How much "looks" on your date/partner matters?

Doesn't everyone care about looks? You might not require someone that most people would find beautiful but I don't think people can date someone they personally don't find attractive.

DFG said:

They do. But everyone has different level of standards. It's interesting when you hear someone talks exclusively going for one type of skin colour

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Well looks are subjective but even still I don't know how to gauge the "level" of stands or find the "point" you mention in the OP. You need some kind of scale.

I guess my personal look preference is between "attractive" and "demogoblin"

Matters a lot. I want an active / fit person to be with.

Not a lot really. As long as they aren't super duper deformed I'm good. I like a wide range of looks and find myself attracted to people who some would deem ugly. Total cliche but personality does go a long way. Some average looking people can be really attractive to me if we vibe well.

It was the most important thing early on to me as that's what attracted me to the person in the first place. Over time when there true personality comes through that's when I decided it it was a long term thing or a fling.

People who look like spooky creatures.

Healthy and in shape > traditional beauty aesthetics.

Also the way a person animates is much more important to me than how they appear in a photo.

A teeny bit but honestly? not much. Typically I've found if a person has a wonderful personality and we're a good fit, if their appearance isn't what I'm accustomed to I usually end up warming up to them eventually. Somehow everyone I've dated has ended up looking a million times better than me though and everytime I really have no clue how I lucked out, makes me feel like a con artist sometimes lol.

Also I don't think the things I typically find attractive or beautiful really match with pop culture.

Pretty much not at all. The people I've dated have varied wildly in terms of looks. I find the more I like someone's personality the more I find them attractive.

A lot. But I can easily be swayed after spending time together. She can't look too good though. Swimmin' in 7s.

It matters, I couldn't be with someone I'm not at all physically attracted to.

But it's not everything. A really good/compatible personality goes a long way. Just like a shit demeanor will be an immediate disqualifier, no matter the looks.

I only care about them being healthy, aside of that I'm kinda whatever.

Depends. If I've known them awhile and I've become endeared to their personality and behavior, then it doesn't matter all that much. If it's someone you've just met, then looks are almost all you have to go on, right? Thankfully I have a pretty wide variety of types.

If she ain't a perfect waifu, I don't want her in my laifu

/s

I like my partners to be more attractive than my 2D waifus and husbandos. Usually, that isn't a very high bar to clear.

Pretty important tbh. I doubt I have ever been with anyone I didn't find attractive and certainly wouldn't still be in a relationship with someone if I stopped finding them attractive.

i just look for a cute face (in my standards of course, since it's subjective)! I don't mind if they're overweight as long as they still have a human shape... if you know what i mean

I tried once dating someone i didn't find attractive, thinking i could get past it (i was also desperate)!
It went horribly wrong and it was really bad for her too cause she could see i wasn't attracted to her, i felt awful for that

subpar spatula said:

Matters a lot. I want an active / fit person to be with.

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Honestly fitness is more important than beauty itself.

It would be so depressing to date someone who got winded from a flight of stairs or didn't care enough about their own health to ever workout.

Not to mention how limiting that would be in the bedroom and hobbies.

Luchashaq said:

Honestly fitness is more important than beauty itself.

It would be so depressing to date someone who got winded from a flight of stairs or didn't care enough about their own health to ever workout.

Not to mention how limiting that would be in the bedroom and hobbies.

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My GF and me solve that problem by just both being overweight and unfit.

Very important. I couldn't date an overweight person.

I prefer trippledouble.

Pretty. Smart and funny.

Well I'm not dating the swamp thing with teets no matter how great her personality is, but I've certainly dated a very wide range of attractiveness and body type.

A lot. She gorgeous. But what makes her gorgeous is a combination between her personality and her physique. They are intertwined to some sort of heavenly avatar of her. It's probably not very objective, haha.
I doubt i can look at her and not find her gorgeous. I've known her for so long now. The worst case scenario is a complete personality change.

Pretty sure for everyone the answer is: a lot.

I mean, think about it. You're not going to want to have sexual relations with someone you don't find attractive, right?

Very important, you need to be attracted to your partner.

I also have 2 non negotiable rules:

1. No big gums
2. No fat chicks

I put a decent effort into staying fit, so I expect my partner to either be similarly athletic or at least not be overweight. Sadly the North American obesity epidemic also applies to the millenial dating pool.

I guess on some level it's superficial, but I think it would take extraordinary circumstances for me to date a fat person.

As long as they're fit I'm good.

About 40%. Look is what attracts me but if she sounds like a spoiled little princess after a few conversations then it's over.

subpar spatula said:

Matters a lot. I want an active / fit person to be with.

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Sorry for being off topic, but are you the guy in Quora with the hot wife? Your pic reminded me of him

On topic, yes it matters alot, lets face it people are less tend to see inner beauty nowadays

Looks matter but are subjective, most people will date someone who they are physically attracted to even if what they look for in somebody isn't universal. People usually find their partner attractive regardless of what the average opinion would be.

I think they're important to that initial contact and getting to know each other but I've known people who I found to be more attractive the more I've got to know them and vice versa so it isn't everything.

Smile that makes your heart skip a beat and not overweight.

Really depends. At the bare minimum I'm looking for someone in good health and who takes care of themselves.
Extreme thinness and fatness are a no.
People who don't shower are a no.
People who harm themselves are one hell of a no (my definition of self-harm includes self-scarification, smoking, recurrent alcohol consumption without moderation ie. Alcoholism, drug usage, suicidal tendencies).

don't think i could ever date someone i wasn't attracted to

beauty =/= attractiveness of course, when talking purely about looks. but i have a wide pool of what i find attractive

so looks play a role, but i like so many different looks that it doesn't matter to some extent. but really, if you just look okay and you're clean and carry yourself well then that's more than fine for me. personality counts more

Definitely important. I need to be attracted to the person if I'm going to want to have sex with them. Personality is important too but if there's no attraction then that's a friend.

Beauty is something that I struggle with, because I only know that youthful beauty will only last for so long. It's important to me, but genuine human connection and humor is just as important. I want someone who is fun and easy to be around.

Looks are super important. They're the foundation for which everything else builds off. Me and my fiance both had the hots for each other like crazy when younger. Sure after a decade together there's so much more there than just that, but we can still spontaneously decide to tear each others clothes off.

In my opinion a healthy and active sex life that doesn't drop off over time is an extremely important part of a relationship. When things like that start to drop off resentment can grow. And all of this comes down to looks. It's not everything sure, but it's a huge part of where everything starts.

Zombine said:

Beauty is something that I struggle with, because I only know that youthful beauty will only last for so long. It's important to me, but genuine human connection and humor is just as important. I want someone who is fun and easy to be around.

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This guy gets it. It's about it all being in one package and not having to pick and choose what you think will work for you long term.

I think a better question would be "on your PERSONAL scale, how much looks on your partner matters"... ie. how much physical attraction is important for your relationships.

I wouldn't date someone who was overweight again, I previously lost about 80KG then got into a 3 year relationship where eating out and snacking and just bad relationships with food flared up again and I put back on 31KG or so, since breaking up in January I've lost 29KG of that again.

So my next relationship will definitely have to be with someone who cares about health and fitness and has eating habits that are closer to my own.

Hmmm...I do appreciate a pretty face, but being fit and having drive/personality is way more of an attractive 'feature' to me. Even going just purely by face, I like a good scar or broken nose.

Kitsunebaby said:

Depends. If I've known them awhile and I've become endeared to their personality and behavior, then it doesn't matter all that much. If it's someone you've just met, then looks are almost all you have to go on, right? Thankfully I have a pretty wide variety of types.

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Pretty much this too.

95% at least

I'd say a healthy ratio of what you're looking for in a partner is 40% looks, 30% chemistry, 30% personality

Less and less as I grow older and meet more people. I was quite picky at one point (which is kinda sad since back then I wasn't really in any position to be picky).

Definitely matters. I wouldn't date someone who is obese. They don't have to look like a professional female bodybuilder or anything (I'm sure as hell not a male bodybuilder), but there has to be at least some effort.

I can't separate personality and how one carries oneself from looks. Granted my current partner is about as fit as one can be (healthy fit, not huge muscles).. anyways, I find him irresistible, although for some reason, men/women don't flock to him. Maybe because he has cauliflower ears and a busted nose from mma. Idk. He's an 11 for me but tells me I'm the first to think so. So I guess attraction is key as opposed to traditional good looks.

I can't be with someone romantically unless there is an attraction, how is this a even a question?

Otherwise they'd just be a friend

Pretty high. Looks reflect a person's self care. There are some fundamental things that can't be changed, and that's when an interesting personality can turn the tide.

It matters to me and it makes me feel bad. I'm not even great looking myself so it makes me a hypocrite of sorts

Fitness/health does go a long way, though.

Breaking it down in percentages like some here do completely mispresents how I choose a partner so let's put it this way - my tolerance for lesser physical attractiveness is way higher than my tolerance for a lesser personality.