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Male friends vs. Female friends

AnansiThePersona

AnansiThePersona

Started a revolution but the mic was unplugged
Member
Oct 27, 2017
15,682
Knowing this site's issues with women and misogyny I'm trying to avoid having those issues come up, but I think interesting convo can be had about this. When we was younger (like...elementary school) I assume we all tended to stay within groups divided by boys and girls. This is most likely due to expectations pushed upon boys at a young age that girls are gross and bad and we shouldn't like them for reasons. Dunno if girls grew up with that too, but I wanna say probably.

Middle school was the period that we were probably starting to grow out of that tribalism, but it still remained quite prevalent. It was common for me to get called "gay" or the f-word for just existing. I wasn't gay, but me simply being less masculine or more so less defined by my masculinity made me ostracized among other guys.

In high school, and now even in college I don't really even like being friends with dudes anymore, or rather I prefer being friends with women instead. They tend to be more empathetic (there was a thread about that a few days ago, wasn't there?) and there really isn't an expectation to exert your masculinity around them. When I did have dude friends in college, they were, more often than not, cool one-on-one, but in a group it basically devolved into me being disrespected for not being/doing what was expected of me as a guy.

How would you compare having male friends vs. having female friends? Which do you prefer? Are there differences? And if you believe there are differences, then how do you believe they manifest?
 
Benzychenz

Benzychenz

One Winged Slayer
Member
Nov 1, 2017
15,414
Australia
I feel exactly the same way as you OP.

I find girls so much easier to get along with, and the majority of my good friends are women.
Guys are great one on one, but suck as a group.
 
z0m3le

z0m3le

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,418
It sounds like you had really terrible guy friends. The majority of my friends are female, but I also have about a dozen really close guy friends. I treat people as individuals though, so I have unique, personal relationships with each friend, and the individual makes it different. In groups, we all respect each other, and we tend to keep our friendships much the same, our interactions multiply, but they don't change how we interact with each other. Though all of my friends, I've known for a decade or more now, many come from middle school even. There is a difference overall between men and women friends that I have, but that is mostly about the interests that the individual friends have, and it's not without exceptions, I have a few male friends that are straight and interested in the same things that the majority of my female friends are interested in, the same can be said about a few of my female friends.

My only theory about what might be going on with your male friends is either they are just not decent people (they don't respect you when they are together) or you haven't really opened up to them and so they don't know that they are hurting your feelings when they say something in jest.

EDIT: I actually might be the cause of the harmony in my group of friends, I'm usually the host of get togethers, and I try really hard to make sure everyone is having a good time. I like complementing people and introducing people to one another. It might also just be luck.
 
Staf

Staf

Member
Nov 7, 2017
3,781
Gothenburg, Sweden
I have both. I like both. Have a few more female friends. I do enjoy my time more with my female friends. Primarily due to them being more outgoing, direct and likes to hang in the gym with me. I've noticed the last couple of years that the guy friends have become more boring, sitting at home watching a game or playing VG for the most part. They use to be a lot more active, going drinking, watching a game at the bar/arena, sporting etc. Might be an age thing as well though, because my guy friends use to be a lot more active.
 

Deleted member 31817

Nov 7, 2017
30,876
I had one female friend in high school and the rest were male.

Now I have like 2 male friends and the rest are female lol.
 
entremet

entremet

You wouldn't toast a NES cartridge
Member
Oct 26, 2017
60,675
I don't prefer any since everyone is so different. At this stage of my life it's mostly male friends. But I have no preference. There is something special about male camaraderie, tho. At least for me.
 
OP
OP
AnansiThePersona

AnansiThePersona

Started a revolution but the mic was unplugged
Member
Oct 27, 2017
15,682
entremet said:
I don't prefer any since everyone is so different. At this stage of my life it's mostly male friends. But I have no preference. There is something special about male camaraderie, tho. At least for me.
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That male camaraderie thing is something I would be all about but my male friends have been too inconsistent for that. Dunno a guy I could even trust like that... I did once have a good male friend tho but we drifted apart.
 
Gargantua

Gargantua

Banned
May 8, 2018
228
At elementary school I hated girls and had some hard times befriending guys

At high-school I started having very good friendship with men, and started softly liking women

At 30 I grew up some very good male friendships while failing with women in every possible way

Nowadays I deeply love my girlfriend and she does the same, I'm generally liked by other women and I still have some very good male friendships

Bottom line: I was able to grow and be a better man overall even if I had a VERY ROUGH start
Thanks to all men and women that helped and supported me in my lifetime
 
SliceSabre

SliceSabre

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,556
Guy here.

I have had both in the past but the ones who always were my most true blue friends and the ones I knew I could depend on and would depend on me were my guy friends. Maybe a lot of that had to do with our interests very tightly matched up with each other so we always had shit to talk about with each other. I would be lying if I said I didn't prefer my guy friends because I always felt like any subject was on the table especially sex related and I always felt at ease with them whereas with the girls I was friends with we never even got close to that subject and I always felt more guarded and was more careful about what I was willing to talk about. If they talked about sex related stuff I quickly changed the subject.
 
Subpar Scrub

Subpar Scrub

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
3,576
I prefer having girls as friends, because I'm a gossipy person sometimes lol. They're also more fun to party with. Admittedly, it's also nice having guy friends as it's easier finding dudes who wanna play video games and dorky games than girls in my area.

In high school, girls made up about 70% of my close friends. Now, they make up like 20%. It's a shame, but it happens. A few moved away, a few got into relationships with overprotective guys.
 
Snake Eater

Snake Eater

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
11,385
I prefer to be around women, only keep very few guy friends
 

D65

Member
Oct 26, 2017
6,862
I've always preferred female friends and I've been in different male groups throughout my life. Recently I've made a bunch of male friends though.

I think it just depends on the person you meet and how you feel about yourself. And honestly, culture has a lot of do with it too.
 
thesoapster

thesoapster

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,919
MD, USA
I seem to find that women are often better friends. Better at being sociable, better at hanging out. Most of my friends who are men cannot talk about anything that is not superficial, stupid, work-related, etc. The men are mostly made up of co-workers, as outside of work every guy seems to kind of fend for himself in a sense. Meaning they latch onto their S/O for social connection, etc. They're just that bad/uncomfortable with it. Being the single guy among guy friends who rely on their wives/girlfriends to do shit basically leaves me in the position I've described.
 
jph139

jph139

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,448
Most of my friends are women. The only men I've ever really gotten along with were other guys whose friends were mostly women - I never really kept up with them, though, unfortunately.

It might just be the circles I run in (young adult men with niche/nerdy hobbies), but dudes are just generally awful to be around. Like, I met a friend's boyfriend at a party recently and was shocked that he was just a decent, smart, friendly dude - I very rarely meet men that I find likable AND share interests with.
 
Vincent Grayson

Vincent Grayson

Member
Oct 27, 2017
5,902
Mount Airy, MD
I've always been more drawn to women, both for platonic friendships and everything else. I met my best friend (a woman) on the first day of middle school, and we've been in each other's lives for 25 years now. My closest friends are all women, though I do have a few close male friends too.

I don't necessarily dislike men, but I do find that on average, they're far less likely to mesh with me easily upon first meeting. The male friends I have largely came through other women in my life, with only a few exceptions.
 
Beartruck

Beartruck

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
4,939
Couple women friends through high school and college, but they moved and we've lost touch. That kinda goes for most of my college friends though, not just women.
 
Thunder

Thunder

Alt-Account
Banned
Jan 11, 2018
314
More than half of my friends are women my partner hates it but oh well they are good company.
 
NHarmonic.

NHarmonic.

â–˛ Legend â–˛
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
10,298
Starting college i had a couple of male friends and a large group of female ones. Sad part is i recieved such an amount of gratuitous, toxic shit from the latter that i just cut ties or never trusted them anymore. Still got a couple of female friends from outside uni or from other groups there.

I'm a man, btw.
 
amanset

amanset

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,577
I'm a heterosexual male and most of the people I hang out with are women.

I have no idea how this happened.
 
Yopis

Yopis

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
1,767
East Coast
Had both currently and in the past. Both sides have, and do consider me, a best friend.

Just depends, I think both sides have great things to offer. Women are great source of helping me see things in different light. Also it's cool when the trust reaches such a high level. After a point they just talk to you like another girl.

With guy friends you don't need to talk as much. We grew up together just like the girls. They care just as much but this is expressed in a different way .


For randoms get along with both. But I find it's easier to make friends with girls. For record I am a straight male. Grew up with mother after father passed during early childhood.

Just seems easier to chat with women sometimes. Think it's an extension of upbringing . My guy friends when all together have great bond though. Would not trade either.
 

Deleted member 14900

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
521
I don't mind if anyone prefers a gender as friends or not and even find it endearing, but honestly, I do side eye a little when they themselves bring it up a lot. Just have your friends that you want or just naturally have for whatever reason. It's no big deal. Same for women with men. As long as there isn't the "ugh women are catty bitches, I prefer men" type of thing. Internalized misogyny is just as frustrating to deal with.
 
BigWinnie1

BigWinnie1

Banned
Feb 19, 2018
2,757
SliceSabre said:
Guy here.

I have had both in the past but the ones who always were my most true blue friends and the ones I knew I could depend on and would depend on me were my guy friends. Maybe a lot of that had to do with our interests very tightly matched up with each other so we always had shit to talk about with each other. I would be lying if I said I didn't prefer my guy friends because I always felt like any subject was on the table especially sex related and I always felt at ease with them whereas with the girls I was friends with we never even got close to that subject and I always felt more guarded and was more careful about what I was willing to talk about. If they talked about sex related stuff I quickly changed the subject.
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Yeah the same. With my guy friends we can talk about damn near anything and it will never get out to other people but With my women friends, I don't feel at ease to just be open with stuff around them. Especially sex stuff, Man being a with my women friends talking about sex is just a fucking time bomb really, cause they are going to say some off the wall shit If I let a bit out about how I get down.

Also doesn't help that women friends get more handsy when I begin to date someone or begin to show interest in a women. It feels like they get way more touchy and its really disconcerting when that happens because they really don't understand boundaries.
 
Wackamole

Wackamole

Member
Oct 27, 2017
16,970
Whatever works for you man. I get along with fine both (depending on the person of course). I also have issues with overly testosterone driven i'm-the-king-of-the-world idiots and i avoid them like the plague. I want openminded rational kind people around me.
 
dyst

dyst

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
1,461
I am a male human, or in better terms for this discussion a man. Yes there are differences, not just between the genders but also within the genders. One is not better or worse than the other from my experience.
 
Conor419

Conor419

Banned
Nov 26, 2017
2,320
London
When I was growing up, I was mainly friends with guys. Although I have kept a lot of my male friends, most of the close friends I've made since age 18 are women: I'd say I spend most of my time with girls.

As to why? I've noticed that friendships with girls tend to run much deeper — they're more emotionally intelligent, and tend to want to talk about more serious things.
 
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Clix

Clix

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
1,479
Your best brewery and burger shop
Not sure how it happened, but after college, pretty much almost every single one of my friends except a couple, ended up being girls, including my best friend who ended up being "best man" at my wedding.
 

Deleted member 12833

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
10,078
I tend to maintain guy friends longer. Once a lot of my female friends got married or had a kid it was the end for us.
 

Deleted member 4482

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
1,713
I'm in college and all my friends are women. I'm involved in a lot of progressive organizations and men are practically nonexistent in those spaces (there are some, but almost all of them are performative and power-hungry rather than in it for the right reasons) so it kinda just happens that way. I find women to be better friends anyway - they're much more supportive of my expression of my honest self.
 
LosDaddie

LosDaddie

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
3,622
Longwood, FL
I get along with everyone. Close friends these days are guys, though. I had a ton of lady-friends while at FSU.

I always find it weird when guys claim that women are easier to get along with. Same goes for when women claim to prefer guy friends because of "less drama"
 
Dice

Dice

Member
Oct 25, 2017
22,732
Canada
Girl here: I grew up raised more by men then women so I'm a giant tomboy and most of my friends are guys (I get worried a few just wanna stay and fuck me sometimes though). I suck getting along with girls the same sadly and I wish I did better. :/
 
36 Chambers

36 Chambers

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
1,345
User Banned (Permanent): Sexist generalisations. history of infractions for similar behaviour.
I have a group of close friends I grew up with and am still close with them. All men.

I have had women friends over the years but not many. I much prefer hanging out with guys. I dont like being with my girlfriends friends for example. My closest woman friend is great though, shes not your typical girl. No drama gossip or any of that shit. Shes cool.

Id much rather hang out with the boys though.
 

Deleted member 9479

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 26, 2017
2,953
I always shied away from what is now called toxic masculinity growing up. Looking back on it I did generally prefer being around girls when I was younger - then in high school it was much the same except I had trouble relating to just about anyone my age: guys were getting more bro and girls seemed to clump together more than ever. I honestly don't know if that was society or me or a mix of the two. I had one or two guys I thought of as close friends but we were never as close as I thought at the time. (Rivalry and friendship can overlap to varying degrees and it can be difficult to see exactly where on the curve you are without some separation).

This is starting to get more into the nature of friendships than how gender factors in to it. Maybe my experience isn't as relevant to this discussion as I thought when I started typing.
 
H.Protagonist

H.Protagonist

Verified
Oct 26, 2017
861
Drizzle-Drizzle-Rain-Land, England
I get along just fine with both, but most of my friends tend to be guys because of hobbies/work/social-style. It's entirely my experience, but I just find guys generally easier spend longer periods of time with. I know plenty of cool ladies too. I imagine it was just my upbringing/media influence that's skewed me a bit.
 

Deleted member 2109

User-requested account closure
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Oct 25, 2017
3,927
Currently my closest friends are 1 guy and 2 women. We're all parents and stoners with the same hobbies so we have a lot in common. The only real difference is me and the guy have much darker/grosser senses of humor.
 
apocat

apocat

Member
Oct 27, 2017
10,097
Straight guy here. I generally have an easier time talking with women. I have male, female and nonbinary friends. The majority of my friends are female though, which is fine by me. As to why this is? No idea, but I do have a hard time with the machismo that is a part of the package with many men.
 

Deleted member 249

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
28,828
Generally, I find it easier to get along with women than I do with men. In college, I had three guy friends, but about a dozen women ones. It's just easier for me to connect, engage, and get along, with women rather than men, I suppose. It carries on to this day.
 
Oaklight

Oaklight

Avenger
Jun 16, 2018
933
I struggle to make friends with anybody of any gender, but in general I would say I'm more comfortable around girls then I am around other guys. Men often seem more unsympathetic and uncaring than women, which in turn makes me uneasy around them.
 
i-hate-u

i-hate-u

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,374
MALE FRIENDS ALL DAY. I am not comfortable with any other option.

Brotherhood is one of the strongest bonds on this earth.
 
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