LGBTQera |ERA1| (We're Queer)

lenovox1 · Jul 20, 2018

Kevyt said:
Do any of you wear skinny jeans? How tight and fit are they supposed to be? I think I'm at a loss here... I was watching queer eye and Tan from the cast mentioned how people think skinny jeans are for skinny people but thats not necessarily true since it's all about the fit itself. I think they're too tight? I bought a size larger than normal and it's still a very tight fit or is this how it's supposed to be? Any avid skinny jean users here?

You have a "slim" jeans build, not a "skinny" jeans build.

The other problem is that "skinny" isn't actually a useful apparel fit term. It can mean entirely different things in different brands (even aside from measurements), so you may also be in a bad brand/style for your body type.

(This is why I don't like online shopping and prefer shopping in places with knowledgeable and helpful sales staff. Or I just wear the same stuff my friends wear.)

Regardless, if your jeans aren't the easiest to wear and the most flattering thing in your casual wardrobe, you're doing jeans wrong. There's no use in being fashionable if the seam splits in the middle after a few washes and wears.

Rilakkuma Fanatic · Jul 20, 2018

Our local 'pride' event happens today (family friendly, of course). I kind of want to go, but the +1 really, really doesn't. Can't say I blame him though, since our society is still so hostile, and given my line of work it's probably not a good idea to be out anyway.

In the meantime, foreigners and foreign companies are banned from participating because of undue 'foreign influence', while evangelicals and preachers from overseas are happily allowed to spew racist, homophobic rhetoric.

God, I really hate this country sometimes.

BlueBadger · Jul 20, 2018

Kevyt said:
Do any of you wear skinny jeans? How tight and fit are they supposed to be? I think I'm at a loss here... I was watching queer eye and Tan from the cast mentioned how people think skinny jeans are for skinny people but thats not necessarily true since it's all about the fit itself. I think they're too tight? I bought a size larger than normal and it's still a very tight fit or is this how it's supposed to be? Any avid skinny jean users here?

I wear skinny jeans with a lot of stretch in them... They're the only jeans I wear, and I'm an athlete with very, very thick thighs. I'm super self-conscious about them, but I find that they actually look the best in skinny jeans. And they're the most comfortable because skinnies tend to have the most stretch in them :) I just wear the ones from AE.

Nassudan · Jul 20, 2018

Milo Rambaldi said:
Depending on the brand I find that skinny jeans either fit way too tight and squeeze my legs or they fit okay but the waist is too large because I had to go a size or two up. I've switched to slim fit because I cannot stand a straight leg cut. I know this may not be helpful like you wanted though. FWIW, I buy all of mine at H&M. I like their jeans the most and I have the best luck with their products. I'm actually wearing some now and they're a nice balance between the two alternatives.

Examples under the cut. Please don't judge too hard lol.

I've always had trouble with pant sizing from H&M that's why i've just about given them up. It's either too long length wise or too skinny width wise. It's like they don't know that middle sizes are a thing.

BlueBadger · Jul 20, 2018

I never buy pants from H&M, period. They really only cater to one type of leg.
I buy a lot of tops there though... When I'm in the mood to clothes shop, which isn't often

Prophet Five · Jul 20, 2018

Nassudan said:
I've always had trouble with pant sizing from H&M that's why i've just about given them up. It's either too long length wise or too skinny width wise. It's like they don't know that middle sizes are a thing.

that's unfortunate. They're seriously the only place I can find pants that fit me the way I like but I hate their pricing. I don't think the jeans are worth what they charge but there's not a lot of great shopping near me and I also hate to shop for clothes in general so I just stick with them.

Nassudan · Jul 20, 2018

BlueBadger said:
I never buy pants from H&M, period. They really only cater to one type of leg.
I buy a lot of tops there though... When I'm in the mood to clothes shop, which isn't often

Their tops selection has been really stale of late imo, I'm seeing the same stuff I saw last year still on the racks (especially where polos are concerned). I've had far better luck at Express Men's and Ralph Lauren (outlet stores, of course).

Milo Rambaldi said:
that's unfortunate. They're seriously the only place I can find pants that fit me the way I like but I hate their pricing. I don't think the jeans are worth what they charge but there's not a lot of great shopping near me and I also hate to shop for clothes in general so I just stick with them.

Surprisingly enough I had better luck on Amazon than H&M (cheaper prices too), at the risk of trying to figure out your size through an online store.

BlueBadger · Jul 20, 2018

Nassudan said:
Their tops selection has been really stale of late imo, I'm seeing the same stuff I saw last year still on the racks (especially where polos are concerned). I've had far better luck at Express Men's and Ralph Lauren (outlet stores, of course).

Surprisingly enough I had better luck on Amazon than H&M (cheaper prices too), at the risk of trying to figure out your size through an online store.

Honestly I haven't been clothes shopping at H&M in maybe a year! I've been buying most of my clothes from Simon's lately.

Nassudan · Jul 20, 2018

BlueBadger said:
Honestly I haven't been clothes shopping at H&M in maybe a year! I've been buying most of my clothes from Simon's lately.

I'd check them out but it doesn't seem like they're in the US :(

BlueBadger · Jul 20, 2018

Nassudan said:
I'd check them out but it doesn't seem like they're in the US :(

I know! :( I think they're biggest in the UK. There's only one location in my city here in Canada, but it's become my new favourite store!

Prophet Five · Jul 20, 2018

Nassudan said:
Surprisingly enough I had better luck on Amazon than H&M (cheaper prices too), at the risk of trying to figure out your size through an online store.

Considering how much I spend at Amazon I've never once considered buying clothing from them. You may have just started something...

pokeystaples · Jul 20, 2018

This weekend my wife and I have plans with her ex and her exes new girlfriend and her exes ex and her exes ex...es new wife to go see Watermelon Woman, have sushi then hit roller derby. I don't think I have ever had more lesbian plans ever in my life.

brainchild · Jul 20, 2018

pokeystaples said:
This weekend my wife and I have plans with her ex and her exes new girlfriend and her exes ex and her exes ex...es new wife to go see Watermelon Woman, have sushi then hit roller derby. I don't think I have ever had more lesbian plans ever in my life.

I think it's pretty cool that everyone is cool with each other's exes to the point where you all are having outings together.

Have fun!

Pekola · Jul 20, 2018

We have decided to stan.

pokeystaples · Jul 20, 2018

brainchild said:
I think it's pretty cool that everyone is cool with each other's exes to the point where you all are having outings together.

Have fun!

Thanks! It should be a good time. Especially since we don't get out to the city often!

IvorB · Jul 20, 2018

I broke my phone but my friend sent me the pics I took on his phone at London Pride
Soho was completely rammed:

Traflagar Square too with massive stage and crowd in the distance:

Leicester Square

Aftermath:

Nassudan · Jul 20, 2018

Milo Rambaldi said:
Considering how much I spend at Amazon I've never once considered buying clothing from them. You may have just started something...

If you're willing to go through the trial and error (and sometimes wrong item sent) of approximating your size, give it a shot. The free exchanges are going to be valuable in that.

Edit: I get all my shoes from Zappos (god tier shoe store), owned by Amazon.

Aarglefarg · Jul 20, 2018

KING said:
Your gender? Your sexual identity? (Preferred pronouns?)
I'm male but I spent my 20's as a woman.. thought I was trans but came to realise that I don't really have any strong feelings one way or the other, so I stopped taking the meds ...it's less hassle.
Some days I want to look like He-Man, other days I want to look like She-Ra... If only we could customise our RL avatars so easily!
So, In short I haven't a clue.

Welcome. It sounds like you're non-binary or genderqueer.

lenovox1 · Jul 20, 2018

Nassudan said:
If you're willing to go through the trial and error (and sometimes wrong item sent) of approximating your size, give it a shot. The free exchanges are going to be valuable in that.

Edit: I get all my shoes from Zappos (god tier shoe store), owned by Amazon.

It's actually super easy if you have Prime because they have some kind of thing where you can try on stuff and send it back if you don't like it before ever paying for it, exactly like you would with an online clothing subscription service.

I've never used it, but it seems cool.

Nassudan · Jul 20, 2018

lenovox1 said:
It's actually super easy if you have Prime because they have some kind of thing where you can try on stuff and send it back if you don't like it before ever paying for it, exactly like you would with an online clothing subscription service.

I've never used it, but it seems cool.

I'm not a Prime subscriber (I bum off my sister's) but that is invaluable, thanks!

Prophet Five · Jul 20, 2018

lenovox1 said:
It's actually super easy if you have Prime because they have some kind of thing where you can try on stuff and send it back if you don't like it before ever paying for it, exactly like you would with an online clothing subscription service.

I've never used it, but it seems cool.

Oh this is awesome. Thanks for the tip!

Nox Potens · Jul 20, 2018

I don't think I have ever really chimed in here, so I guess I'll give it a shot.

Your gender? Your sexual identity? (Preferred pronouns?) NB

Your sexual orientation? Bisexual

Where Are You From? Missouri

Where Do You Live? North Carolina

How Old Are you? 27

Favorite Type of Music? Psychedelic Rock

Profession or Career interest? I work in manufacturing

Favorite video game(s)? The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind

What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? I have been working on cosplay as of late.

Conkersbadfurday · Jul 20, 2018

Don't think I've bebopped into this thread before, or if I have, it's been a long while. Hope y'all are doing well!

Your gender? Male, though sometimes it feels complicated. Prefer HE pronouns though.

Your sexual orientation? Asexual on most days, fuck-if-i-know when the moon is full.

Where Are You From? USA

Where Do You Live? Minnesota

How Old Are you? 29

Favorite Type of Music? Metal! All of the metal! Roar roar raw rawr!

Profession or Career interest? Technical writing + random shit

Favorite video game(s)? Conker's Bad Fur Day and Aliens vs Predator 2

What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? Writing, composing music, reading, making video games

Cosmic Bus · Jul 21, 2018

Pekola said:
We have decided to stan.

Hah, right across the street from our old apartment in Seattle.

MONSTER · Jul 21, 2018

Hi guys, am planning to study for a year in Canada in 2019/20 and was wondering if there's any Canadians here and what is the gay scene like over there?

I'm from England btw

Matsukaze · Jul 21, 2018

Welcome, newcomers! :)

kittens · Jul 21, 2018

I've posted here a few times with no replies, but since the thread is stickied I figured I'd ask again: anyone else here non-binary? I'd love to connect with more non-binary / gender fluid / agender people here but so far they seem non-existant?

Aarglefarg · Jul 21, 2018

kittens said:
I've posted here a few times with no replies, but since the thread is stickied I figured I'd ask again: anyone else here non-binary? I'd love to connect with more non-binary / gender fluid / agender people here but so far they seem non-existant?

Hi. I hope I'm not stepping out of bounds by posting on King's behalf, but they posted on the previous page and maybe they'll see this notification.

KING said:
Hi everyone, I'm looking for somewhere to fit in around here.
Please excuse my awkwardness, I'm a bit reclusive, and on top of that I've never had any gay friends or even really interacted with the LGBTQ community before...
So I apologise for not wording things right, I mean no disrespect to anyone.

Your gender? Your sexual identity? (Preferred pronouns?)
I'm male but I spent my 20's as a woman.. thought I was trans but came to realise that I don't really have any strong feelings one way or the other, so I stopped taking the meds ...it's less hassle.
Some days I want to look like He-Man, other days I want to look like She-Ra... If only we could customise our RL avatars so easily!
So, In short I haven't a clue.

Recluse · Jul 22, 2018

kittens said:
I've posted here a few times with no replies, but since the thread is stickied I figured I'd ask again: anyone else here non-binary? I'd love to connect with more non-binary / gender fluid / agender people here but so far they seem non-existant?

Hi there!

Menaged · Jul 22, 2018

Thought I'd share the current mood in Israel.
A week ago there was a "correction" to the surrogacy law here, allowing single moms to use surrogates. The government rejected the idea of allowing gay parents this right as well.

This caused quite an uproar which cumilates today. There's a call for all LGBT people to strike and not work today (we work on Sundays). There will be nation wide protests today which will peak evening time. It's not just about surrogacy, but about equal rights as a whole.

It's quite exciting really...

Robin · Jul 22, 2018

kittens said:
I've posted here a few times with no replies, but since the thread is stickied I figured I'd ask again: anyone else here non-binary? I'd love to connect with more non-binary / gender fluid / agender people here but so far they seem non-existant?

Hey Kittens! I myself am not NB (I'm a transwoman.) but I know we have a few non-binary / gender fluid users over in TransEra and are always looking for more people to share that perspective with us! We have a discord too!

BlueBadger · Jul 22, 2018

Btw, who would I ask for permission to join the Discord page?

Deleted member 29195 · Jul 22, 2018

Your gender? Your sexual identity? (Preferred pronouns?) cis-male (he/him/his)

Your sexual orientation? Thought I was straight for the longest time, and I'm currently questioning whether I'm bi

Where Are You From? Illinois

Where Do You Live? California

How Old Are you? Early 20s

Profession or Career interest? Graphics Programming and looking for work (hey game-dev folks how are you?)

Favorite video game(s)? Ocarina of Time, Persona, Steins;Gate, KH2 (It's so bad but so good)

What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? Guitar and a lot of reading

My current partner (a bi woman and amazing activist) really inspired me to look back on my life and question whether I'm actually straight, and now I haven't the faintest clue. I know I have a lot of deep-rooted homophobia from growing up in rural Illinois and being called the F-word constantly, so it's hard to distinguish what my actual feelings are. I look back on so many drunken nights where I would end up hugging or being touchy-feely with other men (which they responded to with further homophobia), and I'm just very confused about what I actually feel. It's frustrating but also exciting that there's a part of me I might not even be familiar with.

Any advice from folks who have gone through similar stuff?

RatskyWatsky · Jul 22, 2018

aspaceseaman said:
My current partner (a bi woman and amazing activist) really inspired me to look back on my life and question whether I'm actually straight, and now I haven't the faintest clue. I know I have a lot of deep-rooted homophobia from growing up in rural Illinois and being called the F-word constantly, so it's hard to distinguish what my actual feelings are. I look back on so many drunken nights where I would end up hugging or being touchy-feely with other men (which they responded to with further homophobia), and I'm just very confused about what I actually feel. It's frustrating but also exciting that there's a part of me I might not even be familiar with.

Any advice from folks who have gone through similar stuff?

Does gay porn do anything for you? Since you're partnered, I'm assuming that experimenting with other guys is off the table (unless you're open/poly)...

Archmage · Jul 23, 2018

BlueBadger said:
Btw, who would I ask for permission to join the Discord page?

I believe Sai can.

Nassudan · Jul 23, 2018

Visited my guy friend over the weekend, fun times were had.

BlueBadger · Jul 23, 2018

Archmage said:
I believe Sai can.

Ahh, ok

Manipular · Jul 23, 2018

Nassudan said:
Visited my guy friend over the weekend, fun times were had.

Oh? Do tell.

Sai · Jul 23, 2018

Archmage said:
I believe Sai can.

Yeah! Please feel free to PM me or Del or Will!

Deleted member 42637 · Jul 24, 2018

Hi everyone!

Your gender? Your sexual identity? (Preferred pronouns?) Male, cis, he/him/his
Your sexual orientation? Definitely gay, I'm getting married to my boyfriend next year :)
Where Are You From? Ireland
Where Do You Live? Dublin
How Old Are you? Mid 30s
Profession or Career interest? IT but I'm not really that good at it or interested in it :/
Favorite video game(s)? I'm all about the platformers and jrpgs. Donkey Kong Country, Yoshis Island, Mario Galaxy, Suikoden 2, Final Fantasy IX, Pokemon
What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? Tv, movies, sci-fi, reading, walking, recently started working out to try to lose some weight

Wackamole · Jul 24, 2018

Edit: Oh, haha. Wrong thread.

Prophet Five · Jul 24, 2018

Anjanath_Fang said:
Hi everyone!

Your gender? Your sexual identity? (Preferred pronouns?) Male, cis, he/him/his

Your sexual orientation? Definitely gay, I'm getting married to my boyfriend next year :)

Where Are You From? Ireland

Where Do You Live? Dublin

How Old Are you? Mid 30s

Profession or Career interest? IT but I'm not really that good at it or interested in it :/

Favorite video game(s)? I'm all about the platformers and jrpgs. Donkey Kong Country, Yoshis Island, Mario Galaxy, Suikoden 2, Final Fantasy IX, Pokemon

What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? Tv, movies, sci-fi, reading, walking, recently started working out to try to lose some weight

Welcome. I love your gaming taste!

Nassudan · Jul 24, 2018

Manipular said:
Oh? Do tell.

Haha okay, here's the condensed version:

Drove to his house (which was a fair bit away), we talked for a bit while sipping mead (he never had it before). Eventually removing each other's clothes since they weren't necessary. Spent most of the afternoon into the evening fooling around, got dressed, went to dinner at a local place by him.

Finished dinner and returned to his place, went to his bedroom and proceeded to act 2 of our tomfoolery. We both fell asleep. Wake up the next morning, talked for a bit, had one final act in his living room (and a mark on the sofa to prove it...).

Showered up afterwards (together, to save water. You know.... being eco and all), then left and went back to my place. All in all a fun day.

Katana_Strikes · Jul 24, 2018

So there's a guy at work who most people would have said was gay if you asked them (his music tastes, the kind of people who he gravitates towards, following nice guys around, the way he talks, body mannerisms etc.) but he's always denied when asked (fair enough). Then the other day there was a guy on Grindr who kind of fit the bill of this guy (didn't have a pic). He'd spoke to me but I didn't really entertain him at first because when I asked for a pic he didn't want to supply one. But yesterday I put 2 and 2 together and was convinced it was. He said he hadn't come out as Bi yet but was trying to throw me off the scent by sending me pics of someone else and telling me he drove etc when he doesn't. So it wasn't really helping me asking him anything. Today at work I see he was feet away on the app so it can't really be anyone else I feel. Everything adds up. Trouble is how do you talk to him (not to out him) but to say hey it's ok to talk if you want and discuss things. I'm not really interested in him relationship wise tbh (though he has shown some interest on the app to me (whether that's genuine or to get my attention)) but I think it be nice to show support and maybe get to know him better on a friend level maybe if we could connect in that way.

Prophet Five · Jul 24, 2018

Katana_Strikes said:
So there's a guy at work who most people would have said was gay if you asked them (his music tastes, the kind of people who he gravitates towards, following nice guys around, the way he talks, body mannerisms etc.) but he's always denied when asked (fair enough). Then the other day there was a guy on Grindr who kind of fit the bill of this guy (didn't have a pic). He'd spoke to me but I didn't really entertain him at first because when I asked for a pic he didn't want to supply one. But yesterday I put 2 and 2 together and was convinced it was. He said he hadn't come out as Bi yet but was trying to throw me off the scent by sending me pics of someone else and telling me he drove etc when he doesn't. So it wasn't really helping me asking him anything. Today at work I see he was feet away on the app so it can't really be anyone else I feel. Everything adds up. Trouble is how do you talk to him (not to out him) but to say hey it's ok to talk if you want and discuss things. I'm not really interested in him relationship wise tbh (though he has shown some interest on the app to me (whether that's genuine or to get my attention)) but I think it be nice to show support and maybe get to know him better on a friend level maybe if we could connect in that way.

I don't really have a lot of advice but I probably wouldn't say anything to him at work unless he initiates. He may really dislike the idea of being out there. Not that him using Grindr there is a bright idea or anything. I'd let him do it at his own pace.

Nassudan · Jul 24, 2018

Katana_Strikes said:
Trouble is how do you talk to him (not to out him) but to say hey it's ok to talk if you want and discuss things. I'm not really interested in him relationship wise tbh (though he has shown some interest on the app to me (whether that's genuine or to get my attention)) but I think it be nice to show support and maybe get to know him better on a friend level maybe if we could connect in that way.

Yeah, I'd wait for him to reach out (if he does at all). I can sympathize with the guy in a way, I'm in no hurry to out myself tbh.

Katana_Strikes · Jul 24, 2018

Yeah it's difficult and you can only come out when you're ready and comfortable. But it's difficult to proceed if he continues to talk to me on the app, knowing I know who he is, but he's seemingly unaware I know who it is.

Prophet Five · Jul 24, 2018

Katana_Strikes said:
Yeah it's difficult and you can only come out when you're ready and comfortable. But it's difficult to proceed if he continues to talk to me on the app, knowing I know who he is, but he's seemingly unaware I know who it is.

Eventually, I assume, he'll either tell you or he won't. It depends on how much patience you have to put up with him. I would find it annoying and I would just drop the conversation.

Katana_Strikes · Jul 24, 2018

Milo Rambaldi said:
Eventually, I assume, he'll either tell you or he won't. It depends on how much patience you have to put up with him. I would find it annoying and I would just drop the conversation.

Yeah. I guess it'll just be rather frustrating from my POV, him pretending to be someone else, therefore difficult to really talk based upon lies and then me trying to entertain that all the time.

Prophet Five · Jul 24, 2018

Katana_Strikes said:
Yeah. I guess it'll just be rather frustrating from my POV, him pretending to be someone else, therefore difficult to really talk based upon lies and then me trying to entertain that all the time.[/QUOTE

I've had similar interactions with people on Grindr that I wasn't 100% sure they were who I thought they were but I was sure enough to put a stop to it. Especially because they wanted nudes and stuff and I was like "nah, I'm good."

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