probably.
I decided to have kids because I love my wife and she really wanted them. I wanted them too, don't get me wrong, but I probably started sooner than I would have liked at the time (25 years old) - I look back on this as a blessing given the energy levels required! We now have an almost 5 year old boy, an almost 3 year old boy and another expected in September (a girl this time, our last baby - please god).
I won't lie, it is SERIOUSLY hard work some times. I considered myself a patient person before I had kids - I had NO idea. They're extremely tiring physically and mentally.
BUT....
they're also, without question, the best things ever and I don't regret any of it. They are consistently hilarious and beautiful and some of the stuff they come out with is just magic. You can have had just the worst day imaginable but let me tell you when you come home from work and you open the front door and all you hear is "DADDDYYYY" and them running through to see you - it just goes.
So in short, they're super tiring, VERY hard from a relationship with your partner standpoint, like it'll straight up break your relationship if you're not careful - but god are they rewarding. The rewards definitely outweigh the challenges.
I won't lie, it is SERIOUSLY hard work some times. I considered myself a patient person before I had kids - I had NO idea. They're extremely tiring physically and mentally.
BUT....
they're also, without question, the best things ever and I don't regret any of it. They are consistently hilarious and beautiful and some of the stuff they come out with is just magic. You can have had just the worst day imaginable but let me tell you when you come home from work and you open the front door and all you hear is "DADDDYYYY" and them running through to see you - it just goes.
So in short, they're super tiring, VERY hard from a relationship with your partner standpoint, like it'll straight up break your relationship if you're not careful - but god are they rewarding. The rewards definitely outweigh the challenges.
Ha, pretty much the same for me.
I wanted kids, but never in a particularly powerful urge way. If my wife hadn't wanted kids then I'd probably have gone along with that instead and presumably been happy.
But I'm so glad we had them, I've got two and it's impossible to explain why they're so awesome. It's such a dismal cliche but if you don't have your own you simply can't understand. If you've never taken a tiny baby home from the hospital and been confronted with the reality of having to care for it 24/7 you just can't fathom what that feels like, how it changes you emotionally.
It's tough having kids, you have to give up time and money and sleep but they pay you back in ways you can't imagine before you have them. They get you right in the feels and it's hard to rationalise/quantify how or why it's so rewarding. I found everything is more entertaining with kids because they're so enthusiastic about everything, even dull stuff like a trip to the shops.
They drive you bonkers sometimes and they make you worry and they cost money and you can't necessarily do all the things you used to do whenever you like, but it's somehow all worth it. My life was fun before kids, i enjoyed being single and doing what I wamted. And it's fun now but different, somehow richer and more fulfilling.
To confirm though, if you think kids are disgusting....you're right, they are. But here's the thing though, your own kids aren't. I find other people's children revolting generally, bit mine can be doing the same stuff and I'll be going 'Dawwwww'.
Graduation, dating, buying a house, getting married. None of those is anywhere close to the before and after of having a kid. It's the one thing that truly changes your life forever.
My son is almost two now. Yes, your life changes drastically, and it can be a nightmare sometimes. But there's no better feeling in the world that the pure love and joy a child brings. I can't even put into words how much I love my son.
My son is almost two now. Yes, your life changes drastically, and it can be a nightmare sometimes. But there's no better feeling in the world that the pure love and joy a child brings. I can't even put into words how much I love my son.
I met the right person.
We struggled to have kids for quite a while. I realize we ended up having 3 cats as a partial replacement.
Life just seemed hollow without kids. And as shitty as my childhood was I am determined that my kid have a better one.
I am not passing on that shit.
We struggled to have kids for quite a while. I realize we ended up having 3 cats as a partial replacement.
Life just seemed hollow without kids. And as shitty as my childhood was I am determined that my kid have a better one.
I am not passing on that shit.
I have schizophrenia and a heart condition,my wife has bipolar.My family is riddled with schizophrenia/schizho affective disorder.....That was enough for both of us to say..nope...not gonna happen
Basically I achieved all my goals in life and completed my "bucket list". I wasn't going to coast for another 45 years living off of E3 hype and other materialistic pursuits so I decided to look in to other elements of the human experience. I've started doing a lot of charity work as well.
Like most worthwhile things in life raising kids is hard work. Yet they are amazing and I can't imagine life without them.
Good luck.
Good luck.
I didn't think I would have any kids but my wife was dead set. Sure our finances are rough and we don't have nearly the amount of time we used to. But our children are wonderful and some of the best feelings I have ever felt are associated with them. I've never been more motivated than I am now.
Before my son I was pretty much a burnout. Decent amount of college credit and debt racked up with nothing to show for it. Eventually a slew of really bad grades due to negligence led to me dropping out. Had a great job with good pay and benefits despite no degree so I resigned myself to doing just that until I was laid off...now I'm back in school with the first A I've had in years. So yeah...the wife and kids are incredibly motivating and this is turning out to be the best decision in my life
Can't tell if serious
Before my son I was pretty much a burnout. Decent amount of college credit and debt racked up with nothing to show for it. Eventually a slew of really bad grades due to negligence led to me dropping out. Had a great job with good pay and benefits despite no degree so I resigned myself to doing just that until I was laid off...now I'm back in school with the first A I've had in years. So yeah...the wife and kids are incredibly motivating and this is turning out to be the best decision in my life
Can't tell if serious
Last edited:
I chose not to have kids because I'm a very selfish and self-centered misanthrope. I don't want the responsibility, since my SO and I can only barely handle taking care of ourselves. Our two cats are plenty.
Plus, I like my isolation. If I had kids, I'm sure people they'd be related to would want to see them.
And also, the world is garbage.
Plus, I like my isolation. If I had kids, I'm sure people they'd be related to would want to see them.
And also, the world is garbage.
This mainly.
- I feel you
- Again, I feel you
- But you'd be rid of the irritation for a while, does increase cost again though (have you considered living in a socialist hellhole?)
- I was nice, I think...
- I'm fine with one cat, fuck dogs, annoying clingy (and smelly) pests.
- Say: "No."
- I do not see how that is a requirement for having children.
I always wanted kids. Then I got married and had them.
Feels like a pretty good choice overall. I've got no problems with anyone who doesn't want kids though. Since becoming a parent, I'm very much in the camp that no one who doesn't really want kids should ever have them.
Feels like a pretty good choice overall. I've got no problems with anyone who doesn't want kids though. Since becoming a parent, I'm very much in the camp that no one who doesn't really want kids should ever have them.
Don't feel the need to have children. The way the world is, based on mine and my partners income we can live comfortably without children. Plus, we both decided we don't want them anyway.
Do you want to live forever? Do you think someone is so awesome that the world would be a better place with more of them in it? There's two reasons to have kids.
Let alone all the love and happiness that sharing the world with the best part of you and your partner can bring.
Let alone all the love and happiness that sharing the world with the best part of you and your partner can bring.