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Wow - My Era folks, how many friends do you honestly have?
- Thread starter Golding
- Start date
I have several but it does get way harder to make friends in your 30s. I've seen this first hand with my wife who is friends with my friends but she hasn't really made strong friendships outside of that.
She'll meet people at work but then they end up having kids or they already have kids and can never hang out. It's frustrating as we don't have children and it's kinda like looking into another world.
But if the pandemic wasn't around I'd suggest finding local groups who do hobbies you like or maybe take adult education classes for a skill (electrical class, bicycle repair). The local tech school has programs like that. Or book clubs.
She'll meet people at work but then they end up having kids or they already have kids and can never hang out. It's frustrating as we don't have children and it's kinda like looking into another world.
But if the pandemic wasn't around I'd suggest finding local groups who do hobbies you like or maybe take adult education classes for a skill (electrical class, bicycle repair). The local tech school has programs like that. Or book clubs.
In Person "Hang out" friends - Zero anymore, when I was younger sure... now I just hang with my Wife
In Person "Work" friends - 5-6 at least, and I will occasionally do outings with them for fun, but the connection is still based in work.
Online "Social Media" friends - Lots, but less than 5 that I regularly chat with.
Online "Gaming" friends - Again, lots, but maybe 2 that I regularly play with.
When I was in my 20's I had probably dozens of friends that I hung out with almost daily. Once we all go older and started our own families, a lot of that dropped away.
In Person "Work" friends - 5-6 at least, and I will occasionally do outings with them for fun, but the connection is still based in work.
Online "Social Media" friends - Lots, but less than 5 that I regularly chat with.
Online "Gaming" friends - Again, lots, but maybe 2 that I regularly play with.
When I was in my 20's I had probably dozens of friends that I hung out with almost daily. Once we all go older and started our own families, a lot of that dropped away.
Uh...this is gonna sound weird, but I could probably label around 80+ people as active friends. If you include "people I see sometimes at parties sometimes and are friendly toward", maybe 150.
That said, I'm a hyper extrovert in a creative field that requires networking in Los Angeles.
That said, I'm a hyper extrovert in a creative field that requires networking in Los Angeles.
I would say about 6 or 7, but only 3 or so that I would speak to daily. I've known all of them at least for 8 years and two of them I've known for about 30 years.
All of my modern friends are work friends, one from a previous job and the rest from my current one. I'd say I have about three friends I would actively hang out with if I got a new job tomorrow, about 3 more I'd keep in contact with through texting, and a couple of nebulous social media keep up friends beyond that.
I'm the sort of person who's very content to have just two good friends at any time, so I'm usually pretty content.
I'm the sort of person who's very content to have just two good friends at any time, so I'm usually pretty content.
I'm male and late 30's, have kids of my own and most of my lifelong friends do too. We all live in different cities and while we don't hang out anymore, are still friends despite not talking to each other for any reason for years. for me and my male friends, we do not chat or meet to catch up, that is... not necessary. a text here or there with "did you get the new PS5" is the extent of it and that's how we all prefer it. Not even online gaming
For people I hang out with, they are friends my wife and I made together. We've also made friends with the parents of the kids' friends from school. Covid aside, as for people I would actually invite over for board gaming or D&D, it's like 6 people. For a party, probably 10-15 people would show up, especially if we were meeting for dinner or an activity of some sort; escape room, bowling alley, arcade, etc.
I am good with these numbers, but as for the OP asking how do you make friends? I would probably start with coworkers, I work in IT and the office is large enough that there's plenty of people there that share the same interests as me. Make it a group thing, covid aside again, it could be drinks on Friday or tennis/basketball/etc. if you have access to courts. Cycling, hiking, whatever you're into. Not everyone will accept and that's OK; they might have kids and don't want to hire a sitter, or they might want to bring the kids, you'll have to decide if you want that or not
For people I hang out with, they are friends my wife and I made together. We've also made friends with the parents of the kids' friends from school. Covid aside, as for people I would actually invite over for board gaming or D&D, it's like 6 people. For a party, probably 10-15 people would show up, especially if we were meeting for dinner or an activity of some sort; escape room, bowling alley, arcade, etc.
I am good with these numbers, but as for the OP asking how do you make friends? I would probably start with coworkers, I work in IT and the office is large enough that there's plenty of people there that share the same interests as me. Make it a group thing, covid aside again, it could be drinks on Friday or tennis/basketball/etc. if you have access to courts. Cycling, hiking, whatever you're into. Not everyone will accept and that's OK; they might have kids and don't want to hire a sitter, or they might want to bring the kids, you'll have to decide if you want that or not
My girlfriend is my best friend. Outside of that and family, all I have are acquaintances and that's enough for me. Don't really have the time to spend with a lot of people.
Oh of course my dog. Dog's are human's best friend so I shouldn't leave him out lol.
Oh of course my dog. Dog's are human's best friend so I shouldn't leave him out lol.
Thanks to Meetup I've been hanging out with a small group of around 10 people every two weeks through the pandemic, from a larger anime meetup group that met before that point.
Meetup is your friend now that things are opening back up.
Meetup is your friend now that things are opening back up.
I have three good friends whom I spend time with mano a mano or mano a womano. Maybe a dozen or so friends that I hang out with in larger groups outside of that, and the old band of "mates" that gets together a few times a year to drink irresponsibly.
I don't have any online friends. I can't socialize via text for shit.
I don't have any online friends. I can't socialize via text for shit.
If Discord friends count, then everyone in Action Figure Era that's not Haloid1177.
He's mean and has bad taste.
He's mean and has bad taste.
I'd say so. The Meetup has its own discord so we stay in touch pretty well between actually seeing each other. It's like having high school friends again, except that I actually have stuff in common with these people.
I have around 25 or so that I regularly talk to (I have like 6 different friend groups), and then a bunch more that I talk to semi-regularly. I trust all of them (including the friends I talk to semi-regularly) but of those 25 I'd say I'm SUUUUPER close to like 8 of them.
This house party is gonna be lit.
I have 4 close friends I've known for decades
Find a public activity just for the sake of interacting with others once the pandemic lets up. Martial arts for adults, volunteer to help with theater techs as a gaffer or prop handler or something, volunteer at a shelter, sign up for group oriented events.
Doin your own things fine but you gotta put yourself into groups to meet friends and strike up conversations regularly. Once the pandemic lets up im hitting animation clubs and game jams at my college where I work, doin martial arts again and gonna see if my fabrication and sculpting skills would be something theaters would enjoy. All to meet folks and have a "hangout group".
Best friends that I've had for 25-40 years, 9-10. Close friends that now live away, 5-6. Around 15 more of just friends I'd say.
Helps that I live in a big City and very few people left, so I have all my friends from school here (my family as well).
I'm from the mediterranean though, I know that is harder for people in the states to stay in contact with their family & friends, as people tend to move around much more over there.
Helps that I live in a big City and very few people left, so I have all my friends from school here (my family as well).
I'm from the mediterranean though, I know that is harder for people in the states to stay in contact with their family & friends, as people tend to move around much more over there.
I kind of wish I was like that; just sticking to a few people. That's what 99.999% of people do. But I like having variety tbh
You do you. Kind of jealous knowing this many people ;)
Friends that I can call friends no matter the circumstances? Like 12-13
Friends I always feel comfortable with and can hit them up like no time was lost? Like 9
Friends I actually see in person (thanks to a lot of them moving out of state) Like 3 :/ Sometimes 4-5 but very rarely.
I have a need/urge to want more friends. I want to be like those people who always have a busy social life even though my social battery drains pretty quickly. Then there will always be something to fill the empty, boring parts of life. Pretty hard to make friends post college and definitely during the pandemic. BUT, I do admit I probably didn't try as hard to look for friends before. I'll definitely try now that I'm vaccinated.
Friends I always feel comfortable with and can hit them up like no time was lost? Like 9
Friends I actually see in person (thanks to a lot of them moving out of state) Like 3 :/ Sometimes 4-5 but very rarely.
I have a need/urge to want more friends. I want to be like those people who always have a busy social life even though my social battery drains pretty quickly. Then there will always be something to fill the empty, boring parts of life. Pretty hard to make friends post college and definitely during the pandemic. BUT, I do admit I probably didn't try as hard to look for friends before. I'll definitely try now that I'm vaccinated.
Mmm, it's a weird mish-mash at this point in my life.
Best/lifelong friends - 2
Good friends - 2
Online only - 0 (this used to be much much higher in the early 2000s but I've lost touch with all of them)
Work friends - maybe 2-3 that I actually consider "good" friends but I rarely see them outside of work
I would love to have more friends but it just seems impossible at this point in life. Peoples lives are too busy/packed to fit all that many people in. Between kids, work, family, other obligations, church... when do you actually fit "finding new friends" into the mix?
Best/lifelong friends - 2
Good friends - 2
Online only - 0 (this used to be much much higher in the early 2000s but I've lost touch with all of them)
Work friends - maybe 2-3 that I actually consider "good" friends but I rarely see them outside of work
I would love to have more friends but it just seems impossible at this point in life. Peoples lives are too busy/packed to fit all that many people in. Between kids, work, family, other obligations, church... when do you actually fit "finding new friends" into the mix?
Maybe 13 friends. 1 from school, 9 from uni, 1 online, 2 from work.
I'm not the best at keeping up contact, but catch up with them anywhere from yearly to weekly.
I'm not the best at keeping up contact, but catch up with them anywhere from yearly to weekly.
About 10-15, I'd say. Plus/minus 5 depending on the definition.The pandemic basically cut down my friends circle by about 50%. Some of the cuts I welcome (the odd narcissist or conspiracy theorist), some of it I want to repair as soon as most of the current restrictions are gone.
I feel like there is an understanding between me and some of my long-time friends that we are in a special situation and that even though some of us hardly talked over the past few months, we will not be mad at each other. It's just a lot to deal with and each one of us kinda struggles.
I feel like there is an understanding between me and some of my long-time friends that we are in a special situation and that even though some of us hardly talked over the past few months, we will not be mad at each other. It's just a lot to deal with and each one of us kinda struggles.
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I'm a dancer thats always going out to dance events, meeting other dancers. I have about 50 friends more or less. I'm in my mid 30's.
If you find a hobby, you can make a lot of friends that have the same interest.
If you find a hobby, you can make a lot of friends that have the same interest.
Dude, honestly, that's rude. I should be able to react with honest feelings. This thread isn't about just people who want more and more friends, and I haven't exactly been attacking anyone that feels differently.
A handful at most. At least you have three at home by default lol
Im an introvert though so if you're not the one putting out effort I'm probably not going to be talking to you that much. :[
Im an introvert though so if you're not the one putting out effort I'm probably not going to be talking to you that much. :[
A lot more than I planned to, that's for sure.
I personally like to keep my friend circle small, but I tend to get along with just about everyone, so my friend circle is has become much bigger over the years. I'm 41, soon to be 42.
I have best friends, friends I've known since I was in high school that I still chat with, very close friends that I may not get to see in person all the time, if at all, but still text back and forth with, and the rest are friends in varying capacities.
The one thing I miss the most because of this stupid pandemic are game nights, where a bunch of us would hang out, drink, play board games, video games, eat food, and have a good time. The last time we did that in person was over a year ago, though we still try to have virtual game nights from time to time, which is still a lot of fun, but not the same as when we're able to see each other in person and do stuff like Halloween Haunt nights, bowling, that sort of thing.
I personally like to keep my friend circle small, but I tend to get along with just about everyone, so my friend circle is has become much bigger over the years. I'm 41, soon to be 42.
I have best friends, friends I've known since I was in high school that I still chat with, very close friends that I may not get to see in person all the time, if at all, but still text back and forth with, and the rest are friends in varying capacities.
The one thing I miss the most because of this stupid pandemic are game nights, where a bunch of us would hang out, drink, play board games, video games, eat food, and have a good time. The last time we did that in person was over a year ago, though we still try to have virtual game nights from time to time, which is still a lot of fun, but not the same as when we're able to see each other in person and do stuff like Halloween Haunt nights, bowling, that sort of thing.
I have several friend groups ranging from group chats with acquaintances/kind of friends to tight knit friends. Real good friends I'd say around 10, rest are just normal friends I talk with once in a while.
Just as a test, I sent out a request to 15 people I know asking them to go out and do something in the next month. 12 people seen my message, 0 have replied. I know where I stand, people only seem to reach out to me when they want something.
Those aren't friends. At least not the way I'd define them. I'm sorry this is happening to you. I know how isolating it feels.
I've always been about building strong bonds with the people in my life. So, that's resulted in strong relationships even once distance or schedule becomes a limiting factor. I've never had a serious romantic entanglement, so that's given me the time to focus on building rock solid friendships. I would say I have about 20 really close friends over several different friend groups.
Close friends (including wife)? I'd say 5. Once-a-month friends? Another 5.
It is absolutely hard to make friends in your 30s.
Random, but one of my friends' fiance signed up for Bumble BFF and had a great experience. My wife is signed up now, too, and having a good time. There's a weird stigma with making friends via apps, but I'm not sure why.
It is absolutely hard to make friends in your 30s.
Random, but one of my friends' fiance signed up for Bumble BFF and had a great experience. My wife is signed up now, too, and having a good time. There's a weird stigma with making friends via apps, but I'm not sure why.
