WTF is Jesus invincible?! (The Holy Bible book spoilers!)

[halcali]

Yo!

I'm about 70% through reading THE BIBLE (page 1069) and Jesus has just reappeared after seemingly being felled by Judas.

Couldn't Jesus have prevented the assassination?? If he is all-knowing, all-seeing, all-present then he could easily have just flown into heave and blessed the meek!

 

[Link the Hero]

lol

 

[Ferrio]

Someone help that man find his contact lens.

 

[NinjaScooter]

Jesus is too OP. You can't write a good Jesus story

 

[Crossing Eden]

Lmaoooo

 

[Philippo]

I'm sorry but I'm gonna need DBZ comparisons to understand how truly invincible Jesus is.

 

[KtotheRoc]

Jesus is way too perfect! Unbelievable!

 

[Kwigo]

ARE YOU SERIOUSLY SPOILING THIS IN THE THREAD TITLE ????

 

[Kewlmyc]

So OP, they had to write him out of the story. In the corniest way possible too.

 

[MidnightCowboy]

 

[Amalthea]

Jesus is clearly an undead, so unless you kill him in the right way he will always rise again.

 

[davepoobond]

can't wait for the CW adaptation of this YA novel

or is it the spiritual successor to Breaking Bad and Walking Dead for A&E?

 

[Mr.Arrow]

You're like 2000 years too late OP

 

[fanboi]

Jesus Christ!

 

[Aurica]

Jesus is too OP. You can't write a good Jesus story

Click to shrink...

People keep asking for a Jesus game, but the one on N64 was garbage, and I think that shows just how hard he would be to adapt for the medium. You'd have to nerf his powers a ton.

 

[Lionel Mandrake]

Jesus can only be defeated if Brendan Fraser hits him with a chair.

 

[hom3land]

He found out he was too early for the chicken sandwich wars and decided to go home.

 

[Carvel]

I didn't like that there's never a thorough explanation of the degrees of his superpowers and where they originate from. Yeah, they mention that he's gods son a few times, but like... what set of powers does come with that. How often can he use them? Like, once a day, like the Vancian system and then he has to take a long rest?

After the first seven pages the world building is really lacking in that regard...

 

[Grug]

The Virgin Mary is such a Mary Sue.

 

[kurahador]

Death Battle: Jesus vs Gandalf

 

[Operations]

The plot needed a twist. Brazen invincibility is just poor story development.

 

[halcali]

He found out he was too early for the chicken sandwich wars and decided to go home.

Click to shrink...

McDonald's will win. You'll see!!!

 

[Yossarian]

The power creep is ridiculous.

 

[molnizzle]

Such a Gary Stu. Book has no steaks. "Don't worry, jesus will save you." Lazy ass writing.

 

[Yossarian]

Death Battle: Jesus vs Gandalf

Click to shrink...

 

[Yuli Ban]

I think OP is Jesus, concern trolling about how He's portrayed.

 

[Apophis]

Omg Spoilers! Not everyone is that far already 😡

 

[Liyfda]

Really? Bro, don't put spoilers in the title... I'm only up to Ruth...

 

[Septimus Prime]

Dude is written like he's God or something.

 

[Sanka]

Lmaoo

 

[halcali]

Jesus is too OP. You can't write a good Jesus story

Click to shrink...

Tell that to the widow of Charlston Hestin!!

 

[Deleted member 5491]

Jesus fucking christ, what a twist!

 

[AstralTurfWarrior]

Death Battle: Jesus vs Gandalf

Click to shrink...

You mean Galdalf

 

[Dreavus]

He died on purpose so he could wrong warp to hell and unlock purgatory. He needs that for the true ending which comes later. He keeps missing His doomsday splits though, not sure why He hasn't reset yet. I think people still think this is "the run" but I dunno, not convinced yet.

 

[Kewlmyc]

McDonald's will win. You'll see!!!

Click to shrink...

Yet that's clearly the Popeyes Chicken Sandwich.

Go home, OP, you're drunk.

 

[Username1198]

For the son of god, he sure is a son of a-woaaahhhhh

 

[Hyun Sai]

Yep. Even this guy kept coming back by just looking like him.

 

[halcali]

Yep. Even this guy kept coming back by just looking like him.

Click to shrink...

I wonder who he side with in the Chicken Wars.

 

[diakyu]

Just wait man shit ends on a to be continued that hasn't been resolved even after all these centuries. It's bullshit man when's The Bible 2

 

[Keywork]

I wonder who he side with in the Chicken Wars.

Click to shrink...

He's for the Republic! For Democracy!

Only a Sith deals in absolute best chicken sandwiches.

 

[hom3land]

McDonald's will win. You'll see!!!

Click to shrink...

Popeyes and Chicfila are clearly the right answer.


....and now we know why there are denominations.

 

[Knight613]

It's not even the weekend yet.

 

[Regulus Tera]

Jesus is cool but his fanbase is fucking toxic

 

[Baladium]

(page 1069)

Click to shrink...

Nice.

 

[halcali]

Jesus is cool but his fanbase is fucking toxic

Click to shrink...

you're going to hell

 

[Imperial Bishop]

Jesus needs a nerf.

 

[NightShift]

Jesus is cool but still a mary sue.

 

[Droidian]

Just wait until you see what happens 40 days later, then on the 50th day it gets crazy with His Disciples being accused of being drunks!

 

[Rassilon]

Yep. Even this guy kept coming back by just looking like him.

Click to shrink...

 

[Previously on Lost]

jesus fucking christ spoiler warning dude. I just got to the part where Steve Carrel is building a boat