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Hey look on the bright side, no need for a gym membership!
It'll get easier, and it can always be a stepping stone to something much better. Good luck with it!
Hey, LGBTQera! I've had a question bugging me for a while, and this OT being in the spotlight reminded me to actually get around to asking it. When someone says something like "as a queer black man," or "as a queer lesbian," what does "queer" mean in this context? I've been trying to figure it out through context clues, but I'm getting nowhere. Does it mean gender nonconforming?
It changes from person to person but it's usually either a re-appropriation of a slur originally targeted at us to hurt us or an additional indicator that, aside for being part of the LGTB+ community, you don't adhere to heteronormativity rules or "respectability politics".
For example, even though in my case I don't use it because it has no direct equivalent in my mother tongue (Spanish), I would be a queer gay man since my appearance sometimes includes makeup of any kind, and I'm not afraid to keep on using accessories and clothing through my 30s that straight people would have left behind by 25 such as facial piercings, crazy colored hair and beard, or accessories typically considered feminine like hand fans.
I always interpret it to mean that person is one of the letters in the lgbtqia+, which may very well be gender non-conforming or lesbian. I don't know what every single letter is though. I am not sure if asexual people consider themselves queer.
Maybe he thought you were someone else. A few months in the gay dating scene can be a lot for some people.
oh i thought it was just someone you met for the first time, went on a date with, and then didn't talk to them for months haha. his meltdown sounds weird regardless.
That helps clear things up. Thanks, guys!
Is it normal to feel like a fraud after coming out if you've never acted on certain aspects of your sexuality, even though you're certain of how you feel and what you find attractive?
Sure. It's just important to keep in mind that you aren't a fraud no matter your experiences.
I can't bring myself to change my avatar even though Pride Month has been over for a minute now. I think I'll hang onto it for a while.
no oxford commas though it seemsWelcome, The Straights, to our humble corner. We have drinks, hygiene tips and unrepentant sodomy.
I don't understand why everyone's so mean to me today. I stay in my lane and I am generally friendly. I literally don't deserve any of this.
*single tear*
*pat pat*
I don't understand why everyone's so mean to me today. I stay in my lane and I am generally friendly. I literally don't deserve any of this.
*single tear*
Oh hey, Community Spotlight! It's gays time to shine! I've posted in this thread exactly one time before, maybe now that I've gotten the reminder I'll make a more concerted effort! I'm Robin, IDR if I did the ice breakers but I'll do them again for funsies
- I'm a transwomen! She/Her!
- Pan! Although I've mostly only dated other transwomen, but I'm not picky ; )
- Born in Connecticut!
- I still live in Connecticut but do a lot of commuting to the North Hampton, Massachusetts area.
- 28 years old
- I like all kinds of genres. Pop, Electric, Hip-Hop, Shoegaze, is what I think off off the top of my head.
- I've been working in an entry level position in a hospital for the last two years, but my bachelors is in Illustration. My dream is to one day land a career in Illustration, but I have a long way to go still!
- My favorite game is a crossover tie between all the old Nintendo hits, Metal Gear Solid, and the Shin Megami games even though their LGBTQ track record is atrocious and a disgrace.
- I try to draw, paint, or do pixel art stuff at least a bit every day. I binge watch lots of TV like the dork I am.
I'm 28, gay, and a virgin. I'm not any less gay for not having acted out the big bang or activated Mystical Space Typhoon on someone's play area since coming out at 16. You're fine. You're also fine if your feelings change down the line, too, whether you go from bi to gay, gay to bi, x to y, etc. You know yourself best. Fuck everyone else.
I'm sorry <3
I don't understand why everyone's so mean to me today. I stay in my lane and I am generally friendly. I literally don't deserve any of this.
*single tear*
I have sadly never activated anyone's trap card, or had mine activated (yet). I'm just so introverted.
It's natural to have the feeling, but that doesn't make it true. You don't have to justify your sexual orientation to anyone, full stop.
- Your gender? Your sexual identity? (Preferred pronouns?) - Male
- Your sexual orientation? - Straight
- Where Are You From? - West Coast
- Where Do You Live? - Washington State
- How Old Are you? - 33, 34 this xmas
- Favorite Type of Music? - whatever sounds good
- Profession or Career interest? - n/a
- Favorite video game(s)? - Persona 4
- What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? - dunking on scrubs
Thank you all for the kind and reassuring replies.
Sup, LGBTQera!
So, I guess I should fill out this questionnaire...
Just filling out that questionnaire made me realize just why I've been feeling so stressed out lately; I'm being stretched WAY too thin!!
Anyway, for something a little more on topic, if there's one pet peeve I have as a queer person, it's with people who ask me why I'm married to a woman. Like, I just don't see the logic in this. Surely, those who are attracted to both men and women and choose to be in a monogamous relationship will have to choose one person to be with, and that person is usually of one gender. I don't see how this is any more problematic than being in a heterosexual monogamous relationship. Just because you're sexually attracted to more than one person, it doesn't mean that you need to fuck every person you're attracted to. I've had plenty of sexual experiences with men and women prior to getting married and eventually I decided that I wanted to settle down and have kids, so when my wife and I first started dating, the pieces just started falling into place. Many years (and children) later, I do not regret my decision, though I have learned a lot about myself within that time. I just wish people will stop asking me that stupid question, as if bisexual people shouldn't be married to someone of the opposite sex; it's fucking ridiculous.
/rant
So, I guess I should fill out this questionnaire...
- Your gender? Cis-male
- Your sexual identity? Queer
- (Preferred pronouns?) He/him (but any pronouns are fine with me)
- Your sexual orientation? Queer, possibly demisexual-esque (it's complicated)
- Where Are You From? Illinois
- Where Do You Live? Minnesota
- How Old Are you? 35
- Favorite Type of Music? Classical, VGM
- Profession or Career interest? Musician, vocalist, sound engineer, software engineer, PLT researcher, IT consultant, marketing analyst, job recruiter, citizen scientist and science communicator, linguist, Spanish translator, editor
- Favorite video game(s)? Smash series, Zelda series, Metroid series
- What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? Binge-watching TV shows, writing, hiking, biking, swimming, teaching, learning, debating philosophical topics and semantics, posting on Resetera/social media, and most recently, doing technical analyses of video games
Just filling out that questionnaire made me realize just why I've been feeling so stressed out lately; I'm being stretched WAY too thin!!
Anyway, for something a little more on topic, if there's one pet peeve I have as a queer person, it's with people who ask me why I'm married to a woman. Like, I just don't see the logic in this. Surely, those who are attracted to both men and women and choose to be in a monogamous relationship will have to choose one person to be with, and that person is usually of one gender. I don't see how this is any more problematic than being in a heterosexual monogamous relationship. Just because you're sexually attracted to more than one person, it doesn't mean that you need to fuck every person you're attracted to. I've had plenty of sexual experiences with men and women prior to getting married and eventually I decided that I wanted to settle down and have kids, so when my wife and I first started dating, the pieces just started falling into place. Many years (and children) later, I do not regret my decision, though I have learned a lot about myself within that time. I just wish people will stop asking me that stupid question, as if bisexual people shouldn't be married to someone of the opposite sex; it's fucking ridiculous.
/rant
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- Your gender? Your sexual identity? (Preferred pronouns?)
- Your sexual orientation?
Long Version: I guess technically pansexual but I just say bi since your average person don't really know what pan means. So bisexual for sexual orientation, but i'm homoromantic; I can really only feel deep mushy romantic stuff with other girls. Currently in a committed relationship with a gorgeous lovely woman, with some poly type aspects to it.
- Favorite Type of Music?
- Profession or Career interest?
- Favorite video game(s)?
- What are your hobbies (other than gaming)?
I can only imagine you trying to make a distinction between pansexuality and homoromanticism, and how explaining to the average person how they both apply to you could be annoying. It seems like too much effort to do so when neither base definition is well understood.
I'm glad I can fallback on a term like 'queer' and not have to further elucidate the nuance and fluidity of my sexuality. You wouldn't believe how many years it took me to figure that out, either ('gay' used to be that umbrella term for me, but at some point I just felt like it didn't make sense, and queer was really the term I was looking for).
I decided I'm going to stop feeling sorry for myself and just work on some personal stuff as best as I can without a therapist. I was in a really good place about 4 years ago and the stress of moving cross country and having a really shitty, abusive job for a while really tore me down. I have to figure out how to build myself back up again.
Does anyone have any anxiety resources that they could recommend? Or just general tips and tricks that work for them when they're feeling anxious?
Does anyone have any anxiety resources that they could recommend? Or just general tips and tricks that work for them when they're feeling anxious?
because the combat is the best in the series next to Berseria, but everything else is awful