The Apollo part got me good lol
-
Ever wanted an RSS feed of all your favorite gaming news sites? Go check out our new Gaming Headlines feed! Read more about it here.
Henry Cavill: Hesitant to date in fear of being called a rapist
- Thread starter rude
- Start date
The Apollo part got me good lol
Reread my post. I've been in actual conversations where this happened, where someone has said "that girl was interested. She wanted you to keep talking to her." And I've spoken with women who've been surprised when men stopped talking to them after they sent a signal implying that they're not interested. He's saying he feels like he's in a no win situation because if he stops talking to a woman she may say "why did you stop? I was interested" but if he continues he might later hear "you're sexually harassing me, leave me alone" or worse, later see "I felt victimized" on a headline as someone interviews the person he was talking to. He's saying honestly that he doesn't know how to navigate the dating scene anymore since clearly he's not reading about the nuances and is just seeing "x male has been accused of sexual misconduct" and he's afraid he's going to be "next" so to speak.
And note to mods, please see my original post. Not trying to excuse any misbehavior, just trying to understand where he's coming from and hopefully add some more to the discussion rather than just write him off as some jerk when I or nobody here actually has met or known this man
I like how the reaction in this thread is exactly what he was trying to point out.
Sure, he could have phrased it better but it's pretty straightforward what he's saying. And for the most part i think he's right. Everything and can be used to label someone as a creeper now a days.
Sure, he could have phrased it better but it's pretty straightforward what he's saying. And for the most part i think he's right. Everything and can be used to label someone as a creeper now a days.
Yeah, cause that's what's been happening.
That situation looks more fake and contrived than supermans upper lip.
That situation looks more fake and contrived than supermans upper lip.
WTF is this shit? You get a no, then you leave her alone, go home or move on to someone else. What a jackass.
Yeah. I mean, people are totally excusing him as some sort of misunderstood person who said the right thing the wrong way, but viewing dating as a "pursuit", as though resistance is to be both expected and "pushed past", is part of how rape culture has been allowed to exist for so long and isn't a good look. It comes off as a chauvinistic 1950s ideology.
I mean, I just don't get it fundamentally at all. If a romantic/sexual interest doesn't show any interest back to you, trying to keep going in the hope you'll magically turn their opinion around just seems like a huge waste of a person's time on top of running into the likely outcome of looking like a creepy douche. Why oh why would someone consider behaving in any capacity like Howard Wolowitz from The Big Bang Theory to be a good idea?!
Like, fucking seriously, learn to read a room, dudes. It's not that hard and an immensely useful life skill.
I mean coming from one of the most attractive men in the world, the whole thing is ridiculous. Pretty much every woman I know is in love with the guy.
It probably won't sink him, but, damn have I lost my respect for him.
Some serious mental gymnastics to try and justify what he said.
Which is straight up bullshit by the way.
Which is straight up bullshit by the way.
Why is this such a hard thing for some people to understand? Honest question. It baffles me
I think pursue is the wrong word. If a women gets up and walks away at a bar you shouldn't keep following them and spitting game
It isn't a real problem. It's not some kind of epidemic where men have literally stopped dating women because false accusations are flying. Creepers being called out is what's happening. It's definitely not a problem Caville should have to worry about unless he is a creeper. And NO should always mean no.
This, right here, is mental gymnastics in its purest form.
I think that is all he wanted to say, they are both bad. I don't think he was trying to say the problems are both equally prevalent.
Male anxiety over approaching or working with women after #MeToo is just the dumbest. And its rooted in a implication that accusations are false or exaggerated
Are some people not seeing the insane logic he's applying here? He goes from talking to a woman and then being accused of rape. Like what? It's just an insane leap.
You can talk to women dude. You can even show interest. But once she gives you the flat out "no" it's done.
You can talk to women dude. You can even show interest. But once she gives you the flat out "no" it's done.
I didn't see anything wrong in what he was saying, until his part about when they say "no".
While I can somewhat understand his idea of saying "you shouldn't give up on trying to get the girl" as a romanticized/stereotypical scenario in movies where a girl will eventually see something in someone who doesn't give up on them (even though I hate that trope), a no should still mean a no and at this point you are not respecting their boundaries.
Just want to say: I love your username. Pretty subtle lol.
They aren't equally prevalent and it's a pointless thing to say anyway, since nobody is arguing that false accusations aren't bad.
User banned (1 week): Implying that women are actively seeking excuses to accuse men of sexual assault
I get what he's trying to say. He doesn't want to give some woman an opening to #MeToo his ass.
Even if he's "right" and we should understand what he saying (I want to die typing this)
What's good thing that came out from this "people should understand we just trying to flirt women yada yada" mentality, there's just simply none. nothing good came out from this "old school" bullshit.
What's good thing that came out from this "people should understand we just trying to flirt women yada yada" mentality, there's just simply none. nothing good came out from this "old school" bullshit.
Blip on the radar maybe, everyone was boycotting Game of Thrones due to the different rape scenes, but it never hurt it, ratings wise.
Fuck, I wish my biggest fear was inconsequentially being called a rapist by one person when it would clearly be irrational in the context.
If Cavill's too afraid to date because of the chance of that happening (I'm sure it's reaaaaaaally common) then I'm not stepping foot outside my house again.
If Cavill's too afraid to date because of the chance of that happening (I'm sure it's reaaaaaaally common) then I'm not stepping foot outside my house again.
So, if I asked a girl out on a date, and she said no...
I don't get to ask her again? Maybe get a haircut, spend some time on myself first?
When I read his statement, that's what I took from that. If he means physical advances, it's not okay. But, is asking twice no longer okay?
Yeah stuff like that he should quit, this ain't a 80's teen romance. You're not going to get the girl after an hour and a half of constant harassing.
What the fuck this is, 4ch reposting this thread or something?
Then I guess, these women will just have to learn to adjust their methods, no biggie.
If you think thousands of emerging allegations of abuse are on equal footing with a tiny number of false accusations comparatively, in terms of importance, it's safe to say you don't really care too much for the waves of victims stepping forward.
Get some perspective.
Yep. If you believe women are just out to get men, then all you're paying attention to is how often these stories are coming out, instead of whether they are actually true or not.
"Gee women sure are out to get us men lately, I better stop dating"
"Gee what if a woman tells me no and I want to keep pushing things further? I miss the days where I could harass women past the point of their possible comfort".
Its fairly obvious at this point that people understand what he is trying to say. Thats not the issue. The issue is that his entire fear and concern is ridiculous given the actual chances of him being falsely accused are. He is actively worried about false accusations and pretending that its a very real threat to him and other male celebrities. And by doing so he is painting a narrative that is highly unlikely and by extension he is furthering the myth that false accusations are common and a real threat.
Thats why people are pissed. Well part of the reason why. His other comments are also pretty shitty.
If a woman intentionally sends signals that she's not interested, why should she expect a man to continue pursuing her? That seems like a frankly toxic cultural convention to continue carrying into the present. All it seems to accomplish is minimizing a woman's ability to consent.
Like, I understand a playful back and forth over inane things, but pretending you're not even interested in each other? Who does that benefit?
It doesn't. I've already addressed my views on the matter. My friend thought I overreacted, though.
Of course being a celebrity makes you a target but that also makes you a target on all fronts. From your managers stealing your money to your partner taking advantage of you to take half. This is nothing new. If dating scares you that says a lot about you more than anything.
Why is this so difficult to understand. I'm somehow not surprised about Cavill not being the sharpest knife though.
Could you provide some kind of source for how many times this happens? I'm pretty sure if men were being labelled as harassers there would be a whole lot of stories about it?
..... Why would you ask her again if she said no? Why not instead just move on to someone else?
Like... if a guy asked me out and I wasn't interested, a haircut, working on themselves or whatever isn't going to change anything. Is this really what guys think? Like a haircut is going to change our mind? More confused than ever.
Spinning what he's saying as making sense based off of some anecdotal discussions with random women you've spoken to doesn't change the simple fact that a signal of disinterest means you back off immediately.
If a particular woman was playing some "hard to get" game and is now all sad that a guy quit and moved on, then that's really her problem at that point. She can take the L. That doesn't mean guys can now take the chance with things on the off-chance that a woman who was showing disinterest was actually interested.