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Did You “Date” Older When You Were in High School? (Potentially Sensitive Subject for Some)

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Deleted member 4034

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Oct 25, 2017
26,560
And by older, I mean someone out of school.



Came across this tweet this morning and immediately thought about this girl that would BRAG about her 24 year old boyfriend. She was 16 and junior. So my knee jerk reaction was "oh, you knew what you were doing".

Scrolled down in the comments and the dude that talks about being with a cop at 14 immediately put things into perspective. And that reminded me of a few stories peers told me in high school. A few female friends that mentioned losing their virginity at 12. Another friend told me not that long ago that her seeing an 18 year old at 15 felt not okay in retrospect.

So yeah, that's a problem. And I feel bad for ignoring stuff like that then. I feel like we knew, but I wasn't sure how to point out how that wasn't okay without trying to sound like I was raining on her parade, only referring to the 16 year old with that. The rest I ignored simply because I felt uncomfortable.

Thoughts?

My mid 20s have mainly been thinking back on 5-17 me and going, huh, that didn't go as peachy as I remember. Thankfully, this didn't apply to me, but it was in front of me a lot in retrospect.
 
electroshockwave

electroshockwave

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Oct 27, 2017
3,483
I never dated older but knew girls who did. I always thought "that guy you think is cool because he's in his 20s is probably the loser creep in his group because he's dating schoolgirls".
 
Air

Air

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electroshockwave said:
I never dated older but knew girls who did. I always thought "that guy you think is cool because he's in his 20s is probably the loser creep in his group because he's dating schoolgirls".
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Same. I knew a girl who was seeing David Blaine when she was like 16 or 17 and I always thought that was creepy
 
Zekes

Zekes

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Oct 25, 2017
6,715
My high school girlfriend was in grade 10 when I was in Grade 12, and we dated until I was 20 and her 18
 

Deleted member 887

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Oct 25, 2017
16,738
Yea now that you think about it. Going from Junior High to High school. There were girls I knew and knew of that dated older. I remember a crazy thing about our proms. If you were a junior or senior they allowed you bring your 21 year old bf or gf as long as you had a parents note or something.
 
Rival

Rival

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Oct 27, 2017
385
Midlands
A guy I knew in school was seeing a girl in Year 8 when he was in Year 11... It was so weird. He was a weird guy anyway but that really shocked me.

A met the girl again recently (about 10 year since) and she's absolutely stunning. Maybe he was just a fantastic talent spotter... As well as a pedophile
 
Tagyhag

Tagyhag

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Oct 27, 2017
12,507
No, had someone trying to get with me that was in college while I was in in high school, even then I knew it was creepy.
 
G_Shumi

G_Shumi

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Oct 26, 2017
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Cleveland, OH
The closest for me was when I was 17 and I dated someone for a few months who was 19. It's only a two year difference but the high school mindset and college mindset are pretty huge.
 

Deleted member 6173

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Oct 25, 2017
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I didn't date anyone when I was in high school. But once I finished university and I started my first full time job I was able to make money and pay for sex with older women.
 

Bleepey

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Nov 11, 2017
1,152
I lusted after older women in my 20s but most didn't give me the time of day. I once hooked up with a 19 year old when i was 27 and had a romance with a 20 yr old when i was 30, i carded her just to be sure which annoyed her. I am not ashamed. I can't imagine dating a girl younger than 18. I thought dating a 16yr old when i was 18 kinda disgusting. I don't know why a grown man would want to
 
Robin

Robin

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Oct 25, 2017
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My best friend dated a guy in his mid 20s when she was a like 16, it was very uncomfortable and I had a sense that it was wrong and even told my parents about it but no one ever really intervened or anything. I have a lot of guilt about not speaking up more about it. We all just thought it was cool to hang out with old dudes that had their own apartments and all of the video games. It's really disturbing to think about really, :\ .
 
Puck Beaverton

Puck Beaverton

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Oct 25, 2017
8,354
Gordita Beach
I had a friend who was 13 that made out with an 17 year old once. She was cute.

I generally tried going for the juniors and seniors in high school. Failed every time.
 

RogerK

Banned
Feb 3, 2018
296
Well this one dude named Macron dated his teacher when he was 15 and she was 39. They're happily married now and he's the President of France so I guess things worked out for them! As for me, largest gap I've dated was 10 years (both adults though). It's hard to judge without knowing the relationship first hand but (in general) what you describe has always struck me as a bit creepy.
 
MonadL

MonadL

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Oct 25, 2017
4,888
I remember one of my friends during my junior year of high school bragging how she was dating a 32-year old with kids. Even brought him to prom. She was 16.
 
The_Land

The_Land

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Oct 27, 2017
2,390
Cleveland Ohio
I'm 39 and all the mid to late 20's girls are all about me on Tinder. Being in shape and not having any kids is the perfect combo for girls that age that are sick of fuck boys
 
BocoDragon

BocoDragon

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Oct 26, 2017
5,207
I'll generalize hardcore here, but this sounds like a girl/gay men thing. No women in college or older wants gawky grade school boys. If you did date up as a straight guy, I'll give you credit for being hot or unusually mature beyond your years.
 
Violence Jack

Violence Jack

Drive-in Mutant
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Oct 25, 2017
41,767
I also never went on a single date in high school, and I'm not counting senior prom. But not a month after I graduated, the floodgates opened. I started out dating a 25 year old, a 21 year old, and a 29 year old all within the span of a year.
 
Chojin

Chojin

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Oct 26, 2017
2,625
There were a few sophmores with boyfriends from Quantico when I lived in VA. Squicky.

Then again maybe I'm just square. I used to make fun of fellow seniors that dated freshmen.

And here I am 5 years older than my wife :p

Granted she was 28 and I was 33 when I met her.
 
Deception

Deception

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Nov 15, 2017
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My friends Ex boyfriend became at teacher at my local high school and actually cheated on my friend with one of his students a month after she graduated. He is 27 and she is 18. One of the creepiest things I've ever heard of and I have no doubt they were doing stuff while she was still a student.
 

haimon

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Nov 22, 2017
291
When I was in college I was 20 and a girl told me she was 19 and ended up being 16.

I was pissed when I found out.
 
VorpalNonsense

VorpalNonsense

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Oct 25, 2017
14,651
When I was 15 I had an 19 year old girlfriend. Lots of high fives from the guys.
Now I look back and I'm like...wut. That's weird. She ended up being kind of fucked up though so I guess it all makes sense now.
 

Deleted member 14900

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Oct 27, 2017
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As a sophomore, I remember a 25 year old guy that was a cousin of my best friend being a little too close on visits. One time he mentioned something I wore at school. I mean, I just chalked it up to him picking up his family and I happened to be there, but it still crosses my mind from time to time. Ugh, after typing it, that is pretty gross.

Other than that, I wasn't interested in people until a year or so after high school.
 
H.Protagonist

H.Protagonist

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Oct 26, 2017
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Drizzle-Drizzle-Rain-Land, England
I didn't think anything odd of it at the time, but the only guys who were interested in me were always at least 10 years older. I briefly saw a 27 year old, a 29 year old, and had a couple of dates with a 36 year old when I was 17 and then 18. I was already in college then, though, so it didn't seem so weird. Seems kinda eh now, I guess.
 
Chrome Hyena

Chrome Hyena

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Oct 30, 2017
8,769
Yeah. I lost my virginity to a 30 year old woman when I was 15. She was a business woman and friend of my mother's . My mom doesn't know of course but yeah. I "dated" her till I was 17.
 
SturokBGD

SturokBGD

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Oct 25, 2017
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Important to remember the age of consent in the US is higher than many other Western countries, for example in Canada age of consent is 16 with a "close-in-age" exception. Americans fear sexuality for some reason.
 
Hollywood Duo

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Oct 25, 2017
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Yeah it's almost always the creepy loser who hangs around younger women. It was obvious to me they weren't mentally capable of dealing with women their own age.
 

Deleted member 887

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Oct 25, 2017
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Robin said:
My best friend dated a guy in his mid 20s when she was a like 16, it was very uncomfortable and I had a sense that it was wrong and even told my parents about it but no one ever really intervened or anything. I have a lot of guilt about not speaking up more about it. We all just thought it was cool to hang out with old dudes that had their own apartments and all of the video games. It's really disturbing to think about really, :\ .
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It really is. Even along with that train of thought. When I was high school, me like I'm sure many others went to college parties. At the time you really don't consider it, but these are people in their 20's. And there is always even older people at these parties. It's just crazy to think how "normal" all of this is.

But back to your point. You're right. No one with any authority ever really intervenes. And usually they know what's going on.
 
infinitebento

infinitebento

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Oct 25, 2017
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I dated guys my age group when I was in high school mostly.

It wasn't until I dropped out at 16 that I started seeing someone who was 20/hanging out with dudes in their later 20's.

Shits real weird when I think about it.
 

Deleted member 9479

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Oct 26, 2017
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Not me, but senior year my on/off love interest I never really could let go of for years was dating a 27 year old. She was 17. It felt wrong then and feels even more wrong now.
 
One Eyed Willy

One Eyed Willy

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Oct 30, 2017
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I always dated younger, but only like a year or two. It seemed most girls my age were never interested in guys their age for all the obvious reasons.
 

jviggy43

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Oct 28, 2017
18,184
when i was a freshmen i dated a jr and then dated a 24 year old when I was 18 but had just gotten out of high school on summer break.
 
Enduin

Enduin

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Oct 25, 2017
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A number of girls I grew up with lost their virginity at like 13/14 to guys that were 16-19, which I always thought was super creepy and messed up. None of my guy friends ever hooked up with anyone more than a year younger than us as far as I know and lost their virginity to people in our class/age or older. And no one I knew of actually really dated anyone more than a year or two older than them though and that wasn't until later on when we were 16/17.
 
NealMcCauley

NealMcCauley

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Oct 27, 2017
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My sister dated someone around 4-5 years older than her from junior year of hs until a little before she turned 21 and dumped him. After she broke up with another guy a few years later he sent her a dozen roses. She cut off all contact.
 
OP
OP

Deleted member 4034

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Oct 25, 2017
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SturokBGD said:
Important to remember the age of consent in the US is higher than many other Western countries, for example in Canada age of consent is 16 with a "close-in-age" exception. Americans fear sexuality for some reason.
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Click to shrink...
We go state by state here. Some have it at 16, some have it 18. We have the close in age thing as well. 16 to 23 is legal where I live. Doesn't mean it's not creepy in some cases.

What I'm talking about has nothing to do with fearing sexuality.
 

Deleted member 9838

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So is it normal to want to date women who are like 20-24 into your late 30s? I'm in my mid twenties and I dont see myself wanting to date older than that anytime soon.
 

Snack12367

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Oct 28, 2017
3,191
At Uni I used to hang out with a guy who's best friend was 22, but went out with a 16 year old. Legal in the UK, but it felt weird when I thought about it and still does.

To me there is a wealth a difference between a 16 and 18 year old. 18-20 again. I suppose it doesn't help that even today I think 16 year olds are some of the most obnoxious and oblivious people you'll ever meet.
 
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