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Fat4all

Woke up, got a money tag, swears a lot
Member
Oct 25, 2017
92,598
here
carry two wallets

if you get mugged, throw the wallets in two different directions, and while the mugger is confused, furiously make out with them

get your tongue down their throat
 

Fiction

Fanthropologist
Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,727
Elf Tower, New Mexico
Whenever you drop something - anything that's not too heavy - immediately move your foot under roughly where it will land.

Takes some reflexes, but I can't tell you how many mugs, phones, plates, glasses, etc, I've saved just by quickly cushioning or deflecting their fall with my foot.

It sounds like nothing but it just slows the fall enough to stave off like any damage.


I'm pretty naturally reaching this point atm
I do this without thinking no matter what I drop or if I am wearing shoes and have hurt myself several times because of it.
Once did it on reflex trying to catch a dropped pencil and stabbed a pencil into my wrist because it hit my chair first :(
 

T0M

Alt-Account
Banned
Aug 13, 2019
900
When re-heating food in the microwave, put a ceramic cup inside with a small amount of water inside. The water will evaporate while heating and re-hydrate your food.

If you get the temptation to make an impulse buy, wait a week. If you still want it, then buy it.

When dieting, try and have a treat day at least once a week. It makes relapses a lot less harder since you're not going cold turkey.

Use a candle warmer to heat your queso/salsa before opening.

When looking for free software, don't google "Free," Google "open source."

Never leave home without your phone, your wallet, and your keys.

Keep social media use to a minimum. Comparison to others lowers self-esteem.
 

molnizzle

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
17,695
There was a thread at the old place called "Life changing hotdog advice" that consisted of nothing but this video:



I can confirm that my life was changed. Nearly a decade of perfect, condiment-soaked hotdogs.
 

Bear

Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,862
8xZA8UR.jpg
I legit do this and it works.
 

bananab

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,854
Whenever you drop something - anything that's not too heavy - immediately move your foot under roughly where it will land.

Takes some reflexes, but I can't tell you how many mugs, phones, plates, glasses, etc, I've saved just by quickly cushioning or deflecting their fall with my foot.

It sounds like nothing but it just slows the fall enough to stave off like any damage.


I'm pretty naturally reaching this point atm

Variant: "a dropped knife has no handle" (never try to catch / interfere with a falling knife)
 

Abstrusity

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,656
Whenever you drop something - anything that's not too heavy - immediately move your foot under roughly where it will land.

Takes some reflexes, but I can't tell you how many mugs, phones, plates, glasses, etc, I've saved just by quickly cushioning or deflecting their fall with my foot.

It sounds like nothing but it just slows the fall enough to stave off like any damage.


I'm pretty naturally reaching this point atm
My sister did that one and kicked her iphone through a window.

It was amusing though, so added to the list.
 

Pwnz

Member
Oct 28, 2017
14,279
Places
Take 10mg of melatonin immediately before you sleep. You'll get way more deep sleep which apparently is what prevents alzheimers.
 

krae_man

Master of Balan Wonderworld
Member
Oct 25, 2017
9,594
carry two wallets

if you get mugged, throw the wallets in two different directions, and while the mugger is confused, furiously make out with them

get your tongue down their throat

I thought you were going the Vegas Stakes route for a second. Put half your money in each wallet, that way if you get pickpocketed, they only get 1/2 your money.
 

Pwnz

Member
Oct 28, 2017
14,279
Places
Learn how to cook breakfast. Every breakfast place has an hour wait on weekends and most are cooked by people that have no idea what they're doing. Good a good pan, clarified butter, eggs, spatulas, chopped veggies and you can make a better omelet and avoid all the bullshit about which restaurant to waste your morning waiting at.
 

FlintSpace

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
2,817
I put a knife by my toilet seat so whenever a huge turd is having drainage problem I can cut it in two for ease.
I read that somewhere.
 

Acorn

Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,972
Scotland
Whenever you drop something - anything that's not too heavy - immediately move your foot under roughly where it will land.

Takes some reflexes, but I can't tell you how many mugs, phones, plates, glasses, etc, I've saved just by quickly cushioning or deflecting their fall with my foot.

It sounds like nothing but it just slows the fall enough to stave off like any damage.


I'm pretty naturally reaching this point atm
I do this with everything, I'm not sure how I've not broken the bone from my big toe to my ankle multiple times.
 

Horo

Banned
Nov 17, 2017
590
Feeling tired and have trouble concentrating? Just put some water on your eyelids.
 

Idde

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,660
Whenever you drop something - anything that's not too heavy - immediately move your foot under roughly where it will land.

Takes some reflexes, but I can't tell you how many mugs, phones, plates, glasses, etc, I've saved just by quickly cushioning or deflecting their fall with my foot.

It sounds like nothing but it just slows the fall enough to stave off like any damage.


I'm pretty naturally reaching this point atm

I taught this myself stocking shelves at the local supermarket. Worked fine on my own usual isle with coffee and tea products. No heavy stuff. Then I had to work the isle with heavy soup cans with hard edges, and the reflex had already sunken in...
 
Oct 26, 2017
952
Put a glass of water in the microwave with pizza if you dont want to use a pan.

I use the same technique for using the oven. If you already knew how to make baguettes you are familiar with using a pot of water or contain water on the bottom. If I do not have a container I just throw water into a hot oven while using 3d air function. I also drizzle water for the crust not to get too dry.

Life changer for eating all left overs that end up a bit dry over night.
 
Oct 26, 2017
3,915
If you're making popcorn on a stove, but don't have specific "tools" (like a popcorn maker), use the combination of a pan and and instead of a lid, a metal sieve. The Sieve allows moisture to escape which would otherwise lead to chewy popcorn!
 

Vern

Banned
Oct 26, 2017
5,097
My hacks:

- Earn more than I spend
- travel more, work less
- always use a rubber or pull out, no matter what she says
 

Perzeval

Prophet of Truth
Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
10,536
Sweden
If you put your hand in a small plastic bag before you wipe you don't need to waste time washing your hands afterwards.
 

Dixie Flatline

alt account
Banned
Sep 4, 2019
1,892
New Orleans
If you ever want a "nice" guy to stop talking to you without telling him off, ask him if he knows anyone that sells coke and then get frustrated when he says no. If he talks or texts you back later, ask him if any of his friends have good fighting dogs. Make your life look like a train wreck and his idea of you will shatter and he'll move on.
 

Fiction

Fanthropologist
Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,727
Elf Tower, New Mexico
If you ever want a "nice" guy to stop talking to you without telling him off, ask him if he knows anyone that sells coke and then get frustrated when he says no. If he talks or texts you back later, ask him if any of his friends have good fighting dogs. Make your life look like a train wreck and his idea of you will shatter and he'll move on.
This...
This is beautiful
 
Oct 25, 2017
22,378
carry two wallets

if you get mugged, throw the wallets in two different directions, and while the mugger is confused, furiously make out with them

get your tongue down their throat
I can vouch for this, it's how I met my wife

If you ever want a "nice" guy to stop talking to you without telling him off, ask him if he knows anyone that sells coke and then get frustrated when he says no. If he talks or texts you back later, ask him if any of his friends have good fighting dogs. Make your life look like a train wreck and his idea of you will shatter and he'll move on.
Or you make him think that he has to "save" you and surely you will fall for him in the process
 

Dan Thunder

Member
Nov 2, 2017
14,020
When you reheat pasta stir through some hot water and a pinch of salt after it's heated through. Can't tell you how many times I see people at work chewy through the most claggy lump of pasta you could imagine.

Leftover bagged salad makes a surprisingly nice pesto if you blitz it up with some olive oil, garlic and parmesan.

You can buy magnetic pots that will stick on your fridge to store your dried herbs & spices.

these-magnetic-spice-tins-organize-right-on-your-refrigerator-thumb.jpg


I've managed to clear out a whole shelf for other stuff just by doing that.
 
Mar 29, 2018
7,078
Take 10mg of melatonin immediately before you sleep. You'll get way more deep sleep which apparently is what prevents alzheimers.
What? Sketchy advice.

There isn't enough research on melatonin so while it's useful to escape jet lag or catch sleep when you REALLY need to, there are some indications it messes with various functions in our body.

To boot, sleeping too much greatly increases your chances of having a stroke, and melatonin puts some people to sleep for a long time.

Alzheimer's risk is mostly genetic, but highly impacted by not exercising enough in middle age (being sedentary), eating too much sugar/carbs, and yes sleeping too irregularly/little (like 5 hours a night or at totally different times every night).

Edit: melatonin also takes 30-60 minutes to take effect and no more than 6mg should be necessary, unless you have built a tolerance to it.

Your brain naturally produces melatonin if your eyes don't detect light, so the real life hack here is simply to not look at any screens 30 mins before bed.
 
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Acorn

Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,972
Scotland
If you ever want a "nice" guy to stop talking to you without telling him off, ask him if he knows anyone that sells coke and then get frustrated when he says no. If he talks or texts you back later, ask him if any of his friends have good fighting dogs. Make your life look like a train wreck and his idea of you will shatter and he'll move on.
My first reaction seeing this was "everyone knows someone who deals coke or atleast knows someone who knows someone who deals".

I don't know what that says about me.
 
Mar 29, 2018
7,078
Sniff the crotch area of your underwear if you're unsure whether or not its clean.
Jokes aside, the average westerner wastes thousands of gallons of water a year overwashing their clothes when the items probably have a couple more wears in them.

For the good of the Earth, definitely make the effort to sniff jeans and other items to see if they REALLY need to go in the wash before you use them.
 

Pwnz

Member
Oct 28, 2017
14,279
Places
What? Sketchy advice.

There isn't enough research on melatonin so while it's useful to escape jet lag or catch sleep when you REALLY need to, there are some indications it messes with various functions in our body.

To boot, sleeping too much greatly increases your chances of having a stroke, and melatonin puts some people to sleep for a long time.

Alzheimer's risk is mostly genetic, but highly impacted by not exercising enough in middle age (being sedentary), eating too much sugar/carbs, and yes sleeping too irregularly/little (like 5 hours a night or at totally different times every night).

Edit: melatonin also takes 30-60 minutes to take effect and no more than 6mg should be necessary, unless you have built a tolerance to it.

Your brain naturally produces melatonin if your eyes don't detect light, so the real life hack here is simply to not look at any screens 30 mins before bed.

There's a neurobiologist specializing in sleep that recommends this. Says a lot of the research is beginning to shift to lack of restorative, deep sleep causing cellular waste heavily also with alzheimers to not be cleaned up. It's not just screens, any of the blue light kills melatonin production and if you knock yourself out after exposure to blue light it takes 3 hours to build up the natural levels of melatonin.

Maybe I got the immediately before bed part wrong, but the neurologist's name is Matthew Walker - you can google talks he's given about it.
 
Last edited:
Jun 10, 2018
8,824
I find it oddly amusing that what are now being touted as "life hacks" were demonized as "low-class" or "ghetto" when black people did it.
 

MrNewVegas

Member
Oct 27, 2017
10,707
Banks charge expensive fees. Keeping your money at home is at risk of theft of fire. So I found the ultimate solution. Deposit your money at GameStop. Throw all your money down on preorders. Whenever you need cash just go in and cancel a few preorders.You won't pay any fees and if your lucky they might give you some preorder bonuses.
 

hank_tree

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Oct 26, 2017
2,596
Banks charge expensive fees. Keeping your money at home is at risk of theft of fire. So I found the ultimate solution. Deposit your money at GameStop. Throw all your money down on preorders. Whenever you need cash just go in and cancel a few preorders.You won't pay any fees and if your lucky they might give you some preorder bonuses.
GameStop might not be the most financially secure place to keep your cash.
 

SliceSabre

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,556
For us guys: When cleaning up after jerking off use cold water instead of warm/hot water. That way it doesn't turn into a glue-like consistency.
 

LosDaddie

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
3,622
Longwood, FL
Exercise in the mornings. Bare minimum should be a morning jog.

Sets you up for a productive day šŸ˜ƒ
 

Gawge

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,625
Whenever you go to do a food shop, go straight to the bakery section (normally at the back) and get a big loaf of freshly baked bread. Then put the loaf in the child seat of the trolley and rip off chunks to eat as you go around.

Makes you less likely to impulse buy because you aren't as hungry, and you're eating one of the tastiest/best smelling things in the store

I have also sometimes doubled it up with a jar of jam/nutella. Make sure it's well secured in the child seat.

People look on with envy every time that I have hacked the shopping experience.