Why do you need to bring so many friends? It's HIS wedding, do they at least know your brother?
Ask first and if you really need an extra spot pay for it yourself
Ask first and if you really need an extra spot pay for it yourself
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Would it be a hassle to have one of my friends crash my brother's wedding?
- Thread starter pleaseinsertdisctwo
- Start date
Lmao it's his brother. And they're supposedly close. Nobody is saying ask him point blank in a huge gathering and put him on the spot. Just ask him casually if it's OK. This isn't asking your friend of a friends for their wedding.
Just ask him. If he says yes, then great. If he says no, then you need to respect his decision.
But absolutely do not drag strangers to someone else's wedding. That's a surefire way to get bro and bride pissed off at you.
But absolutely do not drag strangers to someone else's wedding. That's a surefire way to get bro and bride pissed off at you.
I'm glad you've decided to ask first. Weddings aren't like parties. You can't just show up with extras. It takes planning, costs money, and I'm hard pressed to think of a ruder (widely accepted thing) to do than that. And you already have +5 which is pretty crazy generous for this sort of thing.
So many people on this site seem to be unable to communicate lmao. Do not crash a wedding after your brother was generous enough to let you bring 5 people.
And here I am grumbling because my cousin is apparently having a "no kids" wedding and I'm debating bringing mine anyway.
Edit: real talk tho, I'm not gonna take him, we just won't go. We don't have much choice the list of people we trust with him is extremely short and they will all be at the wedding too.
Edit: real talk tho, I'm not gonna take him, we just won't go. We don't have much choice the list of people we trust with him is extremely short and they will all be at the wedding too.
You already can invite 5 people, its a lot, OP. If inviting this girl is so important to you, simply exclude one of your original 5 guests and put her in their place.
The wedding is your brother's big day, you should be making things easier for him instead of causing problems.
The wedding is your brother's big day, you should be making things easier for him instead of causing problems.
Weddings genreally take a ton of planning (have had 2) and just inviting extra people is a dick move. That he even let you invite 5 people you wanted is whack as it is. My weddings invites were sent to specific people and if they were allowed to bring a partner it said +1 on it.
My second was a no kids wedding and everyone that had kids and made it loved it. But if you don't have an option then you don;t have an option. Telling your cousin that its that cut and dry might get you a pass. But just rocking up with them is not on.
My second was a no kids wedding and everyone that had kids and made it loved it. But if you don't have an option then you don;t have an option. Telling your cousin that its that cut and dry might get you a pass. But just rocking up with them is not on.
Considering the OP posted here rather then talking to his brother then it clearly shows he thinks he won't be allowed, therefore don't bring uninvited guests.
Yeah, how old is OP? Are y'all like in high school or something?
Even then it would be weird if someone asked me to go their brother's wedding. If I knew the brother well, then they could invite me directly.
Giving you a +5 is already really generous too.
Is your brother like crazy rich or something? What is the total headcount on this wedding? If it's like 500+ people honestly you probably could just bring another friend, but they should understand they might not get a plated meal or have anywhere to sit during dinner unless other people don't show, which is actually quite likely for that big of a wedding. I wouldn't go bothering your brother at the wedding though about food or seating. He's got more to worry about than your friends he didn't invite.
Everyone who has kids knows how great it is to have a night out away from the kids so it's not surprising that everyone had a great time. We don't get it often enough. IMO tho it's a bad look when your relatives who don't even have kids say "don't bring your kids" especially when they know the situation.
As far as it being "not on" I said I wasn't gonna didn't I? First post was an expression of frustration and I threw the edit in there so people didn't feel the need.
This is a good option too honestly. Tell one of your friends they can come after dinner service. There's still probably food around if it's a big wedding but this way you're not causing problems with headcount and seating arrangements.
This is where i am. You already get 5 guests and you wanna ask for more? Seems pretty ungrateful, but also who are all these people so set on going to your brother's wedding?
I think it'd be rude to ask because your brother might be a nice guy and try to accomodate. Youve akready been told weddings are stressful times that are meticulously planned out, and youre going to basically give your brother the option of him having to disappoint you or go through the trouble of shuffling things around ao you can bring 6 people to his wedding.
How is it a bad look for childless people to tell people not to bring their kids? It's their wedding. If you can't get a sitter don't come. That's the idea.
Wasn't having a pop, just tacking it on there.
I'd also add that had my immediate family had kids, they would still have been invited even with a no kids rule. I suppose it depends on how close everyone is and shit. There was a 4 month old at my second wedding with the no kids rule because they told us there was no way they could come otherwise so naturally that's different.
I was fortunate that there were probably only 5 people that had kids, and all were glad to get a night out. Also my only family there were my parents, brother and his wife. No cousins or anything. I suppose it would all have depended on whether I saw my cousins on the regular or if it was just a case of "yeah I remember you, your Uncle knobheads boy, I last saw you 5 years ago."
I only offered this up as a potential solution since someone did that at my wedding. It didn't add any additional cost.
Good. It sucks you can't go, but no kids should mean no kids.
Funny, at a recent wedding for a cousin, they had a no kids rule. But magically, 3 people on the bride side had 2-3 kids in tow. One of the groom aunts sacrificed her spot at the wedding to watch several sets of kids of the groom side kids.
Let just say, the rift between the bride and groom side of the party become ugly very quick. It is rude when people just show up with whoever at a wedding.
When it comes to wedding, just ask. If you get a no, thank them for the invite, and explain you can't come for x,y, and z.
Wedding are crazy stressful and expensive. It not your day, it is the wedding parties day. They probably feel guilt enough for having to cut the guest list down to accomidate their budget and space.
How can I explain this...
It can imply a number of things. Mainly I see "We don't like kids and can't have a good time with them around." Maybe a bit harsh but some people truly don't like kids and it's gonna make me wonder next time we're at a family gathering if we are annoying them just by our presence with our kid.
And from my perspective... my kid is autistic. I'm left wondering if this is connected in anyway. All the time people, especially children, with non-typical behaviors have issues in public with stares, eye-rolls, and even comments and now I'm left wondering if this is part of it.
I've seen this claim before of "we want our parent guests to have a nice night without the kids." Ok great you want to provide a nice night away from kids for the parents? You aren't providing anything except a venue and I'm certainly not lacking in venues for a night out. You're placing a demand on us not providing us anything because (and maybe your social circles are different) attending a family wedding is expected. I'm expected to go, and I'm expected to not take my kid. Don't use that excuse. If parents want to have a night out without kids to come to your wedding they can make that call on their own with what resources they have available.
And if you are ok with me not being there as a result... it pretty much says you care about my kids absence more than my presence. And if that's so... well I guess I know what you think about me. I'm disposable in your life. Cool.
So yeah. To me that's a bad look.
I've probably said enough on this topic and it's spreading into full on derail now so I'll leave it at that.
I wouldn't invite anyone extra to the actual wedding, but usually the reception afterwards is open to anyone who wants to come. At that point it's just a party, everyone buys their owns drinks (usually) so having someone extra come along isn't a big deal.
You should ask your brother if it's OK for you to invite an extra friend to the reception.
I'm ok with anybody who came to our wedding thinking all that. Because we got to throw the party we wanted, sans kids, and are immune to such guilt trips trying to make it about the poor parents who had to get a babysitter.
For a family member's wedding I definitely don't think it's a good 'look'. A family wedding excluding some of the family seems to really be missing the point to me. For childless friends, it's up to them of course, but having no close family nearby we just can't go, and others with situations like Faiz's are in their own kind of bind.
Your friends shouldn't be a concern on that day and wording it as a "crashing of your brothers wedding" looks super selfish to me. Just one day that isn't focused on you, OP, let your brother focus on something else.
And? I never said they couldn't. I just said for family to exclude family is kind of missing the point of what is generally considered a family affair. They can do what they like. As you said, it's their wedding.
Family should go both ways. They're family, it's their wedding, if you love them and their demands are reasonable let them do what they want.
Don't like it or them? Please don't go!
My thoughts exactly. OP have some self awareness and don't be a prick.
If they're family and they don't want my family coming, then...I won't? Not sure why you felt you needed the exclamation parts. I'm not demanding my children get to go, and I'm not really fussed about it. I just don't agree. Why bother to prioritize inviting family at all (as weddings generally do) if the affair is more about a particular kind of fun? A particular vision? I dunno. It just seems very strange to me.
