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Your long time SO reveals to you they want to have live sex with someone else in front of you for your entertainment and pleasure. Your reaction?

Your reaction?

  • I am horrfied. pretty sure I chose the wrong partner

  • I guess I could change an initial "WTF?!" reaction into a cautious "go on, tell me more"

  • I wished that would happen, I've been waiting a long time for it but I don't expect it any time soon

  • It happens fairly often in our relationship, it's fine

  • no reaction, I just wouldn't want it to happen.

Results are only viewable after voting.
Tater

Tater

Member
Oct 30, 2017
2,589
There is middle ground here. The hypothetical SO is taking a risk and being straight forward, you should at least appreciate that. Assuming good intentions, be glad that your SO wants to do something special for you. r/deadbedrooms has a lot of unhappy people.

I'd want to know why they were interested, and why they thought it was for my pleasure. There might be a way to meet that desire that goes with what you like.

Personally, I'm down with monogamy, so my answer would be "no thanks". But maybe they just want the voyeuristic aspect of it? What about putting some masks on, making a sex tape, and putting it on Pornhub or something?

It's entirely possible you both want different things and are incompatible, but you've got to talk to the other person to see if there might be a way to make everyone hapy.
 
Nooblet

Nooblet

Member
Oct 25, 2017
13,632
To sit and watch? No not really my thing.

To get involved myself ? Yea sure, I'd imagine there'd be a give and take in the sense that if I ask for a MFF then there'd be a chance that she asks for a MFM later...but it's cool to explore.

Polymerization said:
Open relationships usually crash and burn shortly after formation. It's a huge red flag if your partner proposes it- usually a coverup for them to get away with the fact that they've been cheating on you for months. Abort mission.
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I feel this may not necessarily qualify as open relationship as there's no feelings or romance involved in this scenario. An open relationship to me would be one where both partners agree to share their body as well as mind with someone else other than each other. Like people who are into swinging, or couples who've tried threesomes, foursomes etc wouldn't automatically be considered to be in an open relationship simply because they have had sex with people other than each other.
 
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Sphinx

Sphinx

Member
Nov 29, 2017
2,377
ok let assume, our SOs are in deep love with us and do NOT want to cheat or hurt us.

they won't make a move without our consent, ever.

In that case, I guess I could try to have empathy?

like instead of thinking "you are filth, bye" I'd try to think if I've felt the same at some point, have had kinky fantasies I've had to keep to myself for fear of a break-up, and probably open up "the talk" and just keep listening.

like maybe it was an idea "and yeah that's a nope" from you will suffice for them to quit asking for it.
 
Mathieran

Mathieran

Member
Oct 25, 2017
12,861
If my wife realized she was bi I could be fine with her having sex with a woman, but no other men.
 
StarStorm

StarStorm

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
7,599
No. I wouldn't want to share her with other men and hopefully she feels the same way with me and other women. If she is hellbent on having other sexual partners, then its over. Only exception if she's bi. I would be okay if she was with other women, just not men.
 

Stayfone

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
340
I'd be happy that she shared her kink with me as this could be very embarrassing to her. Id be interested to know what exactly it is that gets her so excited from this particular act. Id try to understand her point of view and then explain her mine. My point of view is that this isnt something im in to, nor would it be in the realm of possibilities for the foreseeable future (and id explain in detail as to why that is). I would try however to find some kind of common ground; can she still get her kink in a way thats also acceptable to me? If her kink is more important then the relationship we would have a talk about going our separate ways as i dont want her to settle for something shes not comfortable with.
 
Nightbird

Nightbird

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
3,780
Germany
Okay, look.

I am monogamous, but I am capable of trying new things.

My problem with this particular scenario is the fact that my partner brought this up thinking thati would like to watch.

I don't.

I can see myself trying an open relationship. I definitely can't see myself being the audience for my partners sexual adventures.

So no, definitely no.
 
Herb Alpert

Herb Alpert

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
9,033
Paris, France
Nope.
That wouldn't turn me on at all.
Also I don't think it's her thing. Though she kind of admited once she'd like to watch with me people having sex, but I'm not really into that...
 

Deleted member 33533

Banned
Nov 17, 2017
12,864
I would not be for it but I wish there was an option between having no reaction and being horrified. Like I would definitely feel some sort of way about it but horrified is too extreme and a non-reaction is on the complete opposite side of the spectrum.


TinTuba47 said:
Really surprised at the number of dudes in this thread who have no interest in having a MFF threesome with their lady.

I thought that was an incredibly common male fantasy
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It's a cliche that isn't as accurate as people make it seem but also fantasies are fantasies for a reason. They don't always have to translate into being something you would do if given the chance or actively pursue.
 
Dragoon

Dragoon

Banned
Oct 31, 2017
11,231
Why is there not an option of 'break up immediately and cut all conversation with them'
 

Deleted member 198

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
12,319
Stayfone said:
I'd be happy that she shared her kink with me as this could be very embarrassing to her. Id be interested to know what exactly it is that gets her so excited from this particular act. Id try to understand her point of view and then explain her mine. My point of view is that this isnt something im in to, nor would it be in the realm of possibilities for the foreseeable future (and id explain in detail as to why that is). I would try however to find some kind of common ground; can she still get her kink in a way thats also acceptable to me? If her kink is more important then the relationship we would have a talk about going our separate ways as i dont want her to settle for something shes not comfortable with.
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Yeah this is the most reasonable response, and I'm kind of shocked at how many posts would instantly shut down any discussion and immediately drop their SO
 
El Bombastico

El Bombastico

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
36,039
+_58972a87be69f547290805a01253993a.png
 

Deleted member 9932

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
5,711
for my entertainment? my so would get fucked for my entertainment and pleasure? the hell is this question
I would understand the question if she proposed that I fucked someone in front of her for my entertainment, but I don't think cuckoldry is something most men aspire or enjoy.
 
Antrax

Antrax

Member
Oct 25, 2017
13,283
None of the options really fit for me. We're open but I'm not really a watcher. Don't really do the voyeur thing. So I'd just be kinda bored. If it was their thing to be watched, then I'd consider it.
 
Lord Fanny

Lord Fanny

Banned
Apr 25, 2020
25,953
I'm not going to say everyone in here is lying by the rules actually set forth in the OP, but if you really had literal control over not just who your SO was going to mess around with including what your full involvement it, I'll just say...I think there are some fibbers in this thread ;)
 
Threadkular

Threadkular

Member
Dec 29, 2017
2,416
That's a no from me, but funny thing is it's actually mostly based on me having trust issues with other men due and really despising other dudes to my shitty relationship with my father. I'd generally do anything for my wife.

I go to a lot of therapy.
 
Powdered Egg

Powdered Egg

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
17,070
This goes to show who reads titles and who reads OPs.

This would be hot, I'd last 3 minutes and watch the rest.
 
BLEEN

BLEEN

Member
Oct 27, 2017
21,890
Lord Fanny said:
I'm not going to say everyone in here is lying by the rules actually set forth in the OP, but if you really had literal control over not just who your SO was going to mess around with including what your full involvement it, I'll just say...I think there are some fibbers in this thread ;)
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I clicked everything because chaos rules. Just not in my bed. :(

Edit* Someone here used the term cuckbait? LMAO
 
carlsojo

carlsojo

Member
Oct 28, 2017
33,816
San Francisco
Kegels said:
how hard or easy was it to get the point mentally where you were fine with this

or were you fine with it going in
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When we first started talking about playing with other people and swinging, it was very easy to *talk* about but less easy for me to put into practice. A lot of that was from my social anxiety (I would be too nervous to meet people) and there was definitely a component of jealousy I had to overcome.

It took about six months for me to work up the courage to go to a party where we watched others play, then it progressed to playing in front of others at a future party, then playing with others and so on.

Took me probably a year or more to work up the courage to go on dates, but from there it was smooth sailing. I invited another dude to our airbnb for my birthday and it was a hell of a lot of fun.

She had an easier time with it because she's an extrovert.
 
JoeInky

JoeInky

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,383
Don't really fit into any of those options.

It's something we've talked about a lot and definitely will be doing, but we haven't done it yet. I know she's already been scouting other people now and then, I've just left it up to her my one stipulation was that as long as it's not with guys I'm fine either way.


I guess you could say I don't expect it any time soon, but that's only because of the lockdown going on.
 
Powdered Egg

Powdered Egg

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
17,070
TinTuba47 said:
Really surprised at the number of dudes in this thread who have no interest in having a MFF threesome with their lady.

I thought that was an incredibly common male fantasy
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Performance anxiety, fear of not being able to top a group session during 1 on 1, and fear of ones lady leaving for that other person.
 
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Fatoy

Fatoy

Member
Mar 13, 2019
7,225
If it's for MY entertainment and pleasure, I'd probably just say "I don't really think that will bring me any pleasure," but I'd at least give it some more thought. It's never crossed my mind before, so I guess there's the possibility - however unlikely - that I'd enjoy it.

If it was for HER pleasure, I'd probably be slightly more open to it. Still not an idea I feel like I'd enjoy right now, but I suppose I might entertain it.
 
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