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How do I learn to say no to the things that the people around me offer me?

gcwy

gcwy

Member
Oct 27, 2017
8,685
Houston, TX
I don't drink or smoke or do drugs... unless my friends offer me. I mean, I enjoy them while they last but I've rarely went out of my way to do any of this stuff or felt the need to buy these out of my own pocket, especially for cigarettes. Unfortunately, most of my friends are heavy drinkers, smokers/vapers and/or do drugs. It's really hard for me to deny something because I just can't bring myself to refuse stuff that they want me to take, it just doesn't sit right with me. It's especially bad when my own employer is a smoker and offers me a cigarette or two a day and my whole mouth smells of cigarettes the entire day. I'm starting to develop a tolerance for it which is really bad. Do people around you offer you things and do you find it hard to outright say no to their faces?
 
Akira86

Akira86

Member
Oct 25, 2017
19,589
"nah, I'm good."


say no in such a way as to not leave them with a lot to think about, such as why you're saying no, or if there is any judgement involved.
 
Baked Pigeon

Baked Pigeon

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
7,087
Phoenix
Hang out in a barber shop long enough, and your going to get a haircut.

The answer is simple, do not be around those influences if you know that you have a difficult time saying no.
 
Last edited:
Fat4all

Fat4all

Woke up, got a money tag, swears a lot
Member
Oct 25, 2017
92,869
here
gcwy said:
Yes, especially my employer. He loves smoking a pack a day and we're starting to get along real well. He also gave me a raise recently.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
join him when he goes to smoke or whatever you do, and if he offers you one say "I'm trying to cut back a bit" or sommit, but stick around to chat or whatnot
 
Robin

Robin

Restless Insomniac
Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,502
Still figuring this one out myself as I currently have quit smoking, which usually I don't have a problem doing until I hit a party and I find myself on the stoop drunk with friends chainsmoking. I have no clue why you wouldn't just say no if you aren't a smoker and don't like smoking though.
 
ishan

ishan

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
2,192
Just no thanks . If it's more formal no thanks appreciate the offer/sentiment
 
TheFireman

TheFireman

Banned
Dec 22, 2017
3,918
Like just say no and learn your limits. People won't dislike you for saying no. Hell, they'll be happy to save some money.
 
Immortan

Immortan

Member
Oct 26, 2017
2,457
Los Angeles
you actually accept death sticks willingly? damn man, time to really learn to say no in a big bad way.

When they go want one? just go....No.....They will not hate you.
 
Eye for an Eye

Eye for an Eye

Member
Nov 23, 2017
868
Say no enough times and they won't bother.

What's funny, is that most smokers will bitch about people always bumming cigarettes off of them, but most the time it's because they offer it. Join them for the conversation, but you don't have to join in the activity.
 

Deleted member 41271

User requested account closure
Banned
Mar 21, 2018
2,258
Just say no, it's that simple.

Mind, some of us learn that accepting drinks/other stuff from guys is a bad idea way early, but even if you don't, you can always start. Just say it nicely. If they get angry, they weren't worth it. Nobody that objects to "No thanks" is worth it.
 
Vex

Vex

Member
Oct 25, 2017
22,213
The answer to all of life's awkward situations is to make them even more awks.

In this scenario, what you wanna do is right when they ask you and you start to feel anxious, all you gotta do is start repeating what they say to you. So if he asks "want X thing?" You say "HUH, WAH! YOU WANT X THING" in a very loud and condescending manner. Now you're in there.

So now he is probably gonna ask you "what? What are you doing?" This part is important. You want to catch him mid sentence with a " HUH WHAT?". To add to this, make weird head movements as you say it as to put emphasis on each syllable. I sometimes add in a little heavy breathing during downtime. Make it very nasally.

He will eventually understand if you follow these steps. If this works be sure to credit me.

No but really op, are you afraid of messing up like this or something? Giving a friendly "nah I'm good" doesnt look so bad now in comparison does it?
 
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Adam_Roman

Adam_Roman

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,068
Say "smokers are jokers!" and tell the nearest teacher or parent.

For real, just say no thanks or I'm good. 9 times out of 10 they'll be cool about it.
 
Stop It

Stop It

Bad Cat
Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,352
Throughout college and beyond my circle of friends smoked various things. As did my parents.

They (my friends, not parents) offered them to me out of common courtesy but they knew and respected that I didn't want to partake.

Nobody will respect you less for saying no. And you can always take smoke breaks with your boss without smoking. Most of the time smoke breaks are social time rather than just smoking anyway.
 
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